Saturday:
Tim went over to his father's place to help him pull down a fence while I took the kids shoe shopping. It was a successful expedition, but there was a moment I found myself in a shoe shop sitting in front of the mirror. And realising (yet again) that I am so much more overweight than I think I am. I know I am overweight, but in my head it's maybe 10 kg, not 25! Mirrors at home somehow aren't as blatantly cruel as the ones in shopping centres. Or photos.
It didn't stop me having doughnuts with the kids.
We joined Tim for lunch with the family at his dad's place. It used to be that my sister-in-law Ping and I took it in turns to cook Sunday lunch (or dinner, depending on schedules), and for a while I was cooking every week because of Ping's early pregnancy all-day sickness, but now extended family are joining in and it's a much bigger gathering, and everyone is taking a turn. This is sometimes a problem for me as I don't always like what they cook, I was glad when it was bought rotisserie chicken and salad today! It's not just that I am a fussy eater (although I am) but several times the food has been inedible and not just by me. Burned, or curdled, or a huge pile of stone-cold mashed potato. Some can cook, but some can't. Or maybe they can cook for their little family but can't co-ordinate for so many people - that takes practice. Which I suppose they are getting now! Oh well, I can enjoy the company and pick at my food and try not to worry about my children starving. They are usually filling up on sugary fizzy drink.
I didn't get out for exercise today, I'll make sure I do tomorrow. My foot is no longer an excuse! It has turned colder again with sporadic rain but if I can't get out to walk there are plenty of active games at home on the Xbox or VR.
Showing posts with label food. Show all posts
Showing posts with label food. Show all posts
Saturday, August 20, 2016
Tuesday, June 21, 2016
Macros
Tuesday:
I think night sweats are worse in winter. At least in summer you dry out quickly. In winter you either get up and change your pyjamas or you get all cold and clammy. I wasn't keen on having a shower at 2am, but I probably would have been more comfortable for the rest of the night if I had.
The TV man came today. He got it going temporarily but has to bring a new part tomorrow.
I just coded my dinner in the Fitbit tracker and realised that it doesn't show any macros! How many carbs etc. Only calories in (and calories burned). Bummer. Since I don't find it comfortable and I'm not trying to beat my own walking record or anything, I might stop using it again. I prefer the food tracker I was using before, CalorieKing, which breaks everything down into protein, carbs etc. It's a Fitbit Charge HR, so if anyone knows something I've missed about how to see more info, please let me know.
Oh well, second healthy eating day in a row.
B: leftover broccoli cheese, tea.
L: satay chicken and vegetables with quinoa, tea.
S: apple.
D: beef fajitas (one mini tortilla, the rest in lettuce leaves).
S: vegetable soup.
... that Fitbit thing put me in a bit of a snit, I took it off (decided to charge it instead of tossing it in a drawer, but still) and went into a sulk and spent the rest of the evening wrestling with food. In my defence it is that time of the month (and with uterine fibroids, that time of the month is supercharged). So I ate some dark chocolate. Still within my calories, so tried to convince myself that I was still on my diet. Cashews. More chocolate. Cheese and crackers. Fail.
I think night sweats are worse in winter. At least in summer you dry out quickly. In winter you either get up and change your pyjamas or you get all cold and clammy. I wasn't keen on having a shower at 2am, but I probably would have been more comfortable for the rest of the night if I had.
The TV man came today. He got it going temporarily but has to bring a new part tomorrow.
I just coded my dinner in the Fitbit tracker and realised that it doesn't show any macros! How many carbs etc. Only calories in (and calories burned). Bummer. Since I don't find it comfortable and I'm not trying to beat my own walking record or anything, I might stop using it again. I prefer the food tracker I was using before, CalorieKing, which breaks everything down into protein, carbs etc. It's a Fitbit Charge HR, so if anyone knows something I've missed about how to see more info, please let me know.
Oh well, second healthy eating day in a row.
B: leftover broccoli cheese, tea.
L: satay chicken and vegetables with quinoa, tea.
S: apple.
D: beef fajitas (one mini tortilla, the rest in lettuce leaves).
S: vegetable soup.
... that Fitbit thing put me in a bit of a snit, I took it off (decided to charge it instead of tossing it in a drawer, but still) and went into a sulk and spent the rest of the evening wrestling with food. In my defence it is that time of the month (and with uterine fibroids, that time of the month is supercharged). So I ate some dark chocolate. Still within my calories, so tried to convince myself that I was still on my diet. Cashews. More chocolate. Cheese and crackers. Fail.
Wednesday, June 1, 2016
Winter
Wednesday:
First day of winter!
I had a better sleep last night (I think). I kept the CPAP on for 4.5 hours, only slightly more than the night before, but I did feel I slept more of the night. The CPAP still made my nose sweaty and itchy but not sore like the first night. Got to lose this weight so I don't have to use it any more!
I ate well today, except I got a bit impatient for dinner and ate a big hunk of cheese. But no junk food. My plan is to eat clean all through June. One month at a time.
First day of winter!
I had a better sleep last night (I think). I kept the CPAP on for 4.5 hours, only slightly more than the night before, but I did feel I slept more of the night. The CPAP still made my nose sweaty and itchy but not sore like the first night. Got to lose this weight so I don't have to use it any more!
I ate well today, except I got a bit impatient for dinner and ate a big hunk of cheese. But no junk food. My plan is to eat clean all through June. One month at a time.
Tuesday, May 3, 2016
Thirty six: let food be thy medicine
Tuesday:
I watched a Michael Mosley show last night (I'm doing his Blood Sugar Diet atm), the first episode of "Trust Me I'm a Doctor" where they look at widely held beliefs about health. They covered a few topics but the main one was about how to lower cholesterol and therefore heart disease. They talked to experts and did an experiment where they split some people with high cholesterol into three groups: one reduced saturated fats (animal fat, cheese, butter), one added oats every day, one added almonds every day. And Michael Mosley himself did all three! I think it was for three weeks. It was to see if diet was as effective as statins. The group reducing saturated fats and the group adding oats both had major improvements, cholesterol down around 9-13%. The almonds on average appeared to do nothing, but when they looked at individuals some had a big improvement but some got worse. So that one seemed to depend on the person. And MMs cholesterol was down by about 30% - so it seemed the three strategies stacked benefits! Pretty sure his at least was as effective as the statins he had been taking. Interesting that he has high cholesterol even though he is not at all overweight and presumably follows his own healthy Mediterranean diet plan.
There are online forums for the BSD diet I'm doing and some people (who have stuck to it better than I have) have had amazing results. Weight loss, but also reversing diabetes which is what the diet is designed to do. The received wisdom was that you can't reverse diabetes once you get past the pre-diabetes stage, and maybe that is true in the sense that if they went back to their old eating habits they would have the same high blood sugar problems, but on this diet they have normal blood sugars WITHOUT all the medication they had to take before. Diet is enough, if it's the right diet. Yet the authorities still tell diabetics and prediabetics to eat plenty of carbs, spread throughout the day, to keep blood sugar levels steady! And that diabetes is progressive and you'll have to go on more and more medications eventually. Well yes, if you keep eating lots of carbs! When I've stuck to the diet a bit longer and lost some more weight I'll have my blood sugar tested and see if it's helped me. I don't think that any diet is perfect for everyone, and I tend to be happier with some carbs in my diet, but so many people have improved their blood sugars I am trying to stick with it for the duration.
Another day of clean eating under my belt.
B: roast beef, cucumber, tea.
L: chicken, grapes.
S: Apple.
D: bolognaise with zoodles.
S: cashews.
I watched a Michael Mosley show last night (I'm doing his Blood Sugar Diet atm), the first episode of "Trust Me I'm a Doctor" where they look at widely held beliefs about health. They covered a few topics but the main one was about how to lower cholesterol and therefore heart disease. They talked to experts and did an experiment where they split some people with high cholesterol into three groups: one reduced saturated fats (animal fat, cheese, butter), one added oats every day, one added almonds every day. And Michael Mosley himself did all three! I think it was for three weeks. It was to see if diet was as effective as statins. The group reducing saturated fats and the group adding oats both had major improvements, cholesterol down around 9-13%. The almonds on average appeared to do nothing, but when they looked at individuals some had a big improvement but some got worse. So that one seemed to depend on the person. And MMs cholesterol was down by about 30% - so it seemed the three strategies stacked benefits! Pretty sure his at least was as effective as the statins he had been taking. Interesting that he has high cholesterol even though he is not at all overweight and presumably follows his own healthy Mediterranean diet plan.
