Saturday:
This morning I got up around 6:30 to take Thor out, then spent some time with him and also tidied the house. At around 9:30 the buyers came, we all approved of each other and they took Thor away with them. Both adults work from home and there are two children a little older than mine, plus two cats. They asked lots of questions, which I found reassuring, I'm sure he's gone to a good home. They also invited us to visit whenever we liked.
I feel a bit sad, but also relieved. Not so much that he is gone, but that the dissonance between deciding to sell him and actually having him leave is over. It only took 48 hours, which was good for me, because I am always uncomfortable in the space between knowing something will happen and it actually happening. I didn't get a lot of sleep last night.
It's my guilt-free eat-what-I-like day! I am planning a favourite not-as-healthy dinner and dessert. And some chocolate. And I didn't have any vegetables with breakfast - what a rebel! But I am not going to binge all day. I don't want to undo all the good work, and anyway I bet it would just make me feel sick. But individual passionfruit cheesecake for dessert? Yum! The tricky part is not feeling guilty about it.
Showing posts with label thor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label thor. Show all posts
Friday, September 5, 2014
Thursday, September 4, 2014
Carb cycle weigh in
Friday:
Today is my official weigh in day even though it has only been five days. I assume they want weigh in to be after a low carb day so it's at your lowest point for the week - today is high carb and tomorrow is my free day so my weight could well go up a bit by Sunday. I think there is a fair bit of fluctuation with carb cycling as you retain a lot more water on the higher carb days. As long as I weigh in the same day every week it should give the general pattern.
Starting weight (last Sunday): 82.6 kg
Today (5 days of cycling): 80.7 kg
I lost 1.9 kg! Yay. That is so awesome. I've felt for the past couple of days that my pants have been a little bit looser. Soon I will be under 80. Weight loss is so motivating.
I've eaten so many vegetables and no junk. Five days with no junk is a big deal for me. I certainly haven't been going hungry with all that protein and fibre, and I know that I have a treat day on Saturday so I don't feel deprived.
I put up an ad online this morning, to sell Thor. I had an inquiry within an hour! I wasn't expecting that. They are coming here tomorrow morning to meet Thor and, all going well, they will take him then. I have very mixed feelings, but I know that it is best for my situation right now. I had two more inquiries before I took the ad down, so I've got the phone number of the second one for if the first one falls through. All three callers had kids and other pets, so I'm sure he's going to be fine. I hope he doesn't chase the cats - for his benefit more than theirs, I'm sure he'd get a nasty swipe on the nose.
We had a brisk walk after lunch trying to beat the closing weather. Only got a few drops of rain. Before that I had a little jump on our trampoline and I put Thor up with me. He loved it. I was only boinging gently and he was sliding around wagging his tail and barking happily. But I had a lot of trouble getting him off again - he didn't want to! I had a trampoline as a child, although I remember more sitting on it chatting to friends as a teenager than actually jumping, especially in summer when we put a big puddle of water on it to sit in. It must have been waterproof, back then, because it would stretch down into quite a deep pool. I've hardly ever used the trampoline we have now. It is very tiring on the calves, as an unfit adult. A little bounce is fun, though. I'm sure the weave is looser, so water goes straight through it. Tim hoses the kids while they jump, on hot days. Aiden uses it nearly every day after school.
I didn't take photos today; but I had eggs & toast, salad veggies and tea for breakfast; cheese, a tangelo (cross between a mandarin and a grapefruit), cucumber and carrot for morning tea; tacos for lunch; yoghurt with raspberries, beetroot and tea for my afternoon snack; and I will be having lemon chicken, potato, onion, broccoli, asparagus and snow peas for dinner. I'm sure it was too much fat for a high carb day, but I'm trying to keep it down.
I had a good sleep last night, didn't wake until 6:40, and Tim got up so I got to stay in bed a bit longer. I felt much better. Although I did doze off while waiting for the kids to get home! It will take me more than one good night to catch up. But a good day.
Today is my official weigh in day even though it has only been five days. I assume they want weigh in to be after a low carb day so it's at your lowest point for the week - today is high carb and tomorrow is my free day so my weight could well go up a bit by Sunday. I think there is a fair bit of fluctuation with carb cycling as you retain a lot more water on the higher carb days. As long as I weigh in the same day every week it should give the general pattern.
Starting weight (last Sunday): 82.6 kg
Today (5 days of cycling): 80.7 kg
I lost 1.9 kg! Yay. That is so awesome. I've felt for the past couple of days that my pants have been a little bit looser. Soon I will be under 80. Weight loss is so motivating.
I've eaten so many vegetables and no junk. Five days with no junk is a big deal for me. I certainly haven't been going hungry with all that protein and fibre, and I know that I have a treat day on Saturday so I don't feel deprived.
