Wednesday:
I'm rereading a fantasy book series (The Soldier Son) by Robin Hobb where the main character, a fit and successful young cadet, is cursed by magic so that he becomes hugely obese. He goes through all the physical problems and social scorn that this causes - his fiancée dumps him; his father locks him in his room with little food and then no food, convinced he is cheating on his diet somehow; he is kicked out of the army. He experiences other people's assumption that fat equals lazy, greedy, stupid, and even untrustworthy. But then he meets the culture whose magic made him obese, and there finds that obesity is revered as showing wealth, wisdom and power. Huge shamans have "feeders" who look after them in every way. Such a contrast.
The books have reminded me how much I would love to have an excuse for my obesity. It's not my fault, I'm not just greedy and lazy, I have a previously undiagnosed vitamin deficiency and I can't help it! And I want an easy solution - just take this pill and you'll be cured!
I am aware that some people think that we do already have a good excuse - our obesogenic surroundings and addictive sugar intake. And my defeated response to that is: if I am addicted to sugar and that is why I have cravings etc, then the only way to solve that is to go through horribly difficult withdrawal while continually surrounded by junk food so where does that leave me? In the movie "As Good As It Gets" Jack Nicholson has OCD and does something obnoxious as usual and his psychiatrist objects, and he says: "Dr. Green, how can you diagnose someone as an obsessive compulsive disorder, and then act like I have some choice about barging in here?" My point is, I don't want to believe that dieting is as hard as giving up heroin. If it is, then I guess I can't. I've certainly tried often enough. I want an easier solution than that.
I've been enjoying watching The Biggest Loser. The trainers lived with their family teams for a week (I think five days) and ate what they ate, and as well as feeling very sick the whole time, they all put on a lot of weight - the most was Michelle with 7.6 kilograms. I know a lot of that would be fluid retention from the salt, but still. Wow. Then the contestants had their first workout. One woman in particular was of the "I can't" school of thought, but after lots of pushing she got through it and at the end she burst into emotional tears. She could hardly believe it, but she really could do it after all. There is my lesson for the day. Maybe I can.
Showing posts with label obese. Show all posts
Showing posts with label obese. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 15, 2015
Monday, November 19, 2012
Britain's fattest man
Tuesday:
Well I had four days of feeling too sick to exercise (but not too sick to eat), where even walking the kids to school yesterday took all my energy, but I am feeling mostly better today. Not well enough to run, but well enough to return to normal household duties. So I need to build back to exercise from here. So hard to get back into a routine. I feel guilty for even writing that: oh, my life is soooo difficult. All difficulties come from within myself, but that doesn't mean they don't exist.
I watched a show about Britain's fattest man last night -- possibly the world's fattest. He weighed nearly 57 stone which is around 800 pounds or approaching 400 kg. I think he hadn't been out of bed for eight years and had a carer for 12 hours a day -- four hours of which was just washing him. He needed bariatric surgery but they had a lot of trouble finding an ambulance big enough to get him to the hospital and they had to reinforce all the floors. The doctors had difficulty getting close enough to the middle of his stomach to do the surgery because of all of the folds of fat hanging off the sides of the table. They also had to cut off a huge roll of fat on his inner thigh because it was forcing his legs far apart and stopping him from walking even when he did lose some weight.
In the hospital before the operation they put him on a 500 calorie per day diet for a while. Don't you sometimes have crazy thoughts about doing a diet like that? Just for a while?
The thing about these really enormous bed-ridden people is that someone must be enabling them to get all that food. This guy was eating up to 20,000 calories a day. 20,000! He couldn't get out of bed to cook it or even open the door to home deliveries. I suppose his carer was just paid to do what he wanted, not make his decisions for him.
If it was a family member you loved would you keep giving them 20,000 calories a day, knowing how bad it was for them, letting them make their own choices ... putting another mortgage on your house so you could afford the food and the supersize bed and the carer ... or would you put them on an enforced diet that they couldn't do anything about? Tell them they could have bacon if they walked to the shops and bought it themself?
