Thursday:
Another ordeal over. Pelvic ultrasound. I drank the required water but then in the hour I was supposed to be holding it I went to the toilet twice, then at the clinic when my appointment was 40 minutes late I went twice more (trying not to empty completely). Seemed fine, the radiologist (??) didn't comment.
I've had two other pelvic ultrasounds over the past three years, the other two reports suggested adenomyosis (the uterine lining growing where it shouldn't), this time the technician told me there was a fibroid which is a different sort of growth that looks very similar. I haven't seen an official report yet. Obviously I need to know which it is before progressing with any treatment, I might need an MRI. I see my doctor tomorrow and I think she will refer me to a gynaecologist.
I'm back on my healthy eating today. I know from repeated experience that day three of strict low carbs is when I have my cravings, I have to brace myself for that and not just say "I feel terrible so I'm going to eat whatever I want". If I can get through a few days I'll be fine. Today for the first time in ages I'm going to achieve my water goals. Only two cups to go!
My brother had been trying to contact me for a couple of days. His phone is ancient broken rubbish but since he has no landline or email/internet it's the only way to talk to him. And if I call him it goes straight to voicemail, which I don't know if he ever checks, so I have to wait for him to call me. After lots of calls dropping out without us being able to hear each other, he walked up the hill today to get better reception and I shouted at him over the noise of the trucks on the main road. Probably quite funny, in a way. Anyway, he's coming over on Saturday. He couldn't hear any of my queries as to what time, so I eventually gave up on getting any details. Based on past visits, it will be "for lunch" but arriving long after we've eaten because he is late for everything, and staying through until the kids have gone to bed.
Hmm now there is a Christmas present idea. A phone that actually works. Maybe one he could use internet on if he's somewhere they have free Wi-Fi? But that might be a bit complicated for him. A phone that works would do.
That ongoing saga of Aiden's furniture may finally be resolved, the handyman guy called yesterday to say he'll be here on Saturday, with the correct part, to finish putting together the unfinished chest of drawers we've had since Christmas! I can always hope.
Showing posts with label ultrasound. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ultrasound. Show all posts
Thursday, May 19, 2016
Thursday, May 12, 2016
Forty five: doctor
Thursday:
I had my delayed doctor appointment this morning, turned out we had so much to talk about I had to make two more appointments for next week! Have also scheduled in another ultrasound and some blood tests.
When I walked in to her office I got a bit confused, surely this wasn't the same lady I'd seen a couple of times since moving here? Young and female, but otherwise quite different. Turns out they rotate through new female registrars (which I believe means a fully qualified but junior doctor still in a sort of intern period) every six months in this clinic. I chose this medical clinic because it is so close to our house and also near the shops so it's very convenient. It turns out it bulk bills (ie completely free, in Australia unless you're a pensioner you usually pay part and the government pays part) which is nice but maybe that is because they are junior doctors? And Dr Miller asked me if I had a regular GP (general practitioner, ie family doctor) elsewhere which I found a bit confusing (she said it's fine I don't). I queried her about whether I'd mistaken the nature of the medical clinic, but no, she said some people had a GP near work, for example, as well as this one.
I've been happy with both the female doctors I've seen but I'm a bit worried about continuity of care if they change every six months. And always inexperienced. But I guess they have to get experience somewhere, and at least they're up to date! The older male doctor doesn't seem to change, but my husband didn't really like him much. So we might end up finding another clinic at some point. See how it goes.
Even though I had a pelvic ultrasound only nine months ago, Dr Miller wants me to have another one and some more blood tests since the pain has returned. I've got that booked in for Monday. I complained about how horrible having an ultra-full bladder is and how I cried last time from the pain, she told me that only a man with an enlarged prostate can hold a litre of water, to ignore the stupid instructions and just have some liquid, not as much as they say. Which was a huge relief. Then I'm seeing her again on Tuesday for a physical check up that we didn't have time for today. Then on Wednesday I've got my blood tests and glucose tolerance test, where you drink nasty glucose liquid and they see if you go into a diabetic coma. (Or at least if your blood sugar spikes.) The last time I had one in Canberra I was surprised to find I didn't need to carb load for three days, they said they don't do that anymore as it's pointless. But when I booked in this place they said I do need to. I guess they are behind the times here. I can't pretend I'm not looking forward to stuffing myself with carbohydrates for three days, after trying to stick to low carb most of this year! The last test result was very close to a diabetes diagnosis, so I'm hoping my diet and weight loss this year has improved my glucose tolerance. Finally on Thursday back to Dr Miller again to talk about my perimenopausal symptoms including depression. Or Tues and Thurs might be the other way around.
