Thursday:
I had my x-ray and ultrasound this morning on my left shoulder. I don't have the official results yet, but I talked to the woman doing the ultrasound quite a bit. She said I had no bursitis (inflammation) and therefore didn't need a cortisone injection. In fact she couldn't see anything unusual going on. Just the tear that I did more than four years ago that we already knew about.
I got some clarification on that. And it turns out that tears don't heal. Once your tendon tears off your bone, it does not repair itself.
If I was ever told that before, I forgot or blocked it out. I even went back and read my blog posts around that time and couldn't find any indication that I knew it, although it is not explicit either way. But I'm sure I was always expecting it to heal eventually.
So it was a bit of a blow.
The advice of the ultrasound lady (and my doctor on Tuesday) is that I go to physiotherapy and do regular mobility exercises, as I did when I first had the tear, because I need to encourage the muscles around my shoulder to take over the jobs the tendon was doing. It will give me more mobility, although not help with pain (I think).
It is certainly much better than when I originally injured it, I was in a lot of pain then and could hardly lift my arm. A year and a half after that, 14 June 2012, my blog mentions satisfaction that I could now get my arm far enough behind my back that I could just touch the small of my back with my thumb. That is where I still am now. So it healed a bit or the muscles took over or whatever, and I had an injection in Feb 2011 to deal with inflammation and pain, but then it got to that point and no further.
I am finding it difficult news to cope with. I've had so much pain and stiffness and therapy in both my shoulders now (the right shoulder was occupational overuse, I had to leave work because of it and still can't do full-time work 15 years later). Maybe I have some basic weakness in that part of my body.
I did turn to food for comfort. I know that is a very bad habit of mine.
Our power was turned off in the afternoon for some planned maintenance. No heat, no computer or TV, no kettle for tea! As I was feeling pretty miserable, I snuggled down in bed for a hour for a "woe is me" session.
I'll be ok. Just sad today.
Wednesday, May 6, 2015
Tuesday, May 5, 2015
Shoulder
Tuesday:
I saw my doctor this morning about continuing pain and stiffness in my left shoulder, more than four years since the original tendon tear. She gave me a referral to x-ray (for arthritis) and ultrasound (for bursitis) with possible steroid injection, some mobility exercises and a suggestion to see a physio. Since I was able to book in the tests for the day after tomorrow, I'll wait for results before finding a physio. That sounds like things are moving forward, but actually my doctor basically said that as I am over 40 I've got to expect this kind of thing. Tears and stiffness and pain are normal for me now and I'll probably just have to put up with it and manage things with regular mobility exercises and anti inflammatory/pain killing medication as needed. Surgery probably wouldn't help. I am not yet prepared to give up on getting back to real health. I'll see what these tests say as a first step so I know what is actually going on, but I am not just going to accept that I'm stuck with this. I put up with it for four and a half years assuming it would eventually get better on its own, it seems that isn't going to happen so I need to be more proactive about it. It really does affect my life too much.
I did the grocery shopping and went home, then got a text that my glasses were ready to be picked up. I also had a library book that needed to be returned today (or else 25 cents per day fine!). I decided to walk the 5 km round trip to do my two errands. I just had time before school finished, and was pretty tired by the end. I had to walk briskly, especially after I had to wait ages at the optometrist. I like my new glasses and everyone noticed them. Oh, except my husband. (He did eventually). They are quite differ from the old ones, which were pale pink. These are purple. Yes, yes, I am overdoing the purple a bit. It's a good colour for winter though.
After school we went to a friend's house, I took grapes and she put out some yummy savoury crackers and chocolate biscuits. At first I ate nothing, just had my tea, but I got really hungry so I had some grapes. It was a low carb day today but I am fine with my choice. I had to sit and watch my friend and our four kids and their dog all stuffing themselves! Sticking to grapes was commendable, I think! Bending with the winds of circumstance, not breaking. (I was in a real rush after my walk and didn't have time to organise some kind of protein + fat snack for myself that would be enough to share with everyone.)
Fish and salad for dinner. I had a very clean eating day today. My renewed diet vigour is partly because the 48 hour weigh-out window for month three of my six month dietbet has started. I have my timestamp word SPINACH on a flashcard in front of me here. You weigh yourself with the word in the photo so they know it was taken on the right day. The cumulative weight loss needed for this weigh-out is 8% -- there is no way I'll make that. I lost weight in the first month but regained it all in the second, so losing all that plus more was near impossible. My personal goal for this month is 4% of my starting weight, which will get me back on the right track towards catching up by the end of the six months for the final weigh-out. It is still a big ask but I am hopeful. I ate well and exercised today and will do again tomorrow, who knows what Thursday morning's scale will bring?
Report card:
Diet: Great.
Exercise: Great. Over 12,000 steps.
Water: Excellent.
Sleep: Good.
Mental health: Good.
I saw my doctor this morning about continuing pain and stiffness in my left shoulder, more than four years since the original tendon tear. She gave me a referral to x-ray (for arthritis) and ultrasound (for bursitis) with possible steroid injection, some mobility exercises and a suggestion to see a physio. Since I was able to book in the tests for the day after tomorrow, I'll wait for results before finding a physio. That sounds like things are moving forward, but actually my doctor basically said that as I am over 40 I've got to expect this kind of thing. Tears and stiffness and pain are normal for me now and I'll probably just have to put up with it and manage things with regular mobility exercises and anti inflammatory/pain killing medication as needed. Surgery probably wouldn't help. I am not yet prepared to give up on getting back to real health. I'll see what these tests say as a first step so I know what is actually going on, but I am not just going to accept that I'm stuck with this. I put up with it for four and a half years assuming it would eventually get better on its own, it seems that isn't going to happen so I need to be more proactive about it. It really does affect my life too much.
