Tuesday:
PMS plus post-flu sadness has left me rather down today. It was supposed to be a lovely summery day; and although it isn't cold, it's grey and gloomy. Tomorrow is still forecast as hot - but windy, so I don't know if that is any better. We've been using the pool heater for the past three days which has definitely taken the chill out of the water (the best we could hope for at this time of year, considering we turn it off at night and don't have a pool blanket) in hopes of being able to try out the new pool tomorrow. I haven't been in yet. We'll see.
I spent the whole day studying. No motivation to exercise or go outside, except to water the turf again. It all seems to have survived the first week, which is good. The vegetable seedlings all look healthy too.
Headachy and cranky. I'll get over it.
Showing posts with label PMS. Show all posts
Showing posts with label PMS. Show all posts
Monday, September 11, 2017
Friday, December 30, 2016
Last day of 2016
Saturday:
Can't believe it's the last day of 2016. Happy New Year's Eve to everyone. (Is that a thing, or only "Happy New Year" tomorrow?)
I'm not going to talk too much about resolutions, hopes and dreams etc today because I've been sleeping really badly in the heat so I'm tired and headachy, and also have PMS so basically whatever I tried to say would probably come out as "life sucks and I'm a failure". Maybe I'll talk about that stuff tomorrow!
We've had a bit of a heatwave here. Day before yesterday I refused to leave the house (and air conditioning) at all, yesterday Tim convinced me that the movies would be nice and cool so we went out in the afternoon. I'd already done the grocery shopping in the morning, it was pretty hot. When we got to the movies we found that everything was sold out - we often buy tickets online ahead of time but for some reason yesterday we didn't. So that was a fail. We decided to buy some books Jasmine and I wanted while we were there (no bookshop at the local shops near us, this was a much bigger complex). They kept making announcements over the loudspeaker that the power was out in some parts of the complex, some shops were closed I think because their registers weren't working. We had to go to both bookshops to find the three books we wanted but were successful eventually.
But then I decided to use my gift voucher at a kitchenware shop to buy a spiraliser (turns vegetables into spaghetti). They put through the purchase with the voucher then I said "isn't there 20% off everything?" which they hadn't done. This put everyone into a panic! The check out girl didn't know how to reverse it when using a gift voucher, the other girl didn't, the person they called gave instructions over the phone which didn't help, finally an older woman came back from her break and issued me with a new gift card that supposedly has the rest of the money on it, I have no way of knowing and from the fuss and panic I am not that sanguine. I was there a really long time during all this, dripping sweat (maybe air con was one of the things not working with the power problem), kids bored, husband carrying the slumped ten-year-old like he was three, queue built up behind me. It really felt like we should have stayed home! But I got my spiraliser in the end and love it, made zucchini (courgette) and carrot noodles last night.
Today we arranged to go and see my grandfather, Poppa. We didn't see him at Christmas this year due to that side of the family being scattered to the four winds. Poppa is 98, still lives in his own home alone and looks after himself with only minimal help from son and daughter-in-law who live across the road. I love my Poppa, but admit I was dreading the visit just a little because he is pretty deaf now. Also very hot today. But it turned out fine. Two sets of aunts and uncles were also there so there was plenty of chat around the table. It's an hour drive each way so we don't "pop over" often but should definitely go more than we have been.
Tonight we aren't involved in a big NYE party, we've invited some family over but with all the new babies in the family I don't know if anyone will stay until midnight. I never stay up that late anyway! Tim wants to let the kids stay up this year, Jasmine would be fine but I think Aiden will get very tired. We'll see.
Happy NYE everyone, I hope you have a good night and that the new year starts well for you tomorrow.
Can't believe it's the last day of 2016. Happy New Year's Eve to everyone. (Is that a thing, or only "Happy New Year" tomorrow?)
I'm not going to talk too much about resolutions, hopes and dreams etc today because I've been sleeping really badly in the heat so I'm tired and headachy, and also have PMS so basically whatever I tried to say would probably come out as "life sucks and I'm a failure". Maybe I'll talk about that stuff tomorrow!
We've had a bit of a heatwave here. Day before yesterday I refused to leave the house (and air conditioning) at all, yesterday Tim convinced me that the movies would be nice and cool so we went out in the afternoon. I'd already done the grocery shopping in the morning, it was pretty hot. When we got to the movies we found that everything was sold out - we often buy tickets online ahead of time but for some reason yesterday we didn't. So that was a fail. We decided to buy some books Jasmine and I wanted while we were there (no bookshop at the local shops near us, this was a much bigger complex). They kept making announcements over the loudspeaker that the power was out in some parts of the complex, some shops were closed I think because their registers weren't working. We had to go to both bookshops to find the three books we wanted but were successful eventually.
But then I decided to use my gift voucher at a kitchenware shop to buy a spiraliser (turns vegetables into spaghetti). They put through the purchase with the voucher then I said "isn't there 20% off everything?" which they hadn't done. This put everyone into a panic! The check out girl didn't know how to reverse it when using a gift voucher, the other girl didn't, the person they called gave instructions over the phone which didn't help, finally an older woman came back from her break and issued me with a new gift card that supposedly has the rest of the money on it, I have no way of knowing and from the fuss and panic I am not that sanguine. I was there a really long time during all this, dripping sweat (maybe air con was one of the things not working with the power problem), kids bored, husband carrying the slumped ten-year-old like he was three, queue built up behind me. It really felt like we should have stayed home! But I got my spiraliser in the end and love it, made zucchini (courgette) and carrot noodles last night.
Today we arranged to go and see my grandfather, Poppa. We didn't see him at Christmas this year due to that side of the family being scattered to the four winds. Poppa is 98, still lives in his own home alone and looks after himself with only minimal help from son and daughter-in-law who live across the road. I love my Poppa, but admit I was dreading the visit just a little because he is pretty deaf now. Also very hot today. But it turned out fine. Two sets of aunts and uncles were also there so there was plenty of chat around the table. It's an hour drive each way so we don't "pop over" often but should definitely go more than we have been.
Tonight we aren't involved in a big NYE party, we've invited some family over but with all the new babies in the family I don't know if anyone will stay until midnight. I never stay up that late anyway! Tim wants to let the kids stay up this year, Jasmine would be fine but I think Aiden will get very tired. We'll see.
Happy NYE everyone, I hope you have a good night and that the new year starts well for you tomorrow.
Sunday, September 11, 2016
Comicon
Saturday:
Today we had visitors from Canberra. Tim regularly skypes with his friend there but I hadn't seen them since we moved. They planned to come over "in the morning" (arg! I need more detail than that!) but at 11 they called and said "lunchtime". So we spent a lot of the day sort of waiting around. At least the house is now very clean! And when they arrived we had a nice chat over lunch and then played Boggle while the kids used the Virtual Reality headset. I lost every round, you'd think a writer could hold their own against a physicist and a lawyer at a word game, but no. Janet wasn't feeling well and had a little nap while we were playing. I bet she would have beat me too. I'm just no good at seeing words in a jumble of random letters.
Sunday:
Today was Comicon. Last year we came to Sydney especially for it, I went with them into the city but went to a show instead. This year I was very back and forth trying to decide. It didn't really interest me, but the thought of sitting home alone didn't either. Originally there had been some plans for "the girls" to all go somewhere else together, but they are all heavily pregnant and not so up for running around the city. I had been leaning towardsgoing along to Comicon and seeing what it was like. But the last few days I'd been feeling pretty uncomfortable with the pelvic thing, and today I woke up with PMS hitting me hard. I decided being miserable at home alone was easier to deal with than being miserable while wandering around Comicon. I think it was a good choice, I was pretty teary all day. Also there was a "Festival of Chocolate" on in the city and we all know I need to stay away from that!
Tim and the kids dressed up:
Santa Claus gave Tim the Darth Vader costume for Christmas so he could wear it to the new Star Wars movie premier on Boxing Day, Jasmine's Hunger Games outfit and Aiden's stormtrooper were bought specially for Comicon.
I did manage to get out of the house, I went for a walk up to the shops to buy ingredients for lunch, and also a chocolate éclair for dessert. And other junk. I really didn't do well at all with food today.
