Sunday:
A quiet weekend is a good weekend! Nothing to report, except I'm using the combination of a new week and a new month both starting tomorrow to inspire me. As I have been this year, my aspiration is towards a Mediterranean diet (lots of vegetables and fruit, and including meat, fish, eggs, full-fat dairy, nuts, a little dark chocolate and alcohol, very little processed food) and specifically because I'm trying to lose weight I'll restrict calories and carbohydrates. Restrict, not reject. See you tomorrow.
Showing posts with label plan. Show all posts
Showing posts with label plan. Show all posts
Sunday, July 31, 2016
Thursday, June 30, 2016
One more sleep
Friday:
One more sleep until my birthday! Since I opted to have a couple of celebrations here in the house instead of going out somewhere (I am also going out to dinner with just Tim and the kids), that means lots of cleaning! And shopping. Busy day. This afternoon we even unpacked the last moving box still sitting in Aiden's room. Do you know I think that is the last one, not counting the stack in the garage that may never be opened again. So there's an achievement.
I've decided to restart healthy eating on Monday. I can't delay forever. But I did use this week to eat up various things I had in the house, and I will be eating freely on the birthday weekend - but not so much I feel sick, it's a balance. I'll be eating normal amounts of real (favourite) food plus dessert and cake. Then Monday it's back to the grindstone.
School holidays is a tricky time to start, sure, but there never is a perfect time. I'll just have to be mostly strict, occasionally moderate - damn there is that word that I'm not good at. I'm more an 'all or nothing' kind of person. But one thing I'm determined on, I won't be bringing more junk into the house. If I do have a treat, it will be when I'm out. No cupboards full of temptations.
One more sleep until my birthday! Since I opted to have a couple of celebrations here in the house instead of going out somewhere (I am also going out to dinner with just Tim and the kids), that means lots of cleaning! And shopping. Busy day. This afternoon we even unpacked the last moving box still sitting in Aiden's room. Do you know I think that is the last one, not counting the stack in the garage that may never be opened again. So there's an achievement.
I've decided to restart healthy eating on Monday. I can't delay forever. But I did use this week to eat up various things I had in the house, and I will be eating freely on the birthday weekend - but not so much I feel sick, it's a balance. I'll be eating normal amounts of real (favourite) food plus dessert and cake. Then Monday it's back to the grindstone.
School holidays is a tricky time to start, sure, but there never is a perfect time. I'll just have to be mostly strict, occasionally moderate - damn there is that word that I'm not good at. I'm more an 'all or nothing' kind of person. But one thing I'm determined on, I won't be bringing more junk into the house. If I do have a treat, it will be when I'm out. No cupboards full of temptations.
Sunday, June 26, 2016
For and against
Monday:
Hmm, looks like I didn't blog on the weekend. I guess I was a bit tired. On Saturday Tim took Jasmine back to Canberra so she could have a sleepover with some of her old friends. It's a 3.5 hour drive from here, so there and back takes a big chunk of the weekend. Jasmine had a great time, Tim caught up with some friends but had a horrible night's sleep on a thin mattress on someone's floor.
I was here with just Aiden. I still wasn't feeling so well, so in the afternoon we watched the first SpongeBob movie (and I had a bit of a nap in front of the TV) and in the evening we watched the second SpongeBob movie! I don't think the movies live up to the show, it's better in a short format. I never sleep well when Tim is away so I had a restless night.
On Sunday Tim and Jas got back at lunchtime, just in time for family to come over for our regular meal together. Since Ping is still in the queasy early pregnancy stages I am hosting every week. By the time everyone else left I was pretty wiped out from cleaning and cooking and socialising. I think Tim was even tireder! I eventually had a lovely soak in the bath which brought on a big epiphany about my novel and how to tie some things together. A bath is almost as good as walking to help the ideas come.
Today I went to the doctor to get my foot done again, then shopping, then home for the finale of Game of Thrones. Epic! This was a great season.
My weight this morning was 82.1 kg, up a bit.
I know I need to get on with getting healthy, I've let it slide a bit lately. Or rather, I keep starting but only lasting half a day.
Reasons to start eating healthy right now:
I need to lose weight to help my health issues.
I want to lose weight to look better.
My body needs more real nutrition when my health is compromised, not less.
Reasons to not start eating healthy right now:
I still have yummy frankenfood in the house that I don't want to throw away.
It's my birthday in less than a week with some celebrations planned so, you know, I might as well wait and start next Monday.
The kids go on holidays for two weeks straight after my birthday and that makes it tricky, maybe I should wait until they go back to school.
I finally see the gyno in four weeks, it's really hard to focus on healthy food when I've got all these issues, I could wait until after that appointment... or until I'm actually better... I may need minor (fibroid removal) or major (hysterectomy) surgery so I'd need to recover from that...
I'm sick of trying and failing yet again. Sometimes I feel very ready togo on a diet make a lifestyle change but right now I'm clinging to my comfort foods. I'm not depressed, but I'm tired and not feeling well. Yet if I wait for the perfect time it will never happen. If I wait until I feel healthy and have no pains anywhere before I start exercising - how likely is that? No obese person would ever start!
At the doctor's today someone was chatting to the receptionist about how it was the coldest day for years, or ever, or something. I had to giggle internally. Yes it's cold, you need a jumper, and it's also raining which is chilly if you get caught in it, but compared to Canberra (or many many other places in the world) this is positively balmy! Not that I would like to stand out in the rain waiting for the bus like Jas had to do after school today. But it's perfect hot bath weather.
Hmm, looks like I didn't blog on the weekend. I guess I was a bit tired. On Saturday Tim took Jasmine back to Canberra so she could have a sleepover with some of her old friends. It's a 3.5 hour drive from here, so there and back takes a big chunk of the weekend. Jasmine had a great time, Tim caught up with some friends but had a horrible night's sleep on a thin mattress on someone's floor.
I was here with just Aiden. I still wasn't feeling so well, so in the afternoon we watched the first SpongeBob movie (and I had a bit of a nap in front of the TV) and in the evening we watched the second SpongeBob movie! I don't think the movies live up to the show, it's better in a short format. I never sleep well when Tim is away so I had a restless night.
On Sunday Tim and Jas got back at lunchtime, just in time for family to come over for our regular meal together. Since Ping is still in the queasy early pregnancy stages I am hosting every week. By the time everyone else left I was pretty wiped out from cleaning and cooking and socialising. I think Tim was even tireder! I eventually had a lovely soak in the bath which brought on a big epiphany about my novel and how to tie some things together. A bath is almost as good as walking to help the ideas come.
Today I went to the doctor to get my foot done again, then shopping, then home for the finale of Game of Thrones. Epic! This was a great season.
My weight this morning was 82.1 kg, up a bit.
I know I need to get on with getting healthy, I've let it slide a bit lately. Or rather, I keep starting but only lasting half a day.
Reasons to start eating healthy right now:
I need to lose weight to help my health issues.
I want to lose weight to look better.
My body needs more real nutrition when my health is compromised, not less.
Reasons to not start eating healthy right now:
I still have yummy frankenfood in the house that I don't want to throw away.
It's my birthday in less than a week with some celebrations planned so, you know, I might as well wait and start next Monday.
The kids go on holidays for two weeks straight after my birthday and that makes it tricky, maybe I should wait until they go back to school.
I finally see the gyno in four weeks, it's really hard to focus on healthy food when I've got all these issues, I could wait until after that appointment... or until I'm actually better... I may need minor (fibroid removal) or major (hysterectomy) surgery so I'd need to recover from that...
I'm sick of trying and failing yet again. Sometimes I feel very ready to
At the doctor's today someone was chatting to the receptionist about how it was the coldest day for years, or ever, or something. I had to giggle internally. Yes it's cold, you need a jumper, and it's also raining which is chilly if you get caught in it, but compared to Canberra (or many many other places in the world) this is positively balmy! Not that I would like to stand out in the rain waiting for the bus like Jas had to do after school today. But it's perfect hot bath weather.
Sunday, April 10, 2016
Thirteen: back again
Sunday:
Well, yesterday proved I was right the first time! I need to aim for 100% to get 90%. "Not on a diet" means "eat all the things". I stuffed myself while at the movies, woke up at 3am with a tummy ache, and put on half a kilogram in fat. I can't go on like that! So I had my day off and it's back to the grindstone. Actually I feel much better about going back on my plan. Yesterday was the hormonal imbalance talking; trying to tell me it's not fair, I should be able to eat whatever I like. Well yes life obviously isn't fair, I've got it damn good and all I've got to worry about is not eating so much I make myself sick!
One thing I do want to take from my rebellious musing yesterday is that I need to focus on the fun more and the food less. Can I obsess about food less but at the same time stick to my plan? I'll try.
The movie was "The Huntsman" and we all quite enjoyed it. Martha, who was late last time and we ended up going in without her, arrived more than half an hour after the movie was due to start this time! Luckily for her there was a fire alarm (false alarm) while we were queueing for tickets and everything was delayed. Some people are late everywhere for everything. I'm the opposite. She's the one who picked the movie and the session time to work around her schedule so she has no excuse!
Tim took the kids ten-pin bowling today, I didn't go because those heavy balls are not kind to my dodgy shoulders. Also I didn't really want to be around junk food again so soon. I did my guitar practice, read and played computer games. They were out for four hours. I tried to make the most of it as I won't have a lot of time alone for the next couple of weeks with school holidays, but I do miss having my family around the house.
