Wednesday:
I haven't been posting every day because I'm busy but at the same time not doing anything interesting, you know? I've got stuff to catch up on now the kids are back at school, my own editing work plus following up stuff for the pool and my dad's estate, and getting the car serviced, and general housework and other things that come up. Nothing exciting.
I've been eating healthily, drinking my water, walked yesterday. Had a headache since Monday afternoon. I've always denied that I'm addicted to sugar but what does it mean when I go through withdrawal symptoms when I stop? I'm feeling strong and determined but day three is always a bugger.
Only two days to my fibroid operation now. Can't wait. I know it won't fix everything but might at least take the pelvic pain away. Been worse this week.
I had various plans for today but after a phone call and a few emails I was diverted onto other things. It was a productive day, but not quite in the way I'd planned! The great thing is we are starting to move forward with the pool. Still have my fingers crossed it will be done by Christmas. The actual pool build doesn't take that long, but there are so many steps - interviewing various companies and choosing one, plans drawn, council approval, approval to have trees removed, getting quotes for that, finding someone to move pergola post so the equipment can get to our backyard, paying security bond in case equipment damages council property (footpath and gutters), trying to protect existing plants and structures on the way to the backyard... it's not just "hey, come and build me a pool!" But it's going to be awesome.
Showing posts with label sugar. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sugar. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 12, 2016
Wednesday, September 7, 2016
Another coast walk
Wednesday:
Feeling much better today after a decent night's sleep.
I was waving goodbye to Aiden this morning when the tree guy from the council arrived. I didn't have any notice of this one coming, he probably didn't need me to be there. He looked around the backyard and made notes on his little map, singing or humming the whole time. I asked if he foresaw problems with removing any of the trees and he picked out one gum that was a lemon-scented somethingorother. It is the nicest looking tree out there and right in the corner where it won't affect the pool, so although it doesn't fit with my theme for the future garden I won't really mind if we have to keep it. It's the ugly scrubbly and/or dead ones I want to get rid of, as well as the ones where the pool will be.
I decided to drive over the coast again for another try at the walk/edit combo. I was able to park right next to the beach so I could leave everything in the car and walk unencumbered. I walked for a bit over an hour, and got tired and hot and sweaty which is great. I like to feel tired at the end so I know I am pushing myself a bit. It was a bit cloudy today but still very warm, perfect for walking.
I then walked a bit more around the restaurant and shopping area to find a nice café for lunch. Full sugar disclosure, I had a lemon squash "spider" (ice cream float) without even thinking about it. At home I only drink water and tea, but when I'm hot and tired I suddenly want instant calories.
My feet were sore by this stage, the down side of having skin on the soles of my feet as soft as a baby's bottom is that they abrade very easily and even the best of socks start to feel like sandpaper! I really need to toughen up.
I picked up my manuscript from the car and strolled into the park by the beach. I had a lovely view and the scent of the sea, but it didn't work out. There were no tables free, and trying to wrestle an unwieldy stack of papers into submission on a sloping lap while I sat on a bench, making notes and sometimes looking things up on my phone, was too hard.
So I drove home again. So sleepy from exercise and sun! I thought about crawling into bed but I knew that if I had a nap I wouldn't sleep as well tonight. Cup of tea instead.
Feeling much better today after a decent night's sleep.
I was waving goodbye to Aiden this morning when the tree guy from the council arrived. I didn't have any notice of this one coming, he probably didn't need me to be there. He looked around the backyard and made notes on his little map, singing or humming the whole time. I asked if he foresaw problems with removing any of the trees and he picked out one gum that was a lemon-scented somethingorother. It is the nicest looking tree out there and right in the corner where it won't affect the pool, so although it doesn't fit with my theme for the future garden I won't really mind if we have to keep it. It's the ugly scrubbly and/or dead ones I want to get rid of, as well as the ones where the pool will be.
I decided to drive over the coast again for another try at the walk/edit combo. I was able to park right next to the beach so I could leave everything in the car and walk unencumbered. I walked for a bit over an hour, and got tired and hot and sweaty which is great. I like to feel tired at the end so I know I am pushing myself a bit. It was a bit cloudy today but still very warm, perfect for walking.
I then walked a bit more around the restaurant and shopping area to find a nice café for lunch. Full sugar disclosure, I had a lemon squash "spider" (ice cream float) without even thinking about it. At home I only drink water and tea, but when I'm hot and tired I suddenly want instant calories.
My feet were sore by this stage, the down side of having skin on the soles of my feet as soft as a baby's bottom is that they abrade very easily and even the best of socks start to feel like sandpaper! I really need to toughen up.
I picked up my manuscript from the car and strolled into the park by the beach. I had a lovely view and the scent of the sea, but it didn't work out. There were no tables free, and trying to wrestle an unwieldy stack of papers into submission on a sloping lap while I sat on a bench, making notes and sometimes looking things up on my phone, was too hard.
So I drove home again. So sleepy from exercise and sun! I thought about crawling into bed but I knew that if I had a nap I wouldn't sleep as well tonight. Cup of tea instead.
Thursday, April 28, 2016
Thirty one: sugar
Thursday:
Look, my having sugar in my tea again this week has Nothing to do with the return of other sugary items to my diet, ok? The chocolate every day, the cheesecake this afternoon, they are just because it is a hard time of the month. Not because sugar has a hold on me in any shape or form. Ok? Ok? A little bit of sugar in my tea does not mean the cravings are suddenly back and I want to eat lollies. At all.
I took one car to the inspection people today, it only had one broken tail-light which they fixed on the spot, not bad for a fourteen year old car. While they were doing that I went to the Bunnings Warehouse (hardware and garden stuff) across the road and bought a long pot and some herbs to go next to my kitchen window. I haven't planted them in properly yet as Bunnings only sold huge bags of potting mix which I couldn't carry, but I think it looks nice.
Oregano, sage, chives, mint and thyme. I also like to use rosemary but that is a huge plant. It's quite a sunny spot so I hope they will do ok. They will certainly be handy for cooking.
B: bacon, cucumber, tea.
L: satay chicken and vegetables, chocolate, cheese, tea.
S: cheesecake.
D: spicy chicken, cauliflower, cucumber, tomato.
Look, my having sugar in my tea again this week has Nothing to do with the return of other sugary items to my diet, ok? The chocolate every day, the cheesecake this afternoon, they are just because it is a hard time of the month. Not because sugar has a hold on me in any shape or form. Ok? Ok? A little bit of sugar in my tea does not mean the cravings are suddenly back and I want to eat lollies. At all.
I took one car to the inspection people today, it only had one broken tail-light which they fixed on the spot, not bad for a fourteen year old car. While they were doing that I went to the Bunnings Warehouse (hardware and garden stuff) across the road and bought a long pot and some herbs to go next to my kitchen window. I haven't planted them in properly yet as Bunnings only sold huge bags of potting mix which I couldn't carry, but I think it looks nice.
B: bacon, cucumber, tea.
L: satay chicken and vegetables, chocolate, cheese, tea.
S: cheesecake.
D: spicy chicken, cauliflower, cucumber, tomato.
Sunday, April 17, 2016
Twenty: victory
Sunday:
Today I am under 80 kg for the first time in forever. 79.9 kg this morning! I had to stare at the scales for quite a while to decipher that weird number that I haven't seen for so long. Victory!
Of course I have a bit further to go yet.
So that bit of chocolate last night didn't adversely affect my weight, and didn't make me crave more. I ate it straight after dinner and I didn't even think about food the rest of the night. The risk of course, is when occasionally becomes often becomes always.
I did have a thought, that since that little bit of sugar wasn't a problem, maybe I can have sugar in my tea again. Right? And then I could hear all the shaking heads of my blog readers and the voices shouting "you had some sugar and think it didn't affect you but now you want to have it every day again? you poor deluded addict." So I will continue sugar-free during the week just to show you.
The first real diet I ever went on was just before my wedding in 2002, my mum suggested and paid for SureSlim. It was very expensive. You have your blood tested and they somehow work out from this how "sensitive" you are to carbohydrates and then regardless of the result put you on an extremely low carb diet. With weekly one-to-one meetings where they weigh you and frown when you didn't stick to the diet. I lost 5 kg in six weeks and was miserable every second. And horrible to live with. Anyway, my blood test result was "slightly sensitive to carbs" (or something like that) which was probably their lowest rating. I wonder if that was true, and what they were actually testing? Blood sugar? In which case I'd probably get a much higher rating now that I am prediabetic.
