Monday:
Today is not going well. It started with an early morning because Aiden has his drumming lesson before school. He said he wasn't feeling well but I bundled him off anyway because I don't trust his judgement. Tim's car wouldn't start so I drove him to the station, through heavier than usual traffic. Someone tried to call me while I was driving but I couldn't answer it in time via the car system, and my phone didn't record who it was for some reason. I was worried it was Aiden's school. I got home and tried to get studying when the school called to say Aiden was sick and could I pick him up. Bad mother.
So I got him home and in bed, tiny bit of study, then time to watch Game on Thrones which is on at 11:00am here. But for some reason didn't start until 11:30 today which stressed me a lot as I wasn't sure if I was doing something wrong - we only get Foxtel for GoT so I'm not used to it. But it finally came on, I enjoyed watching it.
I'd planned to go grocery shopping today but that was out, so I 'made' some packet soup for us, Aiden was well enough to get up and have some. Soon after I started to feel sick. I assume from the same thing Aiden has, not the soup.
And I'm having trouble accessing all my study units online, not that I'm able to concentrate enough to learn anything.
So I'm feeling yuck, it's now pouring rain outside, and this afternoon I'll be expected to: drive Jasmine to a big further-away shopping centre to buy fabric for her sewing class tomorrow that we forgot to shop for over the past two weeks, get Jasmine to and from dance class, create dinner with no groceries, or find takeaway that can be tolerated by two upset tummies, and eventually pick up Tim from the station. Urg. One of those days I'd love to give up and go to bed.
On the weekend Tim was called in to work all day Saturday and didn't get home until after midnight. On Sunday we cleaned and had family over for lunch, this time my relatives from the country who I only see once a year or so now. It was nice to see my aunt and uncle, but we spent an hour looking at photos of people I don't know, hideous craftwork by people I don't know, the front and back porches and driveways of people I don't know, trees, a seagull, scoreboards of a bowls match my uncle officiated at, pictures of my uncle from all angles just before he had his hair cut, more people I don't know, pictures of their car parked outside their house, outside someone else's house, and at a park. At least there was the occasional photo of my cousins and their young children. Then my aunt convinced us to play 500 (card game), she is an addict of the game. I remember being a bit scared of her as a teenager, and her "but why did you play that card when he led a spade and you knew I bid diamonds" etc, she's mellowed a lot now and/or I'm an adult and/or I'm better at the game. But competitive is hardly a strong enough word once the cards come out. Anyway, it got us away from the endless photos (my uncle looked like he was willing to go on forever with those) and we ended up one game each so that was good, although she had to call their son to say they'd be late for dinner because she wasn't about to leave with the game unfinished.
I was telling Tim this morning that I had a million things to do today. Haven't done any of them.
Oh, and the pool guys were supposed to come back tomorrow to finish, they said, as long as the weather stayed clear. As I look out at pouring rain. And the tiler who said he'd call me tomorrow, a week ago? Yeah....
My aunt brought up that my dad's grave has now settled so it's time to get that finished. It's been two years. Headstone and slab I guess? I didn't realise I had to do anything, or where to begin. I've never had anything to do with a burial before, not even this time. Dad's girlfriend and dad's sister organised it as I live so far away. I just paid for everything, and was surprised it cost about the same as mum's cremation instead of a lot more. But now I suppose it didn't include everything. I guess I'll call Aunty Pat. But not today.
(Edit: when Jasmine got home from school she wasn't feeling well either so we're not going shopping or to dance. Easier for me but not good that we're all sick! I hope Tim is ok, he's the most busy and overworked of us. And btw my aunt was getting over being sick yesterday. Do germs take effect so fast?)
Showing posts with label game of thrones. Show all posts
Showing posts with label game of thrones. Show all posts
Sunday, July 30, 2017
Sunday, June 26, 2016
For and against
Monday:
Hmm, looks like I didn't blog on the weekend. I guess I was a bit tired. On Saturday Tim took Jasmine back to Canberra so she could have a sleepover with some of her old friends. It's a 3.5 hour drive from here, so there and back takes a big chunk of the weekend. Jasmine had a great time, Tim caught up with some friends but had a horrible night's sleep on a thin mattress on someone's floor.
I was here with just Aiden. I still wasn't feeling so well, so in the afternoon we watched the first SpongeBob movie (and I had a bit of a nap in front of the TV) and in the evening we watched the second SpongeBob movie! I don't think the movies live up to the show, it's better in a short format. I never sleep well when Tim is away so I had a restless night.