Today we had visitors from Canberra. Tim regularly skypes with his friend there but I hadn't seen them since we moved. They planned to come over "in the morning" (arg! I need more detail than that!) but at 11 they called and said "lunchtime". So we spent a lot of the day sort of waiting around. At least the house is now very clean! And when they arrived we had a nice chat over lunch and then played Boggle while the kids used the Virtual Reality headset. I lost every round, you'd think a writer could hold their own against a physicist and a lawyer at a word game, but no. Janet wasn't feeling well and had a little nap while we were playing. I bet she would have beat me too. I'm just no good at seeing words in a jumble of random letters.
Sunday:
Today was Comicon. Last year we came to Sydney especially for it, I went with them into the city but went to a show instead. This year I was very back and forth trying to decide. It didn't really interest me, but the thought of sitting home alone didn't either. Originally there had been some plans for "the girls" to all go somewhere else together, but they are all heavily pregnant and not so up for running around the city. I had been leaning towardsgoing along to Comicon and seeing what it was like. But the last few days I'd been feeling pretty uncomfortable with the pelvic thing, and today I woke up with PMS hitting me hard. I decided being miserable at home alone was easier to deal with than being miserable while wandering around Comicon. I think it was a good choice, I was pretty teary all day. Also there was a "Festival of Chocolate" on in the city and we all know I need to stay away from that!
Tim and the kids dressed up:
I did manage to get out of the house, I went for a walk up to the shops to buy ingredients for lunch, and also a chocolate éclair for dessert. And other junk. I really didn't do well at all with food today.
Monday, February 1, 2016
Nope
nday:
I got up and weighed myself with plenty of time to then go for a walk. But my weight was up! Way up! I crawled back into bed and sulked. I felt fat and horrible. Was it delayed reaction from bad party food? Can't have been what I ate yesterday. Then I realised it was just about that time of the month when I retain water - and also that time of the month when it is harder to cope when the scale turns evil! My mood was not good. But at least I had a reason for half a kilogram of weight gain.
I had things planned for the day but I just wanted to stay in bed and wait until it was all over. Distracting myself was probably the better idea, but without getting too worried if I didn't get everything I wanted done.
Saw a redback spider in the garage. Highly venomous. Now I have that to be paranoid about. Sydney, with its hot wet climate, is a home of many kinds of "nopes". So called because you see one then turn around and walk in the other direction saying "nope, nope, nope." Then you get a flamethrower and burn the house to the ground. I sprayed, but don't know if I got it.
There were still some elusive things the kids needed for school that didn't seem to be available in shops I visited locally. So I drove to an Officeworks store, only 15 mins away but on the wrong side of a busy main road so it took a bit of navigating. And they still didn't have everything I needed! But at least I found the specific calculator on Jasmine's list. Then the grocery shopping. It was raining when I left the supermarket, which made me feel guilty because I'd convinced Jasmine not to take a bulky jumper to school in her already overcrowded backpack, I still think it was pretty warm but she might disagree.
While having my lunch I watched US Biggest Loser (an old one I think, but I haven't seen it before). I know a lot of people don't like the show but I love it. Anyway, the episode finished then another one came on! Two in a row. And I watched it. Which is going to be a problem if that is every day. I don't need to be sitting watching TV two hours every afternoon. Quite the opposite. But "record it and watch it later" doesn't work, I watch TV every night from about 7:30, and as-of tonight all my favourite shows are starting up again after the summer holiday break. I'm really going to need to manage my time and my TV allowance. It is a pleasant relaxation, but hours spent in front of the TV are hours not doing something else.
I did 45 minutes guitar practice. I am progressing well with finger picking (one note at a time) but terrible with chords. However at the end of today's session I finally got E and Am, changing back and forth, and passed the skill challenge to progress. Yay! But when I tried it again I was all over the place. My fingers were tired by then, time to stop and do it again tomorrow. Definite progress today.
No writing today, because of the whole morning out shopping then the afternoon TV and guitar until the kids got home. I will work harder tomorrow, first priority. Writing this book is my job at the moment, I need to make time for it and get it done.
Breakfast was bacon, tomato and a nectarine. The fridge was almost empty until I went shopping. No cucumbers!
Lunch was tomato soup and some sharp Epicure cheese.
I was rather proud of my shopping, considering, not buying any junk, even though there was a little voice saying "you know you always give in this time of the month so you might as well just give in now", but that doesn't mean the house was a safe junk-free zone. Veronica insisted on leaving some of that s'mores brownie here on Saturday night. When I objected she said Jasmine would like it and how could I argue with that? Jas had some yesterday and I was fine, not interested. But when the kids got home today Jasmine had another piece. She sat eating it near me. I made the firm decision "no" and that was the end of it. Except it wasn't. And I got myself a piece. A big piece. Aiden asked if he could have the marshmallow topping so I just had the brownie part, but it was still a big slice of rich fudgy sugar. And I ate it all, even after I started to quickly feel a bit sick.
So, that was a fail. I am not going to beat myself up about it, but I am very aware that I have certain scripts in my head that I need to combat. Like "you cannot resist chips" and "you cannot resist chocolate when you have PMS". There is a difference between knowing myself and my vulnerabilities, and letting my evil twin convince me there is going to be an automatic collapse of willpower. I am also working on "you always fail at losing weight". I am not at home to self-sabotage!
Jasmine had her first dance classes here at her new dance school tonight. Both classes are on the same day, I'm not sure if that is a good or bad thing. First tap dancing, which she is new to, and then jazz, which she has been doing for several years. She didn't want to continue ballet, which I am quite glad about. It seems to be bad for your feet and also promotes extreme skinniness. She had a good time at her classes, but she's very shy and still lurking up the back of the room as much as possible.
Dinner was satay chicken and lots of vegetables. I was going to have quinoa with it, but cut that due to the afternoon snack. I had it on a bed of lettuce. I'm the only one who likes quinoa, everyone else has rice. I plan to try some other new things like lentils that I don't usually eat, once I can find recipes to make then palatable.
I didn't like the "after" photo but here are the vegetables for the satay.
It was a mixed day, but overall I did pretty well. And I've thrown out the last bit of that brownie!
I got up and weighed myself with plenty of time to then go for a walk. But my weight was up! Way up! I crawled back into bed and sulked. I felt fat and horrible. Was it delayed reaction from bad party food? Can't have been what I ate yesterday. Then I realised it was just about that time of the month when I retain water - and also that time of the month when it is harder to cope when the scale turns evil! My mood was not good. But at least I had a reason for half a kilogram of weight gain.
I had things planned for the day but I just wanted to stay in bed and wait until it was all over. Distracting myself was probably the better idea, but without getting too worried if I didn't get everything I wanted done.
Saw a redback spider in the garage. Highly venomous. Now I have that to be paranoid about. Sydney, with its hot wet climate, is a home of many kinds of "nopes". So called because you see one then turn around and walk in the other direction saying "nope, nope, nope." Then you get a flamethrower and burn the house to the ground. I sprayed, but don't know if I got it.
There were still some elusive things the kids needed for school that didn't seem to be available in shops I visited locally. So I drove to an Officeworks store, only 15 mins away but on the wrong side of a busy main road so it took a bit of navigating. And they still didn't have everything I needed! But at least I found the specific calculator on Jasmine's list. Then the grocery shopping. It was raining when I left the supermarket, which made me feel guilty because I'd convinced Jasmine not to take a bulky jumper to school in her already overcrowded backpack, I still think it was pretty warm but she might disagree.
While having my lunch I watched US Biggest Loser (an old one I think, but I haven't seen it before). I know a lot of people don't like the show but I love it. Anyway, the episode finished then another one came on! Two in a row. And I watched it. Which is going to be a problem if that is every day. I don't need to be sitting watching TV two hours every afternoon. Quite the opposite. But "record it and watch it later" doesn't work, I watch TV every night from about 7:30, and as-of tonight all my favourite shows are starting up again after the summer holiday break. I'm really going to need to manage my time and my TV allowance. It is a pleasant relaxation, but hours spent in front of the TV are hours not doing something else.