I did the grocery shopping and went home, then got a text that my glasses were ready to be picked up. I also had a library book that needed to be returned today (or else 25 cents per day fine!). I decided to walk the 5 km round trip to do my two errands. I just had time before school finished, and was pretty tired by the end. I had to walk briskly, especially after I had to wait ages at the optometrist. I like my new glasses and everyone noticed them. Oh, except my husband. (He did eventually). They are quite differ from the old ones, which were pale pink. These are purple. Yes, yes, I am overdoing the purple a bit. It's a good colour for winter though.
After school we went to a friend's house, I took grapes and she put out some yummy savoury crackers and chocolate biscuits. At first I ate nothing, just had my tea, but I got really hungry so I had some grapes. It was a low carb day today but I am fine with my choice. I had to sit and watch my friend and our four kids and their dog all stuffing themselves! Sticking to grapes was commendable, I think! Bending with the winds of circumstance, not breaking. (I was in a real rush after my walk and didn't have time to organise some kind of protein + fat snack for myself that would be enough to share with everyone.)
Fish and salad for dinner. I had a very clean eating day today. My renewed diet vigour is partly because the 48 hour weigh-out window for month three of my six month dietbet has started. I have my timestamp word SPINACH on a flashcard in front of me here. You weigh yourself with the word in the photo so they know it was taken on the right day. The cumulative weight loss needed for this weigh-out is 8% -- there is no way I'll make that. I lost weight in the first month but regained it all in the second, so losing all that plus more was near impossible. My personal goal for this month is 4% of my starting weight, which will get me back on the right track towards catching up by the end of the six months for the final weigh-out. It is still a big ask but I am hopeful. I ate well and exercised today and will do again tomorrow, who knows what Thursday morning's scale will bring?
Report card:
Diet: Great.
Exercise: Great. Over 12,000 steps.
Water: Excellent.
Sleep: Good.
Mental health: Good.
Monday, May 4, 2015
Clean carpet
Monday:
We had our carpets cleaned first thing this morning, so we got up early to move all the smaller furniture off the carpet. Our house is all carpet! Everything was squeezed into the kitchen and bathrooms, leaving narrow corridors to essential locations. Got the kids off to school a little early and I sat in the kitchen putting up with the smell from the detergent warring with the freezing air from the open window. I'm hoping the carpet will clean up well enough that we don't have to replace it, it depends if the stains resurface after a couple of days. Last time we had a professional clean was shortly before we said goodbye to Thor. He was mostly housetrained by then, but not 100%. The carpet always looks beautiful after a clean, but sometimes stains mysteriously reappear.
I really need to get on with organising some minor repairs, either for selling the house or just for us to live here more comfortably. We are not at all handy people, more academic nerdy types. Still, I'm sure we can learn how to replace a tap washer or a door handle. Everything is online these days. We need to replace most of the blinds and curtains too. The only major thing that needs doing is some work on the ensuite bathroom. Unless we renovate instead of moving, then who knows the extent of the changes?
I've been watching various shows about renovating and selling homes, and apart from cleaning and repairing the house the main thing they recommend before trying to sell is to make the house very generic. Nothing that shows your personality. Furnish with a minimum of furniture, no clutter or knick knacks or feature walls or family photos. It seems a little boring and soulless to me, I like a house with personality, but apparently it can make it hard for other people to imagine themselves there. You want a showroom look, not a home.
Seeing my house almost empty of furniture except the beds and big items, I can understand their point. It looks pretty appealing. And much bigger!
I remember I loved this house the moment I walked in, and it has been a great house for us, but I think one thing that influenced me was it was a really hot day when I first viewed it and the lovely air conditioning was on! It has its faults, like all houses, and it's become a bit small for us with two active children, I am ready for a move if we can just work out where.
After the carpet cleaning guy was finished I went out for a walk. Really nice late-autumn day.
I spent the afternoon clearing out my desk drawers and filing cabinet and also going through some paperwork I brought from mum's house, and typing up her Eulogy. That was a bit exhausting, both emotionally and physically - my back was aching from lots of bending. And my brother called and we talked about dad being sick and how worrying that was. The kids didn't get home until 5:30 after French lesson and playing at a friend's house, so I was home alone until then. Long story short, I was feeling tired and sad by the end of the day and couldn't handle the idea of cooking dinner. I ordered pizza. I can't defend that choice. It certainly wasn't on the plan today, or anywhere close.
Report card:
Diet: Poor.
Exercise: Ok. A half hour walk.
Water: Poor. (When I let some of my rules go, I guess they all go.)
Sleep: Good.
Mental health: Poor.
We had our carpets cleaned first thing this morning, so we got up early to move all the smaller furniture off the carpet. Our house is all carpet! Everything was squeezed into the kitchen and bathrooms, leaving narrow corridors to essential locations. Got the kids off to school a little early and I sat in the kitchen putting up with the smell from the detergent warring with the freezing air from the open window. I'm hoping the carpet will clean up well enough that we don't have to replace it, it depends if the stains resurface after a couple of days. Last time we had a professional clean was shortly before we said goodbye to Thor. He was mostly housetrained by then, but not 100%. The carpet always looks beautiful after a clean, but sometimes stains mysteriously reappear.