Family dinner at Ping's house tonight. Luckily the food was within my plan rules (ie low carb, I just didn't eat the bread) and I had some honeydew melon and strawberries for dessert instead of cheesecake plus fruit. I stayed away from the potato chips put out later and had a couple of grapes that my niece handed me. I think I did awesomely well!
What I ate:
B: Raspberries and yoghurt, tea.
L: Quinoa "fried rice".
S: Apple, tea.
D: Portuguese chicken, salad, fruit.
Tired and headachy, but victorious.
Well, yesterday proved I was right the first time! I need to aim for 100% to get 90%. "Not on a diet" means "eat all the things". I stuffed myself while at the movies, woke up at 3am with a tummy ache, and put on half a kilogram in fat. I can't go on like that! So I had my day off and it's back to the grindstone. Actually I feel much better about going back on my plan. Yesterday was the hormonal imbalance talking; trying to tell me it's not fair, I should be able to eat whatever I like. Well yes life obviously isn't fair, I've got it damn good and all I've got to worry about is not eating so much I make myself sick!
One thing I do want to take from my rebellious musing yesterday is that I need to focus on the fun more and the food less. Can I obsess about food less but at the same time stick to my plan? I'll try.
The movie was "The Huntsman" and we all quite enjoyed it. Martha, who was late last time and we ended up going in without her, arrived more than half an hour after the movie was due to start this time! Luckily for her there was a fire alarm (false alarm) while we were queueing for tickets and everything was delayed. Some people are late everywhere for everything. I'm the opposite. She's the one who picked the movie and the session time to work around her schedule so she has no excuse!
Tim took the kids ten-pin bowling today, I didn't go because those heavy balls are not kind to my dodgy shoulders. Also I didn't really want to be around junk food again so soon. I did my guitar practice, read and played computer games. They were out for four hours. I tried to make the most of it as I won't have a lot of time alone for the next couple of weeks with school holidays, but I do miss having my family around the house.
Family dinner at Ping's house tonight. Luckily the food was within my plan rules (ie low carb, I just didn't eat the bread) and I had some honeydew melon and strawberries for dessert instead of cheesecake plus fruit. I stayed away from the potato chips put out later and had a couple of grapes that my niece handed me. I think I did awesomely well!
What I ate:
B: Raspberries and yoghurt, tea.
L: Quinoa "fried rice".
S: Apple, tea.
D: Portuguese chicken, salad, fruit.
Tired and headachy, but victorious.
Monday, March 28, 2016
Long weekend
Monday:
Tim is sick and miserable with this cold, and sad that he's missed half the long weekend. He might end up home from work tomorrow. I am only moderately sick, and part of that might be a lack of sleep from listening to Tim cough and sneeze and blow his nose all night. When one of us is sick I wish we had a spare room so the other could get some sleep. Anyway, it was a day at home not doing much.
I ate quite a lot of my big Easter egg but it will be getting put away now. From tomorrow I am doing that eight week plan again - low carb/low calorie Mediterranean diet that then becomes a Mediterranean lifestyle at the end. I got some results in January even when I didn't stick to it faithfully, this time I'll do better.
Tim is sick and miserable with this cold, and sad that he's missed half the long weekend. He might end up home from work tomorrow. I am only moderately sick, and part of that might be a lack of sleep from listening to Tim cough and sneeze and blow his nose all night. When one of us is sick I wish we had a spare room so the other could get some sleep. Anyway, it was a day at home not doing much.
I ate quite a lot of my big Easter egg but it will be getting put away now. From tomorrow I am doing that eight week plan again - low carb/low calorie Mediterranean diet that then becomes a Mediterranean lifestyle at the end. I got some results in January even when I didn't stick to it faithfully, this time I'll do better.
Thursday, December 17, 2015
Planning Christmas
Thursday:
Tim drove Jasmine back to Canberra so she could attend the Yr 6 graduation dinner at her old school with her friends. When we originally planned it I thought the kids would still have school here but it actually finished a day earlier in NSW, so Aiden and I could have gone and met up with some people without him missing any school here. But he didn't want to and I didn't either really. I've had enough of those long drives for the moment. They drove all the way home after, getting here after midnight (I'm writing this next morning).
I spent part the time planning my Christmas/Boxing Day menu out properly and writing shopping lists for the days leading up to it. I'm hosting Christmas lunch and Boxing Day lunch for around 17, and taking a dessert to Christmas Dinner in the evening. I still need to make my timing list, I find this invaluable for complicated cooking. What to cook in advance, then on the day when to put the turkey in, when to start the potatoes etc. Makes sure nothing is forgotten. It takes a lot of stress out of the day if I can just look at my list and see 11:55 slice the baguettes.
Aiden made paper aeroplanes and chattered away, and in the evening we watched TV together and got to bed in good time.
My mornings are so early. I don't them to be, and they don't need to be. I wake most mornings around 5am, it is still dark and quiet. I try to get back to sleep for a while, give up after an hour and get up once it's light, sit reading or playing with my phone and feeling braindead until everyone else wakes up and I can go and have a shower - I don't want to wake the rest of the house earlier. Sometimes I crawl back into bed at some point but very rarely get back to sleep. I generally feel too exhausted to go for a walk then or do anything else. Why am I waking up so early! It certainly isn't because I've had enough sleep!
We are all saving Star Wars for Boxing Day, looking forward to it.
Tim drove Jasmine back to Canberra so she could attend the Yr 6 graduation dinner at her old school with her friends. When we originally planned it I thought the kids would still have school here but it actually finished a day earlier in NSW, so Aiden and I could have gone and met up with some people without him missing any school here. But he didn't want to and I didn't either really. I've had enough of those long drives for the moment. They drove all the way home after, getting here after midnight (I'm writing this next morning).
I spent part the time planning my Christmas/Boxing Day menu out properly and writing shopping lists for the days leading up to it. I'm hosting Christmas lunch and Boxing Day lunch for around 17, and taking a dessert to Christmas Dinner in the evening. I still need to make my timing list, I find this invaluable for complicated cooking. What to cook in advance, then on the day when to put the turkey in, when to start the potatoes etc. Makes sure nothing is forgotten. It takes a lot of stress out of the day if I can just look at my list and see 11:55 slice the baguettes.
Aiden made paper aeroplanes and chattered away, and in the evening we watched TV together and got to bed in good time.
My mornings are so early. I don't them to be, and they don't need to be. I wake most mornings around 5am, it is still dark and quiet. I try to get back to sleep for a while, give up after an hour and get up once it's light, sit reading or playing with my phone and feeling braindead until everyone else wakes up and I can go and have a shower - I don't want to wake the rest of the house earlier. Sometimes I crawl back into bed at some point but very rarely get back to sleep. I generally feel too exhausted to go for a walk then or do anything else. Why am I waking up so early! It certainly isn't because I've had enough sleep!
We are all saving Star Wars for Boxing Day, looking forward to it.
Sunday, September 13, 2015
Biggest Loser
Sunday:
morning
Ok, we've essentially decided to initially pursue the smallest house with a nice backyard for the kids in a good area near a school. At least that is what we are thinking this morning! Our primary issue with this house is that the third bedroom is really quite small (currently furnished as a study). It would be Aiden's and I don't want him to be too cramped. We've decided on a couple of ways to ameliorate this problem: firstly we could get him one of those beds that is like a top bunk with a desk or drawers underneath which maximises space - his best friend has a bed like that and he loves it. And secondly with a very minor renovation we could remove a linen cupboard on the other side of the wall that pushes into his bedroom, giving him a bit more room.
One day in the future when he is a teenager and we have lots of spare money (sure, it will happen), we can build another room for him on the back of the house. And a pool. One day.
Another good thing about it is they are not auctioning, they have an asking price. It's right at the top of our budget but we think it is a little overpriced and will make a lower offer. I'm sure that is what they would expect anyway, haggling a bit is normal. Of course there may be other people interested, but at least we don't have to go to auction!
The second house in the right area is bigger and just lovely, but no backyard is a real problem for us. There is just a tiny paved area. It's such a small block the house takes up the whole block. And no park or anything right nearby either. Our kids love playing outside. So we've moved that to our second choice. And the third house (with the pool) is just too far from schools as well as some other minor flaws.
Ok, back to the healthy living!
I actually got a nice surprise when I weighed myself this morning, something I haven't been doing much lately. I was fearfully expecting a big increase, but my weight has only been creeping up very slowly. It may seem odd being happy about any increase, but I know what I've been eating lately! It is how I respond to stress. So I was relieved. But I know I need to stop the upward trend and turn it around right now. I have a lot of health issues and they are basically all caused by my weight.
I am have some plans.
I will start tracking again. I've downloaded Myfitnesspal because a lot of people seem to like it and it syncs with Fitbit. I'm trying wearing my Fitbit again, but if it irritates my skin again I'll use my phone to track activity. I'm limiting calories but not any particular foods. Eating more fruit and vegetables. I will drink all my water. I will start walking again.
My other idea is to use Biggest Loser to motivate me. A new series starts here tonight and it is one of my favourite shows. I know this is very controversial! In its defence, the Australian version is relatively mild and supportive. I've seen the US version and was a bit horrified at how the trainers treat the contestants. The Australian trainers are nice, tough without being abusive. Anyway, I enjoy watching it.
My plan is to find something on every episode to use in my own weight loss, whether that is an exercise or a tip on diet or something about dealing with the psychological side of weight issues. As I watch, I will think "how can this help me?"