I did 45 minutes guitar practice. I am progressing well with finger picking (one note at a time) but terrible with chords. However at the end of today's session I finally got E and Am, changing back and forth, and passed the skill challenge to progress. Yay! But when I tried it again I was all over the place. My fingers were tired by then, time to stop and do it again tomorrow. Definite progress today.
No writing today, because of the whole morning out shopping then the afternoon TV and guitar until the kids got home. I will work harder tomorrow, first priority. Writing this book is my job at the moment, I need to make time for it and get it done.
Breakfast was bacon, tomato and a nectarine. The fridge was almost empty until I went shopping. No cucumbers!
Lunch was tomato soup and some sharp Epicure cheese.
I was rather proud of my shopping, considering, not buying any junk, even though there was a little voice saying "you know you always give in this time of the month so you might as well just give in now", but that doesn't mean the house was a safe junk-free zone. Veronica insisted on leaving some of that s'mores brownie here on Saturday night. When I objected she said Jasmine would like it and how could I argue with that? Jas had some yesterday and I was fine, not interested. But when the kids got home today Jasmine had another piece. She sat eating it near me. I made the firm decision "no" and that was the end of it. Except it wasn't. And I got myself a piece. A big piece. Aiden asked if he could have the marshmallow topping so I just had the brownie part, but it was still a big slice of rich fudgy sugar. And I ate it all, even after I started to quickly feel a bit sick.
So, that was a fail. I am not going to beat myself up about it, but I am very aware that I have certain scripts in my head that I need to combat. Like "you cannot resist chips" and "you cannot resist chocolate when you have PMS". There is a difference between knowing myself and my vulnerabilities, and letting my evil twin convince me there is going to be an automatic collapse of willpower. I am also working on "you always fail at losing weight". I am not at home to self-sabotage!
Jasmine had her first dance classes here at her new dance school tonight. Both classes are on the same day, I'm not sure if that is a good or bad thing. First tap dancing, which she is new to, and then jazz, which she has been doing for several years. She didn't want to continue ballet, which I am quite glad about. It seems to be bad for your feet and also promotes extreme skinniness. She had a good time at her classes, but she's very shy and still lurking up the back of the room as much as possible.
Dinner was satay chicken and lots of vegetables. I was going to have quinoa with it, but cut that due to the afternoon snack. I had it on a bed of lettuce. I'm the only one who likes quinoa, everyone else has rice. I plan to try some other new things like lentils that I don't usually eat, once I can find recipes to make then palatable.
I didn't like the "after" photo but here are the vegetables for the satay.
Wednesday, December 9, 2015
Not a great day
Wednesday:
Well it's that time of the month and even my feet are swollen up, my shoes are uncomfortably tight! I've never had that happen before, or not so I noticed. I had to dig out some old shoes that had had some of the life worn out of them. I can't go barefoot, the sore on the sole of my foot makes it quite painful to walk without padding underneath. I'm also headachy, have distressed digestion, the whole deal. I don't feel particularly moody, but we'll see if something happens to set me off!
We've been having dramatically variable weather here ever since we moved. Every week swings up and down and back up again. Today was one of the stinking hot days, with a storm in the evening. I haven't got used to the humidity here yet, Canberra was very dry. Here fruit goes bad more quickly, the bin needs to be emptied daily or it stinks, and I break into a sweat every time I move.
My hunger was weird, I ate a lot during some periods of the day, good food and bad, large portions of whatever I could get my hands on. Other times I felt nauseous and couldn't eat at all. I had two bites of dinner then had to go and lie down.
My daughter is the one with the social life at the moment. Her school has lots of end-of-year activities going on, it's the end of Primary School so I guess that is a big deal. A disco, movie day, dinner and dancing, presentation night tonight. And then the day after school finishes here Tim is driving her back to Canberra so she can attend the graduation celebration at her old school!
I didn't do much today except organise and back up some photos online, and read. I have the horrible feeling I've wasted yet another day of my life just sitting around at home, not even doing anything to make that home a nicer place to be. Then I move my head and the pain stabs back in and I think sitting around is the best thing for me today. Maybe it's not PMS. I don't usually feel like I have a nail stuck in my left eyebrow for that.
Well it's that time of the month and even my feet are swollen up, my shoes are uncomfortably tight! I've never had that happen before, or not so I noticed. I had to dig out some old shoes that had had some of the life worn out of them. I can't go barefoot, the sore on the sole of my foot makes it quite painful to walk without padding underneath. I'm also headachy, have distressed digestion, the whole deal. I don't feel particularly moody, but we'll see if something happens to set me off!
We've been having dramatically variable weather here ever since we moved. Every week swings up and down and back up again. Today was one of the stinking hot days, with a storm in the evening. I haven't got used to the humidity here yet, Canberra was very dry. Here fruit goes bad more quickly, the bin needs to be emptied daily or it stinks, and I break into a sweat every time I move.
My hunger was weird, I ate a lot during some periods of the day, good food and bad, large portions of whatever I could get my hands on. Other times I felt nauseous and couldn't eat at all. I had two bites of dinner then had to go and lie down.
My daughter is the one with the social life at the moment. Her school has lots of end-of-year activities going on, it's the end of Primary School so I guess that is a big deal. A disco, movie day, dinner and dancing, presentation night tonight. And then the day after school finishes here Tim is driving her back to Canberra so she can attend the graduation celebration at her old school!
I didn't do much today except organise and back up some photos online, and read. I have the horrible feeling I've wasted yet another day of my life just sitting around at home, not even doing anything to make that home a nicer place to be. Then I move my head and the pain stabs back in and I think sitting around is the best thing for me today. Maybe it's not PMS. I don't usually feel like I have a nail stuck in my left eyebrow for that.
Wednesday, July 22, 2015
Dismal cold rainy dark wet miserable gloomy freezing day
Wednesday:
Dismal cold rainy day plus PMS. What fun. Dark wet miserable day. Gloomy freezing depressing day.
Dismal cold rainy day plus PMS. What fun. Dark wet miserable day. Gloomy freezing depressing day.
Tuesday, March 3, 2015
Not my favourite day of the month
Tuesday:
Welcome to PMS world, where my life sucks and I hate everybody.
Here is a random picture of Australia at the end of summer, from my walk yesterday. That crispy brown stuff is supposed to be grass. Desolate and parched, like my life.
Terrible sleep, very restless all night and up four times to go to the bathroom.
At least the result of all that peeing was weight loss of more than a kilogram overnight! I retain a lot of water when I eat carbs and lose it quickly when I don't. But the problem is that the weight that is left is now "real" weight not water weight and I still only have a few days to lose that. Not feeling very hopeful today. I tell myself it is the hormones and I'll feel better in a day or two. If only I could bottle how I felt yesterday and use that when I need it!
I did the grocery shopping and then forced myself to do half an hour of Fantasia. I chose not to start my gym season in today's mood, but didn't let myself off exercise altogether. I also walked to and from my friend's house after school instead of driving so that added a gentle 20 mins. That is basically all I achieved today. But I did pretty well on both those things. I was out at the shops, surrounded by temptation, and didn't give in to anything. I stuck to my healthy food plan. I exercised a bit when I could have just sat around and then driven the few blocks. And I didn't eat anything except fruit at my friend's house, when there were chocolate chip cookies and pretzels right there in front of me. I didn't kill anyone today, or even smack anyone or yell at them.
I didn't get any writing done and my house looks like a cyclone went through it. Oh, you think I am kidding?
Nevertheless, I only had three pieces of chocolate. And I know I will probably maybe feel better tomorrow.
Report Card:
Diet: Great. Very surprising. I allowed myself the chocolate because I'd eaten lean protein and plants all day and was still under 1,000 calories (cucumber doesn't have many calories).
Exercise: Ok. Pretty good for someone who someone who just wanted to lie somewhere with a pillow over her head.
Water: Great. Eight glasses and some vegetable broth (no salt) which I also count.
Sleep: Poor. Can't have everything, I guess.
Mental Health: You looking at me, punk?
Welcome to PMS world, where my life sucks and I hate everybody.