Hmm, just realised both tests I'm going for have outdated and unpleasant or unhealthy preparations (drinking a huge amount of water, eating a huge amount of carbs) which other specialists say aren't necessary. Makes you wonder.
It is my 14th Wedding Anniversary today. That's about 28 times longer than a Hollywood marriage. We went out to a tapas restaurant in the evening. We originally tried to get a babysitter but ended up taking the kids with us. They are lovely anyway, and definitely part of this marriage! The food was really nice, all little share plates. My favourite was crispy pork belly on cauliflower purée. Yum. I shared a (full size) dessert with Jasmine.
Feeling very full and sleepy now.
I had my delayed doctor appointment this morning, turned out we had so much to talk about I had to make two more appointments for next week! Have also scheduled in another ultrasound and some blood tests.
When I walked in to her office I got a bit confused, surely this wasn't the same lady I'd seen a couple of times since moving here? Young and female, but otherwise quite different. Turns out they rotate through new female registrars (which I believe means a fully qualified but junior doctor still in a sort of intern period) every six months in this clinic. I chose this medical clinic because it is so close to our house and also near the shops so it's very convenient. It turns out it bulk bills (ie completely free, in Australia unless you're a pensioner you usually pay part and the government pays part) which is nice but maybe that is because they are junior doctors? And Dr Miller asked me if I had a regular GP (general practitioner, ie family doctor) elsewhere which I found a bit confusing (she said it's fine I don't). I queried her about whether I'd mistaken the nature of the medical clinic, but no, she said some people had a GP near work, for example, as well as this one.
I've been happy with both the female doctors I've seen but I'm a bit worried about continuity of care if they change every six months. And always inexperienced. But I guess they have to get experience somewhere, and at least they're up to date! The older male doctor doesn't seem to change, but my husband didn't really like him much. So we might end up finding another clinic at some point. See how it goes.
Even though I had a pelvic ultrasound only nine months ago, Dr Miller wants me to have another one and some more blood tests since the pain has returned. I've got that booked in for Monday. I complained about how horrible having an ultra-full bladder is and how I cried last time from the pain, she told me that only a man with an enlarged prostate can hold a litre of water, to ignore the stupid instructions and just have some liquid, not as much as they say. Which was a huge relief. Then I'm seeing her again on Tuesday for a physical check up that we didn't have time for today. Then on Wednesday I've got my blood tests and glucose tolerance test, where you drink nasty glucose liquid and they see if you go into a diabetic coma. (Or at least if your blood sugar spikes.) The last time I had one in Canberra I was surprised to find I didn't need to carb load for three days, they said they don't do that anymore as it's pointless. But when I booked in this place they said I do need to. I guess they are behind the times here. I can't pretend I'm not looking forward to stuffing myself with carbohydrates for three days, after trying to stick to low carb most of this year! The last test result was very close to a diabetes diagnosis, so I'm hoping my diet and weight loss this year has improved my glucose tolerance. Finally on Thursday back to Dr Miller again to talk about my perimenopausal symptoms including depression. Or Tues and Thurs might be the other way around.
Hmm, just realised both tests I'm going for have outdated and unpleasant or unhealthy preparations (drinking a huge amount of water, eating a huge amount of carbs) which other specialists say aren't necessary. Makes you wonder.
It is my 14th Wedding Anniversary today. That's about 28 times longer than a Hollywood marriage. We went out to a tapas restaurant in the evening. We originally tried to get a babysitter but ended up taking the kids with us. They are lovely anyway, and definitely part of this marriage! The food was really nice, all little share plates. My favourite was crispy pork belly on cauliflower purée. Yum. I shared a (full size) dessert with Jasmine.
Feeling very full and sleepy now.
Tuesday, August 11, 2015
Ultrasound and Sydney
Tuesday:
OMG what a stressful day. In summary, the ultrasound showed nothing, and we're going to Sydney!