Evening
We spent the day working hard, quite a bit outside. No formal exercise, but another good housework workout! Food was not great. Food was pretty poor, actually. And we're no longer sure which house! Arg!!!!!!!!!!
I watched the first episode of Biggest Loser, the four trainers met their teams (families of four). They spent a few days having to eat what the families were eating - and not allowed to exercise. The trainers all felt completely sick, nauseated, headachy, Tiffany broke out in acne, Michelle was crying, Shannon looked like he wanted to punch someone, the Commando was the only reasonably stoic one and even he said he couldn't wait for it to be over. For them, a few days of unrestricted eating was NOT fun, they knew what it was like to feel healthy and this wasn't it!
morning
Ok, we've essentially decided to initially pursue the smallest house with a nice backyard for the kids in a good area near a school. At least that is what we are thinking this morning! Our primary issue with this house is that the third bedroom is really quite small (currently furnished as a study). It would be Aiden's and I don't want him to be too cramped. We've decided on a couple of ways to ameliorate this problem: firstly we could get him one of those beds that is like a top bunk with a desk or drawers underneath which maximises space - his best friend has a bed like that and he loves it. And secondly with a very minor renovation we could remove a linen cupboard on the other side of the wall that pushes into his bedroom, giving him a bit more room.
One day in the future when he is a teenager and we have lots of spare money (sure, it will happen), we can build another room for him on the back of the house. And a pool. One day.
Another good thing about it is they are not auctioning, they have an asking price. It's right at the top of our budget but we think it is a little overpriced and will make a lower offer. I'm sure that is what they would expect anyway, haggling a bit is normal. Of course there may be other people interested, but at least we don't have to go to auction!
The second house in the right area is bigger and just lovely, but no backyard is a real problem for us. There is just a tiny paved area. It's such a small block the house takes up the whole block. And no park or anything right nearby either. Our kids love playing outside. So we've moved that to our second choice. And the third house (with the pool) is just too far from schools as well as some other minor flaws.
Ok, back to the healthy living!
I actually got a nice surprise when I weighed myself this morning, something I haven't been doing much lately. I was fearfully expecting a big increase, but my weight has only been creeping up very slowly. It may seem odd being happy about any increase, but I know what I've been eating lately! It is how I respond to stress. So I was relieved. But I know I need to stop the upward trend and turn it around right now. I have a lot of health issues and they are basically all caused by my weight.
I am have some plans.
I will start tracking again. I've downloaded Myfitnesspal because a lot of people seem to like it and it syncs with Fitbit. I'm trying wearing my Fitbit again, but if it irritates my skin again I'll use my phone to track activity. I'm limiting calories but not any particular foods. Eating more fruit and vegetables. I will drink all my water. I will start walking again.
My other idea is to use Biggest Loser to motivate me. A new series starts here tonight and it is one of my favourite shows. I know this is very controversial! In its defence, the Australian version is relatively mild and supportive. I've seen the US version and was a bit horrified at how the trainers treat the contestants. The Australian trainers are nice, tough without being abusive. Anyway, I enjoy watching it.
My plan is to find something on every episode to use in my own weight loss, whether that is an exercise or a tip on diet or something about dealing with the psychological side of weight issues. As I watch, I will think "how can this help me?"
Evening
We spent the day working hard, quite a bit outside. No formal exercise, but another good housework workout! Food was not great. Food was pretty poor, actually. And we're no longer sure which house! Arg!!!!!!!!!!
I watched the first episode of Biggest Loser, the four trainers met their teams (families of four). They spent a few days having to eat what the families were eating - and not allowed to exercise. The trainers all felt completely sick, nauseated, headachy, Tiffany broke out in acne, Michelle was crying, Shannon looked like he wanted to punch someone, the Commando was the only reasonably stoic one and even he said he couldn't wait for it to be over. For them, a few days of unrestricted eating was NOT fun, they knew what it was like to feel healthy and this wasn't it!
Wednesday, June 24, 2015
Little promises, and not going anywhere
Wednesday:
I'm not feeling ready for a big push towards becoming perfect in every way, but I can't just drift along as I am and gain a lot of weight. So I am going to make some little promises. It worked before! There is only one week left in June, and I promise that for the next week:
Diet: I will not eat after 8:00pm. This should save me hundreds of calories a day, without sending me into a panic binge about giving up my comfort foods.
Exercise: I will do some deliberate exercise every day, even if it is just a 10 minute walk. I am going to establish a habit of exercising again.
Water: I will drink at least 8 glasses a day. Some days this seems hard but I know that my body doesn't give reliable signals about being thirsty and I need to push myself to do it anyway. When I don't drink enough, I get very dehydrated, my skin dries out, and I think it affects my energy levels.
Sleep: I've been struggling a lot with the new CPAP. At least, it is my own CPAP but with a temporary new brain. For some reason it's been very difficult for me to use it consistently. I have changed the humidity/temperature settings back to what I like (the sleep doctor changed them to stop my throat drying out, but I hated having hot moist air blown up my nose even in winter) but the main difference is that this one has variable pressure - it blows softer or harder depending on what it decides I need at that moment. Last night I decided I just have to make it "no choice" again. Minimum four hours, I'm not allowed to take it off before then. And it worked, I kept it on for nearly seven hours and slept really well! I think taking the choice away helped a lot. Hopefully I'll have enough readings for the technicians when I see them next week, so they can reset my own CPAP brain to exactly the right settings.
Mental health: This is a tricky one. How do I enforce good mental health, even in a small way? Telling myself not to stress so much doesn't really work! I promise to use my meditation app at least twice this week. I can spare 20 minutes of stillness. As I plan this, I can see myself lying there listening but thinking "I need to be doing x and y and z!" and getting more stressed! But I need to teach myself to relax somehow. I don't mean to imply that I am working hard all hours of the day and night, but just that it's when I try to be still and calm that I can start to feel the pressure building.
So, that is the plan for this week.
I renewed my driver licence today. For once I remembered that they take your photo, so I was careful with hair and makeup. So I was disappointed with the picture; not only do I look old, fat and tired; one clump of my hair is sticking out! The wind must have got it just before I went in. Of course the photographer doesn't care what you look like, just takes one photo and there you are for the next five years.
I also had my last physio appointment for my shoulder! So much better now. I need to keep up the home exercises.
NEWSFLASH
Tim called this afternoon to say he didn't get the job on Norfolk Island. He came second in the selection process. Apparently there were a lot of applicants, and one was considered just slightly more qualified in this particular area.
Obviously I'm disappointed and sad, and also a bit surprised. I was pretty sure we were going. I really wanted to go. But I'm very glad to at least finally know, and not be in suspense any more. Also it removes a lot of stress about the whole process of moving in a hurry, and readying the house for renting out, and also about Jasmine missing the last six months of her primary school and the first six months of her new high school next year (Australian school years are Jan-Dec, or I suppose Feb-Dec as Jan is all summerholidays). And she was going to miss the upcoming dance concert.
Also I was a bit worried about being inaccessible during the sale of my father's house and assets, and all that process.
This leaves us back where we were a couple of months ago, not sure what we are going to do next. Tim will continue to look for work outside the big cities, but what do we do in the meantime? Stay and wait, renovate, move to a bigger/less run-down house? I guess not all the stress is gone! Geez, I need to learn to relax for a minute.
I ate some comfort food, I felt quite let down and seriously considered deleting the first half of this post and forgetting all about those promises I just made because, well, I was sad. That is a good excuse, isn't it? But then I got stubborn, so:
Report card:
Diet: Tick. I ate some very unhealthy food today, but nothing after 8pm.
Exercise: Tick. I marched around the lounge room for 5 minutes.
Water: Tick. Forced down my 8 glasses before bedtime.
Sleep: Tick, and great sleep last night.
Mental health: Poor. Feeling deflated.
I'm not feeling ready for a big push towards becoming perfect in every way, but I can't just drift along as I am and gain a lot of weight. So I am going to make some little promises. It worked before! There is only one week left in June, and I promise that for the next week:
Diet: I will not eat after 8:00pm. This should save me hundreds of calories a day, without sending me into a panic binge about giving up my comfort foods.
Exercise: I will do some deliberate exercise every day, even if it is just a 10 minute walk. I am going to establish a habit of exercising again.
Water: I will drink at least 8 glasses a day. Some days this seems hard but I know that my body doesn't give reliable signals about being thirsty and I need to push myself to do it anyway. When I don't drink enough, I get very dehydrated, my skin dries out, and I think it affects my energy levels.
Sleep: I've been struggling a lot with the new CPAP. At least, it is my own CPAP but with a temporary new brain. For some reason it's been very difficult for me to use it consistently. I have changed the humidity/temperature settings back to what I like (the sleep doctor changed them to stop my throat drying out, but I hated having hot moist air blown up my nose even in winter) but the main difference is that this one has variable pressure - it blows softer or harder depending on what it decides I need at that moment. Last night I decided I just have to make it "no choice" again. Minimum four hours, I'm not allowed to take it off before then. And it worked, I kept it on for nearly seven hours and slept really well! I think taking the choice away helped a lot. Hopefully I'll have enough readings for the technicians when I see them next week, so they can reset my own CPAP brain to exactly the right settings.