There are online forums for the BSD diet I'm doing and some people (who have stuck to it better than I have) have had amazing results. Weight loss, but also reversing diabetes which is what the diet is designed to do. The received wisdom was that you can't reverse diabetes once you get past the pre-diabetes stage, and maybe that is true in the sense that if they went back to their old eating habits they would have the same high blood sugar problems, but on this diet they have normal blood sugars WITHOUT all the medication they had to take before. Diet is enough, if it's the right diet. Yet the authorities still tell diabetics and prediabetics to eat plenty of carbs, spread throughout the day, to keep blood sugar levels steady! And that diabetes is progressive and you'll have to go on more and more medications eventually. Well yes, if you keep eating lots of carbs! When I've stuck to the diet a bit longer and lost some more weight I'll have my blood sugar tested and see if it's helped me. I don't think that any diet is perfect for everyone, and I tend to be happier with some carbs in my diet, but so many people have improved their blood sugars I am trying to stick with it for the duration.
Another day of clean eating under my belt.
B: roast beef, cucumber, tea.
L: chicken, grapes.
S: Apple.
D: bolognaise with zoodles.
S: cashews.
Friday, April 15, 2016
Eighteen: bushwalk
Friday:
This morning Jasmine went off to bubble soccer with her friends (a school holiday activity where you get into a clear plastic bubble... and play soccer. Like a cola advertisement.) then straight on to a sleepover. So it was just me and Aiden for the day.
We did the grocery shopping, no junk except for biscuits that I don't like for when we have visitors, and Aiden didn't ask for a thing. I listen to other people's children having tantrums and relies just how awesome my kids are. After lunch we had some extra computer time and then went for a walk. We usually walk alongside the strip of bush land near our house, but this time we found a way in and followed a narrow trail that eventually joined a rocky fire trail (so emergency services can drive in to access bushfires). It was very steep in places! We ended up in a deep valley before turning back for home - all uphill.
You really can't see from the photo how steep this is - but Aiden went down part of it on his bottom to avoid slipping.
I ate well again today.
B: two poached eggs, cucumber, tea.
L: chicken, cheese, orange.
D: salmon, lentils, salad.
It was my second time ever cooking or trying lentils, the first time was a mushy disaster! This time a little undercooked perhaps (I have little to compare them too) but quite edible. And extremely filling. I softened onion, capsicum, celery and tomato in olive oil first, then added the lentils and some stock for 20 mins or so. With a few spices. Not up there in deliciousness, but not bad.
This morning Jasmine went off to bubble soccer with her friends (a school holiday activity where you get into a clear plastic bubble... and play soccer. Like a cola advertisement.) then straight on to a sleepover. So it was just me and Aiden for the day.
We did the grocery shopping, no junk except for biscuits that I don't like for when we have visitors, and Aiden didn't ask for a thing. I listen to other people's children having tantrums and relies just how awesome my kids are. After lunch we had some extra computer time and then went for a walk. We usually walk alongside the strip of bush land near our house, but this time we found a way in and followed a narrow trail that eventually joined a rocky fire trail (so emergency services can drive in to access bushfires). It was very steep in places! We ended up in a deep valley before turning back for home - all uphill.
B: two poached eggs, cucumber, tea.
L: chicken, cheese, orange.
D: salmon, lentils, salad.
It was my second time ever cooking or trying lentils, the first time was a mushy disaster! This time a little undercooked perhaps (I have little to compare them too) but quite edible. And extremely filling. I softened onion, capsicum, celery and tomato in olive oil first, then added the lentils and some stock for 20 mins or so. With a few spices. Not up there in deliciousness, but not bad.
Friday, February 19, 2016
Mental health day
Saturday:
Continuing to feel much better today. I woke early as usual, several times, but managed to get back to sleep and snoozed until nearly 9 which was wonderful. And for the first time in ages I had a dream where I was in control instead of helpless and frustrated. (I turned into a bull and trampled and gored my attackers.)
It could be unpredictable fluctuations in hormones, but the other thing that is different is that a couple of days ago I gave up on my diet and started to eat whatever I wanted. I don't think it's a huge change physically as I was failing on my diet anyway and eating plenty of treat foods all along - but it is a huge change mentally. I am no longer putting all my energy into resisting the lure of food, fighting temptation, exhausting myself trying to stick to my diet and feeling bad about failing.
The strange upshot of which is that after a couple of days of complete food freedom I'm feeling refreshed and ready to try again! Because I can't just eat whatever I like forever. That is what got me to sleep apnoea and pre-diabetes and diverticulitis etc. I have to find a plan that I can live with for the rest of my long healthy life. And I'm ready to think about that again. After only a couple of days, which surprises me. Normally I take weeks or months between healthy living attempts.
I'm considering continuing my healthy Mediterranean diet plan, which was as good as any I have tried (and was recently rated most easy to stick to, I read), but with a regular weekly "cheat day" but I hate the word "cheat". So a regular "indulgence day". Usually these days off are promoted by diet-inventors as a physical thing, to keep your body guessing. But for me it would be a mental health day, when I can relax and by eating whatever I want, ironically not have to think about food all the time. Enjoying dessert (without guilt) when the extended family gets together for dinner. Not stressing if Tim and the kids make muffins. Going to a café for brunch. Sounds like a lovely mental health day to me.
I am still deciding between a sort of "all you can eat" free day when I actively plan treat meals for the whole day, or alternatively a relaxed weekend when I still prepare normal healthy Mediterranean-diet-style meals but also allow some treats on both days (like a cheese platter with guests, ice cream at the beach, not trying to avoid every carb on the menu at a restaurant). Either way, I would be eating clean during the week.
And I'm going to dance my booty off. Literally.
Continuing to feel much better today. I woke early as usual, several times, but managed to get back to sleep and snoozed until nearly 9 which was wonderful. And for the first time in ages I had a dream where I was in control instead of helpless and frustrated. (I turned into a bull and trampled and gored my attackers.)
It could be unpredictable fluctuations in hormones, but the other thing that is different is that a couple of days ago I gave up on my diet and started to eat whatever I wanted. I don't think it's a huge change physically as I was failing on my diet anyway and eating plenty of treat foods all along - but it is a huge change mentally. I am no longer putting all my energy into resisting the lure of food, fighting temptation, exhausting myself trying to stick to my diet and feeling bad about failing.
The strange upshot of which is that after a couple of days of complete food freedom I'm feeling refreshed and ready to try again! Because I can't just eat whatever I like forever. That is what got me to sleep apnoea and pre-diabetes and diverticulitis etc. I have to find a plan that I can live with for the rest of my long healthy life. And I'm ready to think about that again. After only a couple of days, which surprises me. Normally I take weeks or months between healthy living attempts.
I'm considering continuing my healthy Mediterranean diet plan, which was as good as any I have tried (and was recently rated most easy to stick to, I read), but with a regular weekly "cheat day" but I hate the word "cheat". So a regular "indulgence day". Usually these days off are promoted by diet-inventors as a physical thing, to keep your body guessing. But for me it would be a mental health day, when I can relax and by eating whatever I want, ironically not have to think about food all the time. Enjoying dessert (without guilt) when the extended family gets together for dinner. Not stressing if Tim and the kids make muffins. Going to a café for brunch. Sounds like a lovely mental health day to me.
I am still deciding between a sort of "all you can eat" free day when I actively plan treat meals for the whole day, or alternatively a relaxed weekend when I still prepare normal healthy Mediterranean-diet-style meals but also allow some treats on both days (like a cheese platter with guests, ice cream at the beach, not trying to avoid every carb on the menu at a restaurant). Either way, I would be eating clean during the week.
And I'm going to dance my booty off. Literally.
Sunday, September 27, 2015
Our new house and all you can eat
Sunday:
We spent a couple of hours Saturday morning getting the old house ready for viewings, then drove to Sydney (in the new car) to see the new one. The idea was that we were seeing if we wanted to buy any of the furniture that the previous owners didn't want to keep. They are retiring to a small house and downsizing. It turned out that the only thing we really wanted, their kitchen table, they are taking with them. But we are buying their outdoor setting. For us, the visit was mainly about getting to see the house again - after all we'd only gone through it once! We thought we'd be able to look at everything in detail and plan where to put our furniture, and also take lots of pictures, but it didn't really work out that way.