Here is a random picture of Australia at the end of summer, from my walk yesterday. That crispy brown stuff is supposed to be grass. Desolate and parched, like my life.
Terrible sleep, very restless all night and up four times to go to the bathroom.
At least the result of all that peeing was weight loss of more than a kilogram overnight! I retain a lot of water when I eat carbs and lose it quickly when I don't. But the problem is that the weight that is left is now "real" weight not water weight and I still only have a few days to lose that. Not feeling very hopeful today. I tell myself it is the hormones and I'll feel better in a day or two. If only I could bottle how I felt yesterday and use that when I need it!
I did the grocery shopping and then forced myself to do half an hour of Fantasia. I chose not to start my gym season in today's mood, but didn't let myself off exercise altogether. I also walked to and from my friend's house after school instead of driving so that added a gentle 20 mins. That is basically all I achieved today. But I did pretty well on both those things. I was out at the shops, surrounded by temptation, and didn't give in to anything. I stuck to my healthy food plan. I exercised a bit when I could have just sat around and then driven the few blocks. And I didn't eat anything except fruit at my friend's house, when there were chocolate chip cookies and pretzels right there in front of me. I didn't kill anyone today, or even smack anyone or yell at them.
I didn't get any writing done and my house looks like a cyclone went through it. Oh, you think I am kidding?
Nevertheless, I only had three pieces of chocolate. And I know I will probably maybe feel better tomorrow.
Report Card:
Diet: Great. Very surprising. I allowed myself the chocolate because I'd eaten lean protein and plants all day and was still under 1,000 calories (cucumber doesn't have many calories).
Exercise: Ok. Pretty good for someone who someone who just wanted to lie somewhere with a pillow over her head.
Water: Great. Eight glasses and some vegetable broth (no salt) which I also count.
Sleep: Poor. Can't have everything, I guess.
Mental Health: You looking at me, punk?
Tuesday, June 24, 2014
Revising calorie limits
Wednesday:
Two good things. Firstly, I got through games night last night only using the 200 extra calories I'd planned - half chocolate, half sour lollies. Big improvement on the past couple of weeks when I overdid it. And secondly Thor only woke once last night, around 4:30, so I am feeling a lot less zombie-like today. Yay! Although it was really hard to get out of bed this morning, my body wants more of this lovely sleep invention.
Not quite so good; I don't expect a loss this week when I weigh in tomorrow. Firstly, it is that time of the month which means water retention. And secondly, it is that time of the month so I want to eat more. And thirdly it is freezing cold here so I want to eat more. And fourthly I have been slacking off a bit on my daily cognitive therapy tasks - reaffirming why I want to lose weight, not reading while I eat, sticking solidly to my calorie limit without giving myself a choice about it. I just got a little bit complacent, I think, because it was feeling fairly easy. For the first three or four weeks I spent a lot of time each day concentrating on my weight loss; rereading my book and advantages card and planning healthy food etc. Without any conscious decision I just put less focus on it over the past week or so. I've still been doing pretty well, but a few extra calories have crept in each day, usually in mid-afternoon.
In the first Beck book she doesn't give you any diet guidelines to follow, she just helps you stick to whatever diet you have chosen. But the second book, which I bought recently, has the addition of a diet plan, some recipes, and a formula for working out how many calories you should be eating (which goes down when you lose weight). I was quite happy sticking to 1400 calories for the first few weeks, it seemed like the right amount to satisfy me as long as they were nourishing balanced calories. But the formula Beck uses says I should be eating 1800 a day, and that no one should go below 1600 (at least not without consulting a nutritionist, it's true it is very hard to get in all the national guidelines on dairy, fibre etc if you are eating less than 1600). And other people (hi Marion) have said 1600 is better. So now I'm not sure. I have been very hungry this week and I have had 1800 a couple of days but I was ok on 1400 before that. I think its hormones and the cold weather. Should I eat more in winter? I feel like I won't lose any weight on 1800, I haven't this week. But I don't want to keep trying for 1400 and failing because that feels bad. But maybe it won't be so hard the rest of the month. Arg.
I guess the sensible compromise is to increase to 1600 for this week and see how I go with hunger and with weight loss. If I don't lose any weight next week I'll have to rethink again. But I will try it, while refocusing my energy. It is worth the time and effort.
Two good things. Firstly, I got through games night last night only using the 200 extra calories I'd planned - half chocolate, half sour lollies. Big improvement on the past couple of weeks when I overdid it. And secondly Thor only woke once last night, around 4:30, so I am feeling a lot less zombie-like today. Yay! Although it was really hard to get out of bed this morning, my body wants more of this lovely sleep invention.
Not quite so good; I don't expect a loss this week when I weigh in tomorrow. Firstly, it is that time of the month which means water retention. And secondly, it is that time of the month so I want to eat more. And thirdly it is freezing cold here so I want to eat more. And fourthly I have been slacking off a bit on my daily cognitive therapy tasks - reaffirming why I want to lose weight, not reading while I eat, sticking solidly to my calorie limit without giving myself a choice about it. I just got a little bit complacent, I think, because it was feeling fairly easy. For the first three or four weeks I spent a lot of time each day concentrating on my weight loss; rereading my book and advantages card and planning healthy food etc. Without any conscious decision I just put less focus on it over the past week or so. I've still been doing pretty well, but a few extra calories have crept in each day, usually in mid-afternoon.
In the first Beck book she doesn't give you any diet guidelines to follow, she just helps you stick to whatever diet you have chosen. But the second book, which I bought recently, has the addition of a diet plan, some recipes, and a formula for working out how many calories you should be eating (which goes down when you lose weight). I was quite happy sticking to 1400 calories for the first few weeks, it seemed like the right amount to satisfy me as long as they were nourishing balanced calories. But the formula Beck uses says I should be eating 1800 a day, and that no one should go below 1600 (at least not without consulting a nutritionist, it's true it is very hard to get in all the national guidelines on dairy, fibre etc if you are eating less than 1600). And other people (hi Marion) have said 1600 is better. So now I'm not sure. I have been very hungry this week and I have had 1800 a couple of days but I was ok on 1400 before that. I think its hormones and the cold weather. Should I eat more in winter? I feel like I won't lose any weight on 1800, I haven't this week. But I don't want to keep trying for 1400 and failing because that feels bad. But maybe it won't be so hard the rest of the month. Arg.
I guess the sensible compromise is to increase to 1600 for this week and see how I go with hunger and with weight loss. If I don't lose any weight next week I'll have to rethink again. But I will try it, while refocusing my energy. It is worth the time and effort.
Tuesday, May 27, 2014
Day 6: today was harder
Tuesday:
I resisted so many temptations yesterday afternoon! PMS hit so I wasn't feeling at my strongest, but I negotiated shoe shopping with the kids and buying them a treat without getting myself anything (had my scheduled afternoon snack when we got home), and later didn't turn to food even though I really wanted to when the kids were bickering (this was probably my hardest challenge this week, I was feeling very grumpy and out of sorts), and I only ate my allotted amount of roast potato at dinner even though it was really yummy and there was more just sitting there, AND I had a healthy supper instead of the unhealthy one that was calling to me. I was so strong. I just didn't give myself a choice.
I weigh myself every morning, and I mentally prepared myself for a gain this morning due to TOM water retention. And it did go up, by 0.1 kg. Not so bad! It helps that I am not eating my usual salty carbs. Other times the gain has been ten times that overnight.
Pre-tracking is really helping. Each evening I write down everything I'm going to eat the next day. And that is what I eat. And all I eat. The only leeway I give myself is that I write "fruit" then I can chose whichever type I feel like at the time. It makes it easier that the choices for the day are already made. Decided. Done. Takes a lot of stress away.
I've also settled the breakfast issue, which has always been a problem for me. I just made a choice that fit with my diet plan, and I'm having the same thing every weekday (varies on weekends). No decision required. That is my breakfast now, so I don't even need to think about it.