Mental health: This is a tricky one. How do I enforce good mental health, even in a small way? Telling myself not to stress so much doesn't really work! I promise to use my meditation app at least twice this week. I can spare 20 minutes of stillness. As I plan this, I can see myself lying there listening but thinking "I need to be doing x and y and z!" and getting more stressed! But I need to teach myself to relax somehow. I don't mean to imply that I am working hard all hours of the day and night, but just that it's when I try to be still and calm that I can start to feel the pressure building.
So, that is the plan for this week.
I renewed my driver licence today. For once I remembered that they take your photo, so I was careful with hair and makeup. So I was disappointed with the picture; not only do I look old, fat and tired; one clump of my hair is sticking out! The wind must have got it just before I went in. Of course the photographer doesn't care what you look like, just takes one photo and there you are for the next five years.
I also had my last physio appointment for my shoulder! So much better now. I need to keep up the home exercises.
NEWSFLASH
Tim called this afternoon to say he didn't get the job on Norfolk Island. He came second in the selection process. Apparently there were a lot of applicants, and one was considered just slightly more qualified in this particular area.
Obviously I'm disappointed and sad, and also a bit surprised. I was pretty sure we were going. I really wanted to go. But I'm very glad to at least finally know, and not be in suspense any more. Also it removes a lot of stress about the whole process of moving in a hurry, and readying the house for renting out, and also about Jasmine missing the last six months of her primary school and the first six months of her new high school next year (Australian school years are Jan-Dec, or I suppose Feb-Dec as Jan is all summerholidays). And she was going to miss the upcoming dance concert.
Also I was a bit worried about being inaccessible during the sale of my father's house and assets, and all that process.
This leaves us back where we were a couple of months ago, not sure what we are going to do next. Tim will continue to look for work outside the big cities, but what do we do in the meantime? Stay and wait, renovate, move to a bigger/less run-down house? I guess not all the stress is gone! Geez, I need to learn to relax for a minute.
I ate some comfort food, I felt quite let down and seriously considered deleting the first half of this post and forgetting all about those promises I just made because, well, I was sad. That is a good excuse, isn't it? But then I got stubborn, so:
Report card:
Diet: Tick. I ate some very unhealthy food today, but nothing after 8pm.
Exercise: Tick. I marched around the lounge room for 5 minutes.
Water: Tick. Forced down my 8 glasses before bedtime.
Sleep: Tick, and great sleep last night.
Mental health: Poor. Feeling deflated.
Saturday, February 14, 2015
Back to basics
Saturday:
This morning I was thinking about what I need to get my food back on track after my little lapse. One or two bad meals or days need not be a diet-ender. So what works for me?
The first thing that I've slacked off on these past few days, even before the slump, was including lots of vegetables. Eating my vegetables is always a bit of a struggle, I don't like that many kinds or know many appealing ways of cooking them. My meals revolve around the protein, and making sure there are enough carbs for Tim. Vegetables are the afterthought, the "because I have to". So when the gloss of a new diet wears off, the virtuous increase in vegetables is the first thing to go.
Yet not only are veges good for me, they fill me up. No wonder I start eating more junk when i stop eating vegetables, I have to fill my stomach with something. Clearly this needs to be a priority.
The other thing I need to careful of is the timing of my meals. For example if I'm not hungry for morning tea and don't eat my piece of fruit, then I am ravenous an hour later. Too close to lunch to snack, so early lunch instead. So I'm starving by afternoon tea time, and eat too much. Not hungry at dinner time, eat only a little. But hungry in the evening... So I spend the day snacking, maybe on healthy food but not proper balanced meals. All because I didn't have my morning snack on time. It can mess up my whole day.
Pre-planning works well for me. Each evening I write down what I'm going to eat the next day, and I stick to that pretty closely. If I don't do this, it's easier to eat something less healthy. I also always plan the week's dinners before I go shopping - I don't understand how some people don't do this, I would hate not knowing what I was going to cook until it got to 5pm and try to work something out from the ingredients I happened to have.
I decided to swap over all my food recording to the Fitbit. It's actually quite a pain because all the items are American. The database didn't have Lebanese cucumbers (probably not much different to standard cucumbers in nutritional value) or my brand of cheese (fat and salt content could vary a lot) or my brand of tinned corn (sugar and salt). Cuts of meat are named differently. Some types of food have completely different names which might trip me up if I don't know. For example in most of the world "marinara" means seafood - that is what the word "marine" means after all, from the sea. But in the US apparently it means a tomato based sauce, nothing to do with seafood at all. Very confusing. I'll give the Fitbit recording a go, but might end up going back to my Australian CalorieKing if it's too hard.
Report Card:
Diet: Ok. Since it was Valentine's Day, we had dessert with dinner and I also ate some of the chocolates I was given. I will only be having one a day from now on.
Exercise: N/A. Saturday is my rest day.
Water: Great. Finished 12 glasses well before bedtime.
Sleep: Ok. Had an afternoon nap.
Mental health: Good. Feeling much better today. Did my meditation in the afternoon, and enjoyed spending time with my family.
This morning I was thinking about what I need to get my food back on track after my little lapse. One or two bad meals or days need not be a diet-ender. So what works for me?
The first thing that I've slacked off on these past few days, even before the slump, was including lots of vegetables. Eating my vegetables is always a bit of a struggle, I don't like that many kinds or know many appealing ways of cooking them. My meals revolve around the protein, and making sure there are enough carbs for Tim. Vegetables are the afterthought, the "because I have to". So when the gloss of a new diet wears off, the virtuous increase in vegetables is the first thing to go.
Yet not only are veges good for me, they fill me up. No wonder I start eating more junk when i stop eating vegetables, I have to fill my stomach with something. Clearly this needs to be a priority.
The other thing I need to careful of is the timing of my meals. For example if I'm not hungry for morning tea and don't eat my piece of fruit, then I am ravenous an hour later. Too close to lunch to snack, so early lunch instead. So I'm starving by afternoon tea time, and eat too much. Not hungry at dinner time, eat only a little. But hungry in the evening... So I spend the day snacking, maybe on healthy food but not proper balanced meals. All because I didn't have my morning snack on time. It can mess up my whole day.
Pre-planning works well for me. Each evening I write down what I'm going to eat the next day, and I stick to that pretty closely. If I don't do this, it's easier to eat something less healthy. I also always plan the week's dinners before I go shopping - I don't understand how some people don't do this, I would hate not knowing what I was going to cook until it got to 5pm and try to work something out from the ingredients I happened to have.
I decided to swap over all my food recording to the Fitbit. It's actually quite a pain because all the items are American. The database didn't have Lebanese cucumbers (probably not much different to standard cucumbers in nutritional value) or my brand of cheese (fat and salt content could vary a lot) or my brand of tinned corn (sugar and salt). Cuts of meat are named differently. Some types of food have completely different names which might trip me up if I don't know. For example in most of the world "marinara" means seafood - that is what the word "marine" means after all, from the sea. But in the US apparently it means a tomato based sauce, nothing to do with seafood at all. Very confusing. I'll give the Fitbit recording a go, but might end up going back to my Australian CalorieKing if it's too hard.
Report Card:
Diet: Ok. Since it was Valentine's Day, we had dessert with dinner and I also ate some of the chocolates I was given. I will only be having one a day from now on.
Exercise: N/A. Saturday is my rest day.
Water: Great. Finished 12 glasses well before bedtime.
Sleep: Ok. Had an afternoon nap.
Mental health: Good. Feeling much better today. Did my meditation in the afternoon, and enjoyed spending time with my family.
Monday, December 29, 2014
No control
Tuesday:
I'm a planner. A planner and a worrier. Christmas was a stressful time, going back and forth between hospital and various family events. I was only able to cope because Tim and I sat down and made a plan about where we would be each day. We have a beach holiday coming up, fully paid in advance and non-refundable, and at the moment we are still planning to go but not sure if we will be able to, depending on mum's condition. I took some comfort that at least I had this period in between the two when I had some control, Tim was home to look after the kids so I could just hire a car and go and spend as much time with mum as I needed to, making my own plans about when to go and where to stay.
Now even that has been taken away. Firstly, Tim decided that he wanted to come to Sydney too with the kids, a couple of days earlier than I had planned, so we could spend New Year's Eve with his brother and no doubt other members of his family. I have never felt less like socialising. And it would also leave us travelling on a couple of the busiest days of the year, and me looking for food when everything was closed. And then I tried to book a hire car and that part fell apart too. They were all about three times the price I expected, around $100 per day, and no-one had a depot anywhere near Tim's brother's house, and they were either closed on New Year's Day or on Sundays or wouldn't let me pick up in Sydney and drop off in Canberra even though they had depots in both places and Canberra is in a tiny state completely surrounded by New South Wales so we practically count as being part of it.
What had been a simple plan to visit my mother now seemed like a nightmare. On top of dealing with my mother's illness and staying at my mother's house (I considered a hotel, but again that was very expensive and also further away from the hospital), I have to work out what to do about all the rest. Tim has suggested I keep the car and he and the kids catch the bus back to Canberra - there is a very good service but it goes from the centre of the city so it will be quite a big hassle for them getting in from the suburbs. Either I spend New Year's Eve trying to smile and be social or I drop Tim and the kids there and spend NYE without them at my mother's house, either way with them catching the bus home and me eating McDonalds for every meal with everything else closed because there is no way I am going in that revolting kitchen, or else I stay here in Canberra alone and wait until they bring the car back so I can go on the day I originally planned. And they will be left here without a car for however long I am away, which will be difficult for them.
