Bingle

Monday:

I was involved in a very minor car accident today. I backed out of my parking spot at the shops at the same time as someone behind me - not directly behind or we would have seen each other - we crunched together when we both curved out of our spot. Each car ended up with a broken light cover and a dent. I’ve let my insurance know and booked in for repair tomorrow. No one was hurt and the other guy was very nice so it’s merely an annoyance. Neither of us really knew what to do! We got each other’s drivers licence details but I didn’t think to get his car make/model etc that my insurance asked for.

I saw my doctor and got another script for Duromine, just the lowest dose of 15mg. I need to kick start weight loss again after the depredations of Christmas and holidays. I’ll also restart my gym membership, which I put on hold as I wasn’t making time to go. My weight this morning was 76.6kg, about 5kg up from a few months ago. A slow increase was turning into a fast increase. So easy to get used to slipping back into bad habits. My doctor asked why maintenance had turned into a regain, I suggested it was partly eating from boredom. I finished my course six months ago and I’ve felt a bit directionless since then. So she asked what I was going to do to turn that around. I hope to get a job of course, but I might need to put more thought into other strategies until then. I really liked my doctor’s attitude; willing to give me the Duromine as a short term help but also wanting to help long term. The series of young female doctors at this practice (they only stay for six months as part of their training) have been consistently enthusiastic and lovely - haven't been doing it long enough to get jaded and grumpy!

Tuesday:

My weight this morning was 76.1kg so I lost half a kg of holiday water weight since yesterday. I restarted Duromine today and feel good. Able to eat less, a bit more energy. Actually a tiny bit hyper, I'm sure that will pass.

Dentist

Friday:

Another week gone by. And as usual I turn to my blog after a bad day. It gives rather a skewed view, my life is usually pretty good! But good days are often not much to write about.

But today I had a dentist appointment (shudder). I'm not scared of doctors or needles, but I'm very phobic about dentistry. Fear, a small mouth, and a strong gag reflex. I hadn't been for a bout two years, not since we moved to Sydney. And I might not have 'got around to it' this time but I thought I'd lost a filling and could feel a big gap - actually it turned out a piece of one tooth had chipped off and there was another big crack in it. I seriously considered having the tooth removed, but decided to be brave and get the work done.

An hour and a half in the chair today, with two more shorter appointments in the future. It was horrible. Ten hours later and my mouth is still sore this evening.

I wanted to just go home and collapse but we'd organised for me to drop Tim's car off for a rego check, so I did that and faced a long walk home on trembly legs. But then I saw my sister-in-law come out of a shop across the road and I managed to get to her car before she reversed into me (I think she was a bit startled by this crazy person running up to her window waving their arms frantically) and of course she drove me home - I was so grateful! It would have been a pleasant half hour walk if I wasn't miserable and shaky and probably still drooling from the anaesthetic.

The car was supposed to be ready by 1pm but it wasn't done until 5, too late to pick up today, so that meant I didn't have to walk back either! Tim can go tomorrow.

In other news term has started and we're all back into our studies. I got my other exam from last term back and did well, only one question wrong again. I wouldn't say I'm breezing through - I'm working hard for my good results.

On the pool front we've engaged a tiler to create an area next to the pool to put our chairs and things on (we'll fill the rest of the backyard with tropical plants so it's like a resort), after rather more delays than he'd anticipated he finally started today. The pool fence inspection guy came yesterday, unfortunately there are some issues we'll have to fix so that still isn't done. And we can't get the pool finished until the fences are compliant. Sometimes I fear it will never be done! But surely one day we'll have a usable finished pool.

Car and cup

Friday:

I spent the morning getting the car sorted. Took it to be inspected (browsing at Bunnings Hardware while I waited and buying some gardening gloves) then drove to RTA, unscrewed the license plates (again) this time not having to chase a gleefully escaping screw under a parked car, very tricky that was on Wednesday, or finding a large spider like I did the first time; waited only a few minutes for my number to be called at the RTA, this time all paperwork present and correct, new plates handed over (for a fee, of course), screwed them on, DONE! Car now registered in correct state. It's only taken ten months...

I exchanged my cracked teacup with no problems, and they gave me a two year warranty so they will replace this one even if I break it myself! Nice.

It was in a gift set with a matching plate. I had to buy the triple-choc brownie separately. I tried it out for my afternoon tea when I got home, in future it will be my breakfast set.

I always wash my delicate cups by hand, at the moment our dishwasher is broken so I'll be washing everything by hand. Or, alternatively, not washing. The kitchen bench is piled high.