So I'm still doing really well but it was a really hard day. I had another bad night's sleep, taking the mask off at 2am because I needed to cough a lot. The PMS was crushing me all day and it was taking every iota of my strength to stick to my eating plan. I've done little else today than resist, resist, resist. I read somewhere recently (can't remember who) a woman denying PMS existed and that other women use it as an excuse. Don't we all want to punch her? Try living with these hormones two days a month. I am using it as an excuse to put off things I don't want to do. But I'm not using it as an excuse to overeat. Not this time.
I finished dinner with 200 "normal" calories left plus the 200 extra I planned to allow myself at games night supper. I provided Greek yoghurt with raspberries, and some chocolate. There was some cheese and wine. Some more chocolate. And then this:
Apparently our favourite brand of chocolate was on special. Most of this was taken away again (they know I don't like leftovers left in our house) to be brought back every week until it's gone. Even so, when looking at the empty packets at the end of the night, there was easily 100g of chocolate per person consumed.
I had yoghurt and raspberries as part of my planned diet, but I served it to everyone in fancy cocktail glasses to make it special. I spent my 200 extra calories on 36g of chocolate and one wedge of brie cheese on one cracker. That was all. I felt mildly deprived late in the evening when I would have like to nibble on a bit more, but I shrugged it off.
Day six accomplished!
I resisted so many temptations yesterday afternoon! PMS hit so I wasn't feeling at my strongest, but I negotiated shoe shopping with the kids and buying them a treat without getting myself anything (had my scheduled afternoon snack when we got home), and later didn't turn to food even though I really wanted to when the kids were bickering (this was probably my hardest challenge this week, I was feeling very grumpy and out of sorts), and I only ate my allotted amount of roast potato at dinner even though it was really yummy and there was more just sitting there, AND I had a healthy supper instead of the unhealthy one that was calling to me. I was so strong. I just didn't give myself a choice.
I weigh myself every morning, and I mentally prepared myself for a gain this morning due to TOM water retention. And it did go up, by 0.1 kg. Not so bad! It helps that I am not eating my usual salty carbs. Other times the gain has been ten times that overnight.
Pre-tracking is really helping. Each evening I write down everything I'm going to eat the next day. And that is what I eat. And all I eat. The only leeway I give myself is that I write "fruit" then I can chose whichever type I feel like at the time. It makes it easier that the choices for the day are already made. Decided. Done. Takes a lot of stress away.
I've also settled the breakfast issue, which has always been a problem for me. I just made a choice that fit with my diet plan, and I'm having the same thing every weekday (varies on weekends). No decision required. That is my breakfast now, so I don't even need to think about it.
So I'm still doing really well but it was a really hard day. I had another bad night's sleep, taking the mask off at 2am because I needed to cough a lot. The PMS was crushing me all day and it was taking every iota of my strength to stick to my eating plan. I've done little else today than resist, resist, resist. I read somewhere recently (can't remember who) a woman denying PMS existed and that other women use it as an excuse. Don't we all want to punch her? Try living with these hormones two days a month. I am using it as an excuse to put off things I don't want to do. But I'm not using it as an excuse to overeat. Not this time.
I finished dinner with 200 "normal" calories left plus the 200 extra I planned to allow myself at games night supper. I provided Greek yoghurt with raspberries, and some chocolate. There was some cheese and wine. Some more chocolate. And then this:
Apparently our favourite brand of chocolate was on special. Most of this was taken away again (they know I don't like leftovers left in our house) to be brought back every week until it's gone. Even so, when looking at the empty packets at the end of the night, there was easily 100g of chocolate per person consumed.
I had yoghurt and raspberries as part of my planned diet, but I served it to everyone in fancy cocktail glasses to make it special. I spent my 200 extra calories on 36g of chocolate and one wedge of brie cheese on one cracker. That was all. I felt mildly deprived late in the evening when I would have like to nibble on a bit more, but I shrugged it off.
Day six accomplished!
Thursday, May 1, 2014
Attractive celebrities with ugly partners
Thursday:
Today I clicked through to an article about attractive celebrities with ugly partners. I guess I was curious. One of the couples was someone (Pierce Brosnan, I think) with an overweight wife - she was thin when they married and had put on weight since then. The author of the article seemed totally astonished that not only were they still together (how noble of him to stay with a fat wife!) but that he publically claimed to not only still love her but still find her attractive! (Must have been lying, right? I mean, she wasn't thin any more.)
I looked at a few more of the pictures and I couldn't always tell who was supposed to be the attractive one in the couple, then I got to Matthew Broderick with Sarah Jessica Parker and I thought, well ok I used to have a bit of a crush on him and a lot of people think that SJP looks like a horse though it is a bit harsh to call her ugly ... then the caption made it clear that she was the "gorgeous" one and he was the "ugly" one! I gave up on the article and read a few comments and they all reflected my opinion that the author was an idiot and a bully who (probably) wouldn't go up to someone and tell them they were ugly but somehow thought it was ok to say it on the internet. And that the "ugly" people were generally pretty normal looking and some rather cute. Just not as glammed up as their famous partners.
Anyway, just thought I would share that.
So on Tuesday I was gambolling over the hills like Maria from the Sound of Music (I even sang a bit from the hilltop! No-one around.) but since then the TOM hormones have kicked in and gravity is too heavy and yesterday I cried when I couldn't get my laptop to behave and it's all too hard. Feeling a lot better this evening.
Not that I would have minded if anyone was around to hear me singing. I can be cripplingly shy in some situations but I love singing to an audience.
I should probably go and see my doctor and see if my newly-acquired high blood pressure needs any treatment. I've seen the sleep doctor guy a few times but we haven't talked about that (except that the sleep apnoea caused it) but I haven't seen my regular doctor. Does it go away now that I am getting better sleep? I'd rather not go on medication for it, my husband is (his high blood pressure is caused by stress, he is fit and not overweight) and it did have some side effects. But of course if I need to take medication that is better than having some kind of cardiac event. My local chemist lets me test my own blood pressure there, I haven't done it for a while.
One thing that has improved is having to get up to pee during the night. Apparently this was not just a matter of being awake so much I was more aware of needing to go. I didn't really take in the explanation but it was something to do with the heart struggling and trying to get rid of extra fluid so it could beat more easily? Causing me to get up to the bathroom more often. I've gone through several nights now without having to get up at all which is a really good sign. Definitely getting better sleep this week.
Today I clicked through to an article about attractive celebrities with ugly partners. I guess I was curious. One of the couples was someone (Pierce Brosnan, I think) with an overweight wife - she was thin when they married and had put on weight since then. The author of the article seemed totally astonished that not only were they still together (how noble of him to stay with a fat wife!) but that he publically claimed to not only still love her but still find her attractive! (Must have been lying, right? I mean, she wasn't thin any more.)
I looked at a few more of the pictures and I couldn't always tell who was supposed to be the attractive one in the couple, then I got to Matthew Broderick with Sarah Jessica Parker and I thought, well ok I used to have a bit of a crush on him and a lot of people think that SJP looks like a horse though it is a bit harsh to call her ugly ... then the caption made it clear that she was the "gorgeous" one and he was the "ugly" one! I gave up on the article and read a few comments and they all reflected my opinion that the author was an idiot and a bully who (probably) wouldn't go up to someone and tell them they were ugly but somehow thought it was ok to say it on the internet. And that the "ugly" people were generally pretty normal looking and some rather cute. Just not as glammed up as their famous partners.
Anyway, just thought I would share that.
So on Tuesday I was gambolling over the hills like Maria from the Sound of Music (I even sang a bit from the hilltop! No-one around.) but since then the TOM hormones have kicked in and gravity is too heavy and yesterday I cried when I couldn't get my laptop to behave and it's all too hard. Feeling a lot better this evening.
Not that I would have minded if anyone was around to hear me singing. I can be cripplingly shy in some situations but I love singing to an audience.
I should probably go and see my doctor and see if my newly-acquired high blood pressure needs any treatment. I've seen the sleep doctor guy a few times but we haven't talked about that (except that the sleep apnoea caused it) but I haven't seen my regular doctor. Does it go away now that I am getting better sleep? I'd rather not go on medication for it, my husband is (his high blood pressure is caused by stress, he is fit and not overweight) and it did have some side effects. But of course if I need to take medication that is better than having some kind of cardiac event. My local chemist lets me test my own blood pressure there, I haven't done it for a while.