I really need to get on with organising some minor repairs, either for selling the house or just for us to live here more comfortably. We are not at all handy people, more academic nerdy types. Still, I'm sure we can learn how to replace a tap washer or a door handle. Everything is online these days. We need to replace most of the blinds and curtains too. The only major thing that needs doing is some work on the ensuite bathroom. Unless we renovate instead of moving, then who knows the extent of the changes?
I've been watching various shows about renovating and selling homes, and apart from cleaning and repairing the house the main thing they recommend before trying to sell is to make the house very generic. Nothing that shows your personality. Furnish with a minimum of furniture, no clutter or knick knacks or feature walls or family photos. It seems a little boring and soulless to me, I like a house with personality, but apparently it can make it hard for other people to imagine themselves there. You want a showroom look, not a home.
Seeing my house almost empty of furniture except the beds and big items, I can understand their point. It looks pretty appealing. And much bigger!
I remember I loved this house the moment I walked in, and it has been a great house for us, but I think one thing that influenced me was it was a really hot day when I first viewed it and the lovely air conditioning was on! It has its faults, like all houses, and it's become a bit small for us with two active children, I am ready for a move if we can just work out where.
After the carpet cleaning guy was finished I went out for a walk. Really nice late-autumn day.
I spent the afternoon clearing out my desk drawers and filing cabinet and also going through some paperwork I brought from mum's house, and typing up her Eulogy. That was a bit exhausting, both emotionally and physically - my back was aching from lots of bending. And my brother called and we talked about dad being sick and how worrying that was. The kids didn't get home until 5:30 after French lesson and playing at a friend's house, so I was home alone until then. Long story short, I was feeling tired and sad by the end of the day and couldn't handle the idea of cooking dinner. I ordered pizza. I can't defend that choice. It certainly wasn't on the plan today, or anywhere close.
Report card:
Diet: Poor.
Exercise: Ok. A half hour walk.
Water: Poor. (When I let some of my rules go, I guess they all go.)
Sleep: Good.
Mental health: Poor.
Sunday, May 3, 2015
Eulogy
[I've been meaning to type this out for a while, it is the eulogy I gave at my mother's funeral. I was cleaning out my desk drawers and some of mum's stuff I'd brought over from her house and found this:
I had a hard time not crying over it. It will make sense when you read on.]
EULOGY FOR MY MOTHER
When I first visited mum in hospital, a few days before Christmas, I took in some mail and opened it for her. One of the items was this (held up):
It was the third time she'd done tertiary studies. She was determined to finish her degree before she died and she studied, one subject at a time, all through her illness. She graduated just two weeks before she died. [Several of the people she worked with came up to me after the funeral and told me how glad they were to hear she had finished.]
From my point of view, as her child, mum's life revolved around teaching, learning, and children.
After High School she went to Teachers' College and then taught Kindergarten. Then she got married and had her own children. Craig, Darren, Natalie and Michelle. It was a great tragedy of her life that two of those children died. My twin Michelle was unwell from birth and died at four months. Craig was ten when he was playing on railroad tracks and hit by a train and killed. Many years later, mum did a Creative Writing course specifically so that she could express herself better, so that she could write about Craig's death and let out some of that pain.
Through divorce and the deaths of Michelle and Craig; teaching, learning and children stayed central to her life. She became very involved in the Nursing Mothers' Association of Australia, now called the Australian Breastfeeding Association. At that time, in the 1960s, mothers had lost a lot of knowledge and power in regard to feeding their own children. Babies were generally kept in a different room in the hospital right from birth and fed on a rigid schedule, or else just given a bottle. Often never seeing anyone else breastfeed, a generation of women weren't sure how to do what should have come naturally.
The Nursing Mothers' Association was founded in Melbourne, where mum was living, in 1964 and she joined when it was still in its infancy - probably in 1965 when Craig was born. She moved to Sydney a few years later and helped expand the organisation into NSW. She gave advice to hundreds of mothers as a phone counsellor, trained innumerable other counsellors, ran meetings and organised conferences, and was eventually NSW Branch President. I spent a lot of my childhood folding newsletters and putting them in envelopes, and watching mum try to cook dinner while giving advice over the phone. She helped so many new mothers gain confidence in how, when and why to breastfeed their babies.
Mum read to us from an early age: I remember 'The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe' and lots of Enid Blyton. When I was old enough I would read ahead by myself, but then still snuggle down with her in the big bed to hear it again. She instilled in me a love of reading that I think is one of the best gifts you can give anyone.
She was always reading to herself as well, on a wide range of subjects; historical, crime fiction, fantasy, textbooks, newspapers. Anything that interested her, and a lot of things did.
Mum loved Trivial Pursuit, cryptic crosswords, and took up Sudoku when it came to Australia. Whatever challenged her mind. She went on the TV show 'Sale of the Century'. She was too slow at pressing the buzzer to win, but she got two out of the three 'who am I' questions when she had enough time and it wasn't all about fast reflexes. I was in the live audience and I remember that every ad-break the make-up people would hurry over and put more shiny red lipstick on her, and as soon as they had gone she would blot it off.