Preparing for dinner tonight was slightly tricky. This week extra people were coming. I thought a large leg of lamb would just stretch to everyone with plenty of side vegetables. Then this afternoon Tim was worried about some other family members who might be insulted if they found out these extra people came but they weren't invited. So we invited them. And all afternoon waited to hear back. Not knowing whether I needed to rush out and get more food. Not enough meat, not enough dessert... I was already really cutting it fine. What could I whip up at the last minute if they showed up and I needed more food? Anyway, we never heard back and they didn't come so it worked out ok.
My plan to avoid sugary dessert tonight was to make a kind of sorbet from frozen banana and raspberries blended up with a scoop of yoghurt. Banana makes it creamy and smooth without making it too bananery, it mostly tastes of the raspberries. Everyone else got a scoop of it with their apple berry crumble, I just had the sorbet. And didn't need much of that, it was already a bigger meal than I usually have, with a little of everything.
Later I must admit I had one piece of chocolate that one of the guests brought. So that was a little slip, since I definitely didn't plan it. But then I didn't have more even though I really wanted to so that was a win. I was able to resist going back.
We had our theories about why it was a bigger family group tonight. Maybe an announcement? Tim thought that one family member was pregnant, I thought a different one was. We were both right! But one was announced tonight, the other is still mostly secret (too early to tell people). She did quietly confirm to me when I said I thought she was. Very exciting. Two babies before the end of the year!
B: bacon, cucumber, tomato, tea.
L: chicken and vegetable stir fry with oyster sauce.
D: two crackers with dip, roast lamb, gravy, potato, broccoli, corn, raspberry sorbet, chocolate.
Today I am under 80 kg for the first time in forever. 79.9 kg this morning! I had to stare at the scales for quite a while to decipher that weird number that I haven't seen for so long. Victory!
Of course I have a bit further to go yet.
So that bit of chocolate last night didn't adversely affect my weight, and didn't make me crave more. I ate it straight after dinner and I didn't even think about food the rest of the night. The risk of course, is when occasionally becomes often becomes always.
I did have a thought, that since that little bit of sugar wasn't a problem, maybe I can have sugar in my tea again. Right? And then I could hear all the shaking heads of my blog readers and the voices shouting "you had some sugar and think it didn't affect you but now you want to have it every day again? you poor deluded addict." So I will continue sugar-free during the week just to show you.
The first real diet I ever went on was just before my wedding in 2002, my mum suggested and paid for SureSlim. It was very expensive. You have your blood tested and they somehow work out from this how "sensitive" you are to carbohydrates and then regardless of the result put you on an extremely low carb diet. With weekly one-to-one meetings where they weigh you and frown when you didn't stick to the diet. I lost 5 kg in six weeks and was miserable every second. And horrible to live with. Anyway, my blood test result was "slightly sensitive to carbs" (or something like that) which was probably their lowest rating. I wonder if that was true, and what they were actually testing? Blood sugar? In which case I'd probably get a much higher rating now that I am prediabetic.
Preparing for dinner tonight was slightly tricky. This week extra people were coming. I thought a large leg of lamb would just stretch to everyone with plenty of side vegetables. Then this afternoon Tim was worried about some other family members who might be insulted if they found out these extra people came but they weren't invited. So we invited them. And all afternoon waited to hear back. Not knowing whether I needed to rush out and get more food. Not enough meat, not enough dessert... I was already really cutting it fine. What could I whip up at the last minute if they showed up and I needed more food? Anyway, we never heard back and they didn't come so it worked out ok.
My plan to avoid sugary dessert tonight was to make a kind of sorbet from frozen banana and raspberries blended up with a scoop of yoghurt. Banana makes it creamy and smooth without making it too bananery, it mostly tastes of the raspberries. Everyone else got a scoop of it with their apple berry crumble, I just had the sorbet. And didn't need much of that, it was already a bigger meal than I usually have, with a little of everything.
Later I must admit I had one piece of chocolate that one of the guests brought. So that was a little slip, since I definitely didn't plan it. But then I didn't have more even though I really wanted to so that was a win. I was able to resist going back.
We had our theories about why it was a bigger family group tonight. Maybe an announcement? Tim thought that one family member was pregnant, I thought a different one was. We were both right! But one was announced tonight, the other is still mostly secret (too early to tell people). She did quietly confirm to me when I said I thought she was. Very exciting. Two babies before the end of the year!
B: bacon, cucumber, tomato, tea.
L: chicken and vegetable stir fry with oyster sauce.
D: two crackers with dip, roast lamb, gravy, potato, broccoli, corn, raspberry sorbet, chocolate.
Tuesday, July 14, 2015
Inside Out
Tuesday:
Is it Tuesday? School holidays don't follow our usual daily pattern, so I get lost sometimes.
We went to the movies this morning, firstly doing a lap inside the shopping centre as a bit of a walk. We saw "Inside Out" which was really good. Luckily kids' movies these days tend to appeal to parents as well, because I rarely see anything else!
We went to a Thai restaurant for lunch and ordered two dishes between the three of us, one served with rice and one served with rice noodles. I didn't eat any of the starches, sticking to chicken and vegetables (and yummy sauces of course). I had a chocolate bar in the movie.
Then we did some grocery shopping and came home.
I've been feeling pretty depressed, last night and today. Part of it is thinking about dad's death, and partly these persistent germs (I have a sore throat again) but partly it is FogDog's fault! He is the latest of the bloggers I follow to give up sugar and suddenly lose weight (13 pounds in 13 days) with no cravings after the first few days -- not just no cravings for sugar but for any food. We used to be on the same page about the whole sugar thing, but now he writes:
"I've read a lot of literature on the evils of sugar. I've always held the belief that anything is OK as long as it is in moderation. I'm not so sure about that belief anymore."
I guess I don't want to believe this is true for me. I mean, I don't eat that much sugar, right? I just looked up that the average for someone from the US is 76.7 grams of added sugar per day, not including juice. Since my treats are usually savoury and I cook nearly all meals from scratch; most days I would have 10-20 grams of added sugar, primarily in my tea and in chocolate. I've already given up all the yummy starches that I love. You want me to give up tea and chocolate as well! So unfair.
But it seems to work for so many people. And nothing I try does.
I have tried giving up sugar a couple of times; last year along with dairy, alcohol, soy and grains, for Whole 30. I didn't make it to 30 days. I felt depressed for eight days and much better when I gave up and ate a few chocolate chips, so make of that what you will. I always feel horrible when I go low-carb, so it's hard to separate out the effect of withdrawal from processed sugar.
... I left it there instead of continuing a rant about how much life sucked and why was everyone being mean to me by giving up sugar. About an hour later I suddenly connected several of my sentences together.
"I've been feeling pretty depressed, last night and today."
"I've already given up all the yummy starches that I love."
"I always feel horrible when I go low carb."
Seeing any connection?!
When I had this epiphany I was already feeling quite a lot better, oddly enough after eating a couple of tablespoons of All Bran as recommended by the Glycaemic Load book guy to keep fibre levels up. Hmm, any relevance there? You think?!
I felt an immediate huge emotional relief on top of already feeling less depressed after the All Bran. I wasn't just randomly miserable, it was my well established inability to handle low carb diets! (NB, it was nothing to do with sugar as I was still having my usual amount of sugar -- how I feel without sugar specifically is yet to be established.)
Clearly I need to be vigilant about getting enough carbohydrate while I cut out starches. It's tricky. I'm not allowed the most carbohydrate-rich foods and I don't like pumpkin or sweet potato, so I need to keep up the levels of other vegetables and fruit. And All Bran. Otherwise I'll be turning to more sugar and caffeine to prop up my mood.
Report card:
Diet: Ok. A bit too much chocolate (I think to combat depression).
Breakfast: Bacon. Orange. Tea. It was a fairly small serve of bacon, two short rashers, but I shouldn't have it more than once a week (my doctor said once a year!). But I struggled with breakfast already and now I've cut out toast and all cereals it doesn't leave much that I want to eat first thing. I don't want eggs every day, I need to make sure I have some leftover meat available at least some mornings.
Morning: Toblerone chocolate bar. Cheese.
Lunch: Thai chicken and vegetables in peanut sauce.
Afternoon: All Bran. One square of dark chocolate (melted over the All Bran to make it edible, it was pretty good actually, like a little chocolate and fibre cookie). Tea.