I hate this so much. Tim isn't being unreasonable about wanting to have some fun on NYE, but between that and the hire car companies I feel like all my control over the situation has been taken away. What I had was an illusion anyway, I have no control over my mother's illness, but I was clinging to that illusion to keep me sane. I went to bed and cried for two hours last night, slept for maybe four hours, and then got up at dawn to write this because I was lying there with my stomach churning with stress. Remembering the good old days as a teenager when I used to cut myself because physical pain is so much easier to deal with than emotional pain. I can't take refuge in that any more. I have to just deal with it.
Edit: of course as soon as I told Tim how he was feeling he said we would make other arrangements that worked better for me.
I'm a planner. A planner and a worrier. Christmas was a stressful time, going back and forth between hospital and various family events. I was only able to cope because Tim and I sat down and made a plan about where we would be each day. We have a beach holiday coming up, fully paid in advance and non-refundable, and at the moment we are still planning to go but not sure if we will be able to, depending on mum's condition. I took some comfort that at least I had this period in between the two when I had some control, Tim was home to look after the kids so I could just hire a car and go and spend as much time with mum as I needed to, making my own plans about when to go and where to stay.
Now even that has been taken away. Firstly, Tim decided that he wanted to come to Sydney too with the kids, a couple of days earlier than I had planned, so we could spend New Year's Eve with his brother and no doubt other members of his family. I have never felt less like socialising. And it would also leave us travelling on a couple of the busiest days of the year, and me looking for food when everything was closed. And then I tried to book a hire car and that part fell apart too. They were all about three times the price I expected, around $100 per day, and no-one had a depot anywhere near Tim's brother's house, and they were either closed on New Year's Day or on Sundays or wouldn't let me pick up in Sydney and drop off in Canberra even though they had depots in both places and Canberra is in a tiny state completely surrounded by New South Wales so we practically count as being part of it.
What had been a simple plan to visit my mother now seemed like a nightmare. On top of dealing with my mother's illness and staying at my mother's house (I considered a hotel, but again that was very expensive and also further away from the hospital), I have to work out what to do about all the rest. Tim has suggested I keep the car and he and the kids catch the bus back to Canberra - there is a very good service but it goes from the centre of the city so it will be quite a big hassle for them getting in from the suburbs. Either I spend New Year's Eve trying to smile and be social or I drop Tim and the kids there and spend NYE without them at my mother's house, either way with them catching the bus home and me eating McDonalds for every meal with everything else closed because there is no way I am going in that revolting kitchen, or else I stay here in Canberra alone and wait until they bring the car back so I can go on the day I originally planned. And they will be left here without a car for however long I am away, which will be difficult for them.
I hate this so much. Tim isn't being unreasonable about wanting to have some fun on NYE, but between that and the hire car companies I feel like all my control over the situation has been taken away. What I had was an illusion anyway, I have no control over my mother's illness, but I was clinging to that illusion to keep me sane. I went to bed and cried for two hours last night, slept for maybe four hours, and then got up at dawn to write this because I was lying there with my stomach churning with stress. Remembering the good old days as a teenager when I used to cut myself because physical pain is so much easier to deal with than emotional pain. I can't take refuge in that any more. I have to just deal with it.
Edit: of course as soon as I told Tim how he was feeling he said we would make other arrangements that worked better for me.
Friday, August 29, 2014
Fast or slow?
Saturday:
The general received wisdom is that it is better to lose weight slowly, that you are more likely to keep it off. I saw Michelle Bridges (trainer from Australia's Biggest Loser) talking about this in relation to the extremely rapid weight loss on that show, and she argued that EVERYONE struggles to keep weight off, whether they lost it quickly or slowly, and that people who lose slowly don't have a better record of keeping it off. In fact, losing weight quickly can be very motivating. (Although I suppose that doesn't make any difference once you get to maintenance.)
I was thinking about that this morning so I found Gretchen Rubin's post today about habits very apposite. She says:
Sometimes, counter-intuitively, it’s easier to make a major change than a minor change. When a habit is changing very gradually, we may lose interest, give way under stress, or dismiss the change as insignificant. A big transformation creates excitement and energy and a sense of progress, and that helps to create a habit.
Anyone want to weigh in (pun intended) on this issue? Fast or slow?
Of course there are other factors to consider when it comes to losing weight fast or slow. Skin elasticity. Getting enough nutrients in a low calorie diet. Not injuring yourself exercising excessively. Taking up so much time and energy it interferes too much with the rest of your daily life.
I've mentioned carb cycling a couple of times over the past two weeks, but I haven't managed to get it going yet. Being sick has had a lot to do with that - I find simple carbs (like toast) are all I want to eat when my stomach is upset. (My weight is down to 81.7 kg today from 82.5 kg last Monday, which is nice, although I didn't enjoy the process!) My husband likes scrambled eggs when he is sick, which I don't understand at all. Yuck. When I am sick, eggs are the last things I want to smell. Stomach-turning.
So anyway, I've done a lot more reading about carb cycling (mainly from the website of Chris Powell "Choose to Lose") and I'm giving it another go starting tomorrow. I'm not starting today because I haven't been shopping yet, we're going out to dinner tonight before Jasmine's big dance concert, and Saturday is going to be my "free" day anyway. But I'm not waiting until Monday, first day of spring, either! Sunday will do just fine, and fits in with how I want the low carb/high carb cycle to run. And don't worry, I'm not doing a last hurrah binge today either.
I plan to copy Sean Anderson and take photos of all my food to keep me accountable. I'll talk a lot more about carb cycling as we go along, I imagine, but the basic premise is you have some low carb days (starchy carbs/fruit only at breakfast) and some high carb days (starchy carbs/fruit with every meal) so that you get the benefits of a low carb diet without the problems. There are different ways to alternate the days in different amounts. You also eat lots of non-starchy vegetables, and it's low fat especially on the high carb days. In the past I have found I lose weight when eating low carb, but couldn't handle the misery and crankiness - and wasn't much fun for my family either! I'm hoping this method will work for me without messing with my emotional health, if not obviously I'll stop it. You also get one free day, Saturday for me, or else three free meals throughout the week if you prefer, so you still get to eat whatever you like sometimes. Without going overboard, of course, if you want to lose weight!
I'm in that lovely excited state just before starting a new diet. Yay for honeymoon periods! As long as it lasts past the first morning.
To relate this back to the start of this post, I don't really intend to do carb cycling for the rest of my life. Unless I love it and it makes me feel great; there are modifications for maintenance, I think. I've downloaded Chris Powell's iPhone app which has a 12 week transformation challenge, and that is my current plan and goal. I want some fairly quick results to keep me motivated. If/when I get to my goal weight, I'll worry about how to vary my diet for maintenance then.
I will also be exercising, of course. Six days a week (Saturday off), walking and dance.
If you're wondering about where my professed love of cognitive therapy went, well I still plan to use that. Cognitive therapy isn't a diet, it helps keep you on your diet. I feel it did help me stick to my last one a lot longer than my usual record. So I'll be reading my flash cards again, reminding myself of all the reasons I want to lose weight.
The biggest reason? To get rid of my CPAP. Sleep without it by Christmas.
The general received wisdom is that it is better to lose weight slowly, that you are more likely to keep it off. I saw Michelle Bridges (trainer from Australia's Biggest Loser) talking about this in relation to the extremely rapid weight loss on that show, and she argued that EVERYONE struggles to keep weight off, whether they lost it quickly or slowly, and that people who lose slowly don't have a better record of keeping it off. In fact, losing weight quickly can be very motivating. (Although I suppose that doesn't make any difference once you get to maintenance.)
I was thinking about that this morning so I found Gretchen Rubin's post today about habits very apposite. She says:
Sometimes, counter-intuitively, it’s easier to make a major change than a minor change. When a habit is changing very gradually, we may lose interest, give way under stress, or dismiss the change as insignificant. A big transformation creates excitement and energy and a sense of progress, and that helps to create a habit.
Anyone want to weigh in (pun intended) on this issue? Fast or slow?
Of course there are other factors to consider when it comes to losing weight fast or slow. Skin elasticity. Getting enough nutrients in a low calorie diet. Not injuring yourself exercising excessively. Taking up so much time and energy it interferes too much with the rest of your daily life.
I've mentioned carb cycling a couple of times over the past two weeks, but I haven't managed to get it going yet. Being sick has had a lot to do with that - I find simple carbs (like toast) are all I want to eat when my stomach is upset. (My weight is down to 81.7 kg today from 82.5 kg last Monday, which is nice, although I didn't enjoy the process!) My husband likes scrambled eggs when he is sick, which I don't understand at all. Yuck. When I am sick, eggs are the last things I want to smell. Stomach-turning.
So anyway, I've done a lot more reading about carb cycling (mainly from the website of Chris Powell "Choose to Lose") and I'm giving it another go starting tomorrow. I'm not starting today because I haven't been shopping yet, we're going out to dinner tonight before Jasmine's big dance concert, and Saturday is going to be my "free" day anyway. But I'm not waiting until Monday, first day of spring, either! Sunday will do just fine, and fits in with how I want the low carb/high carb cycle to run. And don't worry, I'm not doing a last hurrah binge today either.