One thing that has improved is having to get up to pee during the night. Apparently this was not just a matter of being awake so much I was more aware of needing to go. I didn't really take in the explanation but it was something to do with the heart struggling and trying to get rid of extra fluid so it could beat more easily? Causing me to get up to the bathroom more often. I've gone through several nights now without having to get up at all which is a really good sign. Definitely getting better sleep this week.
Tuesday, January 7, 2014
Not the best week
Wednesday:
So we're already a week into 2014. How are we all doing?
In terms of sticking to my health and weight-loss plans, I'm not doing so well. Still eating lots of extra junk, haven't really exercised since 1st Jan except a few minutes each day of standing on my wobble board. No valid excuses.
Major binge last night at our weekly Dungeons and Dragons snack-fest. Table full of junk food. Over the past eight years or so that we've been playing, occasionally one or more of us will decide we need to eat healthier and push for better foods, bringing fruit or maybe vegetable sticks instead of Doritos and gummy bears. It never lasts more than a couple of weeks. It's at my house, so even if I stopped playing, the food would still be there. I have sometimes, while "on a diet" resisted all the junk. That's never lasted more than a week or two either.
I know what healthy eating is, and this year I don't want to do any fad diets that are unsustainable. But the problem is, hard as I find strict diets, I find "just eat healthy" even harder. If it's ok to have a bit of some "treat", then it's ok to have a little bit more, and a bit more, and then a lot more. I want to have a relationship with food that doesn't involve banning some things or demonising them, but maybe a more relaxed attitude just isn't going to work for me.
I guess one possible solution is calorie counting - not banning any particular food but still having strict rules about how much in a day. I've tried it before, of course.
In the past three and a half years I've tried a lot of things.
I get discouraged having to write down all the terrible stuff I am eating, and give up.
I have PMS this morning. I'll feel more hopeful in a couple of days.
So we're already a week into 2014. How are we all doing?
In terms of sticking to my health and weight-loss plans, I'm not doing so well. Still eating lots of extra junk, haven't really exercised since 1st Jan except a few minutes each day of standing on my wobble board. No valid excuses.
Major binge last night at our weekly Dungeons and Dragons snack-fest. Table full of junk food. Over the past eight years or so that we've been playing, occasionally one or more of us will decide we need to eat healthier and push for better foods, bringing fruit or maybe vegetable sticks instead of Doritos and gummy bears. It never lasts more than a couple of weeks. It's at my house, so even if I stopped playing, the food would still be there. I have sometimes, while "on a diet" resisted all the junk. That's never lasted more than a week or two either.
I know what healthy eating is, and this year I don't want to do any fad diets that are unsustainable. But the problem is, hard as I find strict diets, I find "just eat healthy" even harder. If it's ok to have a bit of some "treat", then it's ok to have a little bit more, and a bit more, and then a lot more. I want to have a relationship with food that doesn't involve banning some things or demonising them, but maybe a more relaxed attitude just isn't going to work for me.
I guess one possible solution is calorie counting - not banning any particular food but still having strict rules about how much in a day. I've tried it before, of course.
In the past three and a half years I've tried a lot of things.
I get discouraged having to write down all the terrible stuff I am eating, and give up.
I have PMS this morning. I'll feel more hopeful in a couple of days.
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
Salsabor
Thursday:
Last night Tim and I had our second Salsabor lesson. It was supposed to be the third, but with all the busyness last week I arrived late and drove round and round unable to find a parking spot and couldn't cope and went home (after picking up Tim).
Last year, as a 10 year anniversary present, I arranged for us to do Ballroom Dancing lessons. There were some problems with it, the main one being that we kept having to swap partners so rarely got to dance with each other. We were there to spend time doing something together! There were other issues too, like one really unpleasant woman who smacked one of my children on the hand for eating too much from the fruit platter! and we gave it up after a few lessons.
Salsabor, which is Latin dancing, at least has an average age of about 30 instead of about 70 (I may well be the oldest person there at 43). We still don't get to dance with each other much though. We warm up and learn the new steps without a partner, then after partnering up we dance for only a couple of minutes before we move on to the next person. Luckily everyone seems nice and it's a fun kind of exercise. I just wish I got to dance with Tim, which is really what I am there for.
The very worst thing about it is the mirrors.
It my own head, when not actually looking at myself, I am a bit overweight but generally pleasing to the eye. In particular, when I talk to (or dance with) men I assume I am attractive. I don't mean I flirt with them, or that I expect them to fancy me, it's just my default assumption that I am nice to look at; kind of cute. And then I see myself in the wall of mirrors, when I see I am fat and dumpy and short and old.
Any time I see myself in the mirror or in a photo I get a bit of a shock. I am so much fatter than I imagine. The dance studio means the realisation is forced on me over and over. I am not really comfortable until I am partner dancing with my back to the mirrors, with men smiling and chatting as if it is not torture for them to dance with me.
I've been really struggling with my moods lately. I don't know if its connected to my menstrual issues. Probably, as they are both hormonal. My doctor is sending me to have a pelvic ultrasound next week as I am having heavy between-period bleeding even though I am on the pill. I feel like I have PMS several times a month. Depressed and unable to cope and therefore very snappy and irritable. I don't know what she expects the ultrasound to find. I've been resisting doing too much internet research, I have a tendency towards hypochondria and I'd be sure to find something dire that more-or-less matched my symptoms and I'd be suddenly sure I had uterine cancer or something. It's probably just peri-menopause.
My diet hasn't been very good this week, but at least I am getting two things done every day: writing my novel and exercise. As long as I can tick those two off each day I don't feel too bad.
Last night Tim and I had our second Salsabor lesson. It was supposed to be the third, but with all the busyness last week I arrived late and drove round and round unable to find a parking spot and couldn't cope and went home (after picking up Tim).
Last year, as a 10 year anniversary present, I arranged for us to do Ballroom Dancing lessons. There were some problems with it, the main one being that we kept having to swap partners so rarely got to dance with each other. We were there to spend time doing something together! There were other issues too, like one really unpleasant woman who smacked one of my children on the hand for eating too much from the fruit platter! and we gave it up after a few lessons.
Salsabor, which is Latin dancing, at least has an average age of about 30 instead of about 70 (I may well be the oldest person there at 43). We still don't get to dance with each other much though. We warm up and learn the new steps without a partner, then after partnering up we dance for only a couple of minutes before we move on to the next person. Luckily everyone seems nice and it's a fun kind of exercise. I just wish I got to dance with Tim, which is really what I am there for.
The very worst thing about it is the mirrors.
It my own head, when not actually looking at myself, I am a bit overweight but generally pleasing to the eye. In particular, when I talk to (or dance with) men I assume I am attractive. I don't mean I flirt with them, or that I expect them to fancy me, it's just my default assumption that I am nice to look at; kind of cute. And then I see myself in the wall of mirrors, when I see I am fat and dumpy and short and old.
Any time I see myself in the mirror or in a photo I get a bit of a shock. I am so much fatter than I imagine. The dance studio means the realisation is forced on me over and over. I am not really comfortable until I am partner dancing with my back to the mirrors, with men smiling and chatting as if it is not torture for them to dance with me.
I've been really struggling with my moods lately. I don't know if its connected to my menstrual issues. Probably, as they are both hormonal. My doctor is sending me to have a pelvic ultrasound next week as I am having heavy between-period bleeding even though I am on the pill. I feel like I have PMS several times a month. Depressed and unable to cope and therefore very snappy and irritable. I don't know what she expects the ultrasound to find. I've been resisting doing too much internet research, I have a tendency towards hypochondria and I'd be sure to find something dire that more-or-less matched my symptoms and I'd be suddenly sure I had uterine cancer or something. It's probably just peri-menopause.
My diet hasn't been very good this week, but at least I am getting two things done every day: writing my novel and exercise. As long as I can tick those two off each day I don't feel too bad.
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
Shoes
Tuesday:
I took the kids shoe-shopping after school today. Totally failed to get anything (Jasmine is very very picky about shoes, they always "feel wrong") but decided while I was there to look at new running shoes for myself. My other ones are probably a couple of years old, I thought new ones might make a difference. They did all the various tests they do nowadays to find the right shoes and brought out three pairs with some padded inserts.