I decided to make a cute bunny cross-stitch for my new niece due in a couple of months, and I bought the material and threads today after seeing the pattern in a magazine. I used to cross-stitch quite a bit, before I had children of my own and no longer seemed to have the time or energy. I have a large project that has been in an "almost finished" state for twelve years. This is a little project that shouldn't take me too long, maybe it will get me back into it. I like to have something to do while watching TV. TV only takes one eye and a quarter of my brain.

There might be a problem with the pool, the council have decided the biggest tree right in the middle of the backyard has to stay. Bugger. Need to squish the pool right over one side and turn it the other way, and have leaves drop in it all year. Unless we find it's close enough to the house to constitute a bushfire hazard, need to measure the distance. Not that the council told us about that. It's like in Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy where information is "on display" in the basement in a locked filing cabinet guarded by a leopard.

Another broken cup

Wednesday:

Not a very successful morning.

After moving we were supposed to get our two cars registered in the new state. I had to get them inspected and take in paperwork and it took several visits to get everything together, eventually got everything done for one car. I couldn't find the old rego papers for the other one so I sent away for a copy then forgot about it. Five months later, still haven't received it but we found the original paper. So today, yet again, I went in to the Motor Registry, unscrewed the licence plates, waited for my number to be called... and was told that the car was inspected five months ago but it's only valid for 40 days. Which is fair enough but I didn't think of it. So I've booked the car in to be inspected again on Friday, then I'll go straight back to try again! We've only got ten days until the old rego runs out.

I had some shopping to do at the big mall, but didn't have much luck there either. Spent ages looking around for a few things without finding what I needed. Tired, headachy and discouraged. But then I saw that a big department store had the brand of teacups that I broke the other day, some on special for 50% off! I bought one, not the same as the old one but similar, it was in a pretty gift box. Got home, took it out of the box... huge crack in it. Not having a good day. Or week.

On the bright side, I have to go back on Friday anyway to the Motor Registry so I can return it on the same trip!

And I had some really good news yesterday, I'm booked in for my surgery in a month which is sooner than I expected. It won't solve all my problems, but should fix my pelvic pain and maybe some of the hormonal issues.

Thirty five: clean

Monday:

Another Monday weigh in. Unfortunately I'm up nearly a kilogram from last week, from the damage done on Thursday and Friday. 80.5 kg. At least I didn't put on any more over the weekend. And I ate clean today, I can lose it again.

I took all the paperwork and the number plates from our two cars into the relevant government office to get them transferred to NSW, but I neglected to get Tim to sign and one of the cars is in his name. Silly mistake. Means another trip in tomorrow. At least I got Tim's phone fixed. And I came home for lunch instead of trying to negotiate restaurants or fast food.

B: raspberries and yoghurt.
S: tea (back to no sugar).
L: lamb chops, zucchini, asparagus.
D: roast beef and vegetables.

I forgot to tell you my little cannoli story. A cannoli is an Italian dessert, crisp pasty with a sweet filling. At the restaurant on Saturday night they had cannoli on the specials board and I've been wanting to try one so I decided to share one with Jasmine even though I was full of pasta. It wasn't very nice at all and I only had a couple of nibbles - Jasmine ate the chocolate filling but left the pastry and she'll usually eat anything sweet! The waitress came around and asked how it was, I hesitated but as usual said it was fine. Then she told me it was a new dish they were thinking about putting it on the permanent menu so were trying to get feedback. So I said, "Well in that case actually I didn't like it!"

Thirty one: sugar

Thursday:

Look, my having sugar in my tea again this week has Nothing to do with the return of other sugary items to my diet, ok? The chocolate every day, the cheesecake this afternoon, they are just because it is a hard time of the month. Not because sugar has a hold on me in any shape or form. Ok? Ok? A little bit of sugar in my tea does not mean the cravings are suddenly back and I want to eat lollies. At all.

I took one car to the inspection people today, it only had one broken tail-light which they fixed on the spot, not bad for a fourteen year old car. While they were doing that I went to the Bunnings Warehouse (hardware and garden stuff) across the road and bought a long pot and some herbs to go next to my kitchen window. I haven't planted them in properly yet as Bunnings only sold huge bags of potting mix which I couldn't carry, but I think it looks nice.

Oregano, sage, chives, mint and thyme. I also like to use rosemary but that is a huge plant. It's quite a sunny spot so I hope they will do ok. They will certainly be handy for cooking.

B: bacon, cucumber, tea.
L: satay chicken and vegetables, chocolate, cheese, tea.
S: cheesecake.
D: spicy chicken, cauliflower, cucumber, tomato.