I plan to copy Sean Anderson and take photos of all my food to keep me accountable. I'll talk a lot more about carb cycling as we go along, I imagine, but the basic premise is you have some low carb days (starchy carbs/fruit only at breakfast) and some high carb days (starchy carbs/fruit with every meal) so that you get the benefits of a low carb diet without the problems. There are different ways to alternate the days in different amounts. You also eat lots of non-starchy vegetables, and it's low fat especially on the high carb days. In the past I have found I lose weight when eating low carb, but couldn't handle the misery and crankiness - and wasn't much fun for my family either! I'm hoping this method will work for me without messing with my emotional health, if not obviously I'll stop it. You also get one free day, Saturday for me, or else three free meals throughout the week if you prefer, so you still get to eat whatever you like sometimes. Without going overboard, of course, if you want to lose weight!
I'm in that lovely excited state just before starting a new diet. Yay for honeymoon periods! As long as it lasts past the first morning.
To relate this back to the start of this post, I don't really intend to do carb cycling for the rest of my life. Unless I love it and it makes me feel great; there are modifications for maintenance, I think. I've downloaded Chris Powell's iPhone app which has a 12 week transformation challenge, and that is my current plan and goal. I want some fairly quick results to keep me motivated. If/when I get to my goal weight, I'll worry about how to vary my diet for maintenance then.
I will also be exercising, of course. Six days a week (Saturday off), walking and dance.
If you're wondering about where my professed love of cognitive therapy went, well I still plan to use that. Cognitive therapy isn't a diet, it helps keep you on your diet. I feel it did help me stick to my last one a lot longer than my usual record. So I'll be reading my flash cards again, reminding myself of all the reasons I want to lose weight.
The biggest reason? To get rid of my CPAP. Sleep without it by Christmas.
Sunday, August 17, 2014
What can I eat that will make me feel better?
Monday:
Apparently people without food issues don't look to food to solve problems that aren't hunger. Isn't that a weird thought? Whereas I (and I imagine a few of my readers) look to food to solve sadness, anger, tiredness, boredom, frustration, and even an upset tummy. And it does kind of work, in the short term.
Tim and I both still have this stomach bug that we'd thought we got over (twice). It's a bit annoying, although I feel ok most of the time. It certainly hasn't stopped me eating! In fact I eat to settle my stomach. But it has stopped me exercising. Funny, that.
I haven't been sticking to any kind of diet for a couple of weeks. That doesn't mean binging, but I haven't been worrying if something is fried, I have some dessert if I want to, I take a chocolate from my hairdresser's reception desk. Last Thursday I was 81.8kg, about the same as I'd been hovering around for a few weeks.
Then this weekend was absolutely horrendous in terms of unhealthy food. We had family staying. I provided desserts and snacks. My sister-in-law brought dessert and snacks. I actually started eating junk on the Friday before they even got here because me and chips in the house? How have I not learned yet that that is a problem? I indulged in everything while they were here. I ate some leftover cheesecake after they left.
This morning, resolving to start over and needing to know the worst, I got on the scales. 81.8kg. No change. I was puzzled but I'm not complaining! The body can be weird. It doesn't do what you expect.
I'm calling this a new diet, starting today. A new plan. The old one has been dead for weeks. I'm doing it this way because I find I do better during the honeymoon period of a new diet. New rules to follow. Some people are better off refreshing the same plan. I like having something new. I just want to stress that I'm am not looking for that one perfect diet that will quickly and effortlessly make the weight fall off. I just enjoy researching and planning a new diet, it gets me motivated again.
That said, I'm thinking about carb cycling. Intermittent fasting is popular at the moment but I can't do that, I feel awful if I try to fast (as I have done for charity - I didn't make it through the whole 40 hours - or for a shorter stretch for medical reasons) - sick, tired, headachy, trembly, miserable and irritable. How can anyone work through that or do anything other than lie in bed? Maybe it's because of my insulin resistance. I also can't do very low carb, I've tried that too and feel almost as bad as fasting, which makes sense because it's the carbs that affect blood sugar. On the other hand, I lose weight if I reduce carbs. And I feel just as sick, in a different way, if I eat too many carbs. Really sleepy and bloated.
Carb cycling, as I understand it, alternates days of low carbs with days of higher carb intake. You eat more protein on the low carb days and very little fat on the high carb days. It was apparently developed by body builders to strip off the fat layer before a competition so all their huge muscles would show better. For me, it would mean 1200 calories on Mon, Wed & Fri (low carb) and 1500 calories on the other days (high carb). As with any reasonable diet, there is a focus on lots of fruit and vegetables, lean meat, and "healthy" carbohydrate (ie not cheesecake). There is a formula for how many carbs and protein grams I should be eating based on my weight that could be a bit fiddly to translate into daily meals - but isn't that what I want? To spend time on the technical aspects? Worth a try.
Apparently people without food issues don't look to food to solve problems that aren't hunger. Isn't that a weird thought? Whereas I (and I imagine a few of my readers) look to food to solve sadness, anger, tiredness, boredom, frustration, and even an upset tummy. And it does kind of work, in the short term.
Tim and I both still have this stomach bug that we'd thought we got over (twice). It's a bit annoying, although I feel ok most of the time. It certainly hasn't stopped me eating! In fact I eat to settle my stomach. But it has stopped me exercising. Funny, that.
I haven't been sticking to any kind of diet for a couple of weeks. That doesn't mean binging, but I haven't been worrying if something is fried, I have some dessert if I want to, I take a chocolate from my hairdresser's reception desk. Last Thursday I was 81.8kg, about the same as I'd been hovering around for a few weeks.
Then this weekend was absolutely horrendous in terms of unhealthy food. We had family staying. I provided desserts and snacks. My sister-in-law brought dessert and snacks. I actually started eating junk on the Friday before they even got here because me and chips in the house? How have I not learned yet that that is a problem? I indulged in everything while they were here. I ate some leftover cheesecake after they left.
This morning, resolving to start over and needing to know the worst, I got on the scales. 81.8kg. No change. I was puzzled but I'm not complaining! The body can be weird. It doesn't do what you expect.
I'm calling this a new diet, starting today. A new plan. The old one has been dead for weeks. I'm doing it this way because I find I do better during the honeymoon period of a new diet. New rules to follow. Some people are better off refreshing the same plan. I like having something new. I just want to stress that I'm am not looking for that one perfect diet that will quickly and effortlessly make the weight fall off. I just enjoy researching and planning a new diet, it gets me motivated again.
That said, I'm thinking about carb cycling. Intermittent fasting is popular at the moment but I can't do that, I feel awful if I try to fast (as I have done for charity - I didn't make it through the whole 40 hours - or for a shorter stretch for medical reasons) - sick, tired, headachy, trembly, miserable and irritable. How can anyone work through that or do anything other than lie in bed? Maybe it's because of my insulin resistance. I also can't do very low carb, I've tried that too and feel almost as bad as fasting, which makes sense because it's the carbs that affect blood sugar. On the other hand, I lose weight if I reduce carbs. And I feel just as sick, in a different way, if I eat too many carbs. Really sleepy and bloated.
Carb cycling, as I understand it, alternates days of low carbs with days of higher carb intake. You eat more protein on the low carb days and very little fat on the high carb days. It was apparently developed by body builders to strip off the fat layer before a competition so all their huge muscles would show better. For me, it would mean 1200 calories on Mon, Wed & Fri (low carb) and 1500 calories on the other days (high carb). As with any reasonable diet, there is a focus on lots of fruit and vegetables, lean meat, and "healthy" carbohydrate (ie not cheesecake). There is a formula for how many carbs and protein grams I should be eating based on my weight that could be a bit fiddly to translate into daily meals - but isn't that what I want? To spend time on the technical aspects? Worth a try.
Tuesday, June 24, 2014
Revising calorie limits
Wednesday:
Two good things. Firstly, I got through games night last night only using the 200 extra calories I'd planned - half chocolate, half sour lollies. Big improvement on the past couple of weeks when I overdid it. And secondly Thor only woke once last night, around 4:30, so I am feeling a lot less zombie-like today. Yay! Although it was really hard to get out of bed this morning, my body wants more of this lovely sleep invention.
Not quite so good; I don't expect a loss this week when I weigh in tomorrow. Firstly, it is that time of the month which means water retention. And secondly, it is that time of the month so I want to eat more. And thirdly it is freezing cold here so I want to eat more. And fourthly I have been slacking off a bit on my daily cognitive therapy tasks - reaffirming why I want to lose weight, not reading while I eat, sticking solidly to my calorie limit without giving myself a choice about it. I just got a little bit complacent, I think, because it was feeling fairly easy. For the first three or four weeks I spent a lot of time each day concentrating on my weight loss; rereading my book and advantages card and planning healthy food etc. Without any conscious decision I just put less focus on it over the past week or so. I've still been doing pretty well, but a few extra calories have crept in each day, usually in mid-afternoon.
In the first Beck book she doesn't give you any diet guidelines to follow, she just helps you stick to whatever diet you have chosen. But the second book, which I bought recently, has the addition of a diet plan, some recipes, and a formula for working out how many calories you should be eating (which goes down when you lose weight). I was quite happy sticking to 1400 calories for the first few weeks, it seemed like the right amount to satisfy me as long as they were nourishing balanced calories. But the formula Beck uses says I should be eating 1800 a day, and that no one should go below 1600 (at least not without consulting a nutritionist, it's true it is very hard to get in all the national guidelines on dairy, fibre etc if you are eating less than 1600). And other people (hi Marion) have said 1600 is better. So now I'm not sure. I have been very hungry this week and I have had 1800 a couple of days but I was ok on 1400 before that. I think its hormones and the cold weather. Should I eat more in winter? I feel like I won't lose any weight on 1800, I haven't this week. But I don't want to keep trying for 1400 and failing because that feels bad. But maybe it won't be so hard the rest of the month. Arg.