I woke this morning feeling depressed. Scared maybe, about what the ultrasound could show? Tired, even though last night wasn't too bad, and struggling to cope. Knowing there was no use trying to lose weight, I've been trying for twenty years with no success whatsoever. Why bother? Yes I know I have sleep apnoea and almost-diabetes, but it's not like I haven't tried. I've tried and tried and tried. And failed and failed and failed. If I can't be thin and happy maybe I should try to be fat and happy instead of fat and miserable.
But of course fat and happy is not so easy. Maybe some people can be healthy at any size, but I am tired and sick a lot of the time and I think obesity is the cause of most/all of that. I can't be happy while I'm sick and exhausted. So I am fat and unhappy, the worst of both sides. Depressed and defeated.
That was how I started the day.
My ultrasound was at 1:20 and I chose not to eat lunch beforehand. I had been comfort snacking all morning anyway. I filled up with water two hours before as required (you need a full bladder for a pelvic ultrasound, which is particularly unpleasant when you're pregnant but never comfortable), then drove to the appointment. Just as I got there I realised I didn't have my doctor referral with me. I started leaking tears. I parked and ran in to tell them but there was a long queue so I ran back out to the car to drive home and get it. Tears turned into uncontrolled sobbing. My bladder was full enough to hurt, I was going to be late for my appointment, I couldn't cope with life, I got every single red light on the way home. I cried all the way. I was just feeling completely overwhelmed. At home, I had to urinate. No way I could keep holding on. I sculled another glass of water, got the referral and drove back, about 25 minutes late. At least I managed to stop crying.
They had already taken in the person scheduled after me. So I had to wait. And wait. My bladder was bursting again, I hadn't had lunch, and I was starting to worry I wouldn't get home before the children finished school. I told the receptionist I had to urinate and she advised me to count to four then stand up which would stop the flow, so that my bladder wouldn't completely empty. By the time my radiologist (?is that the title?) got me from the waiting room, I was uncomfortably full again. And had to endure having my bladder and stomach pressed in various directions. With an ultrasound looking from the outside in, then the inside further in (what fun). Then wait while she went and got her supervisor because she couldn't find one of my ovaries. He couldn't find it either. (The same thing happened two years ago, but it was the opposite ovary they couldn't find. I do have two. I asked if it was my fat getting in the way, but no, they are just very small organs. Volume of one cubic centimetre.) I haven't got the official report yet, but they said they couldn't find anything that would cause my pelvic pain. Which is good news, I think. Maybe the blood test will show something, but the pain has greatly reduced over the past couple of days so hopefully it was a temporary ailment. And finally I got to empty my bladder!
I really wanted to pick up some take-away food for lunch but had to rush home and just made it before the kids, I passed them a couple of doors down. Because of a mis-communication with my friend, who knew I wasn't well, and her husband, who didn't know, two little friends of my children came home with them. I didn't mind really because the children play very well, have no need of supervision at their age, and all I had to do was put out some food and leave them to it. But I really needed a proper lunch, yet didn't want to either eat a meal in front of them all without offering, nor cook something for five people instead of one. I ended up just snacking. Not the best plan, I likely wasn't thinking at my best. I was exhausted and hungry and stressed, a bad combination.
I gratefully snuggled down in my armchair with my book and a lap-rug and then my husband rang. After checking how I was, he announced that the move to Sydney was happening. He doesn't actually have it in writing yet, nor a start date, but apparently all parties have approved. So we're moving! I have said I want it to be any time before Christmas, so I guess 3-4 months. I admit I'm more tired and overwhelmed right now than excited, but it's definitely a good thing. It's what I wanted. Time to start looking at houses again!
What a day.
Oh, one more thing. You remember my rumpus room, that was all finished and we put our stuff back out there on the weekend? (No, the roof hasn't started leaking again.) Well a guy from the parent company that hired all the contractors for our insurance-covered work called this morning and wanted to check out the quality of the job that had been done, and I said he was welcome to. He came and approved the nice new ceiling, and the paint job on the two white walls, but frowned at a little bit of white paint and/or plaster dust that had got on one of the two wooden walls. So now he's sending someone out to re-stain those two walls! They are coming Thursday. Not finished after all. I'll have to get Tim to move some boxes away from the walls a bit. I don't know if they are genuinely concerned about doing the perfect job, or if they are milking the insurance company for everything they can. I should probably tell them that the door sticks a bit! The saga continues.