Floriade

Wednesday:

Today we went to Floriade, Canberra's annual spring flower/bulb festival. It seemed to be mainly tulips this year with pansies underneath, I don't think I saw any iris or hyacinths. Maybe those are already over as we are in the third week. It was pretty, if a little dull after the ninety-third field. Maybe I've been going too many years.

They had a huge mirror set up so that when the kids lay on the painting of a building, it looked like they were climbing up a vertical wall (here you can see both the reality and the reflection).

The baby animal petting zoo had already left this year as they are only there the first two weeks, but we went through the reptile petting zoo that replaced it and patted some lizards. One handler was holding a big lace monitor (very large lizard that likes to steal eggs from farmers, and probably the chickens too if it can catch them) and his arms were all scratched and bleeding from its claws as it climbed him like a tree.

Floriade also has an area with lots of stalls selling garden tools, mugs with pictures of tulips, floral scented soaps, lunch items, and bottles of water for $4.50. We always go around and taste test whatever food is on offer - some Indian butter chicken, chocolate fudge, herbal teas (Jasmine loves those for some reason), hot chilli sauces (Aiden's favourite), sugar-crusted almonds etc. I generally buy something each visit to justify all the free tasting, this time some mint rocky road.

We walked around slowly for about two hours.

We've been having more problems with our old car (which the kids decided to name "Nugget" because it is a gold colour and the word sounds funny when you say it, the new red car is called "Titan") and I took it back to the people that fixed it last week. I haven't driven it since then except to get it home and to move it a couple of times out of the way of Titan, but it was already making horrible noises again.

Getting home from the repair shop after dropping the car off this afternoon meant more walking (kids with their scooters) so I am feeling pretty tired. Lots of exercise today, but also too much sugar. It was a really warm sunny day, nice to get out in the spring sunshine. We put sunscreen on our faces and had long sleeves on, but I am feeling suspiciously warm around the back of the neck. I'll have to start being vigilant about that now that the weather has turned.

I've been having weird anxiety dreams, like I'd lost the new car, or when I couldn't remember if Tim and I were divorced or not! Everything with the new house is going smoothly - contracts exchanged, finance arranged etc, but we still have to sell this house. The auction is next week. If it doesn't sell straight away we'll be carrying a big debt until it does. The market has suddenly gone a bit quiet, in Sydney at least don't know about here. You'll remember we had to chose between three houses we liked, well the other two are still on the market. One is asking for offers, the other was up for auction last Saturday but didn't sell. So I hope the market is still strong here in Canberra!

I said a couple of weeks ago that Australia's version of Biggest Loser was pretty benign, well I have to take that back. They have temptation again (10 out 14 contestants ate junk), lots of drama between family members, and the show seems to be doing its best to create more conflict by making all the rewards controversial; for example instead of winning a 2 kg benefit for your team at the weigh-in you have to give a 2 kg penalty to another team. Of course this creates bad feeling. Clearly the producers think that seeing success stories of people conquering their demons and losing weight isn't enough. It is disappointing. I'm still watching it though.

New car

Saturday:

We had our first proper advertised open house today to sell our home. We did the pre-showing tidy up then left the house. The real estate agent called later to say 21 people/families came through, and quite a few asked for a copy of the contract which means they are considering purchasing. Nice! Another open house tomorrow. Our plan is to sell at auction, but if someone makes a really good offer beforehand then we'll consider it.

While we were banned from being at home, we went and looked at cars. Financially it is a weird time to be spending more money, but our current car is well over ten years old and really on its last legs, or should I say wheels. It makes the most awful sounds, and is quite difficult to steer. I think I've had it repaired twice in the past six months but that doesn't last long. We did another test drive of a car we liked and then it turned out they had a similar car but with features we preferred (mainly we wanted a sedan not hatchback) elsewhere so they're getting that one for us. It will take a couple of weeks, but then we'll have a nice car. It's a small Ford, in red. Four wheels, five if you count the steering wheel. Oh, there is probably a spare hidden somewhere so that is six. The pedals make it go faster or slower. And that is about the limit of my automobile expertise. 

We're keeping the old car for the time being, it might be handy to have two during the move, but then I imagine we'll get rid of it.

My throat is a bit better today but I've come down with other cold/flu symptoms and feel pretty rotten. Luckily I could rest all afternoon. Also my knee is better and my pelvic pain now almost completely gone, so I only have to deal with this one thing.

Sunday:

I am now a snot production machine. Feel like a zombie that has been deprived of brains. We had another open house so I couldn't just stay in bed. We dropped Jasmine at a birthday party and had lunch at a Thai restaurant. Meanwhile a few people went through our house, a couple of them return visitors. Later Tim and the kids went to another birthday party while I collapsed at home. Yay for naps.