Dinner: Bolognaise with zoodles (zucchini noodles) and cheese.
Exercise: Ok. A short walk.
Water: Good.
Sleep: Poor.
Mental health: Poor.
Is it Tuesday? School holidays don't follow our usual daily pattern, so I get lost sometimes.
We went to the movies this morning, firstly doing a lap inside the shopping centre as a bit of a walk. We saw "Inside Out" which was really good. Luckily kids' movies these days tend to appeal to parents as well, because I rarely see anything else!
We went to a Thai restaurant for lunch and ordered two dishes between the three of us, one served with rice and one served with rice noodles. I didn't eat any of the starches, sticking to chicken and vegetables (and yummy sauces of course). I had a chocolate bar in the movie.
Then we did some grocery shopping and came home.
I've been feeling pretty depressed, last night and today. Part of it is thinking about dad's death, and partly these persistent germs (I have a sore throat again) but partly it is FogDog's fault! He is the latest of the bloggers I follow to give up sugar and suddenly lose weight (13 pounds in 13 days) with no cravings after the first few days -- not just no cravings for sugar but for any food. We used to be on the same page about the whole sugar thing, but now he writes:
"I've read a lot of literature on the evils of sugar. I've always held the belief that anything is OK as long as it is in moderation. I'm not so sure about that belief anymore."
I guess I don't want to believe this is true for me. I mean, I don't eat that much sugar, right? I just looked up that the average for someone from the US is 76.7 grams of added sugar per day, not including juice. Since my treats are usually savoury and I cook nearly all meals from scratch; most days I would have 10-20 grams of added sugar, primarily in my tea and in chocolate. I've already given up all the yummy starches that I love. You want me to give up tea and chocolate as well! So unfair.
But it seems to work for so many people. And nothing I try does.
I have tried giving up sugar a couple of times; last year along with dairy, alcohol, soy and grains, for Whole 30. I didn't make it to 30 days. I felt depressed for eight days and much better when I gave up and ate a few chocolate chips, so make of that what you will. I always feel horrible when I go low-carb, so it's hard to separate out the effect of withdrawal from processed sugar.
... I left it there instead of continuing a rant about how much life sucked and why was everyone being mean to me by giving up sugar. About an hour later I suddenly connected several of my sentences together.
"I've been feeling pretty depressed, last night and today."
"I've already given up all the yummy starches that I love."
"I always feel horrible when I go low carb."
Seeing any connection?!
When I had this epiphany I was already feeling quite a lot better, oddly enough after eating a couple of tablespoons of All Bran as recommended by the Glycaemic Load book guy to keep fibre levels up. Hmm, any relevance there? You think?!
I felt an immediate huge emotional relief on top of already feeling less depressed after the All Bran. I wasn't just randomly miserable, it was my well established inability to handle low carb diets! (NB, it was nothing to do with sugar as I was still having my usual amount of sugar -- how I feel without sugar specifically is yet to be established.)
Clearly I need to be vigilant about getting enough carbohydrate while I cut out starches. It's tricky. I'm not allowed the most carbohydrate-rich foods and I don't like pumpkin or sweet potato, so I need to keep up the levels of other vegetables and fruit. And All Bran. Otherwise I'll be turning to more sugar and caffeine to prop up my mood.
Report card:
Diet: Ok. A bit too much chocolate (I think to combat depression).
Breakfast: Bacon. Orange. Tea. It was a fairly small serve of bacon, two short rashers, but I shouldn't have it more than once a week (my doctor said once a year!). But I struggled with breakfast already and now I've cut out toast and all cereals it doesn't leave much that I want to eat first thing. I don't want eggs every day, I need to make sure I have some leftover meat available at least some mornings.
Morning: Toblerone chocolate bar. Cheese.
Lunch: Thai chicken and vegetables in peanut sauce.
Afternoon: All Bran. One square of dark chocolate (melted over the All Bran to make it edible, it was pretty good actually, like a little chocolate and fibre cookie). Tea.
Dinner: Bolognaise with zoodles (zucchini noodles) and cheese.
Exercise: Ok. A short walk.
Water: Good.
Sleep: Poor.
Mental health: Poor.
Thursday, March 19, 2015
Swimming upstream
Thursday:
Thanks everyone for your kind wishes yesterday. I am feeling a lot better today. It's been a hard year so far, I'm hoping things improve soon. At least my mood has lifted.
I was looking at the first couple of weeks of this blog, which I started on 19 June 2010, a few days before my 40th birthday. My starting weight was 83.1 kg. I am less than a kilogram different today, nearly five years later. Five years of trying to swim upstream has kept me in the same spot. I suppose at least I haven't put on weight, which I'm sure I would have done if I wasn't fighting it. There's a strong current trying to wash me downstream. It feels like damn hard work to swim against it, and it is relentless. If you stop swimming, you start floating away immediately, and then you have to fight even harder to get back to where you were.
So what are the options? I can give up and get washed out into the vast sea where I will grow just as vast. I dream of getting towed along behind a boat, not having to do the work myself, but I don't believe the ads that promise a free ride (and once they've got a hook in your mouth, who knows where that will end). I can swim more consistently, so I don't keep slipping back... is this salmon metaphor going anywhere or have I lost the plot?
What I believe is that I know what I have to do, but I don't do it with any consistency. My average month probably has one good week, two mediocre weeks, one bad week. Which averages out to mediocre, which keeps me in the same weight range year after year. If I could even make it two good weeks and two mediocre weeks that would be a big improvement that might show some results.
I spent the morning present shopping and the afternoon in housework and time wasting. If you want a bit of a laugh, have a look at the web show "The Katering Show". The episode "I quit sugar" is hilarious (with a certain amount of profanity as they go through withdrawal). It's only 8 minutes long, go on, you've got 8 minutes. And you get to hear some Australian accents!
Report card:
Diet: Ok.
Exercise: Poor.
Water: Good. Yay!
Sleep: Ok.
Mental health: Good.
Thanks everyone for your kind wishes yesterday. I am feeling a lot better today. It's been a hard year so far, I'm hoping things improve soon. At least my mood has lifted.
I was looking at the first couple of weeks of this blog, which I started on 19 June 2010, a few days before my 40th birthday. My starting weight was 83.1 kg. I am less than a kilogram different today, nearly five years later. Five years of trying to swim upstream has kept me in the same spot. I suppose at least I haven't put on weight, which I'm sure I would have done if I wasn't fighting it. There's a strong current trying to wash me downstream. It feels like damn hard work to swim against it, and it is relentless. If you stop swimming, you start floating away immediately, and then you have to fight even harder to get back to where you were.
So what are the options? I can give up and get washed out into the vast sea where I will grow just as vast. I dream of getting towed along behind a boat, not having to do the work myself, but I don't believe the ads that promise a free ride (and once they've got a hook in your mouth, who knows where that will end). I can swim more consistently, so I don't keep slipping back... is this salmon metaphor going anywhere or have I lost the plot?
What I believe is that I know what I have to do, but I don't do it with any consistency. My average month probably has one good week, two mediocre weeks, one bad week. Which averages out to mediocre, which keeps me in the same weight range year after year. If I could even make it two good weeks and two mediocre weeks that would be a big improvement that might show some results.
I spent the morning present shopping and the afternoon in housework and time wasting. If you want a bit of a laugh, have a look at the web show "The Katering Show". The episode "I quit sugar" is hilarious (with a certain amount of profanity as they go through withdrawal). It's only 8 minutes long, go on, you've got 8 minutes. And you get to hear some Australian accents!
Report card:
Diet: Ok.
Exercise: Poor.
Water: Good. Yay!
Sleep: Ok.
Mental health: Good.
Sunday, November 9, 2014
Birthday party
Sunday:
It was a very busy and exhausting weekend. I am still battling my cold, and trying not to pass it on to everyone, while having family staying here (including a toddler) and hosting a birthday party for Aiden who turns eight tomorrow. Lots of cleaning and cooking and making some vague attempt to be sociable when sometimes I just wanted to sit down and cry from tiredness.
Aiden asked for a strawberry birthday cake. I've never made one but I searched the internet and came up with a recipe that included real pureed strawberries in the batter. I made cream cheese frosting and put fresh strawberries on top and it turned out very well. I make no claims for decorating skill.
Tim ran the games, which included the Water Balloon Olympics in the backyard (it was a very hot day) and I think all the kids had a great time. But my favourite moment was when all the guests left!