I guess I was hoping to find something that would miraculously make running pain-free, but even trotting up and down the shop made my shins hurt. I didn't buy anything, I will go back another time and do some more trials. And take my old shoes along to compare the feel.
I've pretty much decided not to do the Mother's Day run, I want to wait until I am closer to running a decent amount of that distance. I couldn't find anything else in the next couple of months, but there is always Parkrun every Saturday. And that is free.
I have PMS and I've been eating sugar and starch all day. Feel like rubbish (for both reasons). Tired and cranky and depressed. Oh well, it will pass.
I took the kids shoe-shopping after school today. Totally failed to get anything (Jasmine is very very picky about shoes, they always "feel wrong") but decided while I was there to look at new running shoes for myself. My other ones are probably a couple of years old, I thought new ones might make a difference. They did all the various tests they do nowadays to find the right shoes and brought out three pairs with some padded inserts.
I guess I was hoping to find something that would miraculously make running pain-free, but even trotting up and down the shop made my shins hurt. I didn't buy anything, I will go back another time and do some more trials. And take my old shoes along to compare the feel.
I've pretty much decided not to do the Mother's Day run, I want to wait until I am closer to running a decent amount of that distance. I couldn't find anything else in the next couple of months, but there is always Parkrun every Saturday. And that is free.
I have PMS and I've been eating sugar and starch all day. Feel like rubbish (for both reasons). Tired and cranky and depressed. Oh well, it will pass.
Monday, April 1, 2013
Nibbles
Tuesday:
I felt pretty unwell Sunday and Monday, whether from a virus or just PMS or a combination of both I don't know and does it really matter? Miserable too, I was thinking about how I don't really like who I am but don't know who I want to be or what I want to do with my life. I tried to imagine what my perfect life would be if I could have/do anything -- and I just didn't know. No wonder I'm going around in circles, I have no idea where I want to go.
But some of that could have been the PMS talking.
Feeling much better today. A new job came in but I haven't had a chance to start it yet. After I'd done the shopping this morning (groceries plus some winter clothes for the kids) the school called for me to pick up Aiden after a minor accident. Everyone is fine, but having him home this afternoon threw out my schedule a bit. He played quietly for a while then we tidied the kitchen together.
I started low carb again yesterday, except for some nibbles at my chocolate Easter Bunny. It's a limited edition boutique chocolate shop one my husband bought me so there is no way I am throwing any of it away, but it is a big temptation! I'll just have a bit each day until it's gone, and avoid the cheaper stuff the other bunny left around our house.
I felt pretty unwell Sunday and Monday, whether from a virus or just PMS or a combination of both I don't know and does it really matter? Miserable too, I was thinking about how I don't really like who I am but don't know who I want to be or what I want to do with my life. I tried to imagine what my perfect life would be if I could have/do anything -- and I just didn't know. No wonder I'm going around in circles, I have no idea where I want to go.
But some of that could have been the PMS talking.
Feeling much better today. A new job came in but I haven't had a chance to start it yet. After I'd done the shopping this morning (groceries plus some winter clothes for the kids) the school called for me to pick up Aiden after a minor accident. Everyone is fine, but having him home this afternoon threw out my schedule a bit. He played quietly for a while then we tidied the kitchen together.
I started low carb again yesterday, except for some nibbles at my chocolate Easter Bunny. It's a limited edition boutique chocolate shop one my husband bought me so there is no way I am throwing any of it away, but it is a big temptation! I'll just have a bit each day until it's gone, and avoid the cheaper stuff the other bunny left around our house.
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
Why is everyone so annoying today?
Wednesday:
Got in half an hour walking and half an hour dancing, even though gravity seemed heavier today. And I should have been working. No, I should have been exercising!!
PMS, bit of a sore throat and an aching shoulder (often plays up with PMS). The world is too hot, my nose is so dry I had a nose bleed when I blew this morning and the dried snot peeled away from the nose lining even though I am drinking 10 glasses of water a day and I am sick of peeing so often, I may have a pimple on my cheek, and I'm feeling quite shouty. I've been holding in the shouting even though everyone in the world is REALLY ANNOYING. Especially my kids.
But I haven't turned to food. Only a little bit. Two unscheduled squares of chocolate. Otherwise very healthy food all day.
Got in half an hour walking and half an hour dancing, even though gravity seemed heavier today. And I should have been working. No, I should have been exercising!!
PMS, bit of a sore throat and an aching shoulder (often plays up with PMS). The world is too hot, my nose is so dry I had a nose bleed when I blew this morning and the dried snot peeled away from the nose lining even though I am drinking 10 glasses of water a day and I am sick of peeing so often, I may have a pimple on my cheek, and I'm feeling quite shouty. I've been holding in the shouting even though everyone in the world is REALLY ANNOYING. Especially my kids.
But I haven't turned to food. Only a little bit. Two unscheduled squares of chocolate. Otherwise very healthy food all day.
Thursday, August 23, 2012
Thor's day
Thursday:
I struggled a bit with PMS yesterday afternoon and today. With terrible timing, yesterday I decided to start counting calories again as well as carbs. Horrible. Having to weigh or estimate every single thing, no longer being able to think "this little cube of cheese is free", having to look at the whole day instead of just the level of carbs for that meal.
When I got to the end of the day, my score sheet looked pretty good. Lots of exercise, offsetting some of the calories. The recommended amount of fruit, vegetables, and dairy. Nearly enough water. But all that I could focus on was that I had gone over my planned 1500 calories. And OMG so many calories in that chicken breast. And that tiny spoonful of rice. I should have had one slice of chicken, two grains of rice. And who eats a whole banana! Do you know how many calories in that thing? You're disgusting!
I don't think I am ready to go back to calorie counting. As long as I am gradually losing weight, I will just stick with counting carbs for now.
I bought two Pandora charms today. A turtle, to celebrate my rowing victory. And a strawberry, to remind me to eat healthily. My bracelet is looking really nice, it started off a bit sparce but it has a respectable number of charms now.
Pouring rain today, the third Thursday in a row. I was explaining to the kids that it is really Thor's Day, named after the god of thunder. So maybe that is why. Thursday is usually our busy afternoon, but I gave the kids the option of just staying home and they took it. So I didn't exercise.
I struggled a bit with PMS yesterday afternoon and today. With terrible timing, yesterday I decided to start counting calories again as well as carbs. Horrible. Having to weigh or estimate every single thing, no longer being able to think "this little cube of cheese is free", having to look at the whole day instead of just the level of carbs for that meal.
When I got to the end of the day, my score sheet looked pretty good. Lots of exercise, offsetting some of the calories. The recommended amount of fruit, vegetables, and dairy. Nearly enough water. But all that I could focus on was that I had gone over my planned 1500 calories. And OMG so many calories in that chicken breast. And that tiny spoonful of rice. I should have had one slice of chicken, two grains of rice. And who eats a whole banana! Do you know how many calories in that thing? You're disgusting!
I don't think I am ready to go back to calorie counting. As long as I am gradually losing weight, I will just stick with counting carbs for now.
I bought two Pandora charms today. A turtle, to celebrate my rowing victory. And a strawberry, to remind me to eat healthily. My bracelet is looking really nice, it started off a bit sparce but it has a respectable number of charms now.
Pouring rain today, the third Thursday in a row. I was explaining to the kids that it is really Thor's Day, named after the god of thunder. So maybe that is why. Thursday is usually our busy afternoon, but I gave the kids the option of just staying home and they took it. So I didn't exercise.
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
No title
Thursday:
Yesterday I felt pretty crampy and tired all day and got Wednesday-night takeaway again. Didn't exercise, didn't drink enough water, hardly ate any vegetables. And this morning my weight was up a tiny bit more, although that could be partly to do with my period starting.
But: despite the PMS I only ate one tiny fun-size chocolate bar yesterday. I only ate into 7 of my weekly ProPoints, which is barely more than a good day (although the content of those calories wasn't so healthy). Usually PMS sends me on an eating rampage where I somehow give myself permission to abuse my body "to make me feel better". And this morning, although I still don't feel great, I went for a walk and have had a healthy and balanced lunch. So I feel back on track.