Test driving cars

Friday:

Tim took the day off work today so we could get stuff done. One thing was looking for a new car. When I say "new", we wanted a decent second-hand car, not too old. We love our current car but it's about 13 years old now and needs repairs more often, and we worry about reliability on our long trips when it makes funny noises and doesn't want to turn sharp corners. We test drove a few and didn't buy anything, the only one I liked was a new new car! A bit more money than we wanted to spend, considering we need all our money to buy a house very soon! But we need something soon. We'll do some more looking, I don't know when we'll find the time though.

In the past I'm sure car salesmen have just let us take out cars by ourselves (after taking photocopies of ID) but this time each one came with us. Odd. The last one was funny, he said he would drive the car first to get to a quieter place then let us drive. Like we were nervous teenage L-platers instead of adults who drive around that area all the time! Canberra isn't exactly a big city with lots of traffic either. He was probably 20 years younger than us. Maybe he just enjoyed the chance to get out and drive a car instead of being at the car yard all day. He drove quite a long way and finally pulled over to let Tim drive - in our own quiet suburban street! He was giving Tim directions about which way to go and I said "that's our house" and he got a bit subdued after that and just let us drive around and swap when we wanted to, and even let me drive it back to the yard although I asked if he wanted to.

We have a lot of houses to see tomorrow, I'm really hoping we see one (or more) that we like enough to make an offer for. We've definitely decided against that land, it's just too small and oddly shaped. If we see any other blocks before buying an existing house, we'll consider it again.

Invasion

Friday:

Well, I had a difficult day. First there was last night. After a phone call with my aunt - dad's sister - who was trying to prepare me for dad's altered appearance after months of eating very little, and an earlier dispute with my son that left us both in tears (very rare, obviously my resilience and tolerance were way down), I was feeling pretty wrung out. Then we had a power blackout. The night was clear so I don't know why, but certainly the whole block was out. We read by the light of our iPhones (how medieval) but it started getting cold without the heater so we went to bed a bit early.

Obviously I couldn't use my CPAP without power. The electricity did come on later (then we found out which lights had been left on) but I had already settled in for a guilt-free "night off" my CPAP. I know that might not make a lot of sense when it helps me to sleep more soundly, but I still don't much like having that thing strapped to my face every night. I wanted the freedom of being able to turn over with a big tube dragging from my nose!

In terms of restlessness and quality of sleep, it seemed about the same as one of my bad nights with the CPAP that I still have every third night or so, so that wasn't a dramatic change. The main difference was that I accidently spent some time sleeping on my stomach, something the CPAP prevents with its bulk. It used to be my favourite sleeping position but now it makes both shoulders hurt. So I woke in a bit of pain after that and took quite a while to get back to sleep. Also, I had a sore throat when I first woke which makes me think I was snoring, common with sleep apnoea, although Tim slept through it if I was. Anyway, it was one night and I know I sleep better with my CPAP, back to using it tonight.

So we come to today. I dropped off the car at the mechanic and walked the couple of blocks to my physio appointment. I was running a little late and had to hurry, and I stepped in a pothole crossing the road and hurt my ankle (it's fine now). But I ended up only a few minutes late. Only to find I was actually three hours early! I had put 12:40 on my iPhone calendar, the clinic had sent me a reminder yesterday that said it was at 12:40, yet somehow I had got it into my head it was at 9:40. Did I mention my brain doesn't work too well when I'm stressed?

It wouldn't matter too much except that I didn't have my car. I was envisioning walking home, then back in again to my appointment, then later doing the trip again to pick up my car. I suppose it would have been good for me, but it seemed a bit much. So the receptionist managed to move my appointment up to 11:00 and told me to go and have a coffee or something for an hour.

I walked the couple of blocks to the big shopping centre and started to look for something to take to dad in hospital. It was tricky, because he hates greeting cards (someone else's sentiments on a ridiculously overpriced piece of cardboard), has no interest in flowers, doesn't read except the newspaper, wasn't eating much because he was too sick... His interests are sport and alcohol - not necessarily in that order. And I wasn't taking him a bottle of wine to wash down his morphine, although he'd probably appreciate it.

I had this bright idea of making him a pretend bouquet of "flowers" made of rolled up sporting pictures, like his favourite football or cricket stars. I thought it could look cute. So I went to the newsagent but although there were a million magazines for golf, cycling and fishing; apparently the kind of people who watch dad's favourite sports are not big readers. What little they had didn't have enough full-page pictures for my idea to work. I bought a general sport magazine and one with football stats anyway, I thought if he has the energy he might like to flick through them. And also a box of his favourite chocolates, maybe they will spark his appetite. It's likely they'll all just sit on his side table, but it was the best I could think of.