Everyone is talking about sugar these days and a lot of bloggers talk about their addiction to the substance, for instance their brain lights up like it's cocaine and they just have to avoid it entirely. I'm finding I also have to avoid it these days but not for the same reason! My body does not in any way have a positive response. For many years I've felt quite ill if I've eaten a lot of sugar, I feel what I call "over-sugared" and it is not a nice feeling. And I also get mouth ulcers which stay for days and are quite painful and make it hard to eat anything. Last night because we had visitors we had dessert after dinner (we don't usually), a rather delicious chocolate mousse cake that I bought frozen because I was too tired to do any additional cooking. And within about half an hour I had an ulcer on the tip of my tongue. I couldn't believe everyone else wanted supper a couple of hours later - how could they eat when I felt so yuck? Today at the party I had one single m&m, and the pain from the ulcer convinced me not to have anything else sweet. (I did try the cake though, I will admit, but left a lot on my plate.) I enjoyed my roast chicken for dinner tonight very much, but if I look at the left over party food I just wince.
I've been going back and forth for years on sugar in my tea and I may have finally conquered that one. I just didn't like the taste as much without that half-a-teaspoon of sugar. I went down to zero for a week then tried sugar again and it was too sweet. Yet I still don't like the taste so much without it. I could give up tea altogether I suppose, but I like the calming ritual of it. If I'm not "addicted" to sugar do I need to give it up? It has never been a trigger food for me, salty crunchy fatty things are my downfall (Doritos I'm looking at you). Yet my body is clearly telling me it doesn't like it. I just looked up that chocolate mousse cake and I would have eaten around 21 grams of sugar, four teaspoons (much less than is in a can of cola). I guess I am resentful that I can't have the occasional sweet dessert without consequences. But I've been having this response to large(ish) amounts of sugar for years and I am pre-diabetic - I really need to start listening to my body!
It was a very busy and exhausting weekend. I am still battling my cold, and trying not to pass it on to everyone, while having family staying here (including a toddler) and hosting a birthday party for Aiden who turns eight tomorrow. Lots of cleaning and cooking and making some vague attempt to be sociable when sometimes I just wanted to sit down and cry from tiredness.
Aiden asked for a strawberry birthday cake. I've never made one but I searched the internet and came up with a recipe that included real pureed strawberries in the batter. I made cream cheese frosting and put fresh strawberries on top and it turned out very well. I make no claims for decorating skill.
Tim ran the games, which included the Water Balloon Olympics in the backyard (it was a very hot day) and I think all the kids had a great time. But my favourite moment was when all the guests left!
Everyone is talking about sugar these days and a lot of bloggers talk about their addiction to the substance, for instance their brain lights up like it's cocaine and they just have to avoid it entirely. I'm finding I also have to avoid it these days but not for the same reason! My body does not in any way have a positive response. For many years I've felt quite ill if I've eaten a lot of sugar, I feel what I call "over-sugared" and it is not a nice feeling. And I also get mouth ulcers which stay for days and are quite painful and make it hard to eat anything. Last night because we had visitors we had dessert after dinner (we don't usually), a rather delicious chocolate mousse cake that I bought frozen because I was too tired to do any additional cooking. And within about half an hour I had an ulcer on the tip of my tongue. I couldn't believe everyone else wanted supper a couple of hours later - how could they eat when I felt so yuck? Today at the party I had one single m&m, and the pain from the ulcer convinced me not to have anything else sweet. (I did try the cake though, I will admit, but left a lot on my plate.) I enjoyed my roast chicken for dinner tonight very much, but if I look at the left over party food I just wince.
I've been going back and forth for years on sugar in my tea and I may have finally conquered that one. I just didn't like the taste as much without that half-a-teaspoon of sugar. I went down to zero for a week then tried sugar again and it was too sweet. Yet I still don't like the taste so much without it. I could give up tea altogether I suppose, but I like the calming ritual of it. If I'm not "addicted" to sugar do I need to give it up? It has never been a trigger food for me, salty crunchy fatty things are my downfall (Doritos I'm looking at you). Yet my body is clearly telling me it doesn't like it. I just looked up that chocolate mousse cake and I would have eaten around 21 grams of sugar, four teaspoons (much less than is in a can of cola). I guess I am resentful that I can't have the occasional sweet dessert without consequences. But I've been having this response to large(ish) amounts of sugar for years and I am pre-diabetic - I really need to start listening to my body!
Sunday, August 3, 2014
Sugar and gluten
Sunday:
Thanks for the kind suggestions about cutting out sugar (and gluten), I know that works for a lot of people, however I have tried giving up sugar, gluten, soy, dairy and alcohol and it didn't help me at all. I don't think I am sensitive to any of those things. But I do think my slide back into less-healthy food has made existing problems worse so I need to work on reducing the junky processed stuff. It's just that horrible cycle that when I'm tired and run down I want to turn to easy processed food (full of sugar, fat, carbs and salt - none of which I think are necessarily evil but they are in that quantity and that highly processed), but processed food makes me feel worse so I want to use food as a crutch even more...
My food was pretty good today (dark chocolate still counts as good, right?) and got out for a walk with Thor so here's hoping for a better night sleep tonight.
Thanks for the kind suggestions about cutting out sugar (and gluten), I know that works for a lot of people, however I have tried giving up sugar, gluten, soy, dairy and alcohol and it didn't help me at all. I don't think I am sensitive to any of those things. But I do think my slide back into less-healthy food has made existing problems worse so I need to work on reducing the junky processed stuff. It's just that horrible cycle that when I'm tired and run down I want to turn to easy processed food (full of sugar, fat, carbs and salt - none of which I think are necessarily evil but they are in that quantity and that highly processed), but processed food makes me feel worse so I want to use food as a crutch even more...
My food was pretty good today (dark chocolate still counts as good, right?) and got out for a walk with Thor so here's hoping for a better night sleep tonight.
Monday, June 23, 2014
Fat vs sugar
Tuesday:
Last night I watched a show about fat vs sugar. It started off a bit unscientific, they got ONE set of identical twins (the hosts of the show, both doctors, one person in each group is not really a valid sample size for a study!) and put one on a high fat/low sugar diet and the other on a high sugar/low fat diet. They could eat as much as they wanted of their assigned foods. They both lost weight, fat and muscle loss, in the four weeks. The high fat twin was deemed to be doing more damage to his body, I think. Surprisingly, his insulin resistance was much worse than his high-sugar brother's. But overall they said either extreme was bad and you shouldn't cut out any food group or overeat in another like that.
They then looked at scientific studies. The bit that interested me was that people don't generally eat just fat or just sugar. Lump of butter, anyone? A couple of tablespoons of sugar by itself? (But what about soft drink/soda?) And in studies with rats, they generally wouldn't overeat or get fat when given free access to fat or sugar along with healthy rat food. But mix them together... oh my. Apparently the most palatable combination is around half fat, half sugar. Cheesecake! It seems to switch off our self-regulation ability. The rats stuffed themselves and got obese. And people are the same. One reason all that processed food is so dangerous. The combination of fat and sugar together does not appear in nature, they said! (Although it occurs to me, isn't milk - including human milk - both fatty and quite sweet?) Anyway, it wasn't really an in-depth report and mainly covered one researcher's life work, but it was interesting just the same.
The last two days I've finally got back to writing properly instead of just staring blankly at the screen, I've had a couple of good sessions, the first since we got Thor. So that is exciting. Maybe I'll get this book written eventually after all. It's amazing what a bit of sleep can do for the brain.
The temperature has plummeted here and it is definitely making me want to eat more. Have to make sure I have hot and comforting yet healthy options available. I've got some chicken soup simmering away on the stove for tomorrow's lunch.
I cleaned up my blog roll a bit today, taking off blogs that hadn't been updated in months - or in some cases years. Still following around 30, either weight-loss or writing related. It's always sad when a blogger disappears. Unless they say goodbye you assume relapse that they don't want to confess. Other people I follow have said they are taking a hiatus. I guess I understand that, although I mostly just talk about day to day stuff so I never have to stress about what to talk about, or about being profound. It must be almost exactly four years since I started, just before my 40th birthday. Happy birthday, blog!
Last night I watched a show about fat vs sugar. It started off a bit unscientific, they got ONE set of identical twins (the hosts of the show, both doctors, one person in each group is not really a valid sample size for a study!) and put one on a high fat/low sugar diet and the other on a high sugar/low fat diet. They could eat as much as they wanted of their assigned foods. They both lost weight, fat and muscle loss, in the four weeks. The high fat twin was deemed to be doing more damage to his body, I think. Surprisingly, his insulin resistance was much worse than his high-sugar brother's. But overall they said either extreme was bad and you shouldn't cut out any food group or overeat in another like that.