When I was a teenager, mum went to Uni to do some media studies, as far as I am aware it was just for fun because learning is enjoyable and all knowledge is worth having. One of her projects involved interviewing Allan Pease who was a communication and body language expert whose books mum was interested in. She also did one year of Linguistics, the technical study of how language works. She didn't continue with that subject, but she made it sound so interesting that I took it when I went to Uni, setting me on the path of my eventual career as an editor.
Mum returned to full time work teaching adults how to work in Childcare. Yet again she devoted years to improving the lives of children by showing others how to look after them. And while doing so, she studied for her Bachelor of Education - which she didn't need to do - to keep her own knowledge and skills up to date so that she could be the best teacher possible, and because she loved learning for its own sake. She got excellent marks, too, even in her final year.
Mum was good at most subjects, but she told me she failed one unit back in Teachers' College. As a Kindergarten teacher, she had to be able to play simple tunes on the piano and lead the children in singing. Playing the piano was fine, but unfortunately mum was tone deaf and couldn't carry a tune. They failed her rendition of 'Happy Birthday'.
She was also terrible with technology. She went through a lot of mobile phones; lost or broken or so out of power that they could not be revived - but I think mainly she would give up on ever learning how to use the current one and go and buy whatever the salesman convinced her was the easiest and most basic model.
In her early years teaching TAFE, the students would do skits taking off the teachers' mannerisms. Mum told me about one they did of her trying to get the Video Player to work. Getting flustered, dropping papers, trying to work out why the video wasn't going yet, eventually getting a student to help her. Mum loved it. It was funny, true, and affectionate. [hence the 'where's the remote' award]
Nearly eleven years ago, mum got her first grandchild and she suddenly started visiting us a lot more often! It was a shame the my husband's work kept us in Canberra, but we visited back and forth frequently. Mum babysat Jasmine and later Aiden, read to them, did craft with them that always seemed to involve lots of flowers and leaves from the garden, took a million photos of them when she could get a camera working, and gave them endless cuddles. My husband's mother has also passed away and it is sad to know that from now on my children will miss all the benefits of having a loving grandmother.
I think my brother Darren will miss her most of all as he spent the most time with her throughout his life. She looked after him, and then he looked after her. With me so far away, he did everything and I thank him for that.
I had a wonderful mother and I was lucky to have her. But there are also hundreds or thousands of people out there who were lucky to have had her as a teacher: when they were in Kindergarten, maybe their first time away from their own mothers; when they were a new mother themselves and struggling with something they thought would be so easy; or as a young adult learning a new career and hoping to be as good at it as she was. We are all lucky to have known her.
EULOGY FOR MY MOTHER
When I first visited mum in hospital, a few days before Christmas, I took in some mail and opened it for her. One of the items was this (held up):
From my point of view, as her child, mum's life revolved around teaching, learning, and children.
After High School she went to Teachers' College and then taught Kindergarten. Then she got married and had her own children. Craig, Darren, Natalie and Michelle. It was a great tragedy of her life that two of those children died. My twin Michelle was unwell from birth and died at four months. Craig was ten when he was playing on railroad tracks and hit by a train and killed. Many years later, mum did a Creative Writing course specifically so that she could express herself better, so that she could write about Craig's death and let out some of that pain.
Through divorce and the deaths of Michelle and Craig; teaching, learning and children stayed central to her life. She became very involved in the Nursing Mothers' Association of Australia, now called the Australian Breastfeeding Association. At that time, in the 1960s, mothers had lost a lot of knowledge and power in regard to feeding their own children. Babies were generally kept in a different room in the hospital right from birth and fed on a rigid schedule, or else just given a bottle. Often never seeing anyone else breastfeed, a generation of women weren't sure how to do what should have come naturally.
The Nursing Mothers' Association was founded in Melbourne, where mum was living, in 1964 and she joined when it was still in its infancy - probably in 1965 when Craig was born. She moved to Sydney a few years later and helped expand the organisation into NSW. She gave advice to hundreds of mothers as a phone counsellor, trained innumerable other counsellors, ran meetings and organised conferences, and was eventually NSW Branch President. I spent a lot of my childhood folding newsletters and putting them in envelopes, and watching mum try to cook dinner while giving advice over the phone. She helped so many new mothers gain confidence in how, when and why to breastfeed their babies.
Mum read to us from an early age: I remember 'The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe' and lots of Enid Blyton. When I was old enough I would read ahead by myself, but then still snuggle down with her in the big bed to hear it again. She instilled in me a love of reading that I think is one of the best gifts you can give anyone.
She was always reading to herself as well, on a wide range of subjects; historical, crime fiction, fantasy, textbooks, newspapers. Anything that interested her, and a lot of things did.
Mum loved Trivial Pursuit, cryptic crosswords, and took up Sudoku when it came to Australia. Whatever challenged her mind. She went on the TV show 'Sale of the Century'. She was too slow at pressing the buzzer to win, but she got two out of the three 'who am I' questions when she had enough time and it wasn't all about fast reflexes. I was in the live audience and I remember that every ad-break the make-up people would hurry over and put more shiny red lipstick on her, and as soon as they had gone she would blot it off.