We met the real estate agent outside. Here is the front door:
The previous owners were home (they are not moving out until just before we move in), a retired couple. They were lovely and friendly and very talkative and basically followed us around chatting. It made it a bit awkward, we didn't feel we could look around properly since all the other people's stuff was there and they were looking over our shoulders. No opening cupboard doors or anything like that. A few surreptitious pictures. The real estate agent left after a while, bored.
The wife, Michelle, followed me out into the garden and told me the names and needs of every single plant. There were two lovely shade umbrellas on swinging arms but it turned out those weren't for human use, they were to shade precious plants!
This is the outdoor setting we are buying from them. The kitchen looks out into this courtyard area.
I was also treated to lots of pictures of her grandchildren, and the birds that visit the garden. And I met one of the neighbours and their placid friendly golden Labrador dog. At least a lot of the conversation was reasonably relevant to us moving there. Tim wasn't so lucky. He ended up trapped in a corner hearing all about John's career (now retired). Occasionally he would politely excuse himself to go look in another room but then was pinned down again.
The kids had a great time roaming around the garden unsupervised. Half their luck. Oh well, we did get to see the house (and garden!!) again. And were able to reassure ourselves we'd made a good choice, which we were a bit worried about considering we kind of rushed the decision.
After that we went to Tim's brother's house. It was Nick's birthday so we went out to dinner at a Brazilian place. It was all-you-can-eat, the waiters constantly bringing huge skewers of various kinds of meat and slicing pieces off for you. Fun, but we (Tim and I, that is) didn't think the food was anything special. Rather bland dry meat. Luckily they also brought plenty of side dishes so there was salad and salsa and chips. There was also a floor show with drums and lots of feather head-dresses and bottom-wiggling, so that was fun.
Afterwards we got gelato nearby. I don't have the same passion for ice cream as Tim's family, I had a couple of bites of mine and gave the rest away.
We stayed at Nick's place. As usual, very poor sleep on the hard bed. Soon we will live near them, no more staying over!
You remember that block of land that we thought about buying? And I mentioned a cousin bought a block of land recently? It was that exactly block! Shouldn't be a surprise really, but I hadn't realised it was that block. Would have been funny if we'd all turned up at the auction.
The next day was a big Chinese moon festival (Nick's wife Ping is Chinese) to celebrate the harvest so we went out to lunch at a Yum Cha place. I rather like Yum Cha as long as the food isn't too weird (like chicken feet and beef tendons, euw) - the waiters endlessly loop the restaurant with trolleys of all different kinds of food. More all-you-can-eat!! I don't think I overate but it is quite hard to judge how much you are eating when you don't see it all together on your plate. Here is some of the food, for six adults and three children. We had a lot more food before/after this. I think abundance and hospitality are important for the festival. But no wonder we are all putting on weight.
Aiden wasn't impressed with the food so we got him a Subway sandwich afterwards. Then the long drive home, made dinner, collapsed from exhaustion. It was a big weekend.
We spent a couple of hours Saturday morning getting the old house ready for viewings, then drove to Sydney (in the new car) to see the new one. The idea was that we were seeing if we wanted to buy any of the furniture that the previous owners didn't want to keep. They are retiring to a small house and downsizing. It turned out that the only thing we really wanted, their kitchen table, they are taking with them. But we are buying their outdoor setting. For us, the visit was mainly about getting to see the house again - after all we'd only gone through it once! We thought we'd be able to look at everything in detail and plan where to put our furniture, and also take lots of pictures, but it didn't really work out that way.
We met the real estate agent outside. Here is the front door:
The previous owners were home (they are not moving out until just before we move in), a retired couple. They were lovely and friendly and very talkative and basically followed us around chatting. It made it a bit awkward, we didn't feel we could look around properly since all the other people's stuff was there and they were looking over our shoulders. No opening cupboard doors or anything like that. A few surreptitious pictures. The real estate agent left after a while, bored.
The wife, Michelle, followed me out into the garden and told me the names and needs of every single plant. There were two lovely shade umbrellas on swinging arms but it turned out those weren't for human use, they were to shade precious plants!
This is the outdoor setting we are buying from them. The kitchen looks out into this courtyard area.
I was also treated to lots of pictures of her grandchildren, and the birds that visit the garden. And I met one of the neighbours and their placid friendly golden Labrador dog. At least a lot of the conversation was reasonably relevant to us moving there. Tim wasn't so lucky. He ended up trapped in a corner hearing all about John's career (now retired). Occasionally he would politely excuse himself to go look in another room but then was pinned down again.
The kids had a great time roaming around the garden unsupervised. Half their luck. Oh well, we did get to see the house (and garden!!) again. And were able to reassure ourselves we'd made a good choice, which we were a bit worried about considering we kind of rushed the decision.
After that we went to Tim's brother's house. It was Nick's birthday so we went out to dinner at a Brazilian place. It was all-you-can-eat, the waiters constantly bringing huge skewers of various kinds of meat and slicing pieces off for you. Fun, but we (Tim and I, that is) didn't think the food was anything special. Rather bland dry meat. Luckily they also brought plenty of side dishes so there was salad and salsa and chips. There was also a floor show with drums and lots of feather head-dresses and bottom-wiggling, so that was fun.
Afterwards we got gelato nearby. I don't have the same passion for ice cream as Tim's family, I had a couple of bites of mine and gave the rest away.
We stayed at Nick's place. As usual, very poor sleep on the hard bed. Soon we will live near them, no more staying over!
You remember that block of land that we thought about buying? And I mentioned a cousin bought a block of land recently? It was that exactly block! Shouldn't be a surprise really, but I hadn't realised it was that block. Would have been funny if we'd all turned up at the auction.
The next day was a big Chinese moon festival (Nick's wife Ping is Chinese) to celebrate the harvest so we went out to lunch at a Yum Cha place. I rather like Yum Cha as long as the food isn't too weird (like chicken feet and beef tendons, euw) - the waiters endlessly loop the restaurant with trolleys of all different kinds of food. More all-you-can-eat!! I don't think I overate but it is quite hard to judge how much you are eating when you don't see it all together on your plate. Here is some of the food, for six adults and three children. We had a lot more food before/after this. I think abundance and hospitality are important for the festival. But no wonder we are all putting on weight.
Aiden wasn't impressed with the food so we got him a Subway sandwich afterwards. Then the long drive home, made dinner, collapsed from exhaustion. It was a big weekend.
Tuesday, August 4, 2015
It's who you know
Tuesday:
I was just thinking today about how influenced we are by the people around us. My father-in-law, for example, has put on a lot of weight since he got together with his current partner, who is very obese. I don't usually notice or care about other people's eating habits, but I couldn't help noticing that she seemed to eat twice as much as I would consider average, pretty much constantly or whenever food was available. I guess my father-in-law has started to take on her habits, because he has certainly gained a dangerous amount of weight. What we see around us every day seems to us to be normal.
I either eat alone - so I guess I make my own "normal" - or else try to keep up with my husband who exercises vigorously every day and is a man and therefore needs a lot more calories than I do.
I need to surround myself with people who eat small amounts, mindfully! I guess that's why I spend time in the dieting blogosphere.
Report card:
Diet: Poor.
Exercise: Ok, I moved around a lot more than the past few days. Still some lingering abdominal pain so took it easy, but not "sitting watching TV all day" easy.
Water: Ok.
Sleep: Poor.
Mental health: Good, enjoying not feeling sick.
PS Brandon if you read this I'm worried you haven't posted for a couple of weeks. Check in so we know you're ok!
I was just thinking today about how influenced we are by the people around us. My father-in-law, for example, has put on a lot of weight since he got together with his current partner, who is very obese. I don't usually notice or care about other people's eating habits, but I couldn't help noticing that she seemed to eat twice as much as I would consider average, pretty much constantly or whenever food was available. I guess my father-in-law has started to take on her habits, because he has certainly gained a dangerous amount of weight. What we see around us every day seems to us to be normal.
I either eat alone - so I guess I make my own "normal" - or else try to keep up with my husband who exercises vigorously every day and is a man and therefore needs a lot more calories than I do.
I need to surround myself with people who eat small amounts, mindfully! I guess that's why I spend time in the dieting blogosphere.
Report card:
Diet: Poor.
Exercise: Ok, I moved around a lot more than the past few days. Still some lingering abdominal pain so took it easy, but not "sitting watching TV all day" easy.
Water: Ok.
Sleep: Poor.
Mental health: Good, enjoying not feeling sick.
PS Brandon if you read this I'm worried you haven't posted for a couple of weeks. Check in so we know you're ok!