I still had some time so I went to a chocolate café which has been there for at least a couple of years but I had never been in. I ordered their basic small-size hot chocolate. The first half I decided it was the best (and at $5.90, most expensive) hot chocolate I had ever had, but after that it just seemed much too sweet and I left the rest. I went from "yum" to "I'm starting to feel sick" after a few mouthfuls. I was feeling pretty sad and stressed, too, so I didn't really enjoy the indulgence.

Back to physio, which went well. My therapist was gentle again with the massage so it was only moderately painful, and she gave me some more exercises to add. Someone across the hall was obviously having a very painful manipulation - lots of sounds of someone in extreme pain!

I called the mechanic before I set off for my walk home to see if I could save myself a trip. They still couldn't get the car to make the worrying sound - it hadn't for me this morning either - but they said the belt (?) was possibly a little loose so they tightened it. Otherwise they couldn't find anything. I went and picked it up and got to drive home. I was glad not to have to do more walking, I'd done a fair bit of trotting around already and I just wanted to get home.

I found out that dad's current Will was written before he got divorced from his second wife, so the executor has asked me to make sure he makes a new one. I didn't want to do it over the phone so I'll wait until I get there but I did prepare a couple of options for him based on his previous version, if he's happy with one of those he can just sign and be done with it. Great conversation to have with your maybe-dying father who you haven't seen for three months. Maybe I should open with that. "Hi dad, great to see you, by the way just in case you die tomorrow..." Sorry, I'm a bit tired.

Later I took Jasmine to her ballet lesson. We got home just in time for a phone call from dad's girlfriend for another conversation about how we don't really know anything new, but that the doctors want to talk to family and when would I be there so she could arrange to be there too (she's had some problems I think because she's lived with him less than a year and isn't an official de facto partner). I was still negotiating that when I noticed the ants. We've been having a problem lately with these tiny little black ants, a few times a week there will be some in the kitchen or laundry or bathroom. Maybe swarming inside an unwashed cup that had juice in it. Or my (I thought washed and clean) sugar bowl. There have been a couple of bigger incursions. Tonight's was a doozy. I alerted the kids and we followed the thick busy trail. They came in under the back door, through the laundry, right around the outside of the kitchen and dining area, avoiding the carpet and staying on the linoleum and tiles, occasionally behind cupboards, finally disappearing behind the dishwasher right back near where they came in. All in the hour and a half we were away.

I mopped them all up with a strong eucalyptus solution, it seems to both kill those it touches and cover up the scent trails so no more come in, for a few days at least. I've won this battle, but not the war. Not sure what to do about it. I'm not keen on chemical sprays. I suppose there is a nest outside nearby, but I've never noticed it. The dishwasher is screwed in so I can't easily pull it out and see what is going on back there. The weird thing was they didn't go to any of the possible food sources like the full rubbish bin under the sink or the crumbs under the kitchen table. Maybe they were looking for a new home rather than food? Or water?

Tim is out tonight at farewell drinks for a colleague so I've got to get the kids to bed. I'm looking forward to sinking into my armchair after that and letting the day be over. It's been a tough one. I don't expect the weekend to be any easier.

Day #16,387

Thursday:

Today is my 16,387th day alive, or at least out of the womb. New record for me! Go Natalie! Keep it up!

I really struggle when I have a lot of stress happening. Not just with sticking to my weight-loss plan, but with everything. It's like worry takes up all the available space in my brain and there just isn't any room for anything else. I have lots to do, but there is this wall blocking me; I can't do X because I'm too busy worrying. But I'm pushing on, and trying not to make it an excuse. Not very successfully, perhaps. My food hasn't been great. Nor anything else, really. Hard days.

A couple of weeks ago our car made weird noises a few times. I put it in for a service and they couldn't find what was wrong or replicate the noise. But yesterday it made the very loud worrying whirring noise nearly every time I started the car - it stopped when I switched the engine off then on again - and I think there is a slight burning smell as well. Very worrying, especially with the travelling we have to do. I'm taking it back to the mechanic tomorrow. I took my phone out to the car this morning and it made the noise one time out of three starts, but the mechanic couldn't really hear it well. He said he'll just try starting it frequently throughout the day tomorrow until it does it. I really need my car in working order right now!

