Wednesday:
I'm rereading a fantasy book series (The Soldier Son) by Robin Hobb where the main character, a fit and successful young cadet, is cursed by magic so that he becomes hugely obese. He goes through all the physical problems and social scorn that this causes - his fiancée dumps him; his father locks him in his room with little food and then no food, convinced he is cheating on his diet somehow; he is kicked out of the army. He experiences other people's assumption that fat equals lazy, greedy, stupid, and even untrustworthy. But then he meets the culture whose magic made him obese, and there finds that obesity is revered as showing wealth, wisdom and power. Huge shamans have "feeders" who look after them in every way. Such a contrast.
The books have reminded me how much I would love to have an excuse for my obesity. It's not my fault, I'm not just greedy and lazy, I have a previously undiagnosed vitamin deficiency and I can't help it! And I want an easy solution - just take this pill and you'll be cured!
I am aware that some people think that we do already have a good excuse - our obesogenic surroundings and addictive sugar intake. And my defeated response to that is: if I am addicted to sugar and that is why I have cravings etc, then the only way to solve that is to go through horribly difficult withdrawal while continually surrounded by junk food so where does that leave me? In the movie "As Good As It Gets" Jack Nicholson has OCD and does something obnoxious as usual and his psychiatrist objects, and he says: "Dr. Green, how can you diagnose someone as an obsessive compulsive disorder, and then act like I have some choice about barging in here?" My point is, I don't want to believe that dieting is as hard as giving up heroin. If it is, then I guess I can't. I've certainly tried often enough. I want an easier solution than that.
I've been enjoying watching The Biggest Loser. The trainers lived with their family teams for a week (I think five days) and ate what they ate, and as well as feeling very sick the whole time, they all put on a lot of weight - the most was Michelle with 7.6 kilograms. I know a lot of that would be fluid retention from the salt, but still. Wow. Then the contestants had their first workout. One woman in particular was of the "I can't" school of thought, but after lots of pushing she got through it and at the end she burst into emotional tears. She could hardly believe it, but she really could do it after all. There is my lesson for the day. Maybe I can.
Showing posts with label excuses. Show all posts
Showing posts with label excuses. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 15, 2015
Tuesday, March 31, 2015
Excuses
Tuesday:
I've been ponding the excuses I usually use to avoid eating healthy and exercising. I came up with three main ones straight away which stem from real reasons but fade into lame excuses, and later thought of another one which I find a bit weirder.
1) "It's a special occasion, like my birthday." I do think I should be able to have cake and my favourite dinner on my birthday. Or relax the rules at Christmas. It's both a social/cultural thing and also a personal break from constant vigilance. Problem is "special occasions" can happen a lot more often than twice a year. You start with birthday and Christmas. Add Easter, because I love chocolate. Valentine's Day, well that's a special day. My husband's birthday. My kids' birthdays. Other family members and friends' birthdays. Weddings. Engagement parties. Baby showers. Once a week afternoon tea with a friend. Sunday morning brunch. Supper on games night. It never ends. When I worked in a big office and ran the tea club for more than 80 members, we had a birthday morning tea at least once a week and often twice.
I struggle with this one because I'm not sure where to draw the line. Sean Anderson chose two days a year on his original weight loss plan when he could add 1000 calories to his usual 1500 plan, and that was it. Two days - Christmas and Thanksgiving (I think). But on the other hand, he ate whatever he wanted within those daily 1500 calories so he didn't have to give up less healthy options. He eats a little differently now. I don't think I could face saying "no junk except two days a year". That is too restrictive for me. So do I just count calories and fit in a treat whenever I want? Do I have one treat meal or free day a week and be strict the rest of the time? I go back and forth.
2) "I am sad/stressed." Sometimes I feel like I somehow deserve bad food, or don't need to make an effort to exercise, because I am having a bad day. Again, at one end of the spectrum I think this excuse has some validity. When my mother died, I had about a month where losing weight wasn't a priority for me. I wasn't binging or gaining weight, but I wasn't making an effort to get healthier either. It just wasn't the most important thing to me for a while. But really traumatic things don't happen that often, thank goodness. Mostly a bad day comes from something much smaller. At what point to you say "that is not a good enough reason"? Actually I don't really need help to sort this one out. I know that I am just being slack! But I do it anyway. I feel bad therefore I get to do whatever I want.