Monday, July 27, 2015
Leftovers
Monday:
Today I had to deal with a house full of leftovers. There were some proper food items, like the cauliflower soup and pulled pork I had for lunch; and some not-proper food items like the chocolate cake my sister-in-law brought and the cheesecake I made. We ate a little bit of cake (I finished the slice I started yesterday, it was too rich to have a whole slice) and threw the rest away, and we also finished the cheesecake for dessert tonight. Now we have some lollies like jelly snakes which aren't a big temptation for me, and some chocolate which I love but can be moderate with so I think I will be ok from now. That cheesecake was so good though, I just couldn't throw it away. All gone now. There is also still some of my delicious baked lemon chicken which we will all be having for lunch tomorrow, nothing wrong with that. I had some really good cooking successes on the weekend.
I did the grocery shopping this morning but was really tired today, worn out from the weekend I guess. I'm also still not sleeping well and struggling with my CPAP. No change there. I had a nap in the afternoon and also lay down for a while after my children got home from school. Headachy and tired.
We are planning to visit France sometime soon, probably early next year. We were talking about this year but then there has been the whole uncertainly of moving/not moving. Tim and I went to Paris as part of a European tour for our honeymoon. We went to the Moulin Rouge and Tim was called up on stage to be the ventriloquist's dummy! He always gets chosen when we go to a live show. He must have the right kind of face. Anyway, we both studied French back in High School (so long ago!) and Jasmine has been learning it this year. Jas and I downloaded an language-learning app tonight and have been practicing. It's a fun way to do it! I can only remember a few words and phrases from nearly 30 years ago so it's almost like starting again but a lot of words look familiar and I can kind-of do the accent. Richard if you're planning to comment in French remember I'm only up to "the cat is black" level! To remember that "chat" is a masculine word I have visualised a cat walking away from me with it's masculinity rather obvious... Newspaper is masculine so I picture a man reading one (no, not naked) but letter is feminine so the paper the letter is written on is pink... Learning another language is tricky! At least it has a lot of similarities to English. I used to study Japanese as well, that was much harder.
Report card:
Diet: Poor (real food plus cake and cheesecake).
Exercise: Poor (none).
Water: Ok.
Sleep: Poor.
Mental health: Ok.
It's another one of those days when my report card looks bad but I don't feel like I have been that bad really. Just tired.
Today I had to deal with a house full of leftovers. There were some proper food items, like the cauliflower soup and pulled pork I had for lunch; and some not-proper food items like the chocolate cake my sister-in-law brought and the cheesecake I made. We ate a little bit of cake (I finished the slice I started yesterday, it was too rich to have a whole slice) and threw the rest away, and we also finished the cheesecake for dessert tonight. Now we have some lollies like jelly snakes which aren't a big temptation for me, and some chocolate which I love but can be moderate with so I think I will be ok from now. That cheesecake was so good though, I just couldn't throw it away. All gone now. There is also still some of my delicious baked lemon chicken which we will all be having for lunch tomorrow, nothing wrong with that. I had some really good cooking successes on the weekend.
I did the grocery shopping this morning but was really tired today, worn out from the weekend I guess. I'm also still not sleeping well and struggling with my CPAP. No change there. I had a nap in the afternoon and also lay down for a while after my children got home from school. Headachy and tired.
We are planning to visit France sometime soon, probably early next year. We were talking about this year but then there has been the whole uncertainly of moving/not moving. Tim and I went to Paris as part of a European tour for our honeymoon. We went to the Moulin Rouge and Tim was called up on stage to be the ventriloquist's dummy! He always gets chosen when we go to a live show. He must have the right kind of face. Anyway, we both studied French back in High School (so long ago!) and Jasmine has been learning it this year. Jas and I downloaded an language-learning app tonight and have been practicing. It's a fun way to do it! I can only remember a few words and phrases from nearly 30 years ago so it's almost like starting again but a lot of words look familiar and I can kind-of do the accent. Richard if you're planning to comment in French remember I'm only up to "the cat is black" level! To remember that "chat" is a masculine word I have visualised a cat walking away from me with it's masculinity rather obvious... Newspaper is masculine so I picture a man reading one (no, not naked) but letter is feminine so the paper the letter is written on is pink... Learning another language is tricky! At least it has a lot of similarities to English. I used to study Japanese as well, that was much harder.
Report card:
Diet: Poor (real food plus cake and cheesecake).
Exercise: Poor (none).
Water: Ok.
Sleep: Poor.
Mental health: Ok.
It's another one of those days when my report card looks bad but I don't feel like I have been that bad really. Just tired.
Monday, June 29, 2015
Strong day
later Monday:
I've done well today. I went for a 30 minute walk in the afternoon and kept within my calorie limits (around 1400--1600, my Fitbit allowance varies depending on exercise). No junk, all healthy food. I had two afternoon snacks because I got really hungry. Or stressed? But kept it to real food, and tracked everything. And I have some vegetable soup simmering on the stove for if I start to panic about not being allowed any more food today or feel deprived that I only had two tacos.
Report card:
Diet: Excellent.
Breakfast: One slice of toast with peanut butter. Fresh orange. Tea.
Lunch: Chicken breast. Salad. Tea.
Afternoon tea: Fresh strawberries and Greek yoghurt. Tea.
Second afternoon tea: Small apple and some cheese.
Dinner: Two beef tacos with lots of salad.
Exercise: Good. 30 minute walk in the sun (also good for Vitamin D).
Water: Excellent. Ten glasses.
Sleep: Ok, and I used the CPAP. I've got my own CPAP brain back tonight, slightly adjusted, with continuous air pressure rather than varying, so that is good. But as discussed in the last post, lack of sleep may not actually be my problem. I've taken my Vitamin B12 tablet. A note on B12, because it comes from animal products I get plenty of it in my diet (vegetarians and especially vegans can have problems getting enough but I am most definitely a carnivore). Absorbing it is the problem, I may have something called pernicious anaemia -- the doctor mentioned this, I didn't just get it from the internet -- we'll see.
Mental health: Surprisingly good. While all these medical issues are scary, there is always a certain exhilaration to the start of a new diet when you feel like you have the motivation to tackle all your problems. Well, I find it so, anyway.
I've done well today. I went for a 30 minute walk in the afternoon and kept within my calorie limits (around 1400--1600, my Fitbit allowance varies depending on exercise). No junk, all healthy food. I had two afternoon snacks because I got really hungry. Or stressed? But kept it to real food, and tracked everything. And I have some vegetable soup simmering on the stove for if I start to panic about not being allowed any more food today or feel deprived that I only had two tacos.
Report card:
Diet: Excellent.
Breakfast: One slice of toast with peanut butter. Fresh orange. Tea.
Lunch: Chicken breast. Salad. Tea.
Afternoon tea: Fresh strawberries and Greek yoghurt. Tea.
Second afternoon tea: Small apple and some cheese.
Dinner: Two beef tacos with lots of salad.
Exercise: Good. 30 minute walk in the sun (also good for Vitamin D).
Water: Excellent. Ten glasses.
Sleep: Ok, and I used the CPAP. I've got my own CPAP brain back tonight, slightly adjusted, with continuous air pressure rather than varying, so that is good. But as discussed in the last post, lack of sleep may not actually be my problem. I've taken my Vitamin B12 tablet. A note on B12, because it comes from animal products I get plenty of it in my diet (vegetarians and especially vegans can have problems getting enough but I am most definitely a carnivore). Absorbing it is the problem, I may have something called pernicious anaemia -- the doctor mentioned this, I didn't just get it from the internet -- we'll see.
Mental health: Surprisingly good. While all these medical issues are scary, there is always a certain exhilaration to the start of a new diet when you feel like you have the motivation to tackle all your problems. Well, I find it so, anyway.
Wednesday, May 27, 2015
Waste
Wednesday:
Aiden was back to school today. I didn't have anything particular planned for the day and decided to stay home and not do much, and hope my brother would contact me. He often checks his email on Wednesdays. My uncle said he would go over today, but he is pretty annoyed about it. Darren has made himself almost completely uncontactable, and at such a time! And there was no guarantee that he would be home when my uncle went over there, or out of bed if he was home. He knew dad was very sick but hasn't contacted anyone for a week.
I didn't mention before, but of course we cancelled people coming over on Sunday night for Eurovision because I'd just found out my father died about an hour before they were due to arrive. I had mostly bought "real" food for snacks - a cheese platter with nuts and dried fruit, dips with vegetable crudités, chicken wings that I was going to prepare - but I did buy some chips and chocolate biscuits. The kids and I ate some of these that evening and I have broken down and eaten more chips since then. It's very bad for me to have this stuff in the house! I'm feeling particularly vulnerable at the moment with everything that is going on plus it is that time of the month, so I have strong feelings of being entitled to drown my emotions with food.
