Aquarium and waxworks

Sunday:

Yesterday we had a family day at the Sydney aquarium and our version of Madame Tussaud's waxworks. Ping had a voucher that allowed her to take ten people so we had six adults, my two children and two toddlers. We've been there before not that long ago but it was mostly good, I'll get to the bad in a minute.

The aquarium includes a couple of those big tanks that you can walk under so the fish are swimming all around and over you.

 The waxworks were pretty convincing. Here are the kids hobnobbing with royalty...

And me with Katy Perry. The crown and wig are props, they had lots of those for photos. Now I think about it, I'm a little grossed out that I put on a wig that probably a hundred people have had on their greasy heads every day for year. Euw.

We had lunch at Italian restaurant, I had grilled fish. Still being good! Lots of unhealthy snacks had come out earlier and we also stopped for morning tea, but I said no and told everyone I was having no junk until Christmas. I'd brought some peanuts with me, I don't usually have morning tea these days but I knew we'd have a late lunch since everyone else had morning tea junk, so I was very glad I'd brought the nuts so I could last until then.

As we were walking back to our car after lunch we saw a lot of people staring at this building (tall glass one) and noticed a lot of ropes hanging down from one of those dark alcoves near the top. There was a sign saying this weekend only you had the chance to abseil down 44 floors! The little figure at the top is someone just starting their abseil. How terrifying! I abseiled a few times as a teenager, but nothing like so high as that.

Now for the bad of the day. The lesser was that we drove in to the city, because of delays and trackworks on the train (we almost never drive in due to traffic and difficulty parking). We got there ok but on the way home we got a bit lost and missed our way three times, going round and after about 20 mins literally driving past the parking station we'd started in! Our GPS was a bit confused about whether we were on the street or down in the cross-city tunnel (we were in the tunnel), and we missed a turn-off, and I was trying to navigate with my phone instead, and it was just a frustrating shambles. But we got home safely after rather longer than we'd expected.

The worse thing was that on the way into the city in the morning I started needing to urinate. I've talked before about having a small bladder but the drive was only 45 minutes, I'd gone to the toilet before we left and hadn't drunk much with breakfast, there was no reason for the suddenly urgency. We were on a busy highway with nowhere to stop until we got to our destination. Over 15 minutes or so it became extremely painful, I was getting desperate. By the time we got to our multi-story parking lot I felt that I literally could not wait until we found a toilet somewhere and I just crouched behind the car to pee! Luckily no one was about. Now that is something I never thought I'd do. How embarrassing.

Ultrasound and Sydney

Tuesday:

OMG what a stressful day. In summary, the ultrasound showed nothing, and we're going to Sydney!

I woke this morning feeling depressed. Scared maybe, about what the ultrasound could show? Tired, even though last night wasn't too bad, and struggling to cope. Knowing there was no use trying to lose weight, I've been trying for twenty years with no success whatsoever. Why bother? Yes I know I have sleep apnoea and almost-diabetes, but it's not like I haven't tried. I've tried and tried and tried. And failed and failed and failed. If I can't be thin and happy maybe I should try to be fat and happy instead of fat and miserable.

But of course fat and happy is not so easy. Maybe some people can be healthy at any size, but I am tired and sick a lot of the time and I think obesity is the cause of most/all of that. I can't be happy while I'm sick and exhausted. So I am fat and unhappy, the worst of both sides. Depressed and defeated.

That was how I started the day.

My ultrasound was at 1:20 and I chose not to eat lunch beforehand. I had been comfort snacking all morning anyway. I filled up with water two hours before as required (you need a full bladder for a pelvic ultrasound, which is particularly unpleasant when you're pregnant but never comfortable), then drove to the appointment. Just as I got there I realised I didn't have my doctor referral with me. I started leaking tears. I parked and ran in to tell them but there was a long queue so I ran back out to the car to drive home and get it. Tears turned into uncontrolled sobbing. My bladder was full enough to hurt, I was going to be late for my appointment, I couldn't cope with life, I got every single red light on the way home. I cried all the way. I was just feeling completely overwhelmed. At home, I had to urinate. No way I could keep holding on. I sculled another glass of water, got the referral and drove back, about 25 minutes late. At least I managed to stop crying.

They had already taken in the person scheduled after me. So I had to wait. And wait. My bladder was bursting again, I hadn't had lunch, and I was starting to worry I wouldn't get home before the children finished school. I told the receptionist I had to urinate and she advised me to count to four then stand up which would stop the flow, so that my bladder wouldn't completely empty. By the time my radiologist (?is that the title?) got me from the waiting room, I was uncomfortably full again. And had to endure having my bladder and stomach pressed in various directions. With an ultrasound looking from the outside in, then the inside further in (what fun). Then wait while she went and got her supervisor because she couldn't find one of my ovaries. He couldn't find it either. (The same thing happened two years ago, but it was the opposite ovary they couldn't find. I do have two. I asked if it was my fat getting in the way, but no, they are just very small organs. Volume of one cubic centimetre.) I haven't got the official report yet, but they said they couldn't find anything that would cause my pelvic pain. Which is good news, I think. Maybe the blood test will show something, but the pain has greatly reduced over the past couple of days so hopefully it was a temporary ailment. And finally I got to empty my bladder!

I really wanted to pick up some take-away food for lunch but had to rush home and just made it before the kids, I passed them a couple of doors down. Because of a mis-communication with my friend, who knew I wasn't well, and her husband, who didn't know, two little friends of my children came home with them. I didn't mind really because the children play very well, have no need of supervision at their age, and all I had to do was put out some food and leave them to it. But I really needed a proper lunch, yet didn't want to either eat a meal in front of them all without offering, nor cook something for five people instead of one. I ended up just snacking. Not the best plan, I likely wasn't thinking at my best. I was exhausted and hungry and stressed, a bad combination.

I gratefully snuggled down in my armchair with my book and a lap-rug and then my husband rang. After checking how I was, he announced that the move to Sydney was happening. He doesn't actually have it in writing yet, nor a start date, but apparently all parties have approved. So we're moving! I have said I want it to be any time before Christmas, so I guess 3-4 months. I admit I'm more tired and overwhelmed right now than excited, but it's definitely a good thing. It's what I wanted. Time to start looking at houses again!

What a day.

Oh, one more thing. You remember my rumpus room, that was all finished and we put our stuff back out there on the weekend? (No, the roof hasn't started leaking again.) Well a guy from the parent company that hired all the contractors for our insurance-covered work called this morning and wanted to check out the quality of the job that had been done, and I said he was welcome to. He came and approved the nice new ceiling, and the paint job on the two white walls, but frowned at a little bit of white paint and/or plaster dust that had got on one of the two wooden walls. So now he's sending someone out to re-stain those two walls! They are coming Thursday. Not finished after all. I'll have to get Tim to move some boxes away from the walls a bit. I don't know if they are genuinely concerned about doing the perfect job, or if they are milking the insurance company for everything they can. I should probably tell them that the door sticks a bit! The saga continues.

I just checked and my ultrasound results are already up on the website (so awesome they have that feature! obviously I have a password to log in, it's secure, and I don't have to wait to see my doctor to start looking up the tricky words.) "No evidence of any pelvic mass." Those are the important words. Both this ultrasound and the one two years ago mention probable adenomyosis, which means some of my uterine lining is growing into the muscle wall. It can cause pain during heavy periods but doesn't seem to fit with current symptoms.