I really want to have a good weigh-in at my second Weight Watchers meeting tomorrow. One of my focusses (foci?) today is drinking enough, I need to flush out all this extra salt.
Yesterday I felt pretty crampy and tired all day and got Wednesday-night takeaway again. Didn't exercise, didn't drink enough water, hardly ate any vegetables. And this morning my weight was up a tiny bit more, although that could be partly to do with my period starting.
But: despite the PMS I only ate one tiny fun-size chocolate bar yesterday. I only ate into 7 of my weekly ProPoints, which is barely more than a good day (although the content of those calories wasn't so healthy). Usually PMS sends me on an eating rampage where I somehow give myself permission to abuse my body "to make me feel better". And this morning, although I still don't feel great, I went for a walk and have had a healthy and balanced lunch. So I feel back on track.
I really want to have a good weigh-in at my second Weight Watchers meeting tomorrow. One of my focusses (foci?) today is drinking enough, I need to flush out all this extra salt.
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
A week on WW
Wednesday:
My official weigh-in at WW will be on Friday (and will include clothes, shoes, and breakfast) but I have still been weighing myself at home and in the 7 days I have been following WW I have lost 1.4 kg. And that is after an upwards bump of 0.4 kg this morning; due to either/or or a combination of PMS and D&D supper last night. It is still quite a nice loss.
I ate way too much last night, after having roast chicken for dinner I scraped some of the chicken fat out of the pan and ate it (I counted it as 2 teaspoons of fat) -- it was delicious though -- and then I had chocolate, apricot delight, and burger rings at supper.
On the up side I did stop eating once I had had enough, even though there was more on the table. In the past I would have eaten much more. I spent a total of 12 ProPoints on supper, all from my weekly allowance, which was well within my WW budget. I ended up feeling really sleepy and had trouble following conversations, it almost felt like I was drunk. I am noticing that when I eat mostly healthy food, I feel pretty yuck when I eat junk. I probably always felt yuck when I ate junk, I was just used to feeling that way all the time!
This morning I had planned to go to the gym and do BodyPump but it was swimming carnival day and we had to leave early (which I didn't realise until this morning) so I didn't have time for breakfast, what with all the frantic getting the kids ready and their lunches and change of clothes etc. So I had to come home after the drop-off to have my breakfast. I still plan to do some exercise,but I am feeling pretty horrible with PMS. Crampy lower back pain and feeling sad and discouraged. I think a walk outside will help more than trying to drag myself through a Kinect routine.
So, how has the first week gone? Pretty well, I think. I've stayed within my ProPoints -- aiming for the daily 26 per day and always using just a few of my weekly extra -- eating huge amounts of vegetables. I haven't banned any foods or deprived myself and as a result I haven't binged -- even D&D supper has been much better than in the past, and I haven't had any solitary food orgies. Of course there will be challenges in the future, but the fact that I have that extra weekly 49 PP to spend means that even if I do have a stumble it doesn't mean I have failed for the week or even the day. I love that. I can work it into the plan. I think WW have organised that really well -- instead of saying you get 33 ProPoints per day and if you go over you fail, they give you 26 PP per day plus 49 PP for the week to use when you like so you can have light days and save for celebrations and restaurants.
I've done quite well with exercise too, I am going for 30 mins most days but of course often doing more than that. I haven't "eaten" any of my exercise ProPoints. School holidays and then these first few days of school with starting Kindy and swimming carnival have been quite disruptive, but from tomorrow everything will be back to normal and I should be able to get into a routine.
My official weigh-in at WW will be on Friday (and will include clothes, shoes, and breakfast) but I have still been weighing myself at home and in the 7 days I have been following WW I have lost 1.4 kg. And that is after an upwards bump of 0.4 kg this morning; due to either/or or a combination of PMS and D&D supper last night. It is still quite a nice loss.
I ate way too much last night, after having roast chicken for dinner I scraped some of the chicken fat out of the pan and ate it (I counted it as 2 teaspoons of fat) -- it was delicious though -- and then I had chocolate, apricot delight, and burger rings at supper.
On the up side I did stop eating once I had had enough, even though there was more on the table. In the past I would have eaten much more. I spent a total of 12 ProPoints on supper, all from my weekly allowance, which was well within my WW budget. I ended up feeling really sleepy and had trouble following conversations, it almost felt like I was drunk. I am noticing that when I eat mostly healthy food, I feel pretty yuck when I eat junk. I probably always felt yuck when I ate junk, I was just used to feeling that way all the time!
This morning I had planned to go to the gym and do BodyPump but it was swimming carnival day and we had to leave early (which I didn't realise until this morning) so I didn't have time for breakfast, what with all the frantic getting the kids ready and their lunches and change of clothes etc. So I had to come home after the drop-off to have my breakfast. I still plan to do some exercise,but I am feeling pretty horrible with PMS. Crampy lower back pain and feeling sad and discouraged. I think a walk outside will help more than trying to drag myself through a Kinect routine.
So, how has the first week gone? Pretty well, I think. I've stayed within my ProPoints -- aiming for the daily 26 per day and always using just a few of my weekly extra -- eating huge amounts of vegetables. I haven't banned any foods or deprived myself and as a result I haven't binged -- even D&D supper has been much better than in the past, and I haven't had any solitary food orgies. Of course there will be challenges in the future, but the fact that I have that extra weekly 49 PP to spend means that even if I do have a stumble it doesn't mean I have failed for the week or even the day. I love that. I can work it into the plan. I think WW have organised that really well -- instead of saying you get 33 ProPoints per day and if you go over you fail, they give you 26 PP per day plus 49 PP for the week to use when you like so you can have light days and save for celebrations and restaurants.
I've done quite well with exercise too, I am going for 30 mins most days but of course often doing more than that. I haven't "eaten" any of my exercise ProPoints. School holidays and then these first few days of school with starting Kindy and swimming carnival have been quite disruptive, but from tomorrow everything will be back to normal and I should be able to get into a routine.
Monday, January 9, 2012
A day out and about
Tuesday:Good day is some ways, not so good for weight loss. Jasmine will be starting violin lessons this year and we went to meet her teacher this morning, we ended up staying an hour for what was essentially a first lesson plus a chat. I learned a lot too -- important if I am going to help her with practice -- and the teacher had a young son who whisked Aiden off to play on their Wii so a good time was had by all.
Then we spent the afternoon at Questacon, which is an excellent interactive science museum we have been to many times. Indeed, when the kids were smaller I had an annual pass a couple of years in a row and we went often. There are 7 "galleries" of things to do -- all hands-on. Today's activities included seeing how hard it was to lift your own body using various pulley systems, seeing how your eyes can be tricked into seeing a black and white photo as a colour one (that was amazing), and trying to throw a ball straight while you were being whisked around in a circle.
Partly because we were out and about all day, but mostly because I have PMS, I made some bad food choices and am way over my calorie limit. Magnum icecream! Chocolate! Even a few hot chips. No fruit and hardly any vegetables. Also, although I am feeling mentally and physically exhausted (again, mainly PMS), I haven't exercised today. Oh well, hopefully I'll be feeling better tomorrow. And even if I am not feeling better, I need to get back on track anyway.
I've been making good inroads on the huge mound of books I have to get finished by the end of February, but it is taking its toll. And if you think reading is fun and easy (yes, ok, usually it is), try reading 64 books of widely varying quality in six months. I read around 34 in the first four months at a more leisurely pace, but I am approaching the deadline now and the second half has to be disposed of rather quicker. I've been reading nearly a book a day (by neglecting my family and my paid work) and I am now down to 15. I just want it to be over! I definitely won't be judging again for a few years.
I'm feeling very tired and rather down. There is a temptation to write a miserable post about how I should just give up, but I know that I will feel differently in a day or so.
I had quite a nice day, considering. But, ye Gods, there are still about 4 weeks of school holidays to go! How am I going to entertain them every day! Arg!
Questacon photo by CIENTEC
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