When I was a teenager, mum went to Uni to do some media studies, as far as I am aware it was just for fun because learning is enjoyable and all knowledge is worth having. One of her projects involved interviewing Allan Pease who was a communication and body language expert whose books mum was interested in. She also did one year of Linguistics, the technical study of how language works. She didn't continue with that subject, but she made it sound so interesting that I took it when I went to Uni, setting me on the path of my eventual career as an editor.
Mum returned to full time work teaching adults how to work in Childcare. Yet again she devoted years to improving the lives of children by showing others how to look after them. And while doing so, she studied for her Bachelor of Education - which she didn't need to do - to keep her own knowledge and skills up to date so that she could be the best teacher possible, and because she loved learning for its own sake. She got excellent marks, too, even in her final year.
Mum was good at most subjects, but she told me she failed one unit back in Teachers' College. As a Kindergarten teacher, she had to be able to play simple tunes on the piano and lead the children in singing. Playing the piano was fine, but unfortunately mum was tone deaf and couldn't carry a tune. They failed her rendition of 'Happy Birthday'.
She was also terrible with technology. She went through a lot of mobile phones; lost or broken or so out of power that they could not be revived - but I think mainly she would give up on ever learning how to use the current one and go and buy whatever the salesman convinced her was the easiest and most basic model.
In her early years teaching TAFE, the students would do skits taking off the teachers' mannerisms. Mum told me about one they did of her trying to get the Video Player to work. Getting flustered, dropping papers, trying to work out why the video wasn't going yet, eventually getting a student to help her. Mum loved it. It was funny, true, and affectionate. [hence the 'where's the remote' award]
Nearly eleven years ago, mum got her first grandchild and she suddenly started visiting us a lot more often! It was a shame the my husband's work kept us in Canberra, but we visited back and forth frequently. Mum babysat Jasmine and later Aiden, read to them, did craft with them that always seemed to involve lots of flowers and leaves from the garden, took a million photos of them when she could get a camera working, and gave them endless cuddles. My husband's mother has also passed away and it is sad to know that from now on my children will miss all the benefits of having a loving grandmother.
I think my brother Darren will miss her most of all as he spent the most time with her throughout his life. She looked after him, and then he looked after her. With me so far away, he did everything and I thank him for that.
I had a wonderful mother and I was lucky to have her. But there are also hundreds or thousands of people out there who were lucky to have had her as a teacher: when they were in Kindergarten, maybe their first time away from their own mothers; when they were a new mother themselves and struggling with something they thought would be so easy; or as a young adult learning a new career and hoping to be as good at it as she was. We are all lucky to have known her.
Quarks
Sunday:
I need to share something I just read in New Scientist magazine because it blew my mind (and it's kind of a tiny bit weight related, sort of). Firstly, remember back to high school chemistry, everything in the world including us is made out of atoms which are made of protons, neutrons and electrons. More recently they have discovered that these are in turn made up of even smaller particles called quarks. So:
"although you are made of molecules that are made of protons and neutrons, those protons and neutrons are made of quarks. Quarks, as it happens, are so light that they make up only about 1 to 2 per cent of your body mass. The rest comes from the incredible energies with which these quarks interact." ( New Scientist 25 April 2015, No. 3018, p35)
To translate, only 1 or 2% of what your scale says is actual weight, the solid bits of you. The rest is energy! Isn't that amazing! So I really only weigh about 1 kg, the rest of me is all the energy from quarks buzzing around. Not sure how that works, the article got a bit technical.
Of course weight is a measurement of your mass affected by gravity, so on the moon I would only weigh 13 kg, whereas on Jupiter I would weigh 194 kg! And on the sun 2220 kg!! Just shows how little the scale really means.
Another thing I read was about a 19,000 year old body recently examined by archeologists, whose teeth show a lot about the real paleo diet. Apparently about 80% meat from hoofed animals like bison, most of the rest was fish. A small amount of seeds and other fruit and vegetables. But the woman died at 35 so they make no claims about the health benefits of the diet.
Yesterday was a rest day and a feast day. I do feel kind of refreshed by it, but I had too much. I'm still wavering about whether to just restrict that one day a week to one meal plus one snack instead of all day, or to split it so I can have something in the middle of the week and something on the weekend. Either way, I want to concentrate more on my favourite foods. Sure I like dessert, especially the first couple of bites, but what I LOVE is salty crunchy chips. They are my trigger food that I can't keep in the house so I'll have to go out of the house to get my treat. Why am I wasting calories on something that is merely quite nice? Just because I am not allowed to have it the rest of the week?! So aside from maybe some dark chocolate, I'll mostly spend my treat calories on savouries. Chips! Cheese and crackers! Cheezles! Maybe pasta or pizza.
I'm also eating more fruit, having it at breakfast as my carb instead of toast, instead of only having fruit on high carb days. I'm enjoying my oranges and pears.
I did an hour of Just Dance this morning (modifying movements for the left shoulder). I'm sure I have more energy today after extra calories yesterday, I think the low carb days are slowing me down. I'm considering changing from Turbo Cycle (two low days for every high day) to Classic Cycle (alternating low and high), I think it would help my energy levels for exercise and stop the carb cravings I have on the second day of low.
We are having all our carpets cleaned tomorrow so this afternoon we did a lot of tidying up to get stuff off the floor. The place looks better without Lego and textas all over the floor. Tim and the kids also went out to shop for Mothers' Day next week. We are going out to a live show that day (kids too), it was my birthday present to Tim but it falls on Mothers' Day so we'll go out to lunch and make a day of it.