Australia is about the same size as North America but less than a tenth the population. There are huge empty stretches of land between all the cities and towns. And we are heading out to the real "sticks" (country), dad's town has I think a population of 120 people (we're staying in a bigger town nearby - both the little and the big towns have streets with my maiden name because my family has lived around there for a while). Not a good place to break down. If they can't fix the car tomorrow we might have to think about hiring one for the weekend.

Hoping for a better day tomorrow.

Purple

Friday:

This morning I drove the car to the mechanic to be serviced. Instead of walking straight home, I first went to a huge office supplies store nearby then walked the long way home, adding about 6,000 steps to the day, carrying two bags of goodies as well as a backpack. It was a cool day but I was practically carrying weights uphill. I got up a good sweat.

I love office supplies! Pens and paper and things to keep pens and paper in. I had one specific item I was looking for, and found it, but then bought some other matching stuff and a few extra things I suddenly realised I couldn't live without. The check out lady commented that she knew what my favourite colour was. Not only were the in-tray, pen holder, document folder, and miscellaneous desk-stuff box all a lovely purple, but my backpack and purse were purple AND I happened to be wearing a matching jumper. Yes, ok, I quite like the colour (but I do like other colours too). She commented that they had the pink clipboard folder in purple and I told her I already had that one so I needed a different colour for a different subject!

After doing some financial paperwork at home for a couple of hours, I spent at least half an hour cleaning my desk. I moved all the bits and dusted and cleaned behind them. I trimmed the dead leaves off the pot plant and added new potting soil and gave it a good watering. This is what my desk looked like before:

Then I laid out my new desk furniture. It's much cleaner and neater! The pot plant looks a bit bare because it is turned around the other way and there are less leaves on this side.

I've tried to tidy most of the clutter away and only have essentials on my desk. Some loose notes and scrap paper are in the box. I love the new look. And I love my new stuff. Now I just need to do all the drawers...

After the kids got home and had afternoon tea we walked up to get the car, or rather I walked and the kids scootered. Turned out it was nearly two kilometres, not one as I had thought, I made my 10,000 steps on the way. They couldn't find anything wrong with the car but just gave it a general service which it was due for anyway. It is another thing ticked off my list.

And it's the end of another week. So how am I doing?

Well I (very nearly) fulfilled my promise to use my CPAP every night in April, there was that one night without it when visiting Sydney. I've gone from struggling to keep it on for the required four hours, to averaging six hours a night then taking it off for a final sleep period without it, to now going right through to when I have to get up in the morning. I still feel a certain amount of resentment towards it, that I would like a break from using it; but physically it is fine, I am totally used to it. My sleep seems smooth every second night or so, I am still not a great sleeper but my nights have greatly improved.

I have been carb cycling for nearly two weeks now, since last Monday. I've stuck to it pretty closely with only a few extras on a couple of days. Progress not perfection. My weight went down sharply for a few days but then has been pretty steady for a week. I still have nearly a week before the end of this month's dietbet, which is when I'll re-evaluate whether I'll stick to this particular plan. I'm hoping my weight will start going down again when the time of the month is over, I'm likely retaining water right now.

I've done well with water, eight to twelve glasses most days (I include water-like substances in my count, but most of it is water with a squeeze of fresh lemon).

Exercise is where I've fallen down, metaphorically. Some days I do, some days I don't. It will be the next thing I need to tackle. I need to decide what a reasonable promise to myself is. Should I start Monday? Am I ready for the next step? And then mental health. But I feel I've got three of the five online.

Report card:
Diet: Good. Stuck to the plan.
Exercise: Good. Got my steps in with two decent walks.
Water: Good.
Sleep: Good.
Mental health: Good.

A bit of chaos

Monday:

My really busy Monday has been thrown off course by a sick child. Aiden has come down with a sore throat and "don't feel well". Since I'm on the tail end of two weeks of the same thing, I know how he feels! I've let him stay home. It means chaos today, though.

I drove the car up to the repairer as soon as it opened and walked home (around 20 mins walk, hurrying) so that Tim could leave for work - he is planning to come home very early so that I can pick the car up before they close and do some grocery shopping or else we are having cheese on toast for dinner (obviously I can't walk to the shops because I can't leave a sick eight year old (or even a well one) home alone).

The car repair man rang after looking at the car and he said the drive belt has fallen off (so that was something falling out of the engine on the highway!) and also the alternator belt is badly damaged. None of that means anything to me, except that he can fix it today for around $300.

I cancelled my glucose tolerance test, and remembered that I cancelled the original appointment five months ago because Aiden was sick then too. It's a strange coincidence because he isn't sick very often. I'll book another one later. Since they no longer require three days of carb loading it's no big deal. Also my blood sugars have improved a lot since I started feeling better so I think it was being sick that was messing them up.