I just have no interest in stuff like weight loss at the moment. I'm not doing my shoulder physio either. I know this is less than ideal, but I think I need to accept that a week or two isn't going to make a big difference in the long run and not feel guilty about it.
Staying at home all day was probably a mistake. I couldn't do much planning because of not knowing when we have to head back to Shepparton for the funeral. I got a few things done but mostly sat around and felt sad and ate. Now I feel like I really wasted today. I didn't do anything I enjoyed, I just felt stressed and anxious. Sitting at home didn't help. I should have gone out and done something.
By mid-afternoon I was starting to really wonder about my brother. With dad sick, and knowing he was hard to get in touch with, why hadn't he contacted anyone? I was starting to think something might have happened to him. But he finally emailed and then called late in the afternoon. Uncle Greg had gone around in the morning and broke the news, which he didn't know. At least that is done now. But he'll have to keep in contact if he wants the details of the funeral when we get them.
Aiden was back to school today. I didn't have anything particular planned for the day and decided to stay home and not do much, and hope my brother would contact me. He often checks his email on Wednesdays. My uncle said he would go over today, but he is pretty annoyed about it. Darren has made himself almost completely uncontactable, and at such a time! And there was no guarantee that he would be home when my uncle went over there, or out of bed if he was home. He knew dad was very sick but hasn't contacted anyone for a week.
I didn't mention before, but of course we cancelled people coming over on Sunday night for Eurovision because I'd just found out my father died about an hour before they were due to arrive. I had mostly bought "real" food for snacks - a cheese platter with nuts and dried fruit, dips with vegetable crudités, chicken wings that I was going to prepare - but I did buy some chips and chocolate biscuits. The kids and I ate some of these that evening and I have broken down and eaten more chips since then. It's very bad for me to have this stuff in the house! I'm feeling particularly vulnerable at the moment with everything that is going on plus it is that time of the month, so I have strong feelings of being entitled to drown my emotions with food.
I just have no interest in stuff like weight loss at the moment. I'm not doing my shoulder physio either. I know this is less than ideal, but I think I need to accept that a week or two isn't going to make a big difference in the long run and not feel guilty about it.
Staying at home all day was probably a mistake. I couldn't do much planning because of not knowing when we have to head back to Shepparton for the funeral. I got a few things done but mostly sat around and felt sad and ate. Now I feel like I really wasted today. I didn't do anything I enjoyed, I just felt stressed and anxious. Sitting at home didn't help. I should have gone out and done something.
By mid-afternoon I was starting to really wonder about my brother. With dad sick, and knowing he was hard to get in touch with, why hadn't he contacted anyone? I was starting to think something might have happened to him. But he finally emailed and then called late in the afternoon. Uncle Greg had gone around in the morning and broke the news, which he didn't know. At least that is done now. But he'll have to keep in contact if he wants the details of the funeral when we get them.
Monday, April 27, 2015
Nice Monday
Monday:
I wasn't sure what this morning's scale would say, but I was down 0.1 kg since Friday so I guess I did pretty well on the weekend! No big sodium gain. It's even that time of the month approaching, so holding steady is excellent.
It is the last day of the autumn school holidays. The kids (and teachers) got today off, connected to the public holiday ANZAC Day which fell on Saturday this year. Odd that it's not a public holiday Monday for everyone, just state public servants. ANZAC (Australia and New Zealand Army Core) Day is the day we thank our military for their service and sacrifice. We didn't do anything particular - the official ceremony at the War Memorial is always at dawn which is a bit extreme for us - but my dad was in the Air Force when I was a child so I do take the time to think about it all.
I'm feeling very much on track today. I did half an hour of Fantasia this morning for my arms then went for a walk with the kids for my legs. I gave the kids the option of what to do on their last afternoon and after much discussion they chose watching a movie on Foxtel. I spent that time catching up on some work reading.
My food today (low carb day) means very little carbohydrate except for breakfast but I can have fat with my protein. Breakfast was one rasher of bacon, one egg, one slice of toast, one whole tomato, one cup of tea. Lunch was chicken wings and broccoli baked in the oven with lots of spices (chilli flakes, lemon zest, sumac, smoked paprika, garlic powder) and salad and a cup of tea. Afternoon snack a handful of mixed nuts, two cups of chicken and vegetable broth. Dinner steak and salad. Supper a piece of cheese.
Report card:
Diet: Great.
Exercise: Good.
Water: Excellent.
Sleep: Good.
Mental health: Good.
I wasn't sure what this morning's scale would say, but I was down 0.1 kg since Friday so I guess I did pretty well on the weekend! No big sodium gain. It's even that time of the month approaching, so holding steady is excellent.
It is the last day of the autumn school holidays. The kids (and teachers) got today off, connected to the public holiday ANZAC Day which fell on Saturday this year. Odd that it's not a public holiday Monday for everyone, just state public servants. ANZAC (Australia and New Zealand Army Core) Day is the day we thank our military for their service and sacrifice. We didn't do anything particular - the official ceremony at the War Memorial is always at dawn which is a bit extreme for us - but my dad was in the Air Force when I was a child so I do take the time to think about it all.
I'm feeling very much on track today. I did half an hour of Fantasia this morning for my arms then went for a walk with the kids for my legs. I gave the kids the option of what to do on their last afternoon and after much discussion they chose watching a movie on Foxtel. I spent that time catching up on some work reading.
My food today (low carb day) means very little carbohydrate except for breakfast but I can have fat with my protein. Breakfast was one rasher of bacon, one egg, one slice of toast, one whole tomato, one cup of tea. Lunch was chicken wings and broccoli baked in the oven with lots of spices (chilli flakes, lemon zest, sumac, smoked paprika, garlic powder) and salad and a cup of tea. Afternoon snack a handful of mixed nuts, two cups of chicken and vegetable broth. Dinner steak and salad. Supper a piece of cheese.
Report card:
Diet: Great.
Exercise: Good.
Water: Excellent.
Sleep: Good.
Mental health: Good.
Saturday, March 7, 2015
Sorting
Saturday (written Sunday morning):
I knew yesterday was going to be challenging but it turned out ok. We went to mum's house to go through some of mum's stuff with my brother. I felt it was my duty. The difficulty was that my brother is a hoarder. He didn't want to throw out anything. I basically had to pretend I wanted all of mum's clothes for myself. I filled up the car with bags of clothes that are all going to charity the moment I pass one of those donation bins. Couldn't fit any more in the car. So I left bags of old shoes, expired medication and old makeup, paperwork like "phone bills 1992-1999" - Darren may or may not get rid of them. He said he'll go through them, but a lot of times he was resisting throwing out stuff because he thought he would find a use for it someday. Typical hoarder. I've done what I could, on one trip at least. At least he was willing for me to take things if he thought I actually wanted it myself.
The really good part was that Darren seems to be doing much better than I expected. The house was clean and didn't smell at all, so maybe he's got some control over the food hoarding part. No more rotting food all over the kitchen! He says he's been having dinner at our Popa's house regularly too. He's still enjoying his part time barista work. So that is all really good. With his issues, I was expecting much worse.
Food yesterday wasn't great. There isn't much choice on the long drive, no towns, just fast food next to petrol stations. We had KFC for a change instead of McDonalds. I only had one piece, it was so greasy and horrible. Dinner was so much nicer. We went to the restaurant in our hotel but we were so hungry we had all three courses, very unusual for us. Really nice food. And a cocktail. I shared my dessert, but my stomach was really uncomfortable by the time we got back to our room. Like it was going to burst. Not a good feeling.
Bad night sleep in a hard hotel bed with a wriggly child.
I knew yesterday was going to be challenging but it turned out ok. We went to mum's house to go through some of mum's stuff with my brother. I felt it was my duty. The difficulty was that my brother is a hoarder. He didn't want to throw out anything. I basically had to pretend I wanted all of mum's clothes for myself. I filled up the car with bags of clothes that are all going to charity the moment I pass one of those donation bins. Couldn't fit any more in the car. So I left bags of old shoes, expired medication and old makeup, paperwork like "phone bills 1992-1999" - Darren may or may not get rid of them. He said he'll go through them, but a lot of times he was resisting throwing out stuff because he thought he would find a use for it someday. Typical hoarder. I've done what I could, on one trip at least. At least he was willing for me to take things if he thought I actually wanted it myself.