Report card:
Diet: Good. I didn't have any leftover cheesecake (everyone else did).
Exercise: Good. A sweaty hour of dance.
Water: Good.
Sleep: Good.
Mental health: Good.
I need to share something I just read in New Scientist magazine because it blew my mind (and it's kind of a tiny bit weight related, sort of). Firstly, remember back to high school chemistry, everything in the world including us is made out of atoms which are made of protons, neutrons and electrons. More recently they have discovered that these are in turn made up of even smaller particles called quarks. So:
"although you are made of molecules that are made of protons and neutrons, those protons and neutrons are made of quarks. Quarks, as it happens, are so light that they make up only about 1 to 2 per cent of your body mass. The rest comes from the incredible energies with which these quarks interact." ( New Scientist 25 April 2015, No. 3018, p35)
To translate, only 1 or 2% of what your scale says is actual weight, the solid bits of you. The rest is energy! Isn't that amazing! So I really only weigh about 1 kg, the rest of me is all the energy from quarks buzzing around. Not sure how that works, the article got a bit technical.
Of course weight is a measurement of your mass affected by gravity, so on the moon I would only weigh 13 kg, whereas on Jupiter I would weigh 194 kg! And on the sun 2220 kg!! Just shows how little the scale really means.
Another thing I read was about a 19,000 year old body recently examined by archeologists, whose teeth show a lot about the real paleo diet. Apparently about 80% meat from hoofed animals like bison, most of the rest was fish. A small amount of seeds and other fruit and vegetables. But the woman died at 35 so they make no claims about the health benefits of the diet.
Yesterday was a rest day and a feast day. I do feel kind of refreshed by it, but I had too much. I'm still wavering about whether to just restrict that one day a week to one meal plus one snack instead of all day, or to split it so I can have something in the middle of the week and something on the weekend. Either way, I want to concentrate more on my favourite foods. Sure I like dessert, especially the first couple of bites, but what I LOVE is salty crunchy chips. They are my trigger food that I can't keep in the house so I'll have to go out of the house to get my treat. Why am I wasting calories on something that is merely quite nice? Just because I am not allowed to have it the rest of the week?! So aside from maybe some dark chocolate, I'll mostly spend my treat calories on savouries. Chips! Cheese and crackers! Cheezles! Maybe pasta or pizza.
I'm also eating more fruit, having it at breakfast as my carb instead of toast, instead of only having fruit on high carb days. I'm enjoying my oranges and pears.
I did an hour of Just Dance this morning (modifying movements for the left shoulder). I'm sure I have more energy today after extra calories yesterday, I think the low carb days are slowing me down. I'm considering changing from Turbo Cycle (two low days for every high day) to Classic Cycle (alternating low and high), I think it would help my energy levels for exercise and stop the carb cravings I have on the second day of low.
We are having all our carpets cleaned tomorrow so this afternoon we did a lot of tidying up to get stuff off the floor. The place looks better without Lego and textas all over the floor. Tim and the kids also went out to shop for Mothers' Day next week. We are going out to a live show that day (kids too), it was my birthday present to Tim but it falls on Mothers' Day so we'll go out to lunch and make a day of it.
Report card:
Diet: Good. I didn't have any leftover cheesecake (everyone else did).
Exercise: Good. A sweaty hour of dance.
Water: Good.
Sleep: Good.
Mental health: Good.
Saturday, May 2, 2015
Confused
Saturday:
I've decided not to make an exercise plan until I get my shoulder sorted out. I'm seeing my doctor on Tuesday, and expect to be referred to an ultrasound to see what is happening in there. It could be a couple of weeks before I know. In the meantime I will stick to low impact and no weights. Today I did no exercise at all, unless you count cooking. Or eating.
I've been watching quite a lot of reality TV since we got Foxtel. I already did, but now I've got more choice! I don't mean the kind where they follow a quasi-celebrity around with a camera, I mean like Master Chef or So You Think You Can Dance or Race Around the World or Ink Master. Real people in interesting competitions. They need to have a different name for that kind of show. Or do they already? Reality competitions? It has actually triggered some great conversations with my children. We watch RuPaul's Drag Race (about drag queens) so we got to talk about some of them being very sad when their family didn't accept their lifestyle. My kids are very comfortable with the concept of gayness, I think Modern Family took care of that! but men dressing up as women (well, kind of like women, these are flamboyant drag queens) and calling themselves "she" is still a new idea. And Jasmine loves Say Yes to the Dress, so we get to talk about how the big wedding day isn't the goal of the whole process, being married to the person you love for the rest of your life is the important bit. But nothing wrong with having a beautiful dress! As long as it doesn't cost more than a home deposit. We were watching an episode today where the bride's brother gave her a budget of $5,000 and she immediately "fell in love" with a dress that cost nearly $13,000 and was selfishly demanding he buy it for her. Good teaching moment!