The plumber coming this afternoon to fix the hot water heater flooding the laundry is unaffected by having my baby home sick, thank goodness. So everything other than the glucose tolerance test should still get done, as long as Tim can get home in time.

[Edit: I spoke too soon about being relieved the car repair was only $300 - the hot water system will be nearly $3000! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!]

My dietbet starting weight has been approved and I am officially in weight-loss mode.

Last night I had my CPAP on for around seven hours, which is excellent. I woke during the night but didn't take it off. I think I got a good night's sleep.

Bingle

Tuesday:

My dad and his girlfriend went off to visit dad's brother today (but saying he would definitely be back for dinner), so I took the kids to the awesome Pod Playground at the arboretum.

A lot of the instalments look like giant acorns.

And it is all set within the lovely rolling hills and baby trees of the arboretum, next to the café where I like to write.

I spent most of the time walking slowly around and around the playground. It was a bit of an obstacle course, with running kids, crying kids, squealing-with-excitement kids, parents with prams, parents chasing wind-blown hats, parents blocking the path chatting to other parents, fed-up parents juggling a sleeping baby and a screaming toddler while looking for their older child to tell them it was time to go home, abandoned toddler shoes, children falling over, parents chasing toddlers, parents taking photos of their kids (I was one of those) ... so I managed to walk 2 km in 45 minutes.

 

It was a lovely sunny day. The only fault I have with this playground is that there is no shade for parents at all (and not enough benches). The kids get shade inside all the acorns and little huts, but it is still a bit exposed. Scorching hot in summer and freezing in winter. But nice in spring! I certainly feel like I've got enough sun for the day.

 

Then as I was pulling out of my parking space, chatting to the children and not paying enough attention, I did this to the car next to me:

Long scrape. That is my gold paint on her dark blue. I didn't hear or feel it at all, but I saw the horrified face of the other owner who was still with her car!  It was her husband's work car. She got all my details. I have never gone through this process before, I assume my insurance pays for all or some of the repair. Our car got a mark too,

but I'm sure we won't bother doing anything about it. Of course I am not happy about having done this, but I really and truly am glad that if I had to have some kind of accident it was just a little scrape with no one hurt and no major damage or inconvenience. And a nice non-abusive woman to deal with.

Losing a wheel

Thursday:

I've heard more about my father-in'law Des' exciting adventure yesterday. He was driving along the highway in the fast lane when a ute (utility vehicle, car with a tray at the back) decided to overtake on the outside and then cut back in too soon, clipping Des' car and knocking him into the steel fence between him and oncoming traffic (that goodness for the fence!). The car scraped along the fence, losing a front wheel and sliding along on the base of the car, quickly coming to a halt on its own which was lucky because the brakes no longer worked with the wheel missing.

A policeman, stopped nearby booking a speeder, got the whole thing on tape. The ute drove a bit further then stopped (possibly only because there was a policeman right there!).

Very frightening, and incredible that neither Des on the fence side nor his girlfriend on the passenger side which was hit by the ute, was hurt. The car was a total write off. They are going to catch a bus home tomorrow and start pursuing insurance. Clearly the other guy's fault, and they have it on tape to prove it.

Mind Control and Car Accident

later Wednesday:

A couple of days ago a friend brought over a Christmas present she'd received - a mind control device for your phone. You put it on like a headset, touching your skull in three places plus a clip on one earlobe, and then use your brainwaves to control your smartphone. So cool! At the moment there aren't many good apps for it, but she showed me one and I had a go. You have to use your active brainwaves to blow up a barrel of fireworks - I had it fizzing but couldn't get it to blow up. Then you use your calm brainwaves, like meditating, to make a ball float into the air. I did better at that one, even though I suck at meditation and calming my brain! I did exactly what I do if a doctor is about to stick a needle into my arm (I am not at all scared of needles, but I know how to make it hurt less), I looked away and made my body go limp. And the ball on the screen floated up. I thought it was interesting that relaxing my body immediately calmed my brain (deliberately unclenching my jaw works too if I'm angry). But as soon as I looked at the screen, the ball started to sink again. It was really fun but you'd need more games than that to keep the interest going.

In other news, my father-in-law and his new girlfriend, who we met at Christmas a week ago, were supposed to visit a couple of days ago but postponed at the last minute so they could do something more fun on New Year's Eve. They were on their way here this afternoon when they had a car accident about an hour away. They are both fine, thank goodness, but apparently the car lost a wheel so it sounds pretty serious. Father-in-law says it was the other guy's fault, but I don't have any other details yet. They are getting the car towed to the nearest town and Tim has headed off to pick them up.