I just checked and my ultrasound results are already up on the website (so awesome they have that feature! obviously I have a password to log in, it's secure, and I don't have to wait to see my doctor to start looking up the tricky words.) "No evidence of any pelvic mass." Those are the important words. Both this ultrasound and the one two years ago mention probable adenomyosis, which means some of my uterine lining is growing into the muscle wall. It can cause pain during heavy periods but doesn't seem to fit with current symptoms.
OMG what a stressful day. In summary, the ultrasound showed nothing, and we're going to Sydney!
I woke this morning feeling depressed. Scared maybe, about what the ultrasound could show? Tired, even though last night wasn't too bad, and struggling to cope. Knowing there was no use trying to lose weight, I've been trying for twenty years with no success whatsoever. Why bother? Yes I know I have sleep apnoea and almost-diabetes, but it's not like I haven't tried. I've tried and tried and tried. And failed and failed and failed. If I can't be thin and happy maybe I should try to be fat and happy instead of fat and miserable.
But of course fat and happy is not so easy. Maybe some people can be healthy at any size, but I am tired and sick a lot of the time and I think obesity is the cause of most/all of that. I can't be happy while I'm sick and exhausted. So I am fat and unhappy, the worst of both sides. Depressed and defeated.
That was how I started the day.
My ultrasound was at 1:20 and I chose not to eat lunch beforehand. I had been comfort snacking all morning anyway. I filled up with water two hours before as required (you need a full bladder for a pelvic ultrasound, which is particularly unpleasant when you're pregnant but never comfortable), then drove to the appointment. Just as I got there I realised I didn't have my doctor referral with me. I started leaking tears. I parked and ran in to tell them but there was a long queue so I ran back out to the car to drive home and get it. Tears turned into uncontrolled sobbing. My bladder was full enough to hurt, I was going to be late for my appointment, I couldn't cope with life, I got every single red light on the way home. I cried all the way. I was just feeling completely overwhelmed. At home, I had to urinate. No way I could keep holding on. I sculled another glass of water, got the referral and drove back, about 25 minutes late. At least I managed to stop crying.
They had already taken in the person scheduled after me. So I had to wait. And wait. My bladder was bursting again, I hadn't had lunch, and I was starting to worry I wouldn't get home before the children finished school. I told the receptionist I had to urinate and she advised me to count to four then stand up which would stop the flow, so that my bladder wouldn't completely empty. By the time my radiologist (?is that the title?) got me from the waiting room, I was uncomfortably full again. And had to endure having my bladder and stomach pressed in various directions. With an ultrasound looking from the outside in, then the inside further in (what fun). Then wait while she went and got her supervisor because she couldn't find one of my ovaries. He couldn't find it either. (The same thing happened two years ago, but it was the opposite ovary they couldn't find. I do have two. I asked if it was my fat getting in the way, but no, they are just very small organs. Volume of one cubic centimetre.) I haven't got the official report yet, but they said they couldn't find anything that would cause my pelvic pain. Which is good news, I think. Maybe the blood test will show something, but the pain has greatly reduced over the past couple of days so hopefully it was a temporary ailment. And finally I got to empty my bladder!
I really wanted to pick up some take-away food for lunch but had to rush home and just made it before the kids, I passed them a couple of doors down. Because of a mis-communication with my friend, who knew I wasn't well, and her husband, who didn't know, two little friends of my children came home with them. I didn't mind really because the children play very well, have no need of supervision at their age, and all I had to do was put out some food and leave them to it. But I really needed a proper lunch, yet didn't want to either eat a meal in front of them all without offering, nor cook something for five people instead of one. I ended up just snacking. Not the best plan, I likely wasn't thinking at my best. I was exhausted and hungry and stressed, a bad combination.
I gratefully snuggled down in my armchair with my book and a lap-rug and then my husband rang. After checking how I was, he announced that the move to Sydney was happening. He doesn't actually have it in writing yet, nor a start date, but apparently all parties have approved. So we're moving! I have said I want it to be any time before Christmas, so I guess 3-4 months. I admit I'm more tired and overwhelmed right now than excited, but it's definitely a good thing. It's what I wanted. Time to start looking at houses again!
What a day.
