Wedding

Monday:

I lost another 0.8kg this week, down to 73.3kg. I am mostly happy with smaller portions of healthier food, a couple of days I've been hungrier and I've just eaten a bit more. Some days I have breakfast, some I don't. Sometimes I have a snack in the afternoon, sometimes not. I always stop eating for the day straight after dinner (maybe with one chocolate from my Christmas stash for dessert). No evening snacks. And I've given up sugar in my tea (yet again). It's not the same. But worth it. My waist is down to 95cm.

My father-in-law's wedding was yesterday. Everyone was really concerned about the heat, the forecast was for about 37C. We got there an hour early to help set up and it was stinking hot. The plan was for the ceremony to be on the (unfinished) balcony with the rest of us on the grass but the promised strip of shade was tiny, not even enough for one row of chairs. We expecting nearly 50 people.

I just resigned myself to it and the kids and I helped inside in the air conditioning setting up the tables for dinner.

I should have made sure I got a photo of me with decent lighting! I was in my prettiest dress.

Luckily by 4.30 when everything was ready the sun had moved enough to get two rows of chairs in the shade, the rest were squeezed up on the balcony, and also it had cooled down a bit. The bride and groom decided on non-traditional attire! They looked great. Jasmine was a ring bearer along with a grandchild of Jo.

As soon as the ceremony was finished and they were signing the official forms, the looming skies opened and it began to pour rain (or 'piss down' as we say in Australia). Everyone ran for the house, leaving behind their chairs which we needed for the dinner despite me trying to get people to take them in. Me and a couple of other people went back and forth dragging them in. Someone even asked me to fetch the bag they had left behind in their rush! I don't mind the rain though, much better than heat.

The dinner was catered and quite good as these things go. Carved roast meat, a few hot dishes like lasagne, lots of salads. I ended up eating only a few hundred extra calories - but mostly in the form of sugar; dessert and a lemonade. It didn't make me feel great.

The wedding cake was unfortunately a bit of a disaster. Despite it being ordered weeks in advance and the baker contacted the day before, it wasn't ready and my sister-in-law had to wait around and stand over them while it was finished to a very poor standard. The 'cream cheese icing' was just tangy cream cheese like you'd put on a cracker not on a cake! The cake was overcooked and it didn't look professional at all. I don't think anyone ate more than a bite or two. My 2-year-old niece was so excited at the pink icing swirls until she tasted it then spat it out. Bit of a shame, but I don't think anyone cared much really. It's only cake. And we'd already had dessert.

The rain continued to pour and the flat front yard, with cars parked all over it, was a shallow lake. I raised the issue of bogging to the owner of the house and he checked outside then advised everyone to move their cars out to the shoulder of the road. By the time we left at 9.30 we had to wade to the car through ankle deep water up the long gravel driveway. I was the only one with dry feet - I was wearing boots! We had to dodge frogs on the road, but we made it home through the downpour. We heard today that the owner of a three-ton motorhome waited too long to move it and got bogged. They stayed overnight and tried again this morning only to dig it in deeper. They are going to have to winch it out.

Despite all the little disasters all these events tend to attract, it was a good day and I think they are well suited to each other.

Jasmine is about to turn 15 and she had her party today. Pool party with friends this afternoon, pizza (I made myself and Tim a healthy dinner and have stayed away from all the snacks, but I did have a slice of ridiculously expensive icecream cake) and two girls have stayed for a sleep over. They will be up watching movies half the night. Apart from providing food, I no longer need to organise anything. Her actual birthday is Wednesday which is Aiden's first day of High School but she doesn't start until the following day so we'll spend the day together.

I feel thinner

Monday:

I lost a massive 2.5kg this week, 2 of that since restarting Duromine, and I feel thinner already. I'm hoping for around 1kg per week from now on. Duromine (phentermine) doesn't lose the weight for you, but it suppresses appetite. It's so much easier to resist temptations, and there have been plenty. I didn't measure my waist at the start, but it was 96cm this morning which I think is my equal lowest. I tried a bit of TRE - time restricted eating - when you lengthen the overnight period you don't eat. No snacks after dinner and maybe a later breakfast or don't eat to lunchtime depending on how long you're going for. Apparently anything over 12 hours without eating lets your body go into autophagy which is the natural repair cycle - dumping old damaged cells and building new ones. Very beneficial. And you lose more weight eating the same amount of food over 24 hours if you eat in a smaller time window. I'm not pushing it - I eat when I get hungry - but I've never liked early breakfast and no snacking in the evening has got to be good for me!