I guess the sensible compromise is to increase to 1600 for this week and see how I go with hunger and with weight loss. If I don't lose any weight next week I'll have to rethink again. But I will try it, while refocusing my energy. It is worth the time and effort.
Two good things. Firstly, I got through games night last night only using the 200 extra calories I'd planned - half chocolate, half sour lollies. Big improvement on the past couple of weeks when I overdid it. And secondly Thor only woke once last night, around 4:30, so I am feeling a lot less zombie-like today. Yay! Although it was really hard to get out of bed this morning, my body wants more of this lovely sleep invention.
Not quite so good; I don't expect a loss this week when I weigh in tomorrow. Firstly, it is that time of the month which means water retention. And secondly, it is that time of the month so I want to eat more. And thirdly it is freezing cold here so I want to eat more. And fourthly I have been slacking off a bit on my daily cognitive therapy tasks - reaffirming why I want to lose weight, not reading while I eat, sticking solidly to my calorie limit without giving myself a choice about it. I just got a little bit complacent, I think, because it was feeling fairly easy. For the first three or four weeks I spent a lot of time each day concentrating on my weight loss; rereading my book and advantages card and planning healthy food etc. Without any conscious decision I just put less focus on it over the past week or so. I've still been doing pretty well, but a few extra calories have crept in each day, usually in mid-afternoon.
In the first Beck book she doesn't give you any diet guidelines to follow, she just helps you stick to whatever diet you have chosen. But the second book, which I bought recently, has the addition of a diet plan, some recipes, and a formula for working out how many calories you should be eating (which goes down when you lose weight). I was quite happy sticking to 1400 calories for the first few weeks, it seemed like the right amount to satisfy me as long as they were nourishing balanced calories. But the formula Beck uses says I should be eating 1800 a day, and that no one should go below 1600 (at least not without consulting a nutritionist, it's true it is very hard to get in all the national guidelines on dairy, fibre etc if you are eating less than 1600). And other people (hi Marion) have said 1600 is better. So now I'm not sure. I have been very hungry this week and I have had 1800 a couple of days but I was ok on 1400 before that. I think its hormones and the cold weather. Should I eat more in winter? I feel like I won't lose any weight on 1800, I haven't this week. But I don't want to keep trying for 1400 and failing because that feels bad. But maybe it won't be so hard the rest of the month. Arg.
I guess the sensible compromise is to increase to 1600 for this week and see how I go with hunger and with weight loss. If I don't lose any weight next week I'll have to rethink again. But I will try it, while refocusing my energy. It is worth the time and effort.
Friday, May 30, 2014
Off the rails and the difference a weigh makes
Saturday:
I finished last night's post too soon! I went off the rails, just a little bit, for the first time.
It started at dinner, really. Every time I sit down to eat, I want to pick up a book. I've been resisting this urge, but last night at dinner (with the kids, but Tim wasn't home yet as usual on a weeknight) I gave in. Not sure why. I first told myself no, then told myself I would compromise and read a bit after I had mostly finished eating, then just picked up the book. Should have been paying attention to my kids, I know! And shouldn't be distracting myself from what I am putting in my mouth.
Not a big deal, perhaps. Or maybe one divergence from the plan leads to another. Instead of eating my planned supper of fruit and yoghurt I was craving some carbs. So I had a small bowl of cereal with extra dried fruit. Then later two chocolate truffles. I still ended up under 1600 calories but I prefer to be closer to 1400. And the real issue is abandoning all the rules of my plan like that. That way leads to giving up and continued obesity.
I woke this morning feeling rather down. I was a bit scared to get on the scale, not because of that one slip last night but because my weight hasn't really gone down since those first two days of dramatic water-weight loss. For the past seven days it's been up a bit, down a tiny bit, stay the same, up a bit, hovering around the same place. I certainly don't expect a loss every day but it had been up more than down. I feel like these first couple of weeks I should be losing a bit, not plateauing already! But finally this morning it went down again! Yay. And I suddenly felt so much better. I can't let the number on the scale rule me, but it is good to know it is headed in the right direction again.
I finished last night's post too soon! I went off the rails, just a little bit, for the first time.
It started at dinner, really. Every time I sit down to eat, I want to pick up a book. I've been resisting this urge, but last night at dinner (with the kids, but Tim wasn't home yet as usual on a weeknight) I gave in. Not sure why. I first told myself no, then told myself I would compromise and read a bit after I had mostly finished eating, then just picked up the book. Should have been paying attention to my kids, I know! And shouldn't be distracting myself from what I am putting in my mouth.
Not a big deal, perhaps. Or maybe one divergence from the plan leads to another. Instead of eating my planned supper of fruit and yoghurt I was craving some carbs. So I had a small bowl of cereal with extra dried fruit. Then later two chocolate truffles. I still ended up under 1600 calories but I prefer to be closer to 1400. And the real issue is abandoning all the rules of my plan like that. That way leads to giving up and continued obesity.
I woke this morning feeling rather down. I was a bit scared to get on the scale, not because of that one slip last night but because my weight hasn't really gone down since those first two days of dramatic water-weight loss. For the past seven days it's been up a bit, down a tiny bit, stay the same, up a bit, hovering around the same place. I certainly don't expect a loss every day but it had been up more than down. I feel like these first couple of weeks I should be losing a bit, not plateauing already! But finally this morning it went down again! Yay. And I suddenly felt so much better. I can't let the number on the scale rule me, but it is good to know it is headed in the right direction again.
Sunday, February 9, 2014
Diet buddy
Sunday evening:
A friend of mine texted me tonight that she is starting a new health regime tomorrow (Monday always feels like a fresh start, doesn't it) and was looking for a diet buddy. I was already planning to start (again) so I said I would. She wants to lose 10kg in 2 months - I assume that is all she needs to lose, she isn't very overweight - but I am going to aim for 5kg in 2 months which I think is more achievable. Also I have 25kg to lose so I need to be in for the long haul.
I think having someone to be accountable to will help.
The plan is the basic idea of reducing junk food and exercising more. I have been very slack on both fronts all year so far. The only thing I've been doing well is increasing my water intake, and that is probably because of the extreme heat here. I've actually been really thirsty, which is unusual for me.
I've decided to get up half an hour early and do half an hour exercise, a minimum of four days a week (I have one early uni morning so not that day). And be more active on the weekends as well.
I've had heartburn nearly every evening this week, annoying. Not sure why, eating the same things as usual. And the clammy night sweats are increasing, even on cool nights. Hello peri-menopause. All the more reason to get control of my weight now. It only gets harder from here on.
A friend of mine texted me tonight that she is starting a new health regime tomorrow (Monday always feels like a fresh start, doesn't it) and was looking for a diet buddy. I was already planning to start (again) so I said I would. She wants to lose 10kg in 2 months - I assume that is all she needs to lose, she isn't very overweight - but I am going to aim for 5kg in 2 months which I think is more achievable. Also I have 25kg to lose so I need to be in for the long haul.
I think having someone to be accountable to will help.
The plan is the basic idea of reducing junk food and exercising more. I have been very slack on both fronts all year so far. The only thing I've been doing well is increasing my water intake, and that is probably because of the extreme heat here. I've actually been really thirsty, which is unusual for me.
I've decided to get up half an hour early and do half an hour exercise, a minimum of four days a week (I have one early uni morning so not that day). And be more active on the weekends as well.
I've had heartburn nearly every evening this week, annoying. Not sure why, eating the same things as usual. And the clammy night sweats are increasing, even on cool nights. Hello peri-menopause. All the more reason to get control of my weight now. It only gets harder from here on.
Tuesday, January 7, 2014
Not the best week
Wednesday:
So we're already a week into 2014. How are we all doing?
In terms of sticking to my health and weight-loss plans, I'm not doing so well. Still eating lots of extra junk, haven't really exercised since 1st Jan except a few minutes each day of standing on my wobble board. No valid excuses.
Major binge last night at our weekly Dungeons and Dragons snack-fest. Table full of junk food. Over the past eight years or so that we've been playing, occasionally one or more of us will decide we need to eat healthier and push for better foods, bringing fruit or maybe vegetable sticks instead of Doritos and gummy bears. It never lasts more than a couple of weeks. It's at my house, so even if I stopped playing, the food would still be there. I have sometimes, while "on a diet" resisted all the junk. That's never lasted more than a week or two either.
I know what healthy eating is, and this year I don't want to do any fad diets that are unsustainable. But the problem is, hard as I find strict diets, I find "just eat healthy" even harder. If it's ok to have a bit of some "treat", then it's ok to have a little bit more, and a bit more, and then a lot more. I want to have a relationship with food that doesn't involve banning some things or demonising them, but maybe a more relaxed attitude just isn't going to work for me.
I guess one possible solution is calorie counting - not banning any particular food but still having strict rules about how much in a day. I've tried it before, of course.
In the past three and a half years I've tried a lot of things.
I get discouraged having to write down all the terrible stuff I am eating, and give up.
I have PMS this morning. I'll feel more hopeful in a couple of days.
So we're already a week into 2014. How are we all doing?
In terms of sticking to my health and weight-loss plans, I'm not doing so well. Still eating lots of extra junk, haven't really exercised since 1st Jan except a few minutes each day of standing on my wobble board. No valid excuses.