Oh, one more thing. You remember my rumpus room, that was all finished and we put our stuff back out there on the weekend? (No, the roof hasn't started leaking again.) Well a guy from the parent company that hired all the contractors for our insurance-covered work called this morning and wanted to check out the quality of the job that had been done, and I said he was welcome to. He came and approved the nice new ceiling, and the paint job on the two white walls, but frowned at a little bit of white paint and/or plaster dust that had got on one of the two wooden walls. So now he's sending someone out to re-stain those two walls! They are coming Thursday. Not finished after all. I'll have to get Tim to move some boxes away from the walls a bit. I don't know if they are genuinely concerned about doing the perfect job, or if they are milking the insurance company for everything they can. I should probably tell them that the door sticks a bit! The saga continues.
I just checked and my ultrasound results are already up on the website (so awesome they have that feature! obviously I have a password to log in, it's secure, and I don't have to wait to see my doctor to start looking up the tricky words.) "No evidence of any pelvic mass." Those are the important words. Both this ultrasound and the one two years ago mention probable adenomyosis, which means some of my uterine lining is growing into the muscle wall. It can cause pain during heavy periods but doesn't seem to fit with current symptoms.
Wednesday, May 6, 2015
Bad news on the shoulder
Thursday:
I had my x-ray and ultrasound this morning on my left shoulder. I don't have the official results yet, but I talked to the woman doing the ultrasound quite a bit. She said I had no bursitis (inflammation) and therefore didn't need a cortisone injection. In fact she couldn't see anything unusual going on. Just the tear that I did more than four years ago that we already knew about.
I got some clarification on that. And it turns out that tears don't heal. Once your tendon tears off your bone, it does not repair itself.
If I was ever told that before, I forgot or blocked it out. I even went back and read my blog posts around that time and couldn't find any indication that I knew it, although it is not explicit either way. But I'm sure I was always expecting it to heal eventually.
So it was a bit of a blow.
The advice of the ultrasound lady (and my doctor on Tuesday) is that I go to physiotherapy and do regular mobility exercises, as I did when I first had the tear, because I need to encourage the muscles around my shoulder to take over the jobs the tendon was doing. It will give me more mobility, although not help with pain (I think).
It is certainly much better than when I originally injured it, I was in a lot of pain then and could hardly lift my arm. A year and a half after that, 14 June 2012, my blog mentions satisfaction that I could now get my arm far enough behind my back that I could just touch the small of my back with my thumb. That is where I still am now. So it healed a bit or the muscles took over or whatever, and I had an injection in Feb 2011 to deal with inflammation and pain, but then it got to that point and no further.
I am finding it difficult news to cope with. I've had so much pain and stiffness and therapy in both my shoulders now (the right shoulder was occupational overuse, I had to leave work because of it and still can't do full-time work 15 years later). Maybe I have some basic weakness in that part of my body.
I did turn to food for comfort. I know that is a very bad habit of mine.
Our power was turned off in the afternoon for some planned maintenance. No heat, no computer or TV, no kettle for tea! As I was feeling pretty miserable, I snuggled down in bed for a hour for a "woe is me" session.
I'll be ok. Just sad today.
I had my x-ray and ultrasound this morning on my left shoulder. I don't have the official results yet, but I talked to the woman doing the ultrasound quite a bit. She said I had no bursitis (inflammation) and therefore didn't need a cortisone injection. In fact she couldn't see anything unusual going on. Just the tear that I did more than four years ago that we already knew about.
I got some clarification on that. And it turns out that tears don't heal. Once your tendon tears off your bone, it does not repair itself.
If I was ever told that before, I forgot or blocked it out. I even went back and read my blog posts around that time and couldn't find any indication that I knew it, although it is not explicit either way. But I'm sure I was always expecting it to heal eventually.
So it was a bit of a blow.
The advice of the ultrasound lady (and my doctor on Tuesday) is that I go to physiotherapy and do regular mobility exercises, as I did when I first had the tear, because I need to encourage the muscles around my shoulder to take over the jobs the tendon was doing. It will give me more mobility, although not help with pain (I think).
It is certainly much better than when I originally injured it, I was in a lot of pain then and could hardly lift my arm. A year and a half after that, 14 June 2012, my blog mentions satisfaction that I could now get my arm far enough behind my back that I could just touch the small of my back with my thumb. That is where I still am now. So it healed a bit or the muscles took over or whatever, and I had an injection in Feb 2011 to deal with inflammation and pain, but then it got to that point and no further.