My father-in-law is remarrying next weekend. His wife died 10 or so years ago of MS and he's been with his current partner Jo for about five. On Friday the 'girls' of the family took her out to dinner as a sort of Hen's night, then Saturday the 'boys' took Des out. She has children and grandchildren who will be there for the wedding of course but they don't live nearby so we did it. I have no concerns about the marriage, only the wedding itself which will be an hour inland from here at the groom's brother's property where the temperatures are up to 10 degrees hotter - in the middle on an Australian summer! The ceremony probably outdoors (under shade)! The forecast is for 37C. I am not looking forward to that. The dinner (catered roast on a spit I think) will be eaten inside in the air conditioning but even the roomiest house would be crowded with around 50 people. And when I visited that house a year ago it was still under construction and I was shocked to find out they had been building it for 20 years... apparently they have stairs up to the front door now so you don't have to climb on cinderblocks through the garage... I tried to talk them out of the venue, but it's their choice so I'll just have to sweat and bear it.

Tim is back at work today but the kids still have a week before school starts. My little Aiden starting High School! Still can't believe it.

Baby photos

Saturday:

I've spent the past couple of days putting together a collection of favourite family photos, which I plan to print out. I haven't printed physical copies for a few years! We lost a lot of photos once when a computer died, so it's good to have backups and physical copies of the best ones. And I'm scanning in some of the old prints so we have both physical and online versions!

So hard to choose favourites among the dozens of baby photos. I know everyone thinks their own children are cute, but honestly mine are the cutest!

Clearly they take after me!

Family

Monday:

I weighed 75.7 kg this morning. Up 0.5 kg. Definitely time to rein it in! I’ve still got a month until Christmas, time to lose a little or at least maintain. So I’ve started tracking calories again, which I haven’t done for a couple of weeks. And I went for a walk this morning despite a light rain. Pretty tired today after the big weekend. I watched the Miss Universe competition (Earth won again, the rest of the Universe needs to get its act together) and had a nap and just enjoyed not having to study!

On Saturday another person noticed my weight loss, only the second person to say anything. And I think she was shocked when I said I’d lost 9 kg! It really doesn’t look like I’ve lost that much. Clothes that were tight are now looser, but I haven’t gone down a size. I do have one pair of shorts in a smaller size that look good, but the smaller jeans I bought are skin tight and I’m scared to wash them because I know they will shrink a bit and I won’t be able to get them on. And I just got board shorts to go over my swimming cossie and I had to get my old size and they are still snug! I know that different designers use different measurements for their sizes, and also it depends where on the body you lose/gain weight, but I guess I thought 9 kg would be enough for a size down.

I just had a look online, a lot of people were saying it took around 10 kg for them to drop a clothing size, but a couple of short people said 5 kg (I’m short!) and others said they’d lost 16 or more kg and hadn’t needed new clothes! So it varies a lot! It’s not the number on tag that I’m after, exactly, except it’s an affirmation; it’s more that I want to buy some new clothes but I don’t want to waste money if I’ll soon need a lower size. Well without Duromine I’m unlikely to lose as quickly as I was, so I’ll just buy whatever fits me now. I don’t buy a lot of clothes, but I always like to have something new for Christmas. I’d buy more if I felt I look good in them, and I’m getting there.

Was I bemoaning only yesterday that I don’t get the family gossip any more? I miss those peaceful days already. I contacted my favourite cousin Kimberley about visiting our Poppa at the same time, she has passed on that my brother isn’t going to be invited to another cousin’s wedding. He’s frequently very late everywhere and sometimes drops out entirely (he didn’t come to the last wedding or even to our father’s funeral - he has OCD and finds socialising very difficult) and apparently they are worried about spending all that money on his place when it will likely be wasted. He arrived at this person’s engagement party after just about everyone else (including me) had left. And this wedding reception will be on a boat, if he misses it there is no way to join it late. I can understand their point, but also, well, it doesn’t seem very family to exclude him. Kimberley is angry about it, but then her side of the family is a bit at odds with the groom’s side at the moment due to the groom buying land from Poppa at what her side thinks was an unfairly low price (I disagree, the land was valued and I thought it was fair, and anyway we were all offered the same deal) ... I don’t want to be involved in that feud! But do I have to say something about excluding Darren because he is my brother? He probably wouldn’t even hear about it except through me. I haven’t got my invitation yet but the groom just checked my address with me so I assume it’s in the mail. Not even sure if I want to go. On a boat (I assume a harbour cruise) I won't be able to leave when I want to, I'll be tired and trapped, and I might get seasick. But this will be the last family wedding for my generation - unless someone has a second go later on! Everyone else is married, except Darren. He's the oldest, he'll be 50 next year.