I put up an ad online this morning, to sell Thor. I had an inquiry within an hour! I wasn't expecting that. They are coming here tomorrow morning to meet Thor and, all going well, they will take him then. I have very mixed feelings, but I know that it is best for my situation right now. I had two more inquiries before I took the ad down, so I've got the phone number of the second one for if the first one falls through. All three callers had kids and other pets, so I'm sure he's going to be fine. I hope he doesn't chase the cats - for his benefit more than theirs, I'm sure he'd get a nasty swipe on the nose.
We had a brisk walk after lunch trying to beat the closing weather. Only got a few drops of rain. Before that I had a little jump on our trampoline and I put Thor up with me. He loved it. I was only boinging gently and he was sliding around wagging his tail and barking happily. But I had a lot of trouble getting him off again - he didn't want to! I had a trampoline as a child, although I remember more sitting on it chatting to friends as a teenager than actually jumping, especially in summer when we put a big puddle of water on it to sit in. It must have been waterproof, back then, because it would stretch down into quite a deep pool. I've hardly ever used the trampoline we have now. It is very tiring on the calves, as an unfit adult. A little bounce is fun, though. I'm sure the weave is looser, so water goes straight through it. Tim hoses the kids while they jump, on hot days. Aiden uses it nearly every day after school.
I didn't take photos today; but I had eggs & toast, salad veggies and tea for breakfast; cheese, a tangelo (cross between a mandarin and a grapefruit), cucumber and carrot for morning tea; tacos for lunch; yoghurt with raspberries, beetroot and tea for my afternoon snack; and I will be having lemon chicken, potato, onion, broccoli, asparagus and snow peas for dinner. I'm sure it was too much fat for a high carb day, but I'm trying to keep it down.
I had a good sleep last night, didn't wake until 6:40, and Tim got up so I got to stay in bed a bit longer. I felt much better. Although I did doze off while waiting for the kids to get home! It will take me more than one good night to catch up. But a good day.
Wednesday, September 3, 2014
Why we are selling our dog
Thursday:
This has been a big decision that I've been thinking about for quite a while. Getting up at the crack of dawn this morning did push me over the edge but it wasn't a snap decision at all, it's a very considered one.
Reasons for keeping Thor:
1) He is cute and I like watching TV with him on my lap
2) Jasmine will cry when we sell him
Reasons for selling Thor
1) I have sleep apnoea and being woken an hour and a half early every day is no trivial matter. My husband and I take turns getting up, but we are both woken every time. I am not good at getting back to sleep. I am tired all the time and that makes every day a struggle. I am cranky and not enjoying my life as much as I should. It's not good for my health or my weight. And Tim, usually much more robust that me, is tired all the time too and dreads getting up just as much as I do. He works long hours and doesn't have the luxury of a daytime nap like I do when I get desperate.
2) He was supposed to make me less lonely but he actually increases my isolation. I don't like leaving him alone for long periods but you can't take a dog anywhere. I am at home all the time now instead of out writing in cafes.
3) Walking a dog is good exercise and motivation to get out of the house. But I can't walk to the shops or to the library or to anywhere. He would never cope with being tied up outside, he is frantic if I go inside somewhere even if Tim is with him waiting outside. I'm not even allowed on the school grounds with him any more. We walk in a loop then come back home. He is a reason against joining the gym because he would be home alone another two hours every day, on top of essential trips I already make. Yes he is probably spoilt, but he is very much a people dog and doesn't like being alone.
4) Visiting family four hours away is a huge hassle. We have to either pay a lot of money for a boarding kennel (very expensive here) and then worry about him being outside when he is an inside dog used to the company of humans all day, and nervous about other dogs (or pay twice as much for exclusive pampered inside accommodation), or take him with us. My brother in law has a toddler so I have to watch Thor every second, and my mum is allergic to dogs. She has breast and bone cancer and I want to visit her more often but it is so difficult at the moment.
5) We can't holiday at any of our favourite places, unless we do the boarding kennel thing for week. We usually fly to Queensland to the beach and theme parks but can't do that with a dog. We were planning to find dog-friendly holidays nearer to us but it is just one more thing.
6) We want to travel overseas soon for several months. What do we do then?
7) I hate standing outside in the cold and dark and rain (and in summer no doubt the heat) waiting for him to kill the grass some more.
8) Our kids' rooms are not safe for him to go in due to Lego and other small toys so we have to keep the doors closed all the time and I always have to watch that he doesn't eat anything he shouldn't. Outside he always tries to eat poo. Inside, used tissues are a favourite. Or books.
It isn't any one of these things, I'd be able to deal with one or two. It's all of them together, for not much benefit. We are all fond of him, we have had him for nearly three months after all and he is a very nice little puppy, but Jasmine was the only one really unhappy about the decision to sell him. I feel a bit guilty but I'll find him a good home. It will make my life much easier. And surely he will be happier spending all day with someone who doesn't resent him half the time? I guess I just wasn't ready for the lifestyle change - it was bigger than I expected.