I am finding it difficult news to cope with. I've had so much pain and stiffness and therapy in both my shoulders now (the right shoulder was occupational overuse, I had to leave work because of it and still can't do full-time work 15 years later). Maybe I have some basic weakness in that part of my body.
I did turn to food for comfort. I know that is a very bad habit of mine.
Our power was turned off in the afternoon for some planned maintenance. No heat, no computer or TV, no kettle for tea! As I was feeling pretty miserable, I snuggled down in bed for a hour for a "woe is me" session.
I'll be ok. Just sad today.
Tuesday, May 5, 2015
Shoulder
Tuesday:
I saw my doctor this morning about continuing pain and stiffness in my left shoulder, more than four years since the original tendon tear. She gave me a referral to x-ray (for arthritis) and ultrasound (for bursitis) with possible steroid injection, some mobility exercises and a suggestion to see a physio. Since I was able to book in the tests for the day after tomorrow, I'll wait for results before finding a physio. That sounds like things are moving forward, but actually my doctor basically said that as I am over 40 I've got to expect this kind of thing. Tears and stiffness and pain are normal for me now and I'll probably just have to put up with it and manage things with regular mobility exercises and anti inflammatory/pain killing medication as needed. Surgery probably wouldn't help. I am not yet prepared to give up on getting back to real health. I'll see what these tests say as a first step so I know what is actually going on, but I am not just going to accept that I'm stuck with this. I put up with it for four and a half years assuming it would eventually get better on its own, it seems that isn't going to happen so I need to be more proactive about it. It really does affect my life too much.
I did the grocery shopping and went home, then got a text that my glasses were ready to be picked up. I also had a library book that needed to be returned today (or else 25 cents per day fine!). I decided to walk the 5 km round trip to do my two errands. I just had time before school finished, and was pretty tired by the end. I had to walk briskly, especially after I had to wait ages at the optometrist. I like my new glasses and everyone noticed them. Oh, except my husband. (He did eventually). They are quite differ from the old ones, which were pale pink. These are purple. Yes, yes, I am overdoing the purple a bit. It's a good colour for winter though.
After school we went to a friend's house, I took grapes and she put out some yummy savoury crackers and chocolate biscuits. At first I ate nothing, just had my tea, but I got really hungry so I had some grapes. It was a low carb day today but I am fine with my choice. I had to sit and watch my friend and our four kids and their dog all stuffing themselves! Sticking to grapes was commendable, I think! Bending with the winds of circumstance, not breaking. (I was in a real rush after my walk and didn't have time to organise some kind of protein + fat snack for myself that would be enough to share with everyone.)
Fish and salad for dinner. I had a very clean eating day today. My renewed diet vigour is partly because the 48 hour weigh-out window for month three of my six month dietbet has started. I have my timestamp word SPINACH on a flashcard in front of me here. You weigh yourself with the word in the photo so they know it was taken on the right day. The cumulative weight loss needed for this weigh-out is 8% -- there is no way I'll make that. I lost weight in the first month but regained it all in the second, so losing all that plus more was near impossible. My personal goal for this month is 4% of my starting weight, which will get me back on the right track towards catching up by the end of the six months for the final weigh-out. It is still a big ask but I am hopeful. I ate well and exercised today and will do again tomorrow, who knows what Thursday morning's scale will bring?
Report card:
Diet: Great.
Exercise: Great. Over 12,000 steps.
Water: Excellent.
Sleep: Good.
Mental health: Good.
I saw my doctor this morning about continuing pain and stiffness in my left shoulder, more than four years since the original tendon tear. She gave me a referral to x-ray (for arthritis) and ultrasound (for bursitis) with possible steroid injection, some mobility exercises and a suggestion to see a physio. Since I was able to book in the tests for the day after tomorrow, I'll wait for results before finding a physio. That sounds like things are moving forward, but actually my doctor basically said that as I am over 40 I've got to expect this kind of thing. Tears and stiffness and pain are normal for me now and I'll probably just have to put up with it and manage things with regular mobility exercises and anti inflammatory/pain killing medication as needed. Surgery probably wouldn't help. I am not yet prepared to give up on getting back to real health. I'll see what these tests say as a first step so I know what is actually going on, but I am not just going to accept that I'm stuck with this. I put up with it for four and a half years assuming it would eventually get better on its own, it seems that isn't going to happen so I need to be more proactive about it. It really does affect my life too much.