Several guests yesterday brought gifts of wine or champagne which I know is a fairly safe hostess present for people you don't know well (there were some people from Tim's work, and some friends of a relative who was spending the day with them), but I don't drink much, so the gift I really appreciate was these beautiful flowers - peonies I think. Just lovely. I don't often buy myself flowers, maybe I should. I enjoy them growing in the garden though.

Wedding

Sunday:

We spent the weekend at a beach wedding, my cousin Lara who is the youngest of my generation on my side of the family - she was flowergirl at my wedding! And now all grown up and married. We drove down the coast on Friday evening, arriving about 9:30pm. In the morning the weather was as it had been for weeks - cloudy with intermittent rain. The ocean was beautiful but not something you'd dare swim in.

But this was the view from our cabin! Very friendly resident kangaroos.

We had breakfast at the café by the resort pool, walked along the beach, then lazed in our cabin or on the little balcony. I sat for a long time with a cup of tea just enjoying the sound of the waves and the smell of sea air. We were absolute beach front. The kids had a very short dip in the pool and came back blue with cold.

Back to the same café for lunch (nowhere else to go without driving to the next town), and just as we were finishing it started to rain in earnest. An hour before the outdoor wedding! But luckily the rain stopped just as the bridal party arrived.

So many people in the bridal party! Seven groomsmen, five bridemaids, lots of little flowergirls and a couple of page boys. (They stood in the traditional lines for the wedding, this photo was grouped afterwards, also father of the bride on the left and father of the groom on the right.)

Finally I present to you Mr and Mrs Walker! Lara was/is absolutely stunning. She is probably the most beautiful person I know. Also very smart and super athletic. She has a double degree and plays five different sports competitively. James is a doctor, and has climbed the highest mountain in South America and done seven marathons in seven days across a desert so I guess they are suited. He proposed five weeks after they met.

Me and Tim.

The reception was ok but I don't really have much to talk about with my relatives, they are nice but we just don't have much to say! I enjoyed chatting to a few cousins and seeing my Poppa (he will be 99 this year!) but there is one cousin who I am not fond of (I don't think he realises though!) and he managed to insult me about four times in his "joking" way - like commenting I was "pigging out" as I had a tiny prawn canapé... Anyway, we went back to bed early, after the speeches and a little bit of dancing.

Sunday dawned bright and clear and we actually had a sunny day. We went down the beach and Aiden had a splash in the waves while Jasmine and I took lots of artistic photos.

The kids patting a sleepy baby kangaroo.

We drove back up the coast with a long break at another little town for lunch. It was a good weekend away, we should do it more often!

Oh, and I got back to find I'd received 48/50 for the exam in my more difficult subject, yay! Haven't got any other results yet.

A week

Monday:

Goodness me, has a whole week gone by?

Weight 79.4kg, up a bit again. Still losing and regaining that one kilogram.

It is the middle of the semester so I have exams and assignments due. Very busy. Having a little trouble with shoulder pain. Tricky to balance getting all my studying done with taking lots of breaks from the computer. I expect to pass everything, but I'd like to do a lot better than a pass.

Also three birthdays (husband, sister-in-law and niece) and a wedding so I've been shopping and hosting and going to parties with more over the next week. I spent all day last Thursday present and clothes shopping, I needed something to wear to the wedding and everything I tried on looked awful. Went again on Saturday with Jasmine and found us both dresses which was a relief. Jasmine keeps growing out of her clothes, she is delighted that she is within a whisker of my height now. Not that that is so very tall! She probably weighs half as much as me. She does seven hours a week of after-school sport!

After a superheated summer we've gone into autumn with a month of almost continuous rain. It's cooler, but so humid. You start to wonder where all that water is coming from, don't the clouds run out eventually?

Time to head off to the city again. I will use the train ride to study!

