Doing something right

Sunday:

Jasmine had her Year 10 Formal (end of year school dinner and dance) this week. She looked beautiful. I can't believe she is nearly 16! We had her hair professionally done and it looked amazing. (Very expensive though!) She and her friends took a limo to the function centre which was on a clifftop down the coast a bit. I think I've been to a wedding there. I took lots of photos at home of course, including of her spinning by the pool.

There was a vote at the Formal, and a few people were given "Miss Universe"-type sashes. One of Jasmine's friends was given "Best-Dressed". Jasmine was given one that says "Quiet but Crazy". 

At the moment I feel like I must be doing something right. In an exercise at a mental health seminar at school, Jasmine was supposed to write something she hated about herself on a piece of paper and then screw it up and throw it away to symbolise not letting those feelings have power over her or something. Anyway, she couldn't think of anything she hated about herself!

And Aiden brought an essay home in which he said he liked my cooking better than restaurants, and on Friday I suggested getting takeaway but he wanted me to make dinner at home. A fine compliment from a 13 year old boy!

Jasmine is coming to my workplace for a week of work experience next week. Hopefully that will be fun for both of us. I wrote up a program for her that had her mainly under my supervision but I was told to change it and share her around with other library staff. I'll mostly only work with her on preparing and presenting a storytime with the little kids. We often have work experience students, but mostly they are older and studying for library specific degree - like me last year. A lovely girl, Carlie, just finished her time with us yesterday. It was great of my boss to accept Jasmine, a Year 10 student. My old boss wouldn't, last semester, because she was worried if she had to discipline Jasmine I would get mad!

It will be my last week of work this year, and I don't know what is happening next year. Hopefully there will be more work for me when term starts. But there will be big upheavals in the structure of TAFE soon and no-one knows what is going to happen. I may be looking for work again. At least I have some real experience now to put on my resume, and more people to offer as referees.

Bushfires haven't threatened my home, but the air quality has been horrible from fires further north. Choking smoke and dust. Magnificent sunsets though.

It's the first day of summer today but we're going to have a fairly cool week. The weather is all over the place. Hopefully the firefighters can keep us all safe.

As usual

Thursday:

I haven't had much to write about... life goes on as usual. I've been down with a nasty flu for the past week. Mostly better now except for a lingering cough. I stopped taking Duromine while sick, I hadn't lost any weight since the first two weeks on it anyway, and after a couple of nights the peri-menopausal night sweats came back! Every night since then. So the Mirena obviously hasn't made any difference there, not that anyone said it would, I was just hoping.

The Mirena (IUD that releases hormones, supposed to be safer than "the pill" at my age) is still uncomfortable, the strings jab and jab me. I couldn't get an earlier appointment with my gyno than the 3 month check up, the receptionist told me to see my GP if I needed help. Hmm.

Jasmine has her Year 10 end of year formal (dinner & dance) coming up, we went shopping for a dress today but didn't find anything. Most of her year got their dresses months ago apparently, all very adult slinky things which Jas thinks is inappropriate for her age and doesn't want. She rejected anything low cut or too clingy - not because she doesn't like her body but just because she is 15 and thinks it's silly to dress like that. We did buy a lovely sundress that she would be happy to wear but I don't think it's formal enough for evening.

It's school holidays, and when Aiden isn't on the computer or iPad he's out in the garden creating a bow and arrow out of sticks and vines. After a lot of trial and error it's pretty good! He's always loved sticks, they can become anything in his imagination. I had to make a rule when he was littler: "sticks don't cross the road" because he would try to bring them home from the park and I felt we had enough of our own.

We've also been playing board games and today we bought a jigsaw puzzle as we had all enjoyed the one Tim gave me for my last birthday. This one is of a bookcase (of fantasy books) with little fairies and dragons and other magical things scattered around the shelves. We've done all the edges.

Medieval

Monday:

I had decided to never buy clothes online again after a couple of unsatisfactory purchases, but then I decided I needed some medieval dresses and it is very hard to find them anywhere else. I chose three, from a costume shop (they are costumes and therefore much cheaper but not as good quality as a real medieval dress would be) with the intent of keeping them all if they looked good but sending back any that didn't. I've learned to base my size choice on my hip measurement, not my waist measurement.

They are all much too long of course, and will need to be hemmed up, but aside from that the fit was very good. The green dress looked great:

The purple dress didn't suit me at all (I sent it back):

The black and red 'vampire countess' looked nice but the weird grey flap hanging from the waist is uneven and I haven't decided what to do about it. It would not be easy to just remove. In the promotional picture it doesn't overlap the red stripe down the front at all, that would have been much better, on mine it goes too far and meets off-centre. But overall the dress looks nice and I'm keeping it.

Why do I need medieval dresses? My family goes to Comicon and places like that and all wear costumes, I've never been but I may go one day. And it's just nice to have a costume ready for any occasion that may come up.