They then looked at scientific studies. The bit that interested me was that people don't generally eat just fat or just sugar. Lump of butter, anyone? A couple of tablespoons of sugar by itself? (But what about soft drink/soda?) And in studies with rats, they generally wouldn't overeat or get fat when given free access to fat or sugar along with healthy rat food. But mix them together... oh my. Apparently the most palatable combination is around half fat, half sugar. Cheesecake! It seems to switch off our self-regulation ability. The rats stuffed themselves and got obese. And people are the same. One reason all that processed food is so dangerous. The combination of fat and sugar together does not appear in nature, they said! (Although it occurs to me, isn't milk - including human milk - both fatty and quite sweet?) Anyway, it wasn't really an in-depth report and mainly covered one researcher's life work, but it was interesting just the same.
The last two days I've finally got back to writing properly instead of just staring blankly at the screen, I've had a couple of good sessions, the first since we got Thor. So that is exciting. Maybe I'll get this book written eventually after all. It's amazing what a bit of sleep can do for the brain.
The temperature has plummeted here and it is definitely making me want to eat more. Have to make sure I have hot and comforting yet healthy options available. I've got some chicken soup simmering away on the stove for tomorrow's lunch.
I cleaned up my blog roll a bit today, taking off blogs that hadn't been updated in months - or in some cases years. Still following around 30, either weight-loss or writing related. It's always sad when a blogger disappears. Unless they say goodbye you assume relapse that they don't want to confess. Other people I follow have said they are taking a hiatus. I guess I understand that, although I mostly just talk about day to day stuff so I never have to stress about what to talk about, or about being profound. It must be almost exactly four years since I started, just before my 40th birthday. Happy birthday, blog!
Wednesday, June 4, 2014
Does that count as a win?
Wednesday:
Is this a fail or a win? Last night I had 200 calories to spend on treat foods. I started with a couple of wholegrain crackers with cheese, which I didn't count as a treat but it put something in my stomach. I chose some chocolate and some chips and counted them out onto a plate. So that was good. Then I randomly grabbed a pear cider which would totally take me over my treat limit. I ignored the "good me" voice warning me against it and told myself it was ok. That is the fail bit. I fully intended to eat/drink more calories than I had planned for.
I ate half the chocolate and some of the chips and had a few sips of the cider. And didn't want any more. It wasn't any effort of will power, I just didn't want to have any more. So I didn't. Is that a win? I'll call it a win. I could easily, in the past, have just eaten the rest even though I didn't want it; I did that all the time. But this time I pushed it away.
I always say I'm not addicted to sugar, I don't even like sweet things much except as a little taste. But these past two weeks I've been mainly sticking to real food and therefore unintentionally having less sugar - just a bit in my tea and the occasional piece of chocolate. And my food cravings - which are generally for non-sweet things - have been almost non-existent. I'm not sure if it is related to reduced sugar/fake food or if it's just that I am still in the "honeymoon" period of a new diet. I have rarely made it to the two week point before though.
I've been in a few situations that are typically tempting for me; games night, shopping when hungry, my own cooking, but I really haven't been all that tempted most of the time. Food doesn't seem as important as usual. I have houseguests this weekend so I have to negotiate that. Do I offer any unhealthy dessert/snacks? Or only what will fit into my food plan?
Another good night with Thor only getting us out of bed once. The arrangement is that Tim takes him outside in the cold dark (maybe rain) for a toilet stop then I stay up with him inside for the 20-30 minutes he needs to get sleepy again, and put him back to bed. Alternating would mean one person could stay in bed, but I am scared of the dark and Tim needs his sleep to work the next day so this way works best for both of us. And once a night isn't too bad. Four times a night was horrible.
Unfortunately I'm having a lot of trouble with my CPAP. Since getting the flu a month ago, I think I've got through a whole night with it a total of three times. At first it was just the frequent coughing that would make me give up, but now I am having some technical issues. Twice there was a loud air escape from the machine which I couldn't investigate in the dark (turned out it was just the lid to the humidifier popping open under pressure, I mustn't have shut it properly), and for the last couple of nights air has started escaping around my nostrils after I've been wearing it for a while (maybe when it gets up to full pressure). But why now? Have my nostrils changed size or shape? I didn't have this problem before. The CPAP isn't a whole mask, just little plastic marshmallows sitting inside my nostrils. I wriggle it around but can't stop the air leak. It is noisy (comparatively, in the dead of night) and unpleasant if it is blowing into my eye. Always right nostril, I think. If it keeps happening I'll have to investigate other masks, but it is weird because this exact one was working perfectly for me before.
[edit: when washing it this evening I found the inner part was inside out which would hopefully explain the escaping air - hopefully will be better tonight]
Still on track with my food but not exercising at all except for walking the kids to and from school, carrying a puppy. I can't let him down because he is not fully immunised yet. He really wants to walk, but I can't let him. Too many other dogs around. Sigh. He is cute and cuddly and takes up soooo much of my time. It's been 14 years since I had a dog, I guess I forgot.
Is this a fail or a win? Last night I had 200 calories to spend on treat foods. I started with a couple of wholegrain crackers with cheese, which I didn't count as a treat but it put something in my stomach. I chose some chocolate and some chips and counted them out onto a plate. So that was good. Then I randomly grabbed a pear cider which would totally take me over my treat limit. I ignored the "good me" voice warning me against it and told myself it was ok. That is the fail bit. I fully intended to eat/drink more calories than I had planned for.
I ate half the chocolate and some of the chips and had a few sips of the cider. And didn't want any more. It wasn't any effort of will power, I just didn't want to have any more. So I didn't. Is that a win? I'll call it a win. I could easily, in the past, have just eaten the rest even though I didn't want it; I did that all the time. But this time I pushed it away.
I always say I'm not addicted to sugar, I don't even like sweet things much except as a little taste. But these past two weeks I've been mainly sticking to real food and therefore unintentionally having less sugar - just a bit in my tea and the occasional piece of chocolate. And my food cravings - which are generally for non-sweet things - have been almost non-existent. I'm not sure if it is related to reduced sugar/fake food or if it's just that I am still in the "honeymoon" period of a new diet. I have rarely made it to the two week point before though.
I've been in a few situations that are typically tempting for me; games night, shopping when hungry, my own cooking, but I really haven't been all that tempted most of the time. Food doesn't seem as important as usual. I have houseguests this weekend so I have to negotiate that. Do I offer any unhealthy dessert/snacks? Or only what will fit into my food plan?
Another good night with Thor only getting us out of bed once. The arrangement is that Tim takes him outside in the cold dark (maybe rain) for a toilet stop then I stay up with him inside for the 20-30 minutes he needs to get sleepy again, and put him back to bed. Alternating would mean one person could stay in bed, but I am scared of the dark and Tim needs his sleep to work the next day so this way works best for both of us. And once a night isn't too bad. Four times a night was horrible.
Unfortunately I'm having a lot of trouble with my CPAP. Since getting the flu a month ago, I think I've got through a whole night with it a total of three times. At first it was just the frequent coughing that would make me give up, but now I am having some technical issues. Twice there was a loud air escape from the machine which I couldn't investigate in the dark (turned out it was just the lid to the humidifier popping open under pressure, I mustn't have shut it properly), and for the last couple of nights air has started escaping around my nostrils after I've been wearing it for a while (maybe when it gets up to full pressure). But why now? Have my nostrils changed size or shape? I didn't have this problem before. The CPAP isn't a whole mask, just little plastic marshmallows sitting inside my nostrils. I wriggle it around but can't stop the air leak. It is noisy (comparatively, in the dead of night) and unpleasant if it is blowing into my eye. Always right nostril, I think. If it keeps happening I'll have to investigate other masks, but it is weird because this exact one was working perfectly for me before.
[edit: when washing it this evening I found the inner part was inside out which would hopefully explain the escaping air - hopefully will be better tonight]
Still on track with my food but not exercising at all except for walking the kids to and from school, carrying a puppy. I can't let him down because he is not fully immunised yet. He really wants to walk, but I can't let him. Too many other dogs around. Sigh. He is cute and cuddly and takes up soooo much of my time. It's been 14 years since I had a dog, I guess I forgot.