So today I am going to start the process.
This has been a big decision that I've been thinking about for quite a while. Getting up at the crack of dawn this morning did push me over the edge but it wasn't a snap decision at all, it's a very considered one.
Reasons for keeping Thor:
1) He is cute and I like watching TV with him on my lap
2) Jasmine will cry when we sell him
Reasons for selling Thor
1) I have sleep apnoea and being woken an hour and a half early every day is no trivial matter. My husband and I take turns getting up, but we are both woken every time. I am not good at getting back to sleep. I am tired all the time and that makes every day a struggle. I am cranky and not enjoying my life as much as I should. It's not good for my health or my weight. And Tim, usually much more robust that me, is tired all the time too and dreads getting up just as much as I do. He works long hours and doesn't have the luxury of a daytime nap like I do when I get desperate.
2) He was supposed to make me less lonely but he actually increases my isolation. I don't like leaving him alone for long periods but you can't take a dog anywhere. I am at home all the time now instead of out writing in cafes.
3) Walking a dog is good exercise and motivation to get out of the house. But I can't walk to the shops or to the library or to anywhere. He would never cope with being tied up outside, he is frantic if I go inside somewhere even if Tim is with him waiting outside. I'm not even allowed on the school grounds with him any more. We walk in a loop then come back home. He is a reason against joining the gym because he would be home alone another two hours every day, on top of essential trips I already make. Yes he is probably spoilt, but he is very much a people dog and doesn't like being alone.
4) Visiting family four hours away is a huge hassle. We have to either pay a lot of money for a boarding kennel (very expensive here) and then worry about him being outside when he is an inside dog used to the company of humans all day, and nervous about other dogs (or pay twice as much for exclusive pampered inside accommodation), or take him with us. My brother in law has a toddler so I have to watch Thor every second, and my mum is allergic to dogs. She has breast and bone cancer and I want to visit her more often but it is so difficult at the moment.
5) We can't holiday at any of our favourite places, unless we do the boarding kennel thing for week. We usually fly to Queensland to the beach and theme parks but can't do that with a dog. We were planning to find dog-friendly holidays nearer to us but it is just one more thing.
6) We want to travel overseas soon for several months. What do we do then?
7) I hate standing outside in the cold and dark and rain (and in summer no doubt the heat) waiting for him to kill the grass some more.
8) Our kids' rooms are not safe for him to go in due to Lego and other small toys so we have to keep the doors closed all the time and I always have to watch that he doesn't eat anything he shouldn't. Outside he always tries to eat poo. Inside, used tissues are a favourite. Or books.
It isn't any one of these things, I'd be able to deal with one or two. It's all of them together, for not much benefit. We are all fond of him, we have had him for nearly three months after all and he is a very nice little puppy, but Jasmine was the only one really unhappy about the decision to sell him. I feel a bit guilty but I'll find him a good home. It will make my life much easier. And surely he will be happier spending all day with someone who doesn't resent him half the time? I guess I just wasn't ready for the lifestyle change - it was bigger than I expected.
So today I am going to start the process.
Sunday, August 24, 2014
Magic
Monday:
This weekend we introduced the kids to the card game Magic: The Gathering. It's one of the many geeky things my husband introduced me to, along with Dungeons and Dragons and the computer game World of Warcraft. We used to play Magic a lot when we were first going out. Since we lived eight hours drive apart, we even played over the phone! You each have your own deck, so as long as you trust the other person to be honest about what cards they have, you can do that. It's a collectable card game and we have hundreds of cards, plenty for the kids to make their own decks.
It was a perfect demonstration of my children's personality types. Jasmine sat with me for an hour sorting cards and taking my advice to create a balanced deck. Aiden randomly grabbed whichever cards looked good. His needed a bit of tweaking to make it playable!
I did not stick to carb cycling or any other diet this week, or exercise much. I just ate. This morning I weighed in at 82.5 kg, up again. My main excuse is lack of sleep driving me to want fatty sugary food to keep me awake. Thor has suddenly started waking much earlier, presumably because it is getting light earlier but it's still a big jump. Tim and I take it in turns to get up to let him out and we both dread it. I'm already sleep deprived but even Tim is walking around with dark circles under his eyes. We're getting up nearly an hour and a half before we otherwise would (and on weekends don't get to sleep in). And of course the other person is woken by Thor's banging on his door (he sleeps in the bathroom) even if they don't have to get up. I know some people thrive on getting up at the crack of dawn, or hate it at first but get used to it. But I've tried it before and continue to hate it forever. And Tim is definitely a night owl, not a lark. Maybe we can pin a blanket over the venetian blinds to keep it dark longer in there so he sleeps? I've been doing a fair bit of napping in the afternoons, on the lounge with Thor draped over me. It keeps me going.