The really good part was that Darren seems to be doing much better than I expected. The house was clean and didn't smell at all, so maybe he's got some control over the food hoarding part. No more rotting food all over the kitchen! He says he's been having dinner at our Popa's house regularly too. He's still enjoying his part time barista work. So that is all really good. With his issues, I was expecting much worse.
Food yesterday wasn't great. There isn't much choice on the long drive, no towns, just fast food next to petrol stations. We had KFC for a change instead of McDonalds. I only had one piece, it was so greasy and horrible. Dinner was so much nicer. We went to the restaurant in our hotel but we were so hungry we had all three courses, very unusual for us. Really nice food. And a cocktail. I shared my dessert, but my stomach was really uncomfortable by the time we got back to our room. Like it was going to burst. Not a good feeling.
Bad night sleep in a hard hotel bed with a wriggly child.
Friday, September 26, 2014
Shark thoughts
Saturday:
We were supposed to drive to Sydney last night, a 3.5--4 hour journey, but because I was unwell we decided to wait until this morning and leave early. We needed to get there by 11 today. I went to bed at 7:30 last night, before the kids, to give myself the best chance. Unfortunately this morning I was still feeling sick, so they had to go without me. I am a bit disappointed, I'll be missing some fun stuff and I also worry about Tim having to do all the driving alone, but mainly just feeling sick. Not enough to need someone to look after me, I just need to sleep or watch TV, so I am fine with them going.
Today I have four thoughts about food circling like sharks:
1. I don't feel like eating much, just some toast and instant soup will do. We have those. Anything else will probably make me feel worse.
2. Being alone in the house means I can eat whatever I want without anyone knowing. Secret eating.
3. Secret eating is why I am overweight. I need to stop doing that.
4. I wasn't expecting anyone to be home this weekend (and was also too sick for past couple of days) and didn't shop, so there is hardly any food here. Tim has the car. I won't have a lot of choice about what I'm going to eat, unless I feel well enough to walk to the shops, which I don't.
Which takes me back to point 1. You'd think being sick would shut off all the other thoughts about food, but no. I use food as a panacea for everything. Including an upset stomach and sore throat which are part of my current symptoms. I am 100% a comfort eater. Tired, sad, bored, sad, happy, excited, anxious, queasy - food calms and fixes everything! Except it usually doesn't. Except bored. It always fixes bored. Because it's a party in my mouth.
Ok I'm rambling a bit now and I haven't even taken any medication.
We were supposed to drive to Sydney last night, a 3.5--4 hour journey, but because I was unwell we decided to wait until this morning and leave early. We needed to get there by 11 today. I went to bed at 7:30 last night, before the kids, to give myself the best chance. Unfortunately this morning I was still feeling sick, so they had to go without me. I am a bit disappointed, I'll be missing some fun stuff and I also worry about Tim having to do all the driving alone, but mainly just feeling sick. Not enough to need someone to look after me, I just need to sleep or watch TV, so I am fine with them going.
Today I have four thoughts about food circling like sharks:
1. I don't feel like eating much, just some toast and instant soup will do. We have those. Anything else will probably make me feel worse.
2. Being alone in the house means I can eat whatever I want without anyone knowing. Secret eating.
3. Secret eating is why I am overweight. I need to stop doing that.
4. I wasn't expecting anyone to be home this weekend (and was also too sick for past couple of days) and didn't shop, so there is hardly any food here. Tim has the car. I won't have a lot of choice about what I'm going to eat, unless I feel well enough to walk to the shops, which I don't.
Which takes me back to point 1. You'd think being sick would shut off all the other thoughts about food, but no. I use food as a panacea for everything. Including an upset stomach and sore throat which are part of my current symptoms. I am 100% a comfort eater. Tired, sad, bored, sad, happy, excited, anxious, queasy - food calms and fixes everything! Except it usually doesn't. Except bored. It always fixes bored. Because it's a party in my mouth.
Ok I'm rambling a bit now and I haven't even taken any medication.
Sunday, August 17, 2014
What can I eat that will make me feel better?
Monday:
Apparently people without food issues don't look to food to solve problems that aren't hunger. Isn't that a weird thought? Whereas I (and I imagine a few of my readers) look to food to solve sadness, anger, tiredness, boredom, frustration, and even an upset tummy. And it does kind of work, in the short term.
Tim and I both still have this stomach bug that we'd thought we got over (twice). It's a bit annoying, although I feel ok most of the time. It certainly hasn't stopped me eating! In fact I eat to settle my stomach. But it has stopped me exercising. Funny, that.
I haven't been sticking to any kind of diet for a couple of weeks. That doesn't mean binging, but I haven't been worrying if something is fried, I have some dessert if I want to, I take a chocolate from my hairdresser's reception desk. Last Thursday I was 81.8kg, about the same as I'd been hovering around for a few weeks.
Then this weekend was absolutely horrendous in terms of unhealthy food. We had family staying. I provided desserts and snacks. My sister-in-law brought dessert and snacks. I actually started eating junk on the Friday before they even got here because me and chips in the house? How have I not learned yet that that is a problem? I indulged in everything while they were here. I ate some leftover cheesecake after they left.
This morning, resolving to start over and needing to know the worst, I got on the scales. 81.8kg. No change. I was puzzled but I'm not complaining! The body can be weird. It doesn't do what you expect.
I'm calling this a new diet, starting today. A new plan. The old one has been dead for weeks. I'm doing it this way because I find I do better during the honeymoon period of a new diet. New rules to follow. Some people are better off refreshing the same plan. I like having something new. I just want to stress that I'm am not looking for that one perfect diet that will quickly and effortlessly make the weight fall off. I just enjoy researching and planning a new diet, it gets me motivated again.
That said, I'm thinking about carb cycling. Intermittent fasting is popular at the moment but I can't do that, I feel awful if I try to fast (as I have done for charity - I didn't make it through the whole 40 hours - or for a shorter stretch for medical reasons) - sick, tired, headachy, trembly, miserable and irritable. How can anyone work through that or do anything other than lie in bed? Maybe it's because of my insulin resistance. I also can't do very low carb, I've tried that too and feel almost as bad as fasting, which makes sense because it's the carbs that affect blood sugar. On the other hand, I lose weight if I reduce carbs. And I feel just as sick, in a different way, if I eat too many carbs. Really sleepy and bloated.
Carb cycling, as I understand it, alternates days of low carbs with days of higher carb intake. You eat more protein on the low carb days and very little fat on the high carb days. It was apparently developed by body builders to strip off the fat layer before a competition so all their huge muscles would show better. For me, it would mean 1200 calories on Mon, Wed & Fri (low carb) and 1500 calories on the other days (high carb). As with any reasonable diet, there is a focus on lots of fruit and vegetables, lean meat, and "healthy" carbohydrate (ie not cheesecake). There is a formula for how many carbs and protein grams I should be eating based on my weight that could be a bit fiddly to translate into daily meals - but isn't that what I want? To spend time on the technical aspects? Worth a try.
Apparently people without food issues don't look to food to solve problems that aren't hunger. Isn't that a weird thought? Whereas I (and I imagine a few of my readers) look to food to solve sadness, anger, tiredness, boredom, frustration, and even an upset tummy. And it does kind of work, in the short term.
Tim and I both still have this stomach bug that we'd thought we got over (twice). It's a bit annoying, although I feel ok most of the time. It certainly hasn't stopped me eating! In fact I eat to settle my stomach. But it has stopped me exercising. Funny, that.
I haven't been sticking to any kind of diet for a couple of weeks. That doesn't mean binging, but I haven't been worrying if something is fried, I have some dessert if I want to, I take a chocolate from my hairdresser's reception desk. Last Thursday I was 81.8kg, about the same as I'd been hovering around for a few weeks.
Then this weekend was absolutely horrendous in terms of unhealthy food. We had family staying. I provided desserts and snacks. My sister-in-law brought dessert and snacks. I actually started eating junk on the Friday before they even got here because me and chips in the house? How have I not learned yet that that is a problem? I indulged in everything while they were here. I ate some leftover cheesecake after they left.
This morning, resolving to start over and needing to know the worst, I got on the scales. 81.8kg. No change. I was puzzled but I'm not complaining! The body can be weird. It doesn't do what you expect.
I'm calling this a new diet, starting today. A new plan. The old one has been dead for weeks. I'm doing it this way because I find I do better during the honeymoon period of a new diet. New rules to follow. Some people are better off refreshing the same plan. I like having something new. I just want to stress that I'm am not looking for that one perfect diet that will quickly and effortlessly make the weight fall off. I just enjoy researching and planning a new diet, it gets me motivated again.