Major binge last night at our weekly Dungeons and Dragons snack-fest. Table full of junk food. Over the past eight years or so that we've been playing, occasionally one or more of us will decide we need to eat healthier and push for better foods, bringing fruit or maybe vegetable sticks instead of Doritos and gummy bears. It never lasts more than a couple of weeks. It's at my house, so even if I stopped playing, the food would still be there. I have sometimes, while "on a diet" resisted all the junk. That's never lasted more than a week or two either.
I know what healthy eating is, and this year I don't want to do any fad diets that are unsustainable. But the problem is, hard as I find strict diets, I find "just eat healthy" even harder. If it's ok to have a bit of some "treat", then it's ok to have a little bit more, and a bit more, and then a lot more. I want to have a relationship with food that doesn't involve banning some things or demonising them, but maybe a more relaxed attitude just isn't going to work for me.
I guess one possible solution is calorie counting - not banning any particular food but still having strict rules about how much in a day. I've tried it before, of course.
In the past three and a half years I've tried a lot of things.
I get discouraged having to write down all the terrible stuff I am eating, and give up.
I have PMS this morning. I'll feel more hopeful in a couple of days.
Saturday, November 2, 2013
Trying little changes
Sunday:
Apart from my little slump the other day, I've had a happy and contented couple of weeks. I was so miserable on Whole30 that when I stopped the whole world seemed brighter. Everything was more pleasurable - I don't mean food (although that too), but things like cool brisk air when walking the kids to school or the smell of a lavender bush. I just appreciated everything so much more. No more headaches or endless fatigue was nice, but more importantly the depression was gone. Depression is not something to mess with, in my opinion.
So for a couple of weeks I was in between the two ends of the diet pendulum. At one end is eating everything in sight but feeling guilty about it, at the other end is restrictive dieting and feeling virtuous but in the end no able to sustain it. In between is relaxing, eating and behaving in a way that maintains my current weight. Or so I thought. After already deciding I need to take start working at it again, I weighed myself this morning and I'm up to 82 kgs. Why is loss so slow and gain so fast?
Time to get the pendulum swinging back to weight loss again.
The pendulum metaphor is sad because it is true. The harder I push in one direction, the faster I swing back the other way.
So instead of jumping on the latest diet fad bandwagon (which I do not because I am expecting to find the perfect miracle diet, but because I find a new diet exciting and motivating if only for a little while) I will try to make some small permanent changes and build on them.
I want to load myself up with new rules, but I am resisting that. Two things: drinking more (my fluid intake is always terrible and a constant struggle for me) and exercising regularly. When I've got a handle on those I will add more improvements.
Apart from my little slump the other day, I've had a happy and contented couple of weeks. I was so miserable on Whole30 that when I stopped the whole world seemed brighter. Everything was more pleasurable - I don't mean food (although that too), but things like cool brisk air when walking the kids to school or the smell of a lavender bush. I just appreciated everything so much more. No more headaches or endless fatigue was nice, but more importantly the depression was gone. Depression is not something to mess with, in my opinion.
So for a couple of weeks I was in between the two ends of the diet pendulum. At one end is eating everything in sight but feeling guilty about it, at the other end is restrictive dieting and feeling virtuous but in the end no able to sustain it. In between is relaxing, eating and behaving in a way that maintains my current weight. Or so I thought. After already deciding I need to take start working at it again, I weighed myself this morning and I'm up to 82 kgs. Why is loss so slow and gain so fast?
Time to get the pendulum swinging back to weight loss again.
The pendulum metaphor is sad because it is true. The harder I push in one direction, the faster I swing back the other way.
So instead of jumping on the latest diet fad bandwagon (which I do not because I am expecting to find the perfect miracle diet, but because I find a new diet exciting and motivating if only for a little while) I will try to make some small permanent changes and build on them.
I want to load myself up with new rules, but I am resisting that. Two things: drinking more (my fluid intake is always terrible and a constant struggle for me) and exercising regularly. When I've got a handle on those I will add more improvements.
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
What I weigh today: 77.9 kg
Thursday:
I cut out sugar and flour and salt last Thursday. Unfortunately it was one of the rare days I didn't weigh myself, but two days before that I was up to 79.6 kg so I am going with 79.5 kg as a starting weight. So:
Starting weight: 79.5 kg
Week 1: 77.9 kg
Loss: 1.6 kg
Total loss: 1.6 kg
Goal weight: 58 kg
I feel that is a great start. First week is always going to give the biggest loss, and I'm hoping for 0.5 -- 1.0 kg from now on. That is about six months. Wow, fit and healthy around my birthday!
I cut out sugar and flour and salt last Thursday. Unfortunately it was one of the rare days I didn't weigh myself, but two days before that I was up to 79.6 kg so I am going with 79.5 kg as a starting weight. So:
Starting weight: 79.5 kg
Week 1: 77.9 kg
Loss: 1.6 kg
Total loss: 1.6 kg
Goal weight: 58 kg
I feel that is a great start. First week is always going to give the biggest loss, and I'm hoping for 0.5 -- 1.0 kg from now on. That is about six months. Wow, fit and healthy around my birthday!
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Planning to fail
Thursday:
Last night as I was worrying about my diet and my husband's health, I was thinking about writing some plans on this blog but then thought, "But when I fail again that will be embarrassing." When I fail again. True, I've often laid out diet plans here and then haven't kept to them, but I can't let that stop me from trying again! Or making myself accountable by talking about it.
My resolutions this year were to drink more (water), exercise more and stick to my pre-diabetic guidelines of limited carbs. My track record so far isn't great, but it's time once again to turn it around.
I officially signed up for the Verti-cool challenge and I've done my exercise for today (an hour of Dance). I've eaten very healthily and drank lots of water. I can do it. I just need to keep it up.
Last night as I was worrying about my diet and my husband's health, I was thinking about writing some plans on this blog but then thought, "But when I fail again that will be embarrassing." When I fail again. True, I've often laid out diet plans here and then haven't kept to them, but I can't let that stop me from trying again! Or making myself accountable by talking about it.
My resolutions this year were to drink more (water), exercise more and stick to my pre-diabetic guidelines of limited carbs. My track record so far isn't great, but it's time once again to turn it around.
I officially signed up for the Verti-cool challenge and I've done my exercise for today (an hour of Dance). I've eaten very healthily and drank lots of water. I can do it. I just need to keep it up.
Saturday, December 29, 2012
Looking back and planning forward
Sunday:
With only one more day of 2012 to go it is time to look back and to plan for the future. I don't feel like I achieved anything this year. In terms of weight-loss, this morning I weighed exactly 1 kg less than on 1st January. Better than gaining weight, but it doesn't feel like much of an achievement. I have bursts of exercise that slump back to laziness as soon as I hit an obstacle, and I haven't stuck to any healthy eating plan I've started.
I was diagnosed with pre-diabetes in August, and while I have an occasional panic I haven't really done much about it.
My paid work continues much the same, I don't work very many hours so I don't earn much. For various reasons working from home for limited hours is the best option for me right now, and I think I am good at my job, but it is lonely and I think this affects my mood.
I've stopped almost all social activities. I rarely go to my writing groups, never to my editing society meetings, often avoid gatherings with friends and hardly ever get to see the friend I would really like to see because she has gone back to work and has less time.
I don't think I'm particularly nice to live with. I've been strangely moody and often irritable.
But I have control over almost everything in my life, so if I'm not happy then I can do something about it.
What is important to me?
My weight and health are high on the list and they are very much under my control. I am certainly not saying it is easy to lose weight, just under my control. As this is my weight-loss blog, I am going to focus on that one here. I know that being thin wouldn't suddenly make my life perfect, but being miserable about the way I look affects a lot of other things in my life so I think it will make a difference. And of course pre-diabetes is a big health issue.
How am I going to achieve a 20kg weight loss in 2013? Less than half a kg (about 1 pound) per week. I'll get back to you on that one.
With only one more day of 2012 to go it is time to look back and to plan for the future. I don't feel like I achieved anything this year. In terms of weight-loss, this morning I weighed exactly 1 kg less than on 1st January. Better than gaining weight, but it doesn't feel like much of an achievement. I have bursts of exercise that slump back to laziness as soon as I hit an obstacle, and I haven't stuck to any healthy eating plan I've started.
I was diagnosed with pre-diabetes in August, and while I have an occasional panic I haven't really done much about it.
My paid work continues much the same, I don't work very many hours so I don't earn much. For various reasons working from home for limited hours is the best option for me right now, and I think I am good at my job, but it is lonely and I think this affects my mood.
I've stopped almost all social activities. I rarely go to my writing groups, never to my editing society meetings, often avoid gatherings with friends and hardly ever get to see the friend I would really like to see because she has gone back to work and has less time.
I don't think I'm particularly nice to live with. I've been strangely moody and often irritable.
But I have control over almost everything in my life, so if I'm not happy then I can do something about it.
What is important to me?
My weight and health are high on the list and they are very much under my control. I am certainly not saying it is easy to lose weight, just under my control. As this is my weight-loss blog, I am going to focus on that one here. I know that being thin wouldn't suddenly make my life perfect, but being miserable about the way I look affects a lot of other things in my life so I think it will make a difference. And of course pre-diabetes is a big health issue.
How am I going to achieve a 20kg weight loss in 2013? Less than half a kg (about 1 pound) per week. I'll get back to you on that one.
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