Beach wedding

Sunday:

We spent the weekend at a beach wedding, with a lot of driving each way. Three and a half hours to Sydney, dropped the kids off with family, then another two and a half hours. The beach was beautiful and the weather perfect - at least I thought it was just the right temperature but the guests from sunny Queensland thought it was freezing! Depends what you are used to.

The bride was one of Tim's many cousins, I don't think I'd actually met her before. I didn't know a lot of people. Tim's father and a couple of aunts. Tim's brother was there, but as children weren't invited my sister-in-law just came to the beach ceremony with my niece and then they stayed at the beach while we went on to dinner.

You notice there are no photos of me. I did take some, but was deeply unhappy with them.

The reception was in a pavilion at a pretty farm. The grounds were lush and green with a partiere garden and roses. The food wasn't so great, but I kind of expect that at a wedding where the caterers are trying to feed so many people all at once. One unusual thing was that all the speeches were after the first course, so everyone got pretty hungry with the long wait before they got their main course and dessert. But the speeches were touching and funny.

We stayed at a hotel nearby and breakfasted near the water,

then headed back to Sydney. We'd left the kids with cousins who live a couple of blocks from the ocean, so they'd had a great time. We walked along the esplanade and had fish and chips at the beach (much more crowded than the isolated beach where the wedding was!)

then walked back.

It was a hot day, much hotter than yesterday, and I had sunscreen but no hat. By the end of all this time in the sun (including quite a few extra blocks to the car as there was no parking anywhere near where we wanted to go on such a lovely day) I was headachy and a bit nauseous. And sunburned on the side of my neck where I missed a bit with the sunscreen. The drive home seemed long and difficult and I was very glad to be home, but apart from possible mild sunstroke it was a lovely weekend away.

I can't wait until we're only 20 minutes away from the ocean!

Clothes

Friday:

My baby came home from overnight school camp this afternoon. I was so glad to have him home safe. Yes I know I'm an overprotective mother! His first half hour home was him sitting on my lap telling me all about it. He's getting a bit heavy, turning nine in two weeks, but still cuddly. He was wearing different clothes than I sent him away in yesterday, but the same socks (rather filthy now) and he smelled a bit sweaty. He says they didn't shower at camp. Well, he didn't, anyway! And he didn't get a lot of sleep in a cabin of 12 little boys. He had a great time.

I bought new jeans today - currently being altered for my oompa-loompa short legs. Usually I think jeans last me at least a year, but I only bought these ones in June. Four months! The inner thigh seams are wearing out, as usual. I always wait until the last moment, just in case I lose weight and can buy a smaller size. Alas, no.

I'm going to a wedding tomorrow and I'm a bit stressed about what to wear. It should be warm enough for my nice summer dress for the afternoon ceremony on the beach, but it might get cool later at the reception and my fancy evening dress has lace sleeves that I think are too tight for me now. There were uncomfortable enough last time that I regretted wearing it, and I haven't lost any weight since then - quite the opposite. I think I'd rather put up with being a bit cold than having my arms squeezed all night. It should be warm inside anyway. The wedding is for my husband's cousin, I know his mother's side of the family very well but this is from his father's side and they live further away so I've only met them a few times. But there will be some people I know, and hopefully it will be a good event.

It was Tim's last day at his current work location today. On Monday we start packing in earnest. It's a tricky balance, because we are still using the clothes and the kitchen appliances etc! I've already packed up most of the stuff we don't use regularly, months ago. But at some point we have to pack everything, and just live with very minimal stuff for a few days.

My cousin's wedding in a heatwave

Saturday:

 

Yesterday was my cousin's wedding. We left the kids with a friend for a sleepover, taking them over before school so we could drop off overnight suitcases. Then Tim and I set off for the four hour drive. It was a stinking hot day, 37 degrees C (98.6 F). And an hour into the trip there was a weird rattle from the engine, a bit of plastic may have fallen out (or I may have just driven over a bit of plastic on the road, not sure), and the steering became very sluggish. I pulled over and we looked at all the tyres and under the hood but there was nothing for our inexperienced eyes to see. I drove on cautiously and we realised that the air conditioning was no longer working. And Tim connected this to the resistant steering wheel (power steering gone) and that something must have gone wrong with the electrics. Not much we could do on the road in the middle of nowhere.