3) "I am too sick." I have a genuine problem with this one. I think some people exercise when they shouldn't, when their body needs rest to recover from or fight off illness. But I know I go too far the other way. Since I am overweight and unfit, and have sleep apnoea so I don't get enough sleep and am always tired, I feel a bit sick all the time anyway and I can't always tell if it's something I should be pushing through. I've been too sick to exercise the past few days but when do I go back to the gym? When I am "completely better"? How will I know when I am? When I can go for a walk without wheezing and coughing? Actually I wouldn't go to the gym while I am still snotty or coughing, I try not to infect others, but I could exercise at home. Would I make myself sicker again if I start too soon? I worry a lot about this excuse because I genuinely don't know.
So those are my three main excuses, I think, but today I realised I have another one. It's the excuse of anticipation.
4) "I can't wait." If I am anticipating eating something bad soon, I give in and eat something bad now. Most years in the lead-up to Easter (not this year as I've been unwell and mostly uninterested) I would eat a lot of Easter chocolate before the day. And it's not just big celebrations like that. If I start thinking "Saturday is my cheat day and I can eat x and y" then I really really want x and y now! I am not good at delayed gratification. Apparently that is a key problem for general happiness in life - they've done studies. Maybe the answer here is to just not think about it? Is that possible? Or maybe I need to consider this and point 1 together. Daily strictness with occasional splurges leads to thinking about the splurges with leads to anticipatory extra splurges. So maybe I should go with a basic calorie count and I can fit whatever I want into that, to avoid the deprive/binge cycle. It feels like a beginners diet option, but maybe that is the stage I am in. I like the idea of structure, but I fail at diets pretty quickly. Keep it simple.
Anyway, Fogdog went for a walk today even though he was feeling sick, so that guilted me into doing the same. My legs ached pretty badly afterwards but otherwise I was ok.
Report card:
Diet: Ok. Ate too much in the afternoon.
Exercise: Good start.
Water: Good.
Sleep: I've spent a lot of time in bed but without my CPAP (nose pillows) due to very runny nose, so I don't feel very rested. I don't think I can use it tonight, but hopefully tomorrow night.
Mental health: Ok.
Teacher's note: Natalie needs to stop making excuses. Her dog did not eat her homework. She does not even own a dog. She can achieve anything if she applies herself and works hard.
I've been ponding the excuses I usually use to avoid eating healthy and exercising. I came up with three main ones straight away which stem from real reasons but fade into lame excuses, and later thought of another one which I find a bit weirder.
1) "It's a special occasion, like my birthday." I do think I should be able to have cake and my favourite dinner on my birthday. Or relax the rules at Christmas. It's both a social/cultural thing and also a personal break from constant vigilance. Problem is "special occasions" can happen a lot more often than twice a year. You start with birthday and Christmas. Add Easter, because I love chocolate. Valentine's Day, well that's a special day. My husband's birthday. My kids' birthdays. Other family members and friends' birthdays. Weddings. Engagement parties. Baby showers. Once a week afternoon tea with a friend. Sunday morning brunch. Supper on games night. It never ends. When I worked in a big office and ran the tea club for more than 80 members, we had a birthday morning tea at least once a week and often twice.
I struggle with this one because I'm not sure where to draw the line. Sean Anderson chose two days a year on his original weight loss plan when he could add 1000 calories to his usual 1500 plan, and that was it. Two days - Christmas and Thanksgiving (I think). But on the other hand, he ate whatever he wanted within those daily 1500 calories so he didn't have to give up less healthy options. He eats a little differently now. I don't think I could face saying "no junk except two days a year". That is too restrictive for me. So do I just count calories and fit in a treat whenever I want? Do I have one treat meal or free day a week and be strict the rest of the time? I go back and forth.
2) "I am sad/stressed." Sometimes I feel like I somehow deserve bad food, or don't need to make an effort to exercise, because I am having a bad day. Again, at one end of the spectrum I think this excuse has some validity. When my mother died, I had about a month where losing weight wasn't a priority for me. I wasn't binging or gaining weight, but I wasn't making an effort to get healthier either. It just wasn't the most important thing to me for a while. But really traumatic things don't happen that often, thank goodness. Mostly a bad day comes from something much smaller. At what point to you say "that is not a good enough reason"? Actually I don't really need help to sort this one out. I know that I am just being slack! But I do it anyway. I feel bad therefore I get to do whatever I want.