On Sunday Tim and Jas got back at lunchtime, just in time for family to come over for our regular meal together. Since Ping is still in the queasy early pregnancy stages I am hosting every week. By the time everyone else left I was pretty wiped out from cleaning and cooking and socialising. I think Tim was even tireder! I eventually had a lovely soak in the bath which brought on a big epiphany about my novel and how to tie some things together. A bath is almost as good as walking to help the ideas come.
Today I went to the doctor to get my foot done again, then shopping, then home for the finale of Game of Thrones. Epic! This was a great season.
My weight this morning was 82.1 kg, up a bit.
I know I need to get on with getting healthy, I've let it slide a bit lately. Or rather, I keep starting but only lasting half a day.
Reasons to start eating healthy right now:
I need to lose weight to help my health issues.
I want to lose weight to look better.
My body needs more real nutrition when my health is compromised, not less.
Reasons to not start eating healthy right now:
I still have yummy frankenfood in the house that I don't want to throw away.
It's my birthday in less than a week with some celebrations planned so, you know, I might as well wait and start next Monday.
The kids go on holidays for two weeks straight after my birthday and that makes it tricky, maybe I should wait until they go back to school.
I finally see the gyno in four weeks, it's really hard to focus on healthy food when I've got all these issues, I could wait until after that appointment... or until I'm actually better... I may need minor (fibroid removal) or major (hysterectomy) surgery so I'd need to recover from that...
I'm sick of trying and failing yet again. Sometimes I feel very ready togo on a diet make a lifestyle change but right now I'm clinging to my comfort foods. I'm not depressed, but I'm tired and not feeling well. Yet if I wait for the perfect time it will never happen. If I wait until I feel healthy and have no pains anywhere before I start exercising - how likely is that? No obese person would ever start!
At the doctor's today someone was chatting to the receptionist about how it was the coldest day for years, or ever, or something. I had to giggle internally. Yes it's cold, you need a jumper, and it's also raining which is chilly if you get caught in it, but compared to Canberra (or many many other places in the world) this is positively balmy! Not that I would like to stand out in the rain waiting for the bus like Jas had to do after school today. But it's perfect hot bath weather.
Hmm, looks like I didn't blog on the weekend. I guess I was a bit tired. On Saturday Tim took Jasmine back to Canberra so she could have a sleepover with some of her old friends. It's a 3.5 hour drive from here, so there and back takes a big chunk of the weekend. Jasmine had a great time, Tim caught up with some friends but had a horrible night's sleep on a thin mattress on someone's floor.
I was here with just Aiden. I still wasn't feeling so well, so in the afternoon we watched the first SpongeBob movie (and I had a bit of a nap in front of the TV) and in the evening we watched the second SpongeBob movie! I don't think the movies live up to the show, it's better in a short format. I never sleep well when Tim is away so I had a restless night.
On Sunday Tim and Jas got back at lunchtime, just in time for family to come over for our regular meal together. Since Ping is still in the queasy early pregnancy stages I am hosting every week. By the time everyone else left I was pretty wiped out from cleaning and cooking and socialising. I think Tim was even tireder! I eventually had a lovely soak in the bath which brought on a big epiphany about my novel and how to tie some things together. A bath is almost as good as walking to help the ideas come.
Today I went to the doctor to get my foot done again, then shopping, then home for the finale of Game of Thrones. Epic! This was a great season.
My weight this morning was 82.1 kg, up a bit.
I know I need to get on with getting healthy, I've let it slide a bit lately. Or rather, I keep starting but only lasting half a day.
Reasons to start eating healthy right now:
I need to lose weight to help my health issues.
I want to lose weight to look better.
My body needs more real nutrition when my health is compromised, not less.
Reasons to not start eating healthy right now:
I still have yummy frankenfood in the house that I don't want to throw away.
It's my birthday in less than a week with some celebrations planned so, you know, I might as well wait and start next Monday.
The kids go on holidays for two weeks straight after my birthday and that makes it tricky, maybe I should wait until they go back to school.
I finally see the gyno in four weeks, it's really hard to focus on healthy food when I've got all these issues, I could wait until after that appointment... or until I'm actually better... I may need minor (fibroid removal) or major (hysterectomy) surgery so I'd need to recover from that...
I'm sick of trying and failing yet again. Sometimes I feel very ready to
At the doctor's today someone was chatting to the receptionist about how it was the coldest day for years, or ever, or something. I had to giggle internally. Yes it's cold, you need a jumper, and it's also raining which is chilly if you get caught in it, but compared to Canberra (or many many other places in the world) this is positively balmy! Not that I would like to stand out in the rain waiting for the bus like Jas had to do after school today. But it's perfect hot bath weather.