Sunday, December 29, 2013
Sugar
Sunday:
I've often said that I don't really have a problem with sugar (I have other issues, of course) and it doesn't particularly tempt me. Over the several-day family hop that is Christmas I had a lot more sugar than usual; desserts, nibbles between meals, and worst of all soft drink (fizzy, sugary stuff - I think Americans call it soda).
I don't even know why I drank it, I can't stand the stuff. So sweet and cloying. But it was mostly what was offered and I was too lazy to get up and get myself a glass of water, I guess. With that plus juice at breakfast I had gone from zero sweet drinks to four or five a day. By lunchtime on Boxing Day I could actually feel it sluggishly filling up my bloodstream, it was making me feel physically sick. So I vowed not to have any more, and I didn't.
But since then, whether from the liquid sugar or just the general treat-fest, I have been craving sugar. I've eaten most of the little treats from my two Christmas stockings, even the ones I don't like and couldn't believe I was eating them. Peppermint candy canes in particular have become irresistible. I can see this is going to take a bit of work. Getting back to normal after Christmas isn't as easy as I expected.
I've often said that I don't really have a problem with sugar (I have other issues, of course) and it doesn't particularly tempt me. Over the several-day family hop that is Christmas I had a lot more sugar than usual; desserts, nibbles between meals, and worst of all soft drink (fizzy, sugary stuff - I think Americans call it soda).
I don't even know why I drank it, I can't stand the stuff. So sweet and cloying. But it was mostly what was offered and I was too lazy to get up and get myself a glass of water, I guess. With that plus juice at breakfast I had gone from zero sweet drinks to four or five a day. By lunchtime on Boxing Day I could actually feel it sluggishly filling up my bloodstream, it was making me feel physically sick. So I vowed not to have any more, and I didn't.
But since then, whether from the liquid sugar or just the general treat-fest, I have been craving sugar. I've eaten most of the little treats from my two Christmas stockings, even the ones I don't like and couldn't believe I was eating them. Peppermint candy canes in particular have become irresistible. I can see this is going to take a bit of work. Getting back to normal after Christmas isn't as easy as I expected.
Wednesday, October 9, 2013
Too much sugar
Thursday:
I am actually really looking forward to starting Whole30 on Saturday. With guests here, more sugar and refined carbs have crept in. Two desserts so far this week, I made chocolate macarons for afternoon tea (and they lasted over three snack times, so I had quite a few), wine and cider, the usual D&D binge supper. Lots of cheese because I am giving it up in a couple of days. I've been feeling a bit over-sugared. My tongue got sore after eating macarons.
My dad's girlfriend is the polite kind who will only let you make her a cup of tea "if you are having one yourself" so I ended up having more cups of tea (with sugar!) than usual. I already mentioned my wide-awake night after having a cup after dinner. I'm just not used to that much caffeine. I didn't do that again, but I was having up to four cups a day.
Yesterday before they left we were chatting before lunch and it came up that garlic upset her stomach. I had been told this before, but had forgotten. And she also mentioned that she didn't like chilli. I had a sudden panic (not showing on my face, I hope!) as I had steak marinating in chilli and garlic in the fridge to make Thai beef salad! Not much chilli, I wouldn't serve something spicy when I don't know the eater's tolerance, but there was still the garlic. Luckily I had a chicken in the fridge so they went for a walk to the park with the kids while I got that bird hacked up and oven baked in about 30 minutes. I'm sure they would have been fine with sandwiches or anything, but it was a real stress moment for me until I worked out my lunch alternative. I am the planning kind. And I really didn't want dad's lovely girlfriend to feel like she was being "too much trouble" so I couldn't mention the problem.
So, anyway, they've gone and my mum and brother are coming today for two nights. I had originally planned two desserts and other stuff but I've toned it right down. I've bought ice cream and raspberries (the same as we had earlier in the week) for dessert one night, and I will make a batch of chocolate cookies as my mum can't have preservatives in most bought stuff. Apart from that we have plenty of fruit and I'll make normal healthy meals. I do not have to add cream to everything just because we have visitors! My mum is always a challenge to cook for because of her extensive food intolerances (it's me who spends a lot of time on it, she'd be happy to have the same thing every visit) but I've got that sorted.
And on Saturday (they'll leave after lunch, but I'll start first thing in the morning) I'll be on Whole30 and I bet my body will thank me for a break from sugar and alcohol and refined grains. Going to miss cheese though!
While shopping this morning I looked at every brand of packaged bacon and every one had sugar. I usually buy from the deli but didn't trust them to know whether it had sugar or not. Sigh. But I read somewhere the idea of dipping asparagus spears into a soft-boiled egg and that sounds really nice.
I am actually really looking forward to starting Whole30 on Saturday. With guests here, more sugar and refined carbs have crept in. Two desserts so far this week, I made chocolate macarons for afternoon tea (and they lasted over three snack times, so I had quite a few), wine and cider, the usual D&D binge supper. Lots of cheese because I am giving it up in a couple of days. I've been feeling a bit over-sugared. My tongue got sore after eating macarons.
My dad's girlfriend is the polite kind who will only let you make her a cup of tea "if you are having one yourself" so I ended up having more cups of tea (with sugar!) than usual. I already mentioned my wide-awake night after having a cup after dinner. I'm just not used to that much caffeine. I didn't do that again, but I was having up to four cups a day.
Yesterday before they left we were chatting before lunch and it came up that garlic upset her stomach. I had been told this before, but had forgotten. And she also mentioned that she didn't like chilli. I had a sudden panic (not showing on my face, I hope!) as I had steak marinating in chilli and garlic in the fridge to make Thai beef salad! Not much chilli, I wouldn't serve something spicy when I don't know the eater's tolerance, but there was still the garlic. Luckily I had a chicken in the fridge so they went for a walk to the park with the kids while I got that bird hacked up and oven baked in about 30 minutes. I'm sure they would have been fine with sandwiches or anything, but it was a real stress moment for me until I worked out my lunch alternative. I am the planning kind. And I really didn't want dad's lovely girlfriend to feel like she was being "too much trouble" so I couldn't mention the problem.
So, anyway, they've gone and my mum and brother are coming today for two nights. I had originally planned two desserts and other stuff but I've toned it right down. I've bought ice cream and raspberries (the same as we had earlier in the week) for dessert one night, and I will make a batch of chocolate cookies as my mum can't have preservatives in most bought stuff. Apart from that we have plenty of fruit and I'll make normal healthy meals. I do not have to add cream to everything just because we have visitors! My mum is always a challenge to cook for because of her extensive food intolerances (it's me who spends a lot of time on it, she'd be happy to have the same thing every visit) but I've got that sorted.
And on Saturday (they'll leave after lunch, but I'll start first thing in the morning) I'll be on Whole30 and I bet my body will thank me for a break from sugar and alcohol and refined grains. Going to miss cheese though!
While shopping this morning I looked at every brand of packaged bacon and every one had sugar. I usually buy from the deli but didn't trust them to know whether it had sugar or not. Sigh. But I read somewhere the idea of dipping asparagus spears into a soft-boiled egg and that sounds really nice.
Monday, July 22, 2013
A fear of dentists
Tuesday:
I still hoping for a ticket to my daughter's dance concert, a school friend of Jasmine's is the granddaughter of the woman who owns (or runs, maybe) the dance school so I am using that connection and it looks like I might be able to get at least one. Yay for knowing the right people!
It's day two of carb loading. I ate nearly 3000 calories yesterday but that really wasn't necessary -- I had a lot of fat to go with my carbs. Potato in the form of hot chips, lots of butter and cheese with my bread etc. I had really planned to do better today but had a stressful morning then a comfort binge. I know I really need to work on how I deal with stress. Not just turning to food but in other ways too, I get so churned up inside and can't think straight.
Today's stress was the dentist.
I am really scared of the dentist. For a while I thought I was allergic to the anaesthetic they use because I always shake and feel sick until my dentist pointed out I have that reaction even when I don't have an injection! I'm not scared of doctors or needles but there is something about the dentist that freaks me out. I assume it goes back to lots of dental work and braces when I was only 10 or 11 (I had my braces done and off before I got to high school, very mature teeth, but small mouth with no room for them all). I remember hanging on to the parked car for dear life while my mum tried to drag me into the dentist surgery for my next extraction. Injections in the roof of your mouth hurt!