3) "I am too sick." I have a genuine problem with this one. I think some people exercise when they shouldn't, when their body needs rest to recover from or fight off illness. But I know I go too far the other way. Since I am overweight and unfit, and have sleep apnoea so I don't get enough sleep and am always tired, I feel a bit sick all the time anyway and I can't always tell if it's something I should be pushing through. I've been too sick to exercise the past few days but when do I go back to the gym? When I am "completely better"? How will I know when I am? When I can go for a walk without wheezing and coughing? Actually I wouldn't go to the gym while I am still snotty or coughing, I try not to infect others, but I could exercise at home. Would I make myself sicker again if I start too soon? I worry a lot about this excuse because I genuinely don't know.
So those are my three main excuses, I think, but today I realised I have another one. It's the excuse of anticipation.
4) "I can't wait." If I am anticipating eating something bad soon, I give in and eat something bad now. Most years in the lead-up to Easter (not this year as I've been unwell and mostly uninterested) I would eat a lot of Easter chocolate before the day. And it's not just big celebrations like that. If I start thinking "Saturday is my cheat day and I can eat x and y" then I really really want x and y now! I am not good at delayed gratification. Apparently that is a key problem for general happiness in life - they've done studies. Maybe the answer here is to just not think about it? Is that possible? Or maybe I need to consider this and point 1 together. Daily strictness with occasional splurges leads to thinking about the splurges with leads to anticipatory extra splurges. So maybe I should go with a basic calorie count and I can fit whatever I want into that, to avoid the deprive/binge cycle. It feels like a beginners diet option, but maybe that is the stage I am in. I like the idea of structure, but I fail at diets pretty quickly. Keep it simple.
Anyway, Fogdog went for a walk today even though he was feeling sick, so that guilted me into doing the same. My legs ached pretty badly afterwards but otherwise I was ok.
Report card:
Diet: Ok. Ate too much in the afternoon.
Exercise: Good start.
Water: Good.
Sleep: I've spent a lot of time in bed but without my CPAP (nose pillows) due to very runny nose, so I don't feel very rested. I don't think I can use it tonight, but hopefully tomorrow night.
Mental health: Ok.
Teacher's note: Natalie needs to stop making excuses. Her dog did not eat her homework. She does not even own a dog. She can achieve anything if she applies herself and works hard.
Friday, October 17, 2014
Excuses and Lessons
Saturday:
I didn't go to the gym yesterday. I could give you my list of excuses (which would not stand up under scrutiny) but the real reason was that - as I planned to walk around the lake and go on to other things straight from there - I was wearing normal clothes not my exercise gear. And in my normal clothes I just didn't feel "in the mood" for exercise. I skipped the walk and was busy all morning. I was not busy in the afternoon. Various times throughout the day I told myself to get changed and go to the gym, but I never did. Too much effort.
I bought myself new hand weights, 3 kg each, and did about 15 minutes of various moves with them. So I guess that was something. But there was no reasonable reason why I didn't do a lot more. Gym, walking, dancing, a whole array of choices. I told myself I would make up for it on Saturday morning, so I would still have done four sessions this week.
My husband called me at lunchtime as he was feeling sick so I went and picked him up from his work, he spent the afternoon sleeping. He feels better today but I feel like crap. My body aches and I feel like I'm trying to swallow a golf ball. Bloody germs. Hopefully just a 24 hour thing that I will fight off.
I can turn this into a learning experience. Two lessons. Firstly, like many people I need to do my exercise first thing or it won't get done. (For me first thing is after I get the kids to school.) And I need to set myself up for exercise, not make it easy to avoid it. Get into my exercise gear when I get up in the morning! Not allowed to get changed or take off tight uncomfortable sports bra until I have exercised!
And secondly, don't assume that tomorrow will somehow be easier than today. Or even as easy. Do what you need to do when you get the chance because tomorrow might not be what you expected.
Yes I am cranky with myself for not exercising yesterday. But on the bright side I did three good sessions at the gym this week. That is a decent start.
I didn't go to the gym yesterday. I could give you my list of excuses (which would not stand up under scrutiny) but the real reason was that - as I planned to walk around the lake and go on to other things straight from there - I was wearing normal clothes not my exercise gear. And in my normal clothes I just didn't feel "in the mood" for exercise. I skipped the walk and was busy all morning. I was not busy in the afternoon. Various times throughout the day I told myself to get changed and go to the gym, but I never did. Too much effort.