Monday, June 15, 2015
I hate you George R R Martin
Monday:
Oh boy watched the finale of Game of Thrones today, no spoilers but I hate you George R R Martin I hate you Game of Thrones you suck. I'll never watch you again and now I have to wait until next April for the next season and Martin hasn't even written the next bit yet? Arg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Actually I need to re-read the most recent couple of books because the series has diverged quite a bit.
Last night I was feeling quite nauseated when I went to bed so I didn't wear my CPAP - it doesn't team well with nausea - and I had the best night's sleep for weeks! I woke today feeling refreshed and happy. I did the shopping this morning and had no urge to buy any junk food. Life suddenly seemed so much easier. Bit tired in the afternoon but one good night can't undo weeks of bad sleep, overall much better. And that is even though I've had some ... digestive distress, shall we call it, today.
I checked my Fitbit stats first thing, curious to see what they showed. And the computer said "did you forget to log your sleep?" It usually does that automatically, I don't know if it goes by movement or heart rate or both, but last night it didn't even recognise that I went to sleep at all! What the? So I put in the times I was in bed, and the pattern of restlessness was very similar to previous nights, perhaps a little better. So I have no idea why the Fitbit didn't recognise it as sleep, or why my sleep felt so much better.
I called my sleep clinic and at first couldn't get an appointment until next week but then got a cancellation this afternoon, which was lucky. Checking my CPAP was the obvious first step. At first the sleep doctor was flummoxed because the stats showed the CPAP is working perfectly, there is minimal leakage so I don't need a new head-strap (mine is slightly stretched but not enough to be worth spending the money for a new one - I thought $25 plus $33 postage and handling from the US was bad but he charges $90! Just for the strap! He said he was embarrassed to charge so much but that is basically what they cost him), I've been using my CPAP consistently, no reason for my poor sleep. But then he looked back a bit further and saw that I only started using it consistently for around three months (since my promise in April) and the light bulb went off. Because I hadn't used it much for a while before then, I counted as a new user at that point and a certain percentage of people have this problem at around the two or three month point. The body adapts or something. It's like when I start drinking more water, my body realises water is available and I get thirsty all the time. When I started getting more air via my CPAP, after a couple of months my body realised more air is available and starts craving even more! I'm trying to suck in more air than the CPAP is giving me. Weird, huh? The doctor has given me a different CPAP to use for a couple of weeks to get readings then they can readjust mine to what I need now. It will be great if this works and I can sleep properly again. Even in the meantime, this new one should help. Mine was set on a steady pressure of 10, this one will vary between 9 and 16 as I have a sleep apnoea event and need a burst of air.
I wonder if this has happened before, and contributed to me slacking off on using my CPAP several times over the past year?
Report card:
Diet: Good. Much better today.
Exercise: Poor. Still none.
Water: Ok. Still two to go, but I think I can manage that before bedtime.
Sleep: Ok. Better!
Mental health: Good.
Oh boy watched the finale of Game of Thrones today, no spoilers but I hate you George R R Martin I hate you Game of Thrones you suck. I'll never watch you again and now I have to wait until next April for the next season and Martin hasn't even written the next bit yet? Arg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Actually I need to re-read the most recent couple of books because the series has diverged quite a bit.
Last night I was feeling quite nauseated when I went to bed so I didn't wear my CPAP - it doesn't team well with nausea - and I had the best night's sleep for weeks! I woke today feeling refreshed and happy. I did the shopping this morning and had no urge to buy any junk food. Life suddenly seemed so much easier. Bit tired in the afternoon but one good night can't undo weeks of bad sleep, overall much better. And that is even though I've had some ... digestive distress, shall we call it, today.
I checked my Fitbit stats first thing, curious to see what they showed. And the computer said "did you forget to log your sleep?" It usually does that automatically, I don't know if it goes by movement or heart rate or both, but last night it didn't even recognise that I went to sleep at all! What the? So I put in the times I was in bed, and the pattern of restlessness was very similar to previous nights, perhaps a little better. So I have no idea why the Fitbit didn't recognise it as sleep, or why my sleep felt so much better.