Today was just a clean and check-up. It was mostly done with a manual pick, which I can deal with ok so I got through it merely feeling like a seasick limp rag. It's the air, water, suction, drill, polishing etc that I struggle with. Strong gag reflex, but all psychological - I often gag when they are working right at the front of my mouth. There was only a little bit of that, and the hygenist was very good at giving me breaks when I needed them. But the problem is what they want to do in the future. At my last check up my dentist said she wanted to replace a couple of fillings as they are jagged and stopping me from flossing properly. I made an appointment but then cancelled. It just didn't seem worth the stress when it wasn't an actual emergency. But she pushed it again this time, prevention being better than letting decay start. Two hours (over two appointments) in the dreaded chair; with all the feared appliances. She even talked about using a dental dam - my last dentist tried that once for about two minutes and I felt like I was drowning in my own spit and panicked.
I've made the first appointment, but I don't know if I can do it. I know I should be brave and get it over with, and maybe straight after today's appointment (with the horror so fresh) isn't the best time to make the decision. I'll leave it for now.
But I filled the gaping void of fear in my belly with food.
I'm usually against non-sugar sweetners but yesterday I bought Natvia (made from the stevia leaf and supposed to be natural) because I really do want to cut down on sugar and carbs (after tomorrow) and I haven't had much success with sugar-free tea. Less than half a calorie and no carbs per sachet. I love it! If anything, it tastes better than sugar, although I bet I couldn't actually tell the difference in a blind taste test. So unless I read somewhere about how bad it is for me I'll be using it in my tea and maybe introduce it elsewhere as well.
I still hoping for a ticket to my daughter's dance concert, a school friend of Jasmine's is the granddaughter of the woman who owns (or runs, maybe) the dance school so I am using that connection and it looks like I might be able to get at least one. Yay for knowing the right people!
It's day two of carb loading. I ate nearly 3000 calories yesterday but that really wasn't necessary -- I had a lot of fat to go with my carbs. Potato in the form of hot chips, lots of butter and cheese with my bread etc. I had really planned to do better today but had a stressful morning then a comfort binge. I know I really need to work on how I deal with stress. Not just turning to food but in other ways too, I get so churned up inside and can't think straight.
Today's stress was the dentist.
I am really scared of the dentist. For a while I thought I was allergic to the anaesthetic they use because I always shake and feel sick until my dentist pointed out I have that reaction even when I don't have an injection! I'm not scared of doctors or needles but there is something about the dentist that freaks me out. I assume it goes back to lots of dental work and braces when I was only 10 or 11 (I had my braces done and off before I got to high school, very mature teeth, but small mouth with no room for them all). I remember hanging on to the parked car for dear life while my mum tried to drag me into the dentist surgery for my next extraction. Injections in the roof of your mouth hurt!
Today was just a clean and check-up. It was mostly done with a manual pick, which I can deal with ok so I got through it merely feeling like a seasick limp rag. It's the air, water, suction, drill, polishing etc that I struggle with. Strong gag reflex, but all psychological - I often gag when they are working right at the front of my mouth. There was only a little bit of that, and the hygenist was very good at giving me breaks when I needed them. But the problem is what they want to do in the future. At my last check up my dentist said she wanted to replace a couple of fillings as they are jagged and stopping me from flossing properly. I made an appointment but then cancelled. It just didn't seem worth the stress when it wasn't an actual emergency. But she pushed it again this time, prevention being better than letting decay start. Two hours (over two appointments) in the dreaded chair; with all the feared appliances. She even talked about using a dental dam - my last dentist tried that once for about two minutes and I felt like I was drowning in my own spit and panicked.
I've made the first appointment, but I don't know if I can do it. I know I should be brave and get it over with, and maybe straight after today's appointment (with the horror so fresh) isn't the best time to make the decision. I'll leave it for now.
But I filled the gaping void of fear in my belly with food.
I'm usually against non-sugar sweetners but yesterday I bought Natvia (made from the stevia leaf and supposed to be natural) because I really do want to cut down on sugar and carbs (after tomorrow) and I haven't had much success with sugar-free tea. Less than half a calorie and no carbs per sachet. I love it! If anything, it tastes better than sugar, although I bet I couldn't actually tell the difference in a blind taste test. So unless I read somewhere about how bad it is for me I'll be using it in my tea and maybe introduce it elsewhere as well.
Monday, May 6, 2013
Tuesday is the new Monday
Tuesday:
I was in the mood to get back on track with eating this morning. I generally become angelic briefly on Mondays, but I wasn't going to wait nearly a week to get started. Feeling serious about it again. Weight gradually creeping up.
So I was (approximately) 79kg this morning. I'm back on no sugar or processed carbs. Lots of fruit and vegetables. Working on drinking more water, as usual.
I was due for a zombie run today but I'm putting it off until tomorrow. My right foot has been hurting every time I walk more than about 100 meters for the past few days. I've had this pain occasionally for years, but always before it's been at random intervals, maybe two or three times a year. Now it's every time; walking the kids to school, doing to shopping etc. It's not a really bad pain and it stops after 5 mins or so (even if I keep walking), but it is uncomfortable and I'm worried about making it worse. I'll just do some gentle exercise today, not pounding the pavement.
I'm feeling pretty pumped about how well I am eating today, I even threw out the left-overs of a chocolate cake. And had my tea without sugar.
I was in the mood to get back on track with eating this morning. I generally become angelic briefly on Mondays, but I wasn't going to wait nearly a week to get started. Feeling serious about it again. Weight gradually creeping up.
So I was (approximately) 79kg this morning. I'm back on no sugar or processed carbs. Lots of fruit and vegetables. Working on drinking more water, as usual.
I was due for a zombie run today but I'm putting it off until tomorrow. My right foot has been hurting every time I walk more than about 100 meters for the past few days. I've had this pain occasionally for years, but always before it's been at random intervals, maybe two or three times a year. Now it's every time; walking the kids to school, doing to shopping etc. It's not a really bad pain and it stops after 5 mins or so (even if I keep walking), but it is uncomfortable and I'm worried about making it worse. I'll just do some gentle exercise today, not pounding the pavement.
I'm feeling pretty pumped about how well I am eating today, I even threw out the left-overs of a chocolate cake. And had my tea without sugar.
Monday, February 4, 2013
Changes
Tuesday:
This is day six of the new regime. So what changes have I actually made?
I'm exercising most days, but still not all.
I have cut out almost all sugar, salt, and wheat -- and therefore almost all junk. There are exceptions. I am allowing myself chocolate a couple of times a week, so that has sugar of course. But it is dark chocolate which maximises the intensity with minimal sugar. I haven't added table salt to anything, but I have had things like soy sauce which are salty and probably has a little wheat as well, and salted nuts so I probably still need to reduce that a bit. But we do need some salt, most people just get way too much. Last night after taking Aiden to gymnastics, then Jasmine to dance lessons 15 mins away, then back to pick up Aiden, then back to pick up Jasmine ... we got take-away rotisserie chicken and chips and coleslaw. Which counts as junk in anyone's language, with huge amounts of salt and fat and also sugar in the coleslaw.
But.
No sugar in my tea.
No salt on my dinner. I usually cover everything in salt.
Lots of water.
No bread or pasta or cake or biscuits or lollies (candy) apart from a little chocolate, even during a party, and no dessert even when we had visitors.
Low fat cheese.
Natural yoghurt with no sugar or chemicals in it, into which I stir some real fruit.
More than five serves of vegetables a day, and two of fruit.
Around 1400 calories a day. This is not actually my focus, but is has been easy to achieve due to what I have been eating.
I am still eating plenty of carbohydrate, in the form of quinoa, potato and other vegetables and fruit. Lots and lots of vegetables. But within my pre-diabetic guidelines.
I've lost over a kilogram.
I feel quite tired, but I often do so it is hard to judge if that is any different. I am still eating carbs, but I could be having sugar withdrawal.
I am drinking twice or three times as much fluids as usual, but paradoxically I am now thirsty all the time (this often happens when I drink more, it must turn on my dehydration meter whereas my body usually thinks I must live in a desert so it doesn't bother me with thirst) and also my skin has suddenly become very dry. I have dry patches on my face, the inside of my nose is getting sore because the mucus dries up (sorry for that image) and my hands are dry too. I am rarely in air conditioning as the weather has been quite temperate lately, so it isn't that. My body is weird.
So I couldn't say that I feel like I'm bursting with health or full of energy. Hopefully that will come.
This is day six of the new regime. So what changes have I actually made?
