Goodbye old library

Saturday:

So I turned 49 the other day, one year until 50. This year I am determined to focus on my health. Sleep. Exercise. More fruit and vegetables. Water. I have made a start on some of these things.

I had my last day at my old workplace yesterday. We shared a lunch and everyone seemed sad to see me go. It wasn't a bad job, and I liked the other staff. I have a week off now (it's school holidays, Tim stayed home with the kids the first week) then I start at my new workplace. Same job, different location. It's an improvement in every way - closer, higher pay, less busy etc - except that it has less job security.

I've been having a hard time the last few weeks. I've been in peri-menopause for years (it seems like I've been saying "at least five years" for a long time) and my main symptom is night sweats. At the moment it's nearly every night. I wake up all sweaty - and then get very cold because it's the middle of winter and being in damp pyjamas is no joke - and then I rarely get back to sleep. So I am utterly exhausted. Dragging myself through the days, going to bed before the kids at night. I'll be seeing my gyno but I couldn't get an appointment for another six weeks. I plan to take a lot of naps while I've got this time off, and also try some vitamin/herbal medicine.

Tablets

Friday:

Well I don't know if it's the tablets I've been taking or coincidence (a bit early to tell, it's only been a few days) but I haven't had any night sweats or other symptoms since I've been taking them. It's very hot here so I have certainly been sweating, but night sweats and daytime hot flushes feel very different to normal "being too hot". And no depression. So I'm certainly going to keep taking them, despite the nasty taste! I've been getting a lot more done, too.

Jasmine is safe home from camp. The only thing she forgot was a hat, but that was an important omission. Her face got sunburned both days, even with lots of sunscreen on. But she had a great time.

Still trying

Monday:

I didn't manage to stick to any kind of diet plan last week and didn't do any exercise, haven't been drinking enough water or meditating or getting any decent sleep, so it is perhaps a little surprising that my weight went down a little, to 81.4 which is back to where I was 4 weeks ago when I started my February dietbet (or rather that was 81.3, close enough). I think my highest was 82.3 kg in between so not really much change. On the good side, that means that my "bad" eating is maintenance at this weight, and the weight I lost in January was "real" weight (not just water loss). On the down side, I haven't made any progress this month.

I am really struggling at the moment with this peri-menopause thing. I've had intermittent symptoms for a couple of years now, but it has suddenly accelerated. Night sweats most nights, often more than once. Hot flushes during the day a couple of times, which I never had before. Itchy palms and wrists (I didn't even realise that was a menopause thing, but apparently it is). Mood swings, generally down into depression. Many days I struggle to find motivation to do anything at all, even things I enjoy. I don't want to go on hormone replacement because I'm worried about the potential health risks, but today I bought some over-the-counter stuff which I'll try. The pharmacist suggested it could be up to a month before I see results, which isn't great, but I'll still be here in a month either way so I might as well start now!

They taste horrible, and are huge. Very hard to swallow.

Also, a minor but very annoying thing, that wart on the sole of my foot came back within a couple of days so I guess I didn't kill it all. I'm still treating it but in the meantime it is uncomfortable to walk on. And gross.

However, I felt mostly well and motivated today and ate well, apart from a mid-afternoon meal-sized snack. Still here. Still trying.