I called my sleep clinic and at first couldn't get an appointment until next week but then got a cancellation this afternoon, which was lucky. Checking my CPAP was the obvious first step. At first the sleep doctor was flummoxed because the stats showed the CPAP is working perfectly, there is minimal leakage so I don't need a new head-strap (mine is slightly stretched but not enough to be worth spending the money for a new one - I thought $25 plus $33 postage and handling from the US was bad but he charges $90! Just for the strap! He said he was embarrassed to charge so much but that is basically what they cost him), I've been using my CPAP consistently, no reason for my poor sleep. But then he looked back a bit further and saw that I only started using it consistently for around three months (since my promise in April) and the light bulb went off. Because I hadn't used it much for a while before then, I counted as a new user at that point and a certain percentage of people have this problem at around the two or three month point. The body adapts or something. It's like when I start drinking more water, my body realises water is available and I get thirsty all the time. When I started getting more air via my CPAP, after a couple of months my body realised more air is available and starts craving even more! I'm trying to suck in more air than the CPAP is giving me. Weird, huh? The doctor has given me a different CPAP to use for a couple of weeks to get readings then they can readjust mine to what I need now. It will be great if this works and I can sleep properly again. Even in the meantime, this new one should help. Mine was set on a steady pressure of 10, this one will vary between 9 and 16 as I have a sleep apnoea event and need a burst of air.
I wonder if this has happened before, and contributed to me slacking off on using my CPAP several times over the past year?
Report card:
Diet: Good. Much better today.
Exercise: Poor. Still none.
Water: Ok. Still two to go, but I think I can manage that before bedtime.
Sleep: Ok. Better!
Mental health: Good.
Tuesday, June 9, 2015
Cake
Tuesday:
I caught up on Game of Thrones this afternoon. Bad move. No spoilers, but something sad happens - gee who saw that coming? I'm thinking it was the show combined with recent life events that made me break down and cry and cry and cry. Probably good for me, but it didn't feel good. My chest hurt for half an hour afterward.
I made a bad decision with food today. I'd been wanting some of my favourite cake from a local bakery for a few days or longer, but they only sell it by the half or whole big cake which is way too much. Yet inferior cakes aren't good enough, it had to be this one! Today I decided to buy the half and take it to my friends' house for afternoon tea between six people - a hearty slice each. But she cancelled so I was left with half a chocolate layer cake between me and my kids.
And the cake is a great example of something I was thinking about this morning. I get a lot of pleasure from food, and I hate the thought of giving up everything I like to lose weight. But I distinguish between eating something I really enjoy, and eating whatever because I am bored or stressed or because it is there in front of me. Today I did both. The first slice was lovely, just what I had been looking forward to, and I didn't regret it. An hour later, a second slice that I didn't really want but in some sense I guess I did because I ate it, made me feel a bit sick and I certainly regretted that one! I need to enjoy the good food, whether healthy or not, and stop eating stuff that makes me feel bad rather than good. I do know the difference - even before I eat it! But if it's there in front of me...
So, it's been suggested I return to my report card. I was kind of hoping things would improve first, but that hasn't happened yet, so here I go.
Report card:
Diet: Poor.
Exercise: Poor.
Water: Ok.
Sleep: Poor.
Mental health: Mostly ok. Except when George R R Martin rips my heart out of my chest.
I caught up on Game of Thrones this afternoon. Bad move. No spoilers, but something sad happens - gee who saw that coming? I'm thinking it was the show combined with recent life events that made me break down and cry and cry and cry. Probably good for me, but it didn't feel good. My chest hurt for half an hour afterward.
I made a bad decision with food today. I'd been wanting some of my favourite cake from a local bakery for a few days or longer, but they only sell it by the half or whole big cake which is way too much. Yet inferior cakes aren't good enough, it had to be this one! Today I decided to buy the half and take it to my friends' house for afternoon tea between six people - a hearty slice each. But she cancelled so I was left with half a chocolate layer cake between me and my kids.
And the cake is a great example of something I was thinking about this morning. I get a lot of pleasure from food, and I hate the thought of giving up everything I like to lose weight. But I distinguish between eating something I really enjoy, and eating whatever because I am bored or stressed or because it is there in front of me. Today I did both. The first slice was lovely, just what I had been looking forward to, and I didn't regret it. An hour later, a second slice that I didn't really want but in some sense I guess I did because I ate it, made me feel a bit sick and I certainly regretted that one! I need to enjoy the good food, whether healthy or not, and stop eating stuff that makes me feel bad rather than good. I do know the difference - even before I eat it! But if it's there in front of me...
So, it's been suggested I return to my report card. I was kind of hoping things would improve first, but that hasn't happened yet, so here I go.
Report card:
Diet: Poor.
Exercise: Poor.
Water: Ok.
Sleep: Poor.
Mental health: Mostly ok. Except when George R R Martin rips my heart out of my chest.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)