My weight was 72.4 kg this morning.

I came down sick (again) on the weekend. It's been a trying winter in that respect. We had to cancel D&D and family dinner.

Thursday:
I am starting to feel better but Tim came home from work yesterday feeling awful and went straight to bed (very very unusual!) and is home sick today. I have some sores in my mouth that I don't know if they are from this illness, or dry mouth from Duromine (which I've stopped for the moment), or from too much sugar; but there is one on my tongue that is quite painful. It woke me a couple of times in the night feeling like a needle dipped in acid had been stuck in the tip of my tongue. Ouch.

Aiden will be starting High School next year and he's doing an 'Extension Exam' this morning to see if he gets into the top class. Jasmine didn't get the chance as we moved here right at the end of the year just before she started High School so they put her in the second class originally, but she was moved into the extension class the following year. Aiden is very good in maths and science areas and he has a great imagination, but his handwriting is like a five year old and I hope that doesn't hold him back. We've been working on it at home, and at school of course.

Centarian

Sunday:

Yesterday was my Poppa's 100th birthday. (My mother's father.) A celebratory lunch was held at a country club, all the extended family from near and far plus family friends. I enjoyed catching up with family, but all these older people kept coming up to me and knowing who I was but I had no idea who they were! Darryl? Um, maybe Poppa's cousin's daughter? Or lived next door to Poppa when I was a child? Who knows? I had long conversations with two different old ladies with no idea who they were. They assumed I'd know, and I felt it was rude to ask. At least 'Evan' explained he was a family friend, and the father of a boy I went to primary school with (and a good friend of Tim's old boss, which is a crazy co-incidence as we were in another state at the time!)

I wasn't successful in finding a new winter dress before the event so I wore an old one that was too big on me but looked ok. Actually the shopping process was depressing, for some reason I looked fat and dumpy in everything I tried on, very unlike my other recent shopping experiences, even though I'm the same weight! I refuse to buy anything that makes me look like that.

Group photo of Poppa with all the sons, grandsons, great grandsons and in-laws.

 And with the granddaughters, great granddaughters and in-laws (I have my arm linked with Poppa, the only one wearing glasses).

It was also Tim and my 16th wedding anniversary, so in the evening we went out to dinner. It was a restaurant we hadn't tried before. The food was nice but we were right at the front where it was very noisy and also cold from people going in and out or the door being propped open. They couldn't move us to another table because they were full. I kept my coat on most of the time. We liked the food, but I think we'll save that restaurant for better weather or check when we book that we can be seated at the back.

Today is Mother's Day, I received some lovely presents - like slippers with inserts that you heat in the microwave! - and breakfast and lunch made for me. It was cold and rainy outside so it was a quiet day at home doing some study, watching Librarians Season 4 and trying to avoid the news (Eurovision was 5am our time and there are always spoilers about who won before we get to watch it in the evening) then in the evening - Eurovision Party! Every year we get family and friends to come over and watch with us. None of our favourite groups even made it to the top 10, I think. Oh well, it was fun.

Dress

Monday:

This morning my weight was up to 75.2 kg, so I've regained 2.5 kg in the three weeks I've been off Duromine and I'm back to where I was at the start of the year. This time on Duromine I really felt like it wasn't doing much good, but as soon as I went off it I realised it actually was! Without it I'm eating too much of all the wrong things, sleeping badly, have night sweats and bad dreams, and drag myself out of bed with no energy for the day let alone exercise. Well regardless, the side effects were horrible so I'm not going back on it for a while if at all, so I have to find a way to lose weight or at least maintain without it. Starting today.

I wore one of my new dresses last night and everyone commented and I felt good. And I'm wearing my new khaki trousers today (it's cold and rainy) and they fit nicely and I am so much happier this weight than 10 kg heavier. I'm not going back there!

I'm not used to a dress though, it's knee length when I'm standing up but when I sit down I'm mainly just sitting on skin which I don't like at all. I tried to tuck it under my legs but its not really long enough. When we bought our leather lounge suite (more than ten years ago) Tim promised me that leather doesn't make you stick and sweat, he said that only vinyl does that, and that leather is fine. Wrong!!! Any time my skin touches it for any length of time (like if I lie down) I end up having to rip myself away. I much prefer cloth seats. I hated sitting on it with bare thighs, even with shortelettes underneath. The price we pay for fashion.

Clothes

Friday:

My baby came home from overnight school camp this afternoon. I was so glad to have him home safe. Yes I know I'm an overprotective mother! His first half hour home was him sitting on my lap telling me all about it. He's getting a bit heavy, turning nine in two weeks, but still cuddly. He was wearing different clothes than I sent him away in yesterday, but the same socks (rather filthy now) and he smelled a bit sweaty. He says they didn't shower at camp. Well, he didn't, anyway! And he didn't get a lot of sleep in a cabin of 12 little boys. He had a great time.