We continued on, the steering seemed safe enough it just took a lot more strength than usual to turn the wheel, especially at very low speeds like trying to park. Losing the air conditioning, on that particular day, was much more of a problem. The car got hotter and hotter. Opening the window was like opening an oven door, and the fan just blew hot air around. We had drinks, but I felt very dehydrated and horrible.

We got to mum's, dripping sweat and exhausted. There was no option of a different car as mum's had recently been rear-ended and hadn't been fixed yet. A drink and a quick cold shower was the best we could manage before getting into our wedding gear and back into the hot car. Tim had a stressful 45 minute drive through unfamiliar territory but we found the church and made it just before the bridal party.

The ceremony was nice if very short (less than 15 minutes, cut to the bare bones - it was a Catholic church for the groom and I would have expected something much longer) then we stood outside under the shade of trees for as long as we could bear before Tim and I with mum and my brother headed off to a nearby pub to sit in the air conditioning and have about six cold drinks.

Mum was coping amazingly well with the heat, considering. Actually she was getting cold easily and carried a shawl around. She has been really tired again lately. Very worryingly, her whole abdomen has swelled up and is hard and uncomfortable. She looked pregnant. Her GP (family doctor) had no idea what was going on so she is waiting to see her oncologist (she has breast cancer that has spread to her bones) in two weeks to have a new round of tests.

The reception was at a restaurant right in the middle of the city, almost directly under the end of the Sydney Harbour Bridge.

Poor Tim had to drive us through the middle of the city in heavy traffic as people left work for the day. It was nice being right on the water, by that time we were starting to get a little breeze as relief from the horrible heat. My outfit looks hot but actually it was light and floaty with air vents and I don't think I was much hotter than in shorts and a T-shirt.

The reception was nice with good food, funny speeches and a good band. I didn't overeat and I drank a lot of water as well as some juice and a couple of soft drinks. I was chugging down liquids all day but hardly had to go to the bathroom at all, I guess my body wasn't willing to give up any of that precious fluid! No alcohol, it only makes me feel a lot hotter.

Of course my cousin looked lovely. And very slender.

Almost as soon as the formal part of the evening was over and the dancing started, mum said she was tired and the music was too loud and she was ready to go home. So we drove back in the much cooler evening and stayed at mum's house. She tried to check we had everything we needed but after she went to bed I found I didn't have any sheets. I was sleeping in the spare room (where my kids usually sleep) and Tim had the tiny futon that we usually share all to himself. I just draped the quilt thing over one leg and that was fine. I was too tired and hot to care.

Today was much cooler, thank goodness, and we made it back to pick up the kids before lunch. And came home to find our hot water heater had sprung a leak and the laundry floor covered in water. I rang and organised someone to look at the car Monday morning and Tim rang and organised someone to come and fix the hot water tank Monday afternoon and then we both collapsed.

The new expansion for the computer game World of Warcraft just came out on Thursday. We tried to log in then but there was a long queue because so many people are playing, and I went to bed before we got to the front of the line. Tim stayed up and played a little bit but we like to play together, as a team. As soon as we got home today we logged on to get in the queue. That was two and a half hours ago. Tim's computer currently says "Position in queue: 2121. Estimated time: 822 minutes". So I don't know if we'll get on before tomorrow! Oh the estimated time has changed to 316 minutes (it changes a lot), so maybe tonight? It will all settle down in a week or two, usually there is no queue at all, but right now everyone is excited about the new content. We'll get to play eventually. I just glad to be home in the cool.

New clothes

Tuesday:

I had a very busy but productive day today. I spent basically the entire morning looking for something to wear to this wedding on Friday. I was running out of time to buy, especially as a lot of things I buy have to be altered to fit because I am so short. Today I was feeling much better, nearly over my cold, so I was up to stressful shopping. Clothes shopping is definitely stressful when you are unhappy with the way you look in just about anything. You have to compromise between finding something you think you look good in and realising that you are not going to look like Elle McPhearson no matter how many dresses you try on. Every outfit you ask "is this as good as it gets?"

I chose a pair of floaty black pants, very interesting actually and not at all like work trousers, and a floaty purple top. I felt a bit like a gypsy. It is going to be a stinking hot day but I decided I would be more comfortable in loose pants than with my thighs rubbing together. I was happy with my eventual choice.

Then I realised how late it was getting and rushed to my hair appointment without having any time for lunch. Happy with my haircut too. I'll take a picture when I'm all made up and not so much red nose and bleary eyes.