That said, I'm thinking about carb cycling. Intermittent fasting is popular at the moment but I can't do that, I feel awful if I try to fast (as I have done for charity - I didn't make it through the whole 40 hours - or for a shorter stretch for medical reasons) - sick, tired, headachy, trembly, miserable and irritable. How can anyone work through that or do anything other than lie in bed? Maybe it's because of my insulin resistance. I also can't do very low carb, I've tried that too and feel almost as bad as fasting, which makes sense because it's the carbs that affect blood sugar. On the other hand, I lose weight if I reduce carbs. And I feel just as sick, in a different way, if I eat too many carbs. Really sleepy and bloated.
Carb cycling, as I understand it, alternates days of low carbs with days of higher carb intake. You eat more protein on the low carb days and very little fat on the high carb days. It was apparently developed by body builders to strip off the fat layer before a competition so all their huge muscles would show better. For me, it would mean 1200 calories on Mon, Wed & Fri (low carb) and 1500 calories on the other days (high carb). As with any reasonable diet, there is a focus on lots of fruit and vegetables, lean meat, and "healthy" carbohydrate (ie not cheesecake). There is a formula for how many carbs and protein grams I should be eating based on my weight that could be a bit fiddly to translate into daily meals - but isn't that what I want? To spend time on the technical aspects? Worth a try.
Monday, June 30, 2014
Juggling calories
Monday:
My eating was a bit muddled today. I didn't have a morning snack so I was really hungry at lunch time. I had planned to eat 3/4 of a quesadilla while out shopping but I ended up eating the whole thing for a whopping 600 calories, and a lot more carbohydrate than I am used to eating in one go these days. Then I was uncomfortably full all afternoon and at nothing until dinner, when I was ravenous again. My calories for the day are fine, and for some people three big meals is preferred, but I really didn't like it. I alternated between too hungry and too full all day. I prefer three smaller meals and two or three snacks, getting mildly hungry each time and never overstuffed. I can go longer and get hungry, it's not usually an emergency (but sometimes my blood sugar drops and I feel awful and act confused or mean), but then I overeat and sometimes make bad choices in what I eat. I know what my personal needs are, and generally I plan my day better.
I've been really tired the past two days, falling asleep with the puppy on my lap if I sit still for long. I'm not sure why, Thor has been sleeping through until nearly time for us to get up anyway, and I've had my CPAP on all night. I have been a bit restless though. Sometimes I find the CPAP annoying in the early hours of the morning because it stops me moving around - I can lie on my back or my left side easily, anything else needs very careful positioning. Sometimes I get up to use the bathroom and then the CPAP suddenly seems very intrusive when I'm trying to get back to sleep.
Overall, though, I got through the day ok. I ate too much at lunchtime so I just moderated my calories for the rest of the day. I was very tired but I got the grocery shopping done and then had some nice quiet times with my puppy. It wasn't a bad day at all.
My eating was a bit muddled today. I didn't have a morning snack so I was really hungry at lunch time. I had planned to eat 3/4 of a quesadilla while out shopping but I ended up eating the whole thing for a whopping 600 calories, and a lot more carbohydrate than I am used to eating in one go these days. Then I was uncomfortably full all afternoon and at nothing until dinner, when I was ravenous again. My calories for the day are fine, and for some people three big meals is preferred, but I really didn't like it. I alternated between too hungry and too full all day. I prefer three smaller meals and two or three snacks, getting mildly hungry each time and never overstuffed. I can go longer and get hungry, it's not usually an emergency (but sometimes my blood sugar drops and I feel awful and act confused or mean), but then I overeat and sometimes make bad choices in what I eat. I know what my personal needs are, and generally I plan my day better.
I've been really tired the past two days, falling asleep with the puppy on my lap if I sit still for long. I'm not sure why, Thor has been sleeping through until nearly time for us to get up anyway, and I've had my CPAP on all night. I have been a bit restless though. Sometimes I find the CPAP annoying in the early hours of the morning because it stops me moving around - I can lie on my back or my left side easily, anything else needs very careful positioning. Sometimes I get up to use the bathroom and then the CPAP suddenly seems very intrusive when I'm trying to get back to sleep.
Overall, though, I got through the day ok. I ate too much at lunchtime so I just moderated my calories for the rest of the day. I was very tired but I got the grocery shopping done and then had some nice quiet times with my puppy. It wasn't a bad day at all.
Monday, May 12, 2014
Alive!
Tuesday:
Today I am totally feeling like a human again instead of a zombie snot-machine! Yay! I won't be running a 5k, but I was able to walk the kids to school and I will get back into my writing instead of staring blankly at the TV all day.
It was my twelfth wedding anniversary yesterday. Happy anniversary darling!
I did remember to weigh myself yesterday, 83.9kg (down from 84.8 the week before, my peak of 85 the week before that). I'm determined to keep that downward trend going even now my appetite is coming back.
I was thinking last night about how my beliefs about what I like eating haven't really kept up with the reality. I don't know if this is influenced by a physical addiction to some foods (it is fairly well accepted now that sugar is addictive but that is not my demon, and I've never heard of a salt/fat addiction) or if it is a psychological thing - I have enjoyed foods in the past so I expect to still enjoy them even though a big part of me knows I won't. Or is it that I am just stuck in a mental rut where I take the junk food automatically?
As an example; say I am craving some fresh fruit. I'm a bit thirsty and maybe I've eaten something fatty that makes the idea of a crispy juicy apple really appealing to freshen my mouth. Put a great looking apple in front of me beside a packet of salty fatty chips and I will likely still take the chips. Even though I don't really want them. I don't really understand this behaviour, but it needs to stop. It's ridiculous.
This is probably just classic comfort eating - using types of food that actually make me feel worse in a mistaken idea that they will make me feel better somehow.
So I am working on telling myself "I don't really like that food" (if that is true) or "I don't really want that right now."
Twenty years ago I enjoyed sugary soft drinks and cordials. Gradually I found them too sweet and started reducing my consumption. Now my favourite drink is cold water with a squeeze of lemon juice. I am not being virtuous in drinking this, I am not making a sacrifice of taste vs health. I genuinely like it the best and find sugary drinks nasty. I want to get to that place with some other foods that I still eat even though I no longer enjoy them much or enjoy but feel sick if I have too much. To recognise what I really want and go for that instead of automatically taking the unhealthiest option. Eat the apple, dammit!
Today I am totally feeling like a human again instead of a zombie snot-machine! Yay! I won't be running a 5k, but I was able to walk the kids to school and I will get back into my writing instead of staring blankly at the TV all day.
It was my twelfth wedding anniversary yesterday. Happy anniversary darling!
I did remember to weigh myself yesterday, 83.9kg (down from 84.8 the week before, my peak of 85 the week before that). I'm determined to keep that downward trend going even now my appetite is coming back.
I was thinking last night about how my beliefs about what I like eating haven't really kept up with the reality. I don't know if this is influenced by a physical addiction to some foods (it is fairly well accepted now that sugar is addictive but that is not my demon, and I've never heard of a salt/fat addiction) or if it is a psychological thing - I have enjoyed foods in the past so I expect to still enjoy them even though a big part of me knows I won't. Or is it that I am just stuck in a mental rut where I take the junk food automatically?
As an example; say I am craving some fresh fruit. I'm a bit thirsty and maybe I've eaten something fatty that makes the idea of a crispy juicy apple really appealing to freshen my mouth. Put a great looking apple in front of me beside a packet of salty fatty chips and I will likely still take the chips. Even though I don't really want them. I don't really understand this behaviour, but it needs to stop. It's ridiculous.
This is probably just classic comfort eating - using types of food that actually make me feel worse in a mistaken idea that they will make me feel better somehow.
So I am working on telling myself "I don't really like that food" (if that is true) or "I don't really want that right now."
Twenty years ago I enjoyed sugary soft drinks and cordials. Gradually I found them too sweet and started reducing my consumption. Now my favourite drink is cold water with a squeeze of lemon juice. I am not being virtuous in drinking this, I am not making a sacrifice of taste vs health. I genuinely like it the best and find sugary drinks nasty. I want to get to that place with some other foods that I still eat even though I no longer enjoy them much or enjoy but feel sick if I have too much. To recognise what I really want and go for that instead of automatically taking the unhealthiest option. Eat the apple, dammit!
