Arachnid relocation successful

Friday:

For a few weeks we've had an orb spider spinning its web between two pot plants right under the shade umbrella.

I moved the sun lounges further away but when I wanted to unfurl the umbrella I had to stand with it literally half an arms' length away from my chest - way too close! Both Tim and I are scared of spiders, I think he's even worse than me. He once broke a window trying to kill a Huntsman with a broom. To be fair, it was the size of a dinner plate. Yes I mean that literally. Biggest damn spider I've ever seen. A big dinner plate.

I just looked up orb spiders and their venom isn't very toxic to humans but the top two searches said "non-aggressive, seldom bite" and "most common spider species to bite" so I don't know which to believe! Either way, it was non-aggressively doing its job eating insects for me and I didn't want to kill it but I also didn't want it so close to where I sit trying to relax by the pool. So yesterday afternoon I got a very long stick and scooped it off its web and carried it over to the frangipani in the corner by the fence, out of the way but with lots of branches to string its web between (they make a new web every night and eat the old one). It was very co-operative, sat right on the end of the stick (didn't come scuttling towards me, which would have resulted in screams and throwing of the stick) and crawled off onto its new home straight away.

And this morning there was a neat new web among the frangipani branches. I was worried it would make its way back to the old place, only a few meters away, but hopefully it will be happy in the new spot.

As spiders go, it's not too scary or ugly. Quite pretty really. If you know Australia, you know we have a lot of 'nopes' (because you look at them and say 'nope' (no) as you back away) that are much bigger, hairier, and filled with the lust to kill. Try looking up Funnel Web Spider. Gertrude isn't so bad.

Not a Nimbus 2000

Wednesday:

We received a very long parcel in the mail yesterday, a birthday present for my husband from his cousin Matt. I wondered at first if it was a Nimbus 2000, but no, it was Gandalf's staff:

Isn't that cool! I realise that "cool" probably isn't the word some people would use...

Tim doesn't look his years, does he! Just turned 40.

I haven't done much revision on my novel yet but I'm back in a good headspace about it. I'm having ideas about how to fix the problems that have been identified, and making notes in the margins. It's more bits and pieces of work rather than any long sessions. My best "thinking" times are generally when I'm not sitting in front of the computer. Long drives to Sydney, in the shower, and while on a walk are my best times. Or after I've got into bed, which is why I keep a notebook and pen nearby.

I'm also reading the next person's novel for the critique group. We do one a month, mine was the first for the year. You basically commit to a year (8-10 novels) in return for having yours included. I like the editing process, I've done it as a paid profession, but what I am not looking forward to is the face-to-face part. I've never liked meeting clients in person although they sometimes ask for it, and I'm bad enough at giving criticism by email let alone to someone's face. I shrink from any kind of confrontation. I am reasonably practised at being tactful on paper, but dread the thought of having to say to someone "these are the problems..." Easier to be on the receiving end! And this particular author is one of the less experienced writers (like me) so there are going to be plenty of problems.

I had a heart-racing experience this afternoon. Jasmine collected the mail and a free local newspaper from the mailbox on her way home from school and handed it to me at the door, and a big huntsman spider crawled out. Screams, mail everywhere, spider scuttling under the chair. I managed to squash it with my shoe (shoe being on my foot) on the second try. Still feel the adrenalin. I say big, its leg span was probably smaller than my hand so it wasn't especially large by Australian standards (I have literally seen them as big as a dinner plate) but it was still an unpleasant shock to have one crawl out of something I am holding in my hands. I'll be nervous for days.

Report card:
Diet: Poor. Take away dinner after late dance class. A couple of choc chip cookies earlier.
Exercise: Poor. None.
Water: Will try to drink two more before bed.
Sleep: Ok. Still needed a short nap this afternoon.
Mental health: Good.

Spider

Thursday:

I was heading for bed a bit later than usual last night, about 11pm, and was brushing my teeth when I saw in the mirror that my husband, standing behind me, had an odd look on his face and was keeping his distance. "What?" I gurgled through a mouthful of foam. "Oh, nothing," he replied unconvincingly. He waited until I had rinsed my mouth before pointing out the huntsman spider in the corner above me.

If you haven't heard, Australia has some big spiders. This one was yet a baby, not much bigger than the palm of my hand, but fat and hairy. (Makes me think of Hagrid talking about his pet spider Aragog, so cute when he was just born, "Tiny thing, he was, about the size of a Pekinese.") But no kidding, we've had one hiking along the outside of our house that was literally the size of a serving platter. I think that was the time Tim broke a window trying to kill it with a broom.

We have an ensuite bathroom but for some reason the sink is in our actual bedroom instead. So this spider is up in the corner of our bedroom. And both Tim and I are arachnophobic. No way either of us are getting closer than the end of a broomstick. And even that is with much girding of loins and darting backwards in terror if the spider moves. And it was on the blinds, which of course just ripple if you wack them, leaving the spider unharmed but agitated, or maybe flicked off and propelled towards you as you scream in terror.

Tim was rather against using spray in our bedroom at bedtime but we couldn't see any other way. So he emptied half a can of spray on it from as close as he could make himself go and it reeled around drunkenly for about 15 minutes, sometimes in view and sometimes hidden behind the blinds, slipping and scrambling up again, it's back white with flyspray. And it as guarding the window so we couldn't get close enough to open that and let some fresh air but we couldn't take our eyes off the spider, it could go anywhere and disappear and then we would be living in fear forever! so we had to stay and endure the fumes. Finally the spider got sick enough that Tim was able to sweep it onto the floor, thump it spasmodically a few times with the broom then stomp on it with shoes put on specially for the purpose.

And we opened the window and left the room for an hour to watch half a movie before going to bed very late with the room still reeking. But at least spider-free.