Today was my free day when I am allowed treats. Like chocolate biscuits. Or the lemon cheesecake I baked. I'm still in the middle of a mental tug-of-war. On one side I feel like I get one free day a week so I need to eat ALL THE THINGS because I'm allowed and I don't want to "miss out" and otherwise I have to wait another week. But on the other side is the part that doesn't want to derail weight loss (but some say a day off stops you going into starvation mode and hoarding fat) and also feels a bit sick when I eat that junk. I definitely have a reaction to sugar, but it's the opposite to the increased cravings that sugar addicts seem to get. I just feel ill and want to avoid the stuff. Until a few hours or days later when it looks tasty enough to overcome that aversion. Maybe I need to keep my treats to the things that I enjoy eating that don't make me feel sick and regretful. Like my nachos for lunch (sorry Brandon I forgot to take a photo) made with Doritos and lots of cheese but also lean ground beef that I cooked and spiced myself and lots of fresh salsa on top. I completely enjoyed it and felt fine afterwards. Really the only thing in it I'm trying to otherwise avoid was the Doritos. The other things I ate weren't necessarily that bad either, but when I'm trying to fit all my favourite things into one day of the week it is way too much. A sanctioned alternative is to have treats spread out throughout the week (on high carb days only) which I will think about but that way could encourage endless binging.
Yet I don't want to give up treats altogether. Right now, directly after some cheesecake, it is easy to say I just won't eat that anymore. But I know after a few days of all healthy food it will be a lot more appealing. I will think on it further.
Report card: (not very pretty)
Diet: Poor (planned).
Exercise: Poor.
Water: Poor.
Sleep: Good.
Mental health: Confused.
I've decided not to make an exercise plan until I get my shoulder sorted out. I'm seeing my doctor on Tuesday, and expect to be referred to an ultrasound to see what is happening in there. It could be a couple of weeks before I know. In the meantime I will stick to low impact and no weights. Today I did no exercise at all, unless you count cooking. Or eating.
I've been watching quite a lot of reality TV since we got Foxtel. I already did, but now I've got more choice! I don't mean the kind where they follow a quasi-celebrity around with a camera, I mean like Master Chef or So You Think You Can Dance or Race Around the World or Ink Master. Real people in interesting competitions. They need to have a different name for that kind of show. Or do they already? Reality competitions? It has actually triggered some great conversations with my children. We watch RuPaul's Drag Race (about drag queens) so we got to talk about some of them being very sad when their family didn't accept their lifestyle. My kids are very comfortable with the concept of gayness, I think Modern Family took care of that! but men dressing up as women (well, kind of like women, these are flamboyant drag queens) and calling themselves "she" is still a new idea. And Jasmine loves Say Yes to the Dress, so we get to talk about how the big wedding day isn't the goal of the whole process, being married to the person you love for the rest of your life is the important bit. But nothing wrong with having a beautiful dress! As long as it doesn't cost more than a home deposit. We were watching an episode today where the bride's brother gave her a budget of $5,000 and she immediately "fell in love" with a dress that cost nearly $13,000 and was selfishly demanding he buy it for her. Good teaching moment!
Today was my free day when I am allowed treats. Like chocolate biscuits. Or the lemon cheesecake I baked. I'm still in the middle of a mental tug-of-war. On one side I feel like I get one free day a week so I need to eat ALL THE THINGS because I'm allowed and I don't want to "miss out" and otherwise I have to wait another week. But on the other side is the part that doesn't want to derail weight loss (but some say a day off stops you going into starvation mode and hoarding fat) and also feels a bit sick when I eat that junk. I definitely have a reaction to sugar, but it's the opposite to the increased cravings that sugar addicts seem to get. I just feel ill and want to avoid the stuff. Until a few hours or days later when it looks tasty enough to overcome that aversion. Maybe I need to keep my treats to the things that I enjoy eating that don't make me feel sick and regretful. Like my nachos for lunch (sorry Brandon I forgot to take a photo) made with Doritos and lots of cheese but also lean ground beef that I cooked and spiced myself and lots of fresh salsa on top. I completely enjoyed it and felt fine afterwards. Really the only thing in it I'm trying to otherwise avoid was the Doritos. The other things I ate weren't necessarily that bad either, but when I'm trying to fit all my favourite things into one day of the week it is way too much. A sanctioned alternative is to have treats spread out throughout the week (on high carb days only) which I will think about but that way could encourage endless binging.
Yet I don't want to give up treats altogether. Right now, directly after some cheesecake, it is easy to say I just won't eat that anymore. But I know after a few days of all healthy food it will be a lot more appealing. I will think on it further.
Report card: (not very pretty)
Diet: Poor (planned).
Exercise: Poor.
Water: Poor.
Sleep: Good.
Mental health: Confused.
Friday, May 1, 2015
Purple
Friday:
This morning I drove the car to the mechanic to be serviced. Instead of walking straight home, I first went to a huge office supplies store nearby then walked the long way home, adding about 6,000 steps to the day, carrying two bags of goodies as well as a backpack. It was a cool day but I was practically carrying weights uphill. I got up a good sweat.
I love office supplies! Pens and paper and things to keep pens and paper in. I had one specific item I was looking for, and found it, but then bought some other matching stuff and a few extra things I suddenly realised I couldn't live without. The check out lady commented that she knew what my favourite colour was. Not only were the in-tray, pen holder, document folder, and miscellaneous desk-stuff box all a lovely purple, but my backpack and purse were purple AND I happened to be wearing a matching jumper. Yes, ok, I quite like the colour (but I do like other colours too). She commented that they had the pink clipboard folder in purple and I told her I already had that one so I needed a different colour for a different subject!