At 2pm (so late for me, I always eat at noon) I grabbed lunch, put in the trousers for alteration, got a script at the chemist and asked them to check my blood pressure. The lady tried four times but kept getting an error message. All that arm-squeezing pain for nothing! I'll have to wait for my doctor next week. My blood sugars have been consistently high yesterday and today (I hadn't checked it for a while before that) but apparently being sick can mess with that. If you're diabetic. I've booked in for the diabetes blood test I didn't have six months ago, next Monday when presumably I'll be completely over my cold so the results should be accurate. The great news is you no longer need to carb load for three days beforehand! I always hated doing that. But I am definitely a bit worried, my pre-diabetes had seemed to be improving last time I was tested 18 months ago.

I got home just minutes before the kids and their playdate guests, had a nice chat with my friend, took my daughter to dance, got a rotisserie chicken on the way home because I hadn't had time to do grocery shopping today, then had Dungeons and Dragons night. I'm really not enjoying it at all lately, my favourite bit is the combat and we get to do that about one session in four this campaign (usually it should be every session, or I think so anyway!). It's all debate about what to do next and how to achieve our goals. Hours of it. Boring. I want to charge in and kill the monsters! But we can't because they are usually too tough for us and we have to be sneaky and clever. Blah. I spend a lot of type rudely playing with my phone. But they know how I feel.

At least with the playdate and the games night I put out all the rest of the cake and party leftovers so that is all gone instead of sitting around tempting me. I'd already tipped chips into the bin to avoid eating the whole packet after I couldn't resist opening them. Gone now.

Climbing the mountain

Monday:

I knew I wasn't going to lose weight this week. I hadn't quite anticipated gaining a whole kilogram. It is a strongly worded reminder that I can't eat whatever I like, even if I am exercising a bit. So I'm back to restricting my eating from today.

Restricting. Now there is a word. I have quite a vivid mental image about dieting. Me not dieting - I have big doors in the front of my body open to the world. Fresh air, bright streamers, freedom, all flow in and out of my body. It's a warm spring day with a light pleasant breeze. Me dieting - the doors are shut. I am cold and rigid and hunched over like the Tin Man without his oil can. Nothing gets in, nothing gets out. Gloomy.

Probably not the best frame of mind to bring to a diet. I need to work on that just as much as the actual eating.

I have a big motivation at the moment, one that speaks to vanity. I just realised my cousin's wedding is just under four weeks away. I have talked about my mother's family before. Aside from me and my mum, they are all very slender, tanned, athletic. My aunts in their 60s all still play competition tennis and look fabulous. I definitely feel like the ugly duckling amongst them. I'm the smart fat one. Now we are all adults I only see them at Christmas and the occasional wedding or other big event. And every time one of these occasions looms I feel despair about my weight. I even avoid going sometimes. I am not exaggerating when I say mum and I will likely be the only overweight women at this wedding. Actually, what with the cancer mum has lost a lot of weight so it will just be me.

Just thinking about it makes me feel depressed. I'm so short and dumpy, like a hippo in a giraffe colony.

Four weeks. How much can I lose in four weeks?

So I wasn't in the best frame of mind when I went to the gym. But I went! I started with 30 mins on the elliptical. I put the resistance up to 5 (up from 3 last week) and it was much harder. It felt like I was climbing a mountain. No speed intervals today, I just slogged on. With my eyes closed some of the time. Pushing, pushing. Not giving up. Not feeling very happy about it.

Then I got on the rowing machine and did my 20 mins there. I put that up to 5 as well, but it didn't feel much different to 3. I used to row on resistance 10 and I don't know that it feels much harder. But I'll move up gradually anyway. While rowing, I started trying to turn my point of view around. First I thought about changing my picture of me "not dieting" to being bloated and sickly and sad. But then I decided not to. I don't want to demonise any kind of food. I don't want to link having a treat with feeling horrible. So instead I worked on my image of me "dieting", changing it from the very negative deprived unhappy picture I had to something more positive. Here is what I came up with:

I am standing on the top of a mountain, which I have just climbed. It is sunny and fresh with a magnificent view of nature. I am pleasantly tired, but not exhausted because my fit healthy body can climb a mountain without feeling like I'm going to die. I feel happy and calm. I am a bit hungry, and there is a picnic laid out with delicious healthy food. The fresh fruit is especially appealing to my well-deserved thirst. There are no artificial restrictions on what I can or can't eat, because I will enjoy eating the right amount of healthy food to nourish and replenish my body.

