Didn't get it

Tuesday:

I didn't get that library job, or even an interview. 😢 Email this morning said they had an overwhelming response so they chose the best qualified. Fair enough. I'm less than half way through my studies. And I don't think my application was great, I'm out of practice. And I need to focus on my studies not divide my attention with a part time job.

Still disappointed.

I'll wait until I've finished my course in 12 months before I apply again I think. I hadn't been intending to apply for anything until then anyway, until this one came up.

My weight has been creeping up slowly for a while and these past couple of weeks it has jumped up. 83.2 kg. Not good. I've been exercising a bit more (not enough to burn a significant amount of calories) but eating badly. I think due to a combination of cold weather, my birthday, school holidays with the kids and now my husband home, and most importantly I've been sleeping terribly. Really restless, frequent night sweats accompanied by stressful and frustrating dreams (like last night I was supposed to go and pick up a dog but my car was blocked into the car park so I couldn't get out, and then I was at a lunch buffet where my husband was eating doughnuts but all I could see was raw chicken drumsticks and Aiden was crying because he didn't like sausages. All weird nonsense.) Of course lack of decent sleep makes me tired all day, which makes me want to eat to keep myself going. And not exercise.

It's so frustrating. If I don't count not getting the job my life is really good with nothing to complain about - except that I feel tired and sick all the time which sucks so much. And I can't lose weight. I'm in a bad-health hole that is affecting my whole life. And my family's lives, they have a lethargic headachy cranky wife/mother who never wants to do anything.

Ok, lets move away from that train wreck. I just read 'Spark Joy', that book about how to declutter. I quite like the idea of keeping only things that bring you joy and getting rid of the rest, but the detail she goes into about the correct way to fold clothes seems a bit excessive. And the idea that you should get rid of most books after you've read them! No no no.

We've lost momentum on our box-of-the-day sorting. We did it all last week but then stopped. At least what we have left is now stacked neatly in the garage. That sparks joy for me!

Ninja Warrior Australia has just started here and we are watching avidly. They are all so athletic! If I could be awesome at one sport, it would be that parkour stuff.