After doing some financial paperwork at home for a couple of hours, I spent at least half an hour cleaning my desk. I moved all the bits and dusted and cleaned behind them. I trimmed the dead leaves off the pot plant and added new potting soil and gave it a good watering. This is what my desk looked like before:
Then I laid out my new desk furniture. It's much cleaner and neater! The pot plant looks a bit bare because it is turned around the other way and there are less leaves on this side.
I've tried to tidy most of the clutter away and only have essentials on my desk. Some loose notes and scrap paper are in the box. I love the new look. And I love my new stuff. Now I just need to do all the drawers...
After the kids got home and had afternoon tea we walked up to get the car, or rather I walked and the kids scootered. Turned out it was nearly two kilometres, not one as I had thought, I made my 10,000 steps on the way. They couldn't find anything wrong with the car but just gave it a general service which it was due for anyway. It is another thing ticked off my list.
And it's the end of another week. So how am I doing?
Well I (very nearly) fulfilled my promise to use my CPAP every night in April, there was that one night without it when visiting Sydney. I've gone from struggling to keep it on for the required four hours, to averaging six hours a night then taking it off for a final sleep period without it, to now going right through to when I have to get up in the morning. I still feel a certain amount of resentment towards it, that I would like a break from using it; but physically it is fine, I am totally used to it. My sleep seems smooth every second night or so, I am still not a great sleeper but my nights have greatly improved.
I have been carb cycling for nearly two weeks now, since last Monday. I've stuck to it pretty closely with only a few extras on a couple of days. Progress not perfection. My weight went down sharply for a few days but then has been pretty steady for a week. I still have nearly a week before the end of this month's dietbet, which is when I'll re-evaluate whether I'll stick to this particular plan. I'm hoping my weight will start going down again when the time of the month is over, I'm likely retaining water right now.
I've done well with water, eight to twelve glasses most days (I include water-like substances in my count, but most of it is water with a squeeze of fresh lemon).
Exercise is where I've fallen down, metaphorically. Some days I do, some days I don't. It will be the next thing I need to tackle. I need to decide what a reasonable promise to myself is. Should I start Monday? Am I ready for the next step? And then mental health. But I feel I've got three of the five online.
Report card:
Diet: Good. Stuck to the plan.
Exercise: Good. Got my steps in with two decent walks.
Water: Good.
Sleep: Good.
Mental health: Good.
This morning I drove the car to the mechanic to be serviced. Instead of walking straight home, I first went to a huge office supplies store nearby then walked the long way home, adding about 6,000 steps to the day, carrying two bags of goodies as well as a backpack. It was a cool day but I was practically carrying weights uphill. I got up a good sweat.
I love office supplies! Pens and paper and things to keep pens and paper in. I had one specific item I was looking for, and found it, but then bought some other matching stuff and a few extra things I suddenly realised I couldn't live without. The check out lady commented that she knew what my favourite colour was. Not only were the in-tray, pen holder, document folder, and miscellaneous desk-stuff box all a lovely purple, but my backpack and purse were purple AND I happened to be wearing a matching jumper. Yes, ok, I quite like the colour (but I do like other colours too). She commented that they had the pink clipboard folder in purple and I told her I already had that one so I needed a different colour for a different subject!
After doing some financial paperwork at home for a couple of hours, I spent at least half an hour cleaning my desk. I moved all the bits and dusted and cleaned behind them. I trimmed the dead leaves off the pot plant and added new potting soil and gave it a good watering. This is what my desk looked like before:
Then I laid out my new desk furniture. It's much cleaner and neater! The pot plant looks a bit bare because it is turned around the other way and there are less leaves on this side.
After the kids got home and had afternoon tea we walked up to get the car, or rather I walked and the kids scootered. Turned out it was nearly two kilometres, not one as I had thought, I made my 10,000 steps on the way. They couldn't find anything wrong with the car but just gave it a general service which it was due for anyway. It is another thing ticked off my list.
And it's the end of another week. So how am I doing?
Well I (very nearly) fulfilled my promise to use my CPAP every night in April, there was that one night without it when visiting Sydney. I've gone from struggling to keep it on for the required four hours, to averaging six hours a night then taking it off for a final sleep period without it, to now going right through to when I have to get up in the morning. I still feel a certain amount of resentment towards it, that I would like a break from using it; but physically it is fine, I am totally used to it. My sleep seems smooth every second night or so, I am still not a great sleeper but my nights have greatly improved.
I have been carb cycling for nearly two weeks now, since last Monday. I've stuck to it pretty closely with only a few extras on a couple of days. Progress not perfection. My weight went down sharply for a few days but then has been pretty steady for a week. I still have nearly a week before the end of this month's dietbet, which is when I'll re-evaluate whether I'll stick to this particular plan. I'm hoping my weight will start going down again when the time of the month is over, I'm likely retaining water right now.
I've done well with water, eight to twelve glasses most days (I include water-like substances in my count, but most of it is water with a squeeze of fresh lemon).
Exercise is where I've fallen down, metaphorically. Some days I do, some days I don't. It will be the next thing I need to tackle. I need to decide what a reasonable promise to myself is. Should I start Monday? Am I ready for the next step? And then mental health. But I feel I've got three of the five online.
Report card:
Diet: Good. Stuck to the plan.
Exercise: Good. Got my steps in with two decent walks.
Water: Good.
Sleep: Good.
Mental health: Good.
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