So, that is what I am trying to picture when I think of myself being "on a diet". Not restricting, but nourishing and nurturing my body so it can do the things I want it to do.

I finished at the gym with 10 mins on the treadmill, not fast but on an incline. Another mountain to climb! But by this time I was feeling quite cheerful. And they had an old repeat of a sit-com on the nearest TV and it was quite funny. So I ended on a high.

On the beach

Thursday:

I'm back! We've been away on holidays.

First news, we have successfully put a holding deposit on the boy puppy after missing out on the girl, and after much thought have decided to name him Thor. Blond and gorgeous!

On Saturday we drove to Sydney to my husband's aunt's wedding. She is the disorganised kind, so I bet my husband that she would be at least an hour late - but no! Right on time. The wedding and the reception both went smoothly. The only bad thing that happened was that the kids were playing on a knee-high wall behind the church after the ceremony and Jasmine slipped off, grazing her thigh badly on the way down. Honestly, it was as big as my hand (including fingers). She was upset at first, of course, but after the pain subsided a bit I think she rather enjoyed having it to show everyone and get a lot of sympathy. Hmmm, I wonder where she gets that from...

We spent the night and the next morning at my brother-in-law's so we got to see my cute little niece, then Sunday afternoon and night at my mum's. One of her legs has swollen up badly each time after she's had a bone-strengthening injection, so she needs to see someone about that. She was limping a bit worse because of it. A couple of days before we arrived, one of the house drainage pipes collapsed so when my brother had one of his eight hour showers (he has OCD) the house flooded. He just went to bed and mum got up the next morning to sodden carpets, which she felt too overwhelmed to do anything about. She didn't even put down towels or anything. We tried to dry it up a bit when we were there, and she had at least organised a plumber who came when we were there. She and my brother are fighting more about his hoarding, now that her health isn't so good she isn't coping as well with that stuff. It will be a great thing for her when she moves to a nursing home and finally makes him get his own apartment (which she will pay for). It's all just too much.

After those dramas we headed off down the coast to a seaside resort town called Kiama. Tim and I used to go there before we had kids. In fact our first holiday together was there after we had been dating for three months. He got food poisoning (or a virus maybe) one night and spent all night throwing up. Bit of a tester for a new relationship! I had to negotiate with the hotel for an extra night because he was too weak to leave bed the next day.

Anyway, Kiama is lovely and I don't know why we hadn't been back since we had children. I booked the hotel in a bit of a rush and "family room" turned out to be extra beds squeezed into a normal small room, but the view was great and the weather was very interesting. Hot sunny days changing to freezing heavy storms in the space of a few minutes, and back again. We watched the sky and spent as much time as we could out of doors and had a lovely time. Beaches and long walks and seeing the two blowholes and trying different restaurants.

On the way back we went on a suspended walkway high above the treetops on the side of a mountain. None of my photos really did it justice. Very very high. Not bad for someone scared of heights!

Looking forward to my own bed.

Family wedding weekend eat-fest

Sunday:

Have just finished a huge eating weekend. We drove to Sydney on Saturday, having McDonald's for lunch on the way (it is basically that or KFC, but it was still my choice to have nuggets and chips rather than a salad) then left the kids at my mum's and went to the wedding of Tim's cousin Aimee. I felt I was being moderate; a couple of hors d'oevres, one glass of champage and half a glass of wine, the three course meal ... bread roll with butter ... chocolates ... glass of orange juice ... yeah it all adds up. Burned a couple of calories on the dance floor but the party ended soon after 9 pm so it was back to mum's and to bed.

Next morning I had a rasher of bacon and two slices of vegemite toast, much more than I usually have. Yum Cha with my brother-in-law and his wife, some of it fried. A Magnum ice-cream during the long drive home. Reasonably healthy dinner at home, but the damage was done. I just coded it all in to the Weight Watchers ProPoints tracker, guesstimating many things of course, and I have used up every one of my weekly PP already. Still four days to go, just living on my daily points! Nothing for supper on Tuesday, definitely no take-away on Wednesday. I'll just have to earn some extra with lots of exercise to get me through. And eat a lot of "free" fruit and vegetables! Precious few of those over the past couple of days.

I really don't want another gain this week, so I am going to work very hard for the next four days.