Obviously I found the show quite disturbing. Maybe because I know what a slippery slope weight gain is. Generally I think "I'm not that bad, sure a bit overweight but not huge" but then I see myself at an unflattering angle or, God forbid, naked; and I realise that I am seriously obese. I know I need to lose weight but I still eat junk food ... just this bit then I will get back on track tomorrow. Or next week. I need this food to make me feel better when I am sick, or sad, or lonely.
I'm not judging this guy. I'm terrified it would be so easy to be him.
Well I had four days of feeling too sick to exercise (but not too sick to eat), where even walking the kids to school yesterday took all my energy, but I am feeling mostly better today. Not well enough to run, but well enough to return to normal household duties. So I need to build back to exercise from here. So hard to get back into a routine. I feel guilty for even writing that: oh, my life is soooo difficult. All difficulties come from within myself, but that doesn't mean they don't exist.
I watched a show about Britain's fattest man last night -- possibly the world's fattest. He weighed nearly 57 stone which is around 800 pounds or approaching 400 kg. I think he hadn't been out of bed for eight years and had a carer for 12 hours a day -- four hours of which was just washing him. He needed bariatric surgery but they had a lot of trouble finding an ambulance big enough to get him to the hospital and they had to reinforce all the floors. The doctors had difficulty getting close enough to the middle of his stomach to do the surgery because of all of the folds of fat hanging off the sides of the table. They also had to cut off a huge roll of fat on his inner thigh because it was forcing his legs far apart and stopping him from walking even when he did lose some weight.
In the hospital before the operation they put him on a 500 calorie per day diet for a while. Don't you sometimes have crazy thoughts about doing a diet like that? Just for a while?
The thing about these really enormous bed-ridden people is that someone must be enabling them to get all that food. This guy was eating up to 20,000 calories a day. 20,000! He couldn't get out of bed to cook it or even open the door to home deliveries. I suppose his carer was just paid to do what he wanted, not make his decisions for him.
If it was a family member you loved would you keep giving them 20,000 calories a day, knowing how bad it was for them, letting them make their own choices ... putting another mortgage on your house so you could afford the food and the supersize bed and the carer ... or would you put them on an enforced diet that they couldn't do anything about? Tell them they could have bacon if they walked to the shops and bought it themself?
Obviously I found the show quite disturbing. Maybe because I know what a slippery slope weight gain is. Generally I think "I'm not that bad, sure a bit overweight but not huge" but then I see myself at an unflattering angle or, God forbid, naked; and I realise that I am seriously obese. I know I need to lose weight but I still eat junk food ... just this bit then I will get back on track tomorrow. Or next week. I need this food to make me feel better when I am sick, or sad, or lonely.
I'm not judging this guy. I'm terrified it would be so easy to be him.
Saturday, August 27, 2011
More sunshine
Sunday:
I am determined that this is the week I am going to start losing weight. It is clear that even lots of exercise isn't enough. Over the past 6 weeks, since I returned to the gym, my weight has fluctuated between 79.2 kg and 80.9 kg; which could be explained just by daily fluctuations. Today I weighed-in at 79.9 kg -- one kilo less than last week but exactly the same as two weeks ago. Obviously I need to rein in my eating if I want to actually lose some fat.
I did formal exercise on five days last week, which I think is pretty great. On Friday I had a rest day, and yesterday I didn't go to the gym but I spent about three hours house-cleaning, which I think was a pretty good work-out. I needed that rest, my body was getting very fatigued. I have my mojo back today.
Today I had a health check, which actually just involved weighing and measuring me. I didn't write it all down (it's all on file at the gym) but I was 79.9 kg and my waist measures 102.5 cm. My BMI is now 34.58, which I am actually happy with -- I am "overweight" not "obese"! [Edit: according to the Wikipedia article on BMI, between 30-35 is still obese, just obese category I not II, also known as seriously obese, which I used to be. Obese III, above 40, would be morbidly obese.]
I got on the treadmill for 10 mins: 92% zone 0, 8% zone 1, 20 calories; and then did a BodyAttack class, which I haven't done before. Some of it was the same as the first half of the 50/50 class that I missed due to my health check. Bascially aerobics, with lots of running and jumping which I had to modify a bit. Stats: 45 mins (I didn't do the last track which was floor work I can't do), 38% zone 0, 45% zone 1, 17% zone 2, 147 calories, 111 average HR, 136 peak HR.