I'm exercising most days, but still not all.
I have cut out almost all sugar, salt, and wheat -- and therefore almost all junk. There are exceptions. I am allowing myself chocolate a couple of times a week, so that has sugar of course. But it is dark chocolate which maximises the intensity with minimal sugar. I haven't added table salt to anything, but I have had things like soy sauce which are salty and probably has a little wheat as well, and salted nuts so I probably still need to reduce that a bit. But we do need some salt, most people just get way too much. Last night after taking Aiden to gymnastics, then Jasmine to dance lessons 15 mins away, then back to pick up Aiden, then back to pick up Jasmine ... we got take-away rotisserie chicken and chips and coleslaw. Which counts as junk in anyone's language, with huge amounts of salt and fat and also sugar in the coleslaw.
But.
No sugar in my tea.
No salt on my dinner. I usually cover everything in salt.
Lots of water.
No bread or pasta or cake or biscuits or lollies (candy) apart from a little chocolate, even during a party, and no dessert even when we had visitors.
Low fat cheese.
Natural yoghurt with no sugar or chemicals in it, into which I stir some real fruit.
More than five serves of vegetables a day, and two of fruit.
Around 1400 calories a day. This is not actually my focus, but is has been easy to achieve due to what I have been eating.
I am still eating plenty of carbohydrate, in the form of quinoa, potato and other vegetables and fruit. Lots and lots of vegetables. But within my pre-diabetic guidelines.
I've lost over a kilogram.
I feel quite tired, but I often do so it is hard to judge if that is any different. I am still eating carbs, but I could be having sugar withdrawal.
I am drinking twice or three times as much fluids as usual, but paradoxically I am now thirsty all the time (this often happens when I drink more, it must turn on my dehydration meter whereas my body usually thinks I must live in a desert so it doesn't bother me with thirst) and also my skin has suddenly become very dry. I have dry patches on my face, the inside of my nose is getting sore because the mucus dries up (sorry for that image) and my hands are dry too. I am rarely in air conditioning as the weather has been quite temperate lately, so it isn't that. My body is weird.
So I couldn't say that I feel like I'm bursting with health or full of energy. Hopefully that will come.
Saturday, January 19, 2013
Evil sugar
Sunday:
My little boy Aiden woke this morning with a nasty vomiting bug, poor little mite. And Tim's sore back is worse today and he is trying to lie flat between helping me with vomit clean-up. Not a well household!
I certainly plan to get some exercise in regardless, but haven't yet.
I've been seeing more and more articles about how bad sugar is for us. There was an article in COSMOS (issue 47, Oct/Nov 12) about fructose destroying our livers and giving us diabetes etc, and how Americans average 22 teaspoons of added sugar a day! Mainly high fructose corn syrup. There is disagreement over whether sugar is the enemy or if we all just have to go low-GI. And there was an interesting point that testing blood sugar only tests for glucose and ignores the fructose. Still lots they don't know, about everything.
There was a mention of people on paleo diets not eating carbs, but that even Neanderthals had grains.
Humans are amazingly adaptable. Some people live on camel's milk mixed with camel's blood and get little else. Other cultures have almost excusively fatty meat with no vegetable matter. Vegans go the other way and seem to do fine with no animal protein at all. Maybe there is an "optimal" diet out there somewhere (although I expect it differs from person to person) but even with all the lifestyle dieases we have, we still live a lot longer than the 30 years or so of history.
Regardless of societal pressures to be slender, I know that I am not my optimal weight. Or rather, not my optimal fitness; as perhaps I could be this weight with more muscles, less visceral fat, yet still plenty of subcutaneous fat making me femininely curvy. But as I am I have knee, ankle and shoulder issues; get distressed in hot weather; and have pre-diabetes which is putting me on the path to lots of horrible complications. So, what is the optimal diet for me?
Who knows?
There doesn't seem to be a lot of agreement about it. And even where there is agreement about what is best, some people argue you can -- nay should -- have a certain level of bad food so that you don't feel deprived and can stick to the diet forever.
For lunch today I had leftover roast from last night. Three thin slices of rare beef, one small piece of potato, tiny onion, one floret of broccoli. And half a cucumber. Well, excellent, yes? Natural meat and plenty of different types of vegetable. But most of it had been cooked with oil. Bad? Olive oil. Good? I put salt on everything. Bad. Too much meat (maybe 100g)? Not enough carbs? Too many?Evil potato, even in a two-mouthful quantity? No dairy included. Bad? Good? At least I know there was no added sugar.
My little boy Aiden woke this morning with a nasty vomiting bug, poor little mite. And Tim's sore back is worse today and he is trying to lie flat between helping me with vomit clean-up. Not a well household!
I certainly plan to get some exercise in regardless, but haven't yet.
I've been seeing more and more articles about how bad sugar is for us. There was an article in COSMOS (issue 47, Oct/Nov 12) about fructose destroying our livers and giving us diabetes etc, and how Americans average 22 teaspoons of added sugar a day! Mainly high fructose corn syrup. There is disagreement over whether sugar is the enemy or if we all just have to go low-GI. And there was an interesting point that testing blood sugar only tests for glucose and ignores the fructose. Still lots they don't know, about everything.
There was a mention of people on paleo diets not eating carbs, but that even Neanderthals had grains.
Humans are amazingly adaptable. Some people live on camel's milk mixed with camel's blood and get little else. Other cultures have almost excusively fatty meat with no vegetable matter. Vegans go the other way and seem to do fine with no animal protein at all. Maybe there is an "optimal" diet out there somewhere (although I expect it differs from person to person) but even with all the lifestyle dieases we have, we still live a lot longer than the 30 years or so of history.
Regardless of societal pressures to be slender, I know that I am not my optimal weight. Or rather, not my optimal fitness; as perhaps I could be this weight with more muscles, less visceral fat, yet still plenty of subcutaneous fat making me femininely curvy. But as I am I have knee, ankle and shoulder issues; get distressed in hot weather; and have pre-diabetes which is putting me on the path to lots of horrible complications. So, what is the optimal diet for me?
Who knows?
There doesn't seem to be a lot of agreement about it. And even where there is agreement about what is best, some people argue you can -- nay should -- have a certain level of bad food so that you don't feel deprived and can stick to the diet forever.
For lunch today I had leftover roast from last night. Three thin slices of rare beef, one small piece of potato, tiny onion, one floret of broccoli. And half a cucumber. Well, excellent, yes? Natural meat and plenty of different types of vegetable. But most of it had been cooked with oil. Bad? Olive oil. Good? I put salt on everything. Bad. Too much meat (maybe 100g)? Not enough carbs? Too many?Evil potato, even in a two-mouthful quantity? No dairy included. Bad? Good? At least I know there was no added sugar.
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Sugar
Wednesday:This morning I refilled the little sugar pot I use for my tea. I never feel like I am having a lot of sugar (I know it is in a lot of processed foods, but I don't drink soda and rarely have sweets); a teaspoon in my tea once or twice a day. But as I poured the white crystals into the pretty container I realised that I empty that little sugar pot on a regular basis. Seen in bulk, like that, it's a lot of sugar!
It is my birthday next Monday. I have made no plans for any kind of party or celebration, mainly because I've been so unwell. I don't think Tim or the kids have done any present shopping yet (although I know they will). Nothing feels birthday-ish. Some people do a birthday week or even a month. I just want a nice day.
I could go out to lunch with Tim. I could invite some people over on Sunday for a casual afternoon tea. I could cook something special for dinner. I think I will do all those. What else can I do next Monday to have a lovely day?
Of course what I want most in the world at the moment is to feel healthy! I'm getting there. I was worse yesterday; with neck glands swollen up like mushrooms, alternate chills and sweats, a hazy feeling almost like delirium. Everything tasted wrong and horrible, even hot chocolate. I thought I was going to sink lower into sickness. But this morning I felt much better. I am blowing my nose a lot and coughing up phlegm (yuck) but it feels like my body is just trying to expell the final germs. I am going to be very careful with myself to avoid a relapse, but I am hopeful.
My weight these past few weeks has gone up and down like a chiuahua on a trampoline as I go between comfort eating and hardly eating at all. I have no idea where it will end up on Friday for my official weigh-in. I need to join the gym this week if I want their special deal. I plan to (finally) take the kids to Club Gecko this afternoon -- I won't exercise today, I'll just watch, but I can join the gym while I'm there. Jasmine has been waiting so long to try this kids' exercise class.
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