I bought myself new hand weights, 3 kg each, and did about 15 minutes of various moves with them. So I guess that was something. But there was no reasonable reason why I didn't do a lot more. Gym, walking, dancing, a whole array of choices. I told myself I would make up for it on Saturday morning, so I would still have done four sessions this week.
My husband called me at lunchtime as he was feeling sick so I went and picked him up from his work, he spent the afternoon sleeping. He feels better today but I feel like crap. My body aches and I feel like I'm trying to swallow a golf ball. Bloody germs. Hopefully just a 24 hour thing that I will fight off.
I can turn this into a learning experience. Two lessons. Firstly, like many people I need to do my exercise first thing or it won't get done. (For me first thing is after I get the kids to school.) And I need to set myself up for exercise, not make it easy to avoid it. Get into my exercise gear when I get up in the morning! Not allowed to get changed or take off tight uncomfortable sports bra until I have exercised!
And secondly, don't assume that tomorrow will somehow be easier than today. Or even as easy. Do what you need to do when you get the chance because tomorrow might not be what you expected.
Yes I am cranky with myself for not exercising yesterday. But on the bright side I did three good sessions at the gym this week. That is a decent start.
Tuesday, April 22, 2014
Lost
Wednesday:
I am feeling quite lost at the moment in terms of getting healthy. I keep thinking "THIS thing (a new milestone high weight, a photo of myself, pre-diabetes, high blood pressure, fat clothes too small, having to wear a machine to help me breathe at night for goodness sake) will be the thing that gets me permanently motivated. But after a panicked couple of days I slip straight back into my old ways. I don't know how to stop this upward creep on the scales.
I used to have a fair bit of scorn (sorry) for overweight people who have "tried everything" yet are still fat. How about trying eating less/healthy and exercising? Simple, right? It may be simple, but that doesn't mean easy. Or even moderately difficult. It is so hard that it can seem impossible.
Maybe I am addicted to sugar and processed food or maybe stuff from my childhood has affected me or I have the wrong gut bacteria or who knows what? Maybe the reasons are relevant. I don't know. I am stuck.
I am full of excuses. We are having visitors, so I have to make dessert, and I have to eat some. I can't exercise today because I'm not wearing the right bra. Easter means I'm allowed to eat lots of chocolate. I want it. I don't feel like it. An event with unhealthy eating is coming up so I might as well start after that is over. I don't know what to have to breakfast. I'm too tired. I don't like yoghurt unless I have strawberries to put in it. Vegetables are boring. It's cold, so I'm craving fatty food. I like chips. If I exercise I'll get sweaty and then I'll have to shower and change. It might rain. It's too hot. I didn't get enough sleep last night. I feel self-conscious at this weight. Experts disagree on whether this is bad for me, so I can do what I want. I've already ruined today, I'll start tomorrow.
I am feeling quite lost at the moment in terms of getting healthy. I keep thinking "THIS thing (a new milestone high weight, a photo of myself, pre-diabetes, high blood pressure, fat clothes too small, having to wear a machine to help me breathe at night for goodness sake) will be the thing that gets me permanently motivated. But after a panicked couple of days I slip straight back into my old ways. I don't know how to stop this upward creep on the scales.
I used to have a fair bit of scorn (sorry) for overweight people who have "tried everything" yet are still fat. How about trying eating less/healthy and exercising? Simple, right? It may be simple, but that doesn't mean easy. Or even moderately difficult. It is so hard that it can seem impossible.
Maybe I am addicted to sugar and processed food or maybe stuff from my childhood has affected me or I have the wrong gut bacteria or who knows what? Maybe the reasons are relevant. I don't know. I am stuck.
I am full of excuses. We are having visitors, so I have to make dessert, and I have to eat some. I can't exercise today because I'm not wearing the right bra. Easter means I'm allowed to eat lots of chocolate. I want it. I don't feel like it. An event with unhealthy eating is coming up so I might as well start after that is over. I don't know what to have to breakfast. I'm too tired. I don't like yoghurt unless I have strawberries to put in it. Vegetables are boring. It's cold, so I'm craving fatty food. I like chips. If I exercise I'll get sweaty and then I'll have to shower and change. It might rain. It's too hot. I didn't get enough sleep last night. I feel self-conscious at this weight. Experts disagree on whether this is bad for me, so I can do what I want. I've already ruined today, I'll start tomorrow.
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