After what seemed like a long time, I checked the clock to see if the class was nearly finished -- I was drenched in sweat and exhausted. The clock said 10.30. What? Only half over? That couldn't be right. I was half convinced that the clock had stopped on 10.30 days ago. But I looked at my HR monitor, and it also said that it had been tracking me for 30 mins. Arg! I dragged myself through the last 20 mins.
A food-related victory -- my husband suggested Kingsley (fried chicken) for our picnic lunch and I said no! Go me. He rarely suggests fast food, it is usually me, and I don't think I have ever resisted before.
We went to the lake and walked for about 20 mins from our parking spot to the Carillon (bell tower) to listen to the recital while we ate our sandwiches and salad. The kids were riding their bikes so it was a fairly brisk walk. Then Tim and I lay on the picnic blanket in the lovely late-winter sun while the kids played around us a bit before we walked back to the car to dump the picnic paraphernalia and the bikes. We walked through the park to the kids playground where I read for a while before we headed home. In all, about an hour walking and lots of much-needed sunlight.
I feel like I've done lots of exercise today and eaten quite healthily (only one cupcake!), and also spent time with family and replenished my vitamin D stores. A lovely day. Now I get to play computer games until it's time to cook roast lamb... mmm...
I am determined that this is the week I am going to start losing weight. It is clear that even lots of exercise isn't enough. Over the past 6 weeks, since I returned to the gym, my weight has fluctuated between 79.2 kg and 80.9 kg; which could be explained just by daily fluctuations. Today I weighed-in at 79.9 kg -- one kilo less than last week but exactly the same as two weeks ago. Obviously I need to rein in my eating if I want to actually lose some fat.
I did formal exercise on five days last week, which I think is pretty great. On Friday I had a rest day, and yesterday I didn't go to the gym but I spent about three hours house-cleaning, which I think was a pretty good work-out. I needed that rest, my body was getting very fatigued. I have my mojo back today.
Today I had a health check, which actually just involved weighing and measuring me. I didn't write it all down (it's all on file at the gym) but I was 79.9 kg and my waist measures 102.5 cm. My BMI is now 34.58, which I am actually happy with -- I am "overweight" not "obese"! [Edit: according to the Wikipedia article on BMI, between 30-35 is still obese, just obese category I not II, also known as seriously obese, which I used to be. Obese III, above 40, would be morbidly obese.]
I got on the treadmill for 10 mins: 92% zone 0, 8% zone 1, 20 calories; and then did a BodyAttack class, which I haven't done before. Some of it was the same as the first half of the 50/50 class that I missed due to my health check. Bascially aerobics, with lots of running and jumping which I had to modify a bit. Stats: 45 mins (I didn't do the last track which was floor work I can't do), 38% zone 0, 45% zone 1, 17% zone 2, 147 calories, 111 average HR, 136 peak HR.
After what seemed like a long time, I checked the clock to see if the class was nearly finished -- I was drenched in sweat and exhausted. The clock said 10.30. What? Only half over? That couldn't be right. I was half convinced that the clock had stopped on 10.30 days ago. But I looked at my HR monitor, and it also said that it had been tracking me for 30 mins. Arg! I dragged myself through the last 20 mins.
A food-related victory -- my husband suggested Kingsley (fried chicken) for our picnic lunch and I said no! Go me. He rarely suggests fast food, it is usually me, and I don't think I have ever resisted before.
We went to the lake and walked for about 20 mins from our parking spot to the Carillon (bell tower) to listen to the recital while we ate our sandwiches and salad. The kids were riding their bikes so it was a fairly brisk walk. Then Tim and I lay on the picnic blanket in the lovely late-winter sun while the kids played around us a bit before we walked back to the car to dump the picnic paraphernalia and the bikes. We walked through the park to the kids playground where I read for a while before we headed home. In all, about an hour walking and lots of much-needed sunlight.
I feel like I've done lots of exercise today and eaten quite healthily (only one cupcake!), and also spent time with family and replenished my vitamin D stores. A lovely day. Now I get to play computer games until it's time to cook roast lamb... mmm...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)