Thursday, December 12, 2013
Emotional eating
Friday:
I am very much aware that I am an emotional eater, primarily reacting to boredom and tiredness but also (I would have said) stress. I don't eat so much when happily busy, and I've never had a problem with big celebrations like Christmas because I actually eat less when around lots of people and chatting and cooking and everything else. I am much more likely to overeat when alone, bingeing on a bag of chips in front of the TV.
I would have thought that all the stress and worry about my mum would have pushed me towards overeating but it's had the opposite affect. Even though I've had fast food a several times and dessert at my sister-in-law's and lots of access to Christmas treats, and I've been sleeping really badly which would usually be another trigger, I actually lost nearly a kilogram in that first week. When we had McDonald's recently while travelling I got my usual order but then only ate half of it, and that has been my pattern lately. I have to remember to have a snack to manage my blood sugar. I just haven't been much interested in eating.
Then of course the past few days I've been quite sick and I lost a lot more (I'm sure temporary) weight, yesterday morning I was down to 80kg. So I've lost about 2.5kg (5.5 pounds) in a week and a half.
Of course the irony is that the reasons for me losing the weight are totally not worth the result. Any other time I'd be so excited to lose weight so rapidly. But not now.
I am quite a lot better today, up to eating a whole piece of toast for breakfast this morning and able to walk the kids to school (well, halfway, I got them across the road then they walked the rest of the way without me). I'm pretty sure I'll be able to get out this afternoon to do the grocery shopping and return our overdue library books. Trying to mainly take it easy though, and not think about the 50 million things I need to be doing in the lead up to Christmas. At least we aren't hosting this year!
I am very much aware that I am an emotional eater, primarily reacting to boredom and tiredness but also (I would have said) stress. I don't eat so much when happily busy, and I've never had a problem with big celebrations like Christmas because I actually eat less when around lots of people and chatting and cooking and everything else. I am much more likely to overeat when alone, bingeing on a bag of chips in front of the TV.
I would have thought that all the stress and worry about my mum would have pushed me towards overeating but it's had the opposite affect. Even though I've had fast food a several times and dessert at my sister-in-law's and lots of access to Christmas treats, and I've been sleeping really badly which would usually be another trigger, I actually lost nearly a kilogram in that first week. When we had McDonald's recently while travelling I got my usual order but then only ate half of it, and that has been my pattern lately. I have to remember to have a snack to manage my blood sugar. I just haven't been much interested in eating.
Then of course the past few days I've been quite sick and I lost a lot more (I'm sure temporary) weight, yesterday morning I was down to 80kg. So I've lost about 2.5kg (5.5 pounds) in a week and a half.
Of course the irony is that the reasons for me losing the weight are totally not worth the result. Any other time I'd be so excited to lose weight so rapidly. But not now.
I am quite a lot better today, up to eating a whole piece of toast for breakfast this morning and able to walk the kids to school (well, halfway, I got them across the road then they walked the rest of the way without me). I'm pretty sure I'll be able to get out this afternoon to do the grocery shopping and return our overdue library books. Trying to mainly take it easy though, and not think about the 50 million things I need to be doing in the lead up to Christmas. At least we aren't hosting this year!
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
Rhesus monkeys and tape worms
more Thursday:
I was just reading about a study on longevity via calorie restriction in rhesus monkeys. The monkeys on a 30% lower calorie diet definitely live longer than those in the control group. But:
"Canto [in the low calorie group] looks drawn, weary, ashen and miserable in his thinness, mouth slightly agape, features pinched, eyes blank ... Well-fed Owen, by contrast, is a happy camper with a wry smile, every inch the laid-back simian, plump, eyes twinkling, full mouth relaxed, skin glowing ... Canto looks like he's itching to be put out of his misery." (Roger Cohen, "The Meaning of Life:, New York Times, 19 July 2009)
The study was about living longer, but applies to weight loss too. I don't agree with any method that makes you utterly miserable while you are doing it.
On "The Doctors" TV show today a model, who had been told she could stand to lose a couple of inches around her waist, asked if the tape worm diet worked and was safe. They showed her a real (very long) tape worm and basically said any weight loss from having one in your intestine was because you feel so nauseous all the time you don't want to eat. I know models make their living from being thin, but really? A tape worm? Apparently it's a "thing" now, she didn't just make it up herself.
Another thing I've heard of is having a tube put down your nose into your stomach so you don't have to worry about eating at all. Just pour down the necessary formulations. Yummy.
Yes I want to lose 20kg, but I can't imagine being driven to these extremes. There must be some very unhappy people out there.
Some dieters prefer to eat fairly bland foods, not just because they are the healthy ones (in some opinions) but because it takes their focus off food. They find it is better for them to enjoy food as little as possible. It is completely the opposite for me. If I have a meal that is bland or disappointing, I am much more inclined to cruise around looking for something to satisfy my need for tasty food, no matter how full I am. If I have a delicious meal with a lot of flavour and zing then I am happy and feel content, and don't need to look for that hit of taste from more food. You don't need a lot of fat to achieve a good taste (a little bit does help), you can do a lot with spices. I am really starting to work out some things about myself, how I tick. Your mileage may vary.
Now there is a thought. I love fried chicken, but obviously it's not something I'm eating at the moment. I wonder if I could do an approximation of the taste with a lot of herbs and spices, a chicken breast, and a teaspoon of olive oil.
I was just reading about a study on longevity via calorie restriction in rhesus monkeys. The monkeys on a 30% lower calorie diet definitely live longer than those in the control group. But:
"Canto [in the low calorie group] looks drawn, weary, ashen and miserable in his thinness, mouth slightly agape, features pinched, eyes blank ... Well-fed Owen, by contrast, is a happy camper with a wry smile, every inch the laid-back simian, plump, eyes twinkling, full mouth relaxed, skin glowing ... Canto looks like he's itching to be put out of his misery." (Roger Cohen, "The Meaning of Life:, New York Times, 19 July 2009)
The study was about living longer, but applies to weight loss too. I don't agree with any method that makes you utterly miserable while you are doing it.
On "The Doctors" TV show today a model, who had been told she could stand to lose a couple of inches around her waist, asked if the tape worm diet worked and was safe. They showed her a real (very long) tape worm and basically said any weight loss from having one in your intestine was because you feel so nauseous all the time you don't want to eat. I know models make their living from being thin, but really? A tape worm? Apparently it's a "thing" now, she didn't just make it up herself.
Another thing I've heard of is having a tube put down your nose into your stomach so you don't have to worry about eating at all. Just pour down the necessary formulations. Yummy.
Yes I want to lose 20kg, but I can't imagine being driven to these extremes. There must be some very unhappy people out there.
Some dieters prefer to eat fairly bland foods, not just because they are the healthy ones (in some opinions) but because it takes their focus off food. They find it is better for them to enjoy food as little as possible. It is completely the opposite for me. If I have a meal that is bland or disappointing, I am much more inclined to cruise around looking for something to satisfy my need for tasty food, no matter how full I am. If I have a delicious meal with a lot of flavour and zing then I am happy and feel content, and don't need to look for that hit of taste from more food. You don't need a lot of fat to achieve a good taste (a little bit does help), you can do a lot with spices. I am really starting to work out some things about myself, how I tick. Your mileage may vary.
Now there is a thought. I love fried chicken, but obviously it's not something I'm eating at the moment. I wonder if I could do an approximation of the taste with a lot of herbs and spices, a chicken breast, and a teaspoon of olive oil.
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
Turning to nourishment, not comfort
Wednesday:
I have been letting being unwell affect my weight loss efforts too much. Sure, exercising is probably out no matter how motivated I get myself (even walking the kids to school this morning was a bit of an effort) but I am eating all sorts of junk - way worse than normal. And it is showing in my "fat" jeans that SHOULD be a size too big but right now are feeling pretty comfortable.
Of course eating junk is not helping me get better either!
So today I am turning that around and eating foods that nourish me instead of temporarily comfort me.
I've made some vegetable soup with a dash of chilli flakes, so I'll go and have a cup of that now for my morning tea.
I have been letting being unwell affect my weight loss efforts too much. Sure, exercising is probably out no matter how motivated I get myself (even walking the kids to school this morning was a bit of an effort) but I am eating all sorts of junk - way worse than normal. And it is showing in my "fat" jeans that SHOULD be a size too big but right now are feeling pretty comfortable.
Of course eating junk is not helping me get better either!
So today I am turning that around and eating foods that nourish me instead of temporarily comfort me.
I've made some vegetable soup with a dash of chilli flakes, so I'll go and have a cup of that now for my morning tea.
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