I bought new jeans today - currently being altered for my oompa-loompa short legs. Usually I think jeans last me at least a year, but I only bought these ones in June. Four months! The inner thigh seams are wearing out, as usual. I always wait until the last moment, just in case I lose weight and can buy a smaller size. Alas, no.

I'm going to a wedding tomorrow and I'm a bit stressed about what to wear. It should be warm enough for my nice summer dress for the afternoon ceremony on the beach, but it might get cool later at the reception and my fancy evening dress has lace sleeves that I think are too tight for me now. There were uncomfortable enough last time that I regretted wearing it, and I haven't lost any weight since then - quite the opposite. I think I'd rather put up with being a bit cold than having my arms squeezed all night. It should be warm inside anyway. The wedding is for my husband's cousin, I know his mother's side of the family very well but this is from his father's side and they live further away so I've only met them a few times. But there will be some people I know, and hopefully it will be a good event.

It was Tim's last day at his current work location today. On Monday we start packing in earnest. It's a tricky balance, because we are still using the clothes and the kitchen appliances etc! I've already packed up most of the stuff we don't use regularly, months ago. But at some point we have to pack everything, and just live with very minimal stuff for a few days.

Dress shopping

Wednesday:

I hated that porridge. It was still tasteless glue. So breakfast is still a struggle every morning. This morning I had an orange and two kiwifruit, cut up and mixed together, and it was yummy and refreshing -- but I am starting to get hungry already an hour and half later.

In other news, I didn't get my weight-loss charm because I was only under 75 kg for that one day last week, I'm up nearly a kg since then. I've been eating too much and not exercising much, so it is very understandable. It is very cold here, below zero at night, and I'm wanting to comfort eat all the time. Also there have been a few events -- two kids' birthday parties and our regular weekly D&D supper and lunch out twice. But I haven't shown much restraint at all. And this weekend is going to be a big one, so I have to be extra careful to be good for the next few days.

This weekend is our ten year wedding anniversary, and the Aurealis Awards night (I was a judge), and Mother's Day. And Tim's grandmother died on Monday so her funeral will be soon. And at none of these events are jeans and a T-shirt emblazoned with "My imaginary friend thinks you have problems" appropriate attire. So yesterday I went shopping.

I found a nice red everyday top and some leggings straight away (I only wear leggings under a winter dress with boots, I do not think overweight people should ever wear them as trousers! What are they thinking! Clothes that cling to and highlight every bulge and bump??) but I really needed a dress. I tried on one that looked beautiful on the mannequin but was not quite as flattering on me. I considered it for a while. After all, I am overweight. I can't expect to look like a model. Maybe this is as good as it gets. I decided to come back to it if I needed to.

Then I went into Table Eight. And found a store full of clothes that I looked fabulous in! I tried on about ten things and honestly could have bought all of them, but of course many were quite similar to eat other and I didn't need that many things. I ended up with five items. For the formal Aurealis Awards, a black knee-length dress with lace sleeves that is the most flattering thing I have worn for a long time. For my anniversary lunch and show, Mother's Day lunch, and probably the funeral; a dark purple dress in a thick material that skims but doesn't cling with 3/4 sleeves. For everyday, two jewel-bright tops; one blue, one green. I usually stick to pastels in summer and dark colours in winter but these are eye-popping yet lovely. And finally, a coat!

I'd tried on a few coats recently. I own a heavy overcoat that I have had for twenty years and hated for fifteen. It is early-nineties ugly, with huge shoulders and no waist like a miniature rugby player. And only a single button  in the middle, so when I sit down it gapes right up to my waist and doesn't keep my legs warm at all. I wanted something tailored and beautiful, but with my stiff shoulder I just couldn't get them on. I've been wearing big wooly jumpers. Yesterday when I was trying on the purple dress I wasn't even going to try on a coat but the saleslady kept bringing over horrible boxy jackets which looked terrible on me (the only things in the store that did) so I pointed out a trenchcoat sort-of-thing without much hope I'd be able to get it on and off without assistance. She put it on me and it looked so good! Knee length and belted at the waist, you could just see a thin line of the purple dress at the bottom and then my long boots. I felt so amazing, with a curvy and feminine shape but not fat. I really really wanted it. So I tried to take it off alone. And then put it back on again. Easy!

My left shoulder has had a little more movement lately, I can suddenly almost reach the small of my back with my thumb, and I guess the coat material isn't really stiff. Anyway, I bought it of course. It is a bit lighter and thinner than my old overcoat (and shorter) but I think it will be enough. I have shown it off to everyone already with good results.

So, whether it was that particular shop, or the loss of four/five kilos (around ten pounds), I am feeling pretty happy with how I look in my new clothes.

Now to lose another five kilos before I need a new summer wardrobe!