I did the grocery shopping and went home, then got a text that my glasses were ready to be picked up. I also had a library book that needed to be returned today (or else 25 cents per day fine!). I decided to walk the 5 km round trip to do my two errands. I just had time before school finished, and was pretty tired by the end. I had to walk briskly, especially after I had to wait ages at the optometrist. I like my new glasses and everyone noticed them. Oh, except my husband. (He did eventually). They are quite differ from the old ones, which were pale pink. These are purple. Yes, yes, I am overdoing the purple a bit. It's a good colour for winter though.
After school we went to a friend's house, I took grapes and she put out some yummy savoury crackers and chocolate biscuits. At first I ate nothing, just had my tea, but I got really hungry so I had some grapes. It was a low carb day today but I am fine with my choice. I had to sit and watch my friend and our four kids and their dog all stuffing themselves! Sticking to grapes was commendable, I think! Bending with the winds of circumstance, not breaking. (I was in a real rush after my walk and didn't have time to organise some kind of protein + fat snack for myself that would be enough to share with everyone.)
Fish and salad for dinner. I had a very clean eating day today. My renewed diet vigour is partly because the 48 hour weigh-out window for month three of my six month dietbet has started. I have my timestamp word SPINACH on a flashcard in front of me here. You weigh yourself with the word in the photo so they know it was taken on the right day. The cumulative weight loss needed for this weigh-out is 8% -- there is no way I'll make that. I lost weight in the first month but regained it all in the second, so losing all that plus more was near impossible. My personal goal for this month is 4% of my starting weight, which will get me back on the right track towards catching up by the end of the six months for the final weigh-out. It is still a big ask but I am hopeful. I ate well and exercised today and will do again tomorrow, who knows what Thursday morning's scale will bring?
Report card:
Diet: Great.
Exercise: Great. Over 12,000 steps.
Water: Excellent.
Sleep: Good.
Mental health: Good.
Thursday, August 15, 2013
Adenomyosis
Friday:
I was able to look up my pelvic ultrasound results online today. I haven't seen my doctor yet but I'm as capable as reading the report, finding definitions for the terms, and then searching the internet for things to alarm me as anyone.
Turns out I have a small submucosal echogenic nodule which suggests adenomyosis (directly from the report). This means some of the lining of my uterus has grown into the muscular wall, causing heavy and irregular periods and the between-period bleeding. It is not a dangerous condition but in some people can be extremely painful, to the extent that you feel like you are in the last stages of giving birth. There are some treatments (mainly to control the pain) but the only cure is a hysterectomy. The causes are unclear, but may be related to too much estrogen or trauma (like during pregnancy or a C-section). It is most common in women of my age - between child bearing and menopause. It generally goes away when you hit menopause.
Since I only have a small nodule and annoying symptoms but very little pain, I am not planning to have a hysterectomy. One thing I have had trouble finding on the internet is the progression (if any) of the condition. Will the nodule stay small, or will it grow and get worse? Over the last couple of years I've gone from light spotting between periods to quite prolonged and heavy flow, so that would indicate it is gradually getting worse.
Things I have been attributing to possible peri-menopause and/or just being overweight and unhealthy may have been influenced by this. Feeling run down, depressed, fuzzy brain, PMS, night sweats, clots and my uneven periods even though I am on the pill (sorry if that is TMI, but if you've read this far you're not too squeamish). It can also cause migraines, enlarged uterus (which I don't have), really bad cramps, and rapid weight gain, among other things.
Recommendations include eating mainly unprocessed food, getting enough sleep, hormone-balancing drugs and anti-inflammitories.
Obviously I need to talk to my doctor soon.
I was able to look up my pelvic ultrasound results online today. I haven't seen my doctor yet but I'm as capable as reading the report, finding definitions for the terms, and then searching the internet for things to alarm me as anyone.
Turns out I have a small submucosal echogenic nodule which suggests adenomyosis (directly from the report). This means some of the lining of my uterus has grown into the muscular wall, causing heavy and irregular periods and the between-period bleeding. It is not a dangerous condition but in some people can be extremely painful, to the extent that you feel like you are in the last stages of giving birth. There are some treatments (mainly to control the pain) but the only cure is a hysterectomy. The causes are unclear, but may be related to too much estrogen or trauma (like during pregnancy or a C-section). It is most common in women of my age - between child bearing and menopause. It generally goes away when you hit menopause.