They were going to stay for two nights, no idea now. Might depend on the car getting repaired. Or maybe it's totalled.

This is the second car accident Des has been in in the past couple of years, which worries me. The other time he left the road in the dark and went down a short embankment. I had been starting to get concerned about my mum doing the long drive here at her age - she won't be doing it any more, we'll always visit her - so now I have to start worrying about Des instead! And my own father has a six hour drive here in a couple of weeks, on his own. Why do people have to get old?

My mum is feeling much the same. Her leg hurts if she puts weight on it but otherwise no pain, but she is tired all the time and mostly sleeps. She has her appointment with the radiotherapy doctor on Monday.

Climbing a mountain.

Thursday night:

After writing that last post about how I need to get serious, I said to myself: there is no reason why I can't do some more exercise right now.
Myself: But I've done some, and I've got more lined up at 4pm. Don't wanna do more.
Me: I'm just sitting around wasting this special time I've created. It's really important. Get out there and exercise some more.
Myself: Awwww....

So I changed into my gym shorts, slapped on some sunscreen, and went out to tackle Mount Painter. As Canberra is up in the mountains (little mountains, Australia doesn't have any other kind), we have a few peaks nearby that aren't really that much higher than the surrounding houses. Mt Painter took me about 50 minutes from here, there and back. After a short downslope near home it was a gentle uphill the rest of the way through a couple of suburbs until I got the walking trail. I say walking trail, it was more a sheer cliff. But I scrambled up and through the gate at the top into the "reserve" land.

Can I just say that lots of stuff isn't fat-person friendly? I am about 20 kg (45 pounds) overweight, so I am obese but not, like, morbidly obese. I've seen lots of people bigger than me and I'm not sure how they cope. I can't fit into a kid's swing in the park, I have to wear my iPhone strap on my forearm because it barely fits on my upper arm (surely even a muscular man would find it too small), and this little gate into the bushland was a tight squeeze.

Anyway, I was up there on top of the world, behind the houses and above all the streets and noise. And I chickened out and came back down. I really don't like being alone in an isolated place, it scares me. So I didn't get to the peak a few hundred metres through bushland.

As soon as I got back it was time to pick up the kids from school and take them to gymnastics. This term they both have 90 min lessons on Thursday, with a 1 hour overlap. So I sat with Jasmine for the first half hour then went for a walk then sat with Aiden for the last half hour. During my walk I went the couple of blocks to the small lake. Unfortunately they were doing landscaping on the foreshore, meaning I had to detour around construction sites, but once past that I got to the bit of lake that they had finished landscaping and it was really nice. I don't walk around this lake much because only a small section of it is next to civilization, but this was a nice safe bit. The rest of the lake is heavily populated with families on weekends but a bit lonely during the week. As I said before, I don't like wandering around in an isolated area, no matter how safe our city generally is. I've only heard of one person being mugged by the lake, but I just wouldn't feel comfortable, I'd spend the whole time trying to look behind me.

Back near the gymnasium I picked up a prediabetes book I'd requested from the library. I'd lost my library card and the lady was quite concerned about me having to pay $3.20 to get a new one -- in fact last week the librarian had encouraged me to go home and check again before getting a new one. I guess $3.20 can be a big deal to some people who use libraries.

When I went to take the kids home, I found we were parked in. This happens all the time in the gym carpark, but most people are only there for a few minutes dropping off or picking up. We sat in the car and waited, but no one came out. We were all tired and hungry and trying not to get cranky. After about 10 mins we went back into the building. There were only about six parents still there, and none of them seemed to own the black car squeezed up behind mine. So I asked at reception and it turned out it was a coach's car. Which meant I would have to interrupt a lesson -- this late in the afternoon it was all older, more advanced students. One guy who was leaving insisted I had room to wriggle the car out, the receptionist asked "are you sure?" (no! not at all!) and he said yes yes, I'll guide her out. So we went out to the carpark. I couldn't see how it could be done so I gave him my keys and asked him to do it. It would have been interesting legally if he'd hit another car, who would be responsible? But he didn't. He went forward and back and turn and again only three or four times and got it out. Very nice of him.

It was very late by this stage and we got take-away on the way home. I tried to make decent choices; a roast chicken instead of deep-fried pieces and I only had a small portion and measured out some chips. No second helping. Quite restrained.

I walked more than two and a half hours today and I'm tired. I think I did pretty well. Of course there is a little voice (always the little voice!) that says walking is nothing you should have worked harder, made better food choices, been a better human being in every way. But no. No. Today I did well.

picture of Mt Painter from peakclimbs.com