Since I only have a small nodule and annoying symptoms but very little pain, I am not planning to have a hysterectomy. One thing I have had trouble finding on the internet is the progression (if any) of the condition. Will the nodule stay small, or will it grow and get worse? Over the last couple of years I've gone from light spotting between periods to quite prolonged and heavy flow, so that would indicate it is gradually getting worse.
Things I have been attributing to possible peri-menopause and/or just being overweight and unhealthy may have been influenced by this. Feeling run down, depressed, fuzzy brain, PMS, night sweats, clots and my uneven periods even though I am on the pill (sorry if that is TMI, but if you've read this far you're not too squeamish). It can also cause migraines, enlarged uterus (which I don't have), really bad cramps, and rapid weight gain, among other things.
Recommendations include eating mainly unprocessed food, getting enough sleep, hormone-balancing drugs and anti-inflammitories.
Obviously I need to talk to my doctor soon.
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
Nudity and other stuff
Wednesday:
I had my pelvic ultrasound today. I was really nervous about having to drink a lot and then not wee for 2 hours. I had to do that for ultrasounds when pregnant and remember how painful it was. One time in particular I ended up crying on the toilet afterwards, in pain but unable to unclench enough to wee.
But it turns out it's not so bad when you don't have a baby sitting on your bladder. I'm not saying it was fun or anything, but not as bad as I was fearing. Actually I think the most uncomfortable bit was when he was pressing down on my side because my postural muscles are always so tender!
The radiologist didn't rush me off to hospital or make any worried noises so I assume there was nothing bad. I'll go see my doctor soon to check.
I was watching TV the other night, and it went straight from one of those Next Top Model reality shows to a documentary about a guy who takes photos of ordinary nude people. He was up to volume 4, featuring men and women from Las Vegas, and ended up with an exhibition and a book with pairs of photos, the same person dressed and then naked. And showed the subjects looking at their own photos. I'd just been watching scantily-clad model hopefuls - tall young slender girls - and the contrast to normal people was weird. Lots of pudgy tummies and big thighs and breasts small or fake balloons or saggy; thin people and short people and old people. I don't usually think much about the influence of the media on women's (and men's) body image but it is true that I generally think of TV people as fairly normal. Yet they are nowhere near "average" in body shape or general attractiveness.
Sure we should all strive to be healthy and strong, but most of us are still never going to look like TV people. No matter how hard I tried, I could never at any point of my life have looked like those models. I'm about 10 inches too short, for a start.
My perception of normal is skewed by what I see on TV even though I see real people every day too.
I'm not going anywhere in particular with this. Just musing.
I had my pelvic ultrasound today. I was really nervous about having to drink a lot and then not wee for 2 hours. I had to do that for ultrasounds when pregnant and remember how painful it was. One time in particular I ended up crying on the toilet afterwards, in pain but unable to unclench enough to wee.
But it turns out it's not so bad when you don't have a baby sitting on your bladder. I'm not saying it was fun or anything, but not as bad as I was fearing. Actually I think the most uncomfortable bit was when he was pressing down on my side because my postural muscles are always so tender!
The radiologist didn't rush me off to hospital or make any worried noises so I assume there was nothing bad. I'll go see my doctor soon to check.
I was watching TV the other night, and it went straight from one of those Next Top Model reality shows to a documentary about a guy who takes photos of ordinary nude people. He was up to volume 4, featuring men and women from Las Vegas, and ended up with an exhibition and a book with pairs of photos, the same person dressed and then naked. And showed the subjects looking at their own photos. I'd just been watching scantily-clad model hopefuls - tall young slender girls - and the contrast to normal people was weird. Lots of pudgy tummies and big thighs and breasts small or fake balloons or saggy; thin people and short people and old people. I don't usually think much about the influence of the media on women's (and men's) body image but it is true that I generally think of TV people as fairly normal. Yet they are nowhere near "average" in body shape or general attractiveness.
Sure we should all strive to be healthy and strong, but most of us are still never going to look like TV people. No matter how hard I tried, I could never at any point of my life have looked like those models. I'm about 10 inches too short, for a start.
My perception of normal is skewed by what I see on TV even though I see real people every day too.
I'm not going anywhere in particular with this. Just musing.
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