That is my excuse, but I know that I have to put on my big girl panties (as I've heard it expressed) and get on with my life regardless. I can be sleep deprived and fat, or sleep deprived and a healthy weight.
This week is going to be particularly challenging. Jasmine's big dance concert is on Saturday night and she has rehearsal every day after school, often until late. And Tim and the kids also have a karate grading assessment. And Jasmine also has two band performances (trumpet) and a dance performance at school that Tim & I will split between us. She's going to be exhausted! She's like me, too, a very poor sleeper. What all this means for my diet is that I'll be trying to juggle making healthy meals with driving back and forth and sitting around at the dance studio, and having dinner really early or late. I'll be making casseroles every night, I think! Then I can put it on at lunch time and have hot food ready even if I haven't been home to cook it. It's less tempting to get take away if you know food is already ready at home. I'll also be up at the school at lunchtime a couple of days.
It's only a week until spring and we've had a few lovely days already. Floriade must be soon, our annual flower festival. A whole big park by the lake is filled with tulips and hyacinths and other spring bulbs and flowers, it is quite a tourist attraction. I am so looking forward to that! I don't think dogs are allowed, which is a shame, but it's a lovely place to sit and read or walk around. -- I just looked it up and dogs are not allowed, except they are having one "Dogs Day Out" for RSPCA. I'm not sure how Thor would cope with a whole park full of dogs! He's a bit scared of them. I'll see how he's going at that point. It's around then that we start puppy preschool class with him, the current session was already full when I enquired so we had to wait. So he's not really socialised with other dogs yet. They are all so much bigger than him.
Here is Thor being a good dog at the dinner table:
and being a wily predator:
This weekend we introduced the kids to the card game Magic: The Gathering. It's one of the many geeky things my husband introduced me to, along with Dungeons and Dragons and the computer game World of Warcraft. We used to play Magic a lot when we were first going out. Since we lived eight hours drive apart, we even played over the phone! You each have your own deck, so as long as you trust the other person to be honest about what cards they have, you can do that. It's a collectable card game and we have hundreds of cards, plenty for the kids to make their own decks.
It was a perfect demonstration of my children's personality types. Jasmine sat with me for an hour sorting cards and taking my advice to create a balanced deck. Aiden randomly grabbed whichever cards looked good. His needed a bit of tweaking to make it playable!
I did not stick to carb cycling or any other diet this week, or exercise much. I just ate. This morning I weighed in at 82.5 kg, up again. My main excuse is lack of sleep driving me to want fatty sugary food to keep me awake. Thor has suddenly started waking much earlier, presumably because it is getting light earlier but it's still a big jump. Tim and I take it in turns to get up to let him out and we both dread it. I'm already sleep deprived but even Tim is walking around with dark circles under his eyes. We're getting up nearly an hour and a half before we otherwise would (and on weekends don't get to sleep in). And of course the other person is woken by Thor's banging on his door (he sleeps in the bathroom) even if they don't have to get up. I know some people thrive on getting up at the crack of dawn, or hate it at first but get used to it. But I've tried it before and continue to hate it forever. And Tim is definitely a night owl, not a lark. Maybe we can pin a blanket over the venetian blinds to keep it dark longer in there so he sleeps? I've been doing a fair bit of napping in the afternoons, on the lounge with Thor draped over me. It keeps me going.
That is my excuse, but I know that I have to put on my big girl panties (as I've heard it expressed) and get on with my life regardless. I can be sleep deprived and fat, or sleep deprived and a healthy weight.
This week is going to be particularly challenging. Jasmine's big dance concert is on Saturday night and she has rehearsal every day after school, often until late. And Tim and the kids also have a karate grading assessment. And Jasmine also has two band performances (trumpet) and a dance performance at school that Tim & I will split between us. She's going to be exhausted! She's like me, too, a very poor sleeper. What all this means for my diet is that I'll be trying to juggle making healthy meals with driving back and forth and sitting around at the dance studio, and having dinner really early or late. I'll be making casseroles every night, I think! Then I can put it on at lunch time and have hot food ready even if I haven't been home to cook it. It's less tempting to get take away if you know food is already ready at home. I'll also be up at the school at lunchtime a couple of days.
It's only a week until spring and we've had a few lovely days already. Floriade must be soon, our annual flower festival. A whole big park by the lake is filled with tulips and hyacinths and other spring bulbs and flowers, it is quite a tourist attraction. I am so looking forward to that! I don't think dogs are allowed, which is a shame, but it's a lovely place to sit and read or walk around. -- I just looked it up and dogs are not allowed, except they are having one "Dogs Day Out" for RSPCA. I'm not sure how Thor would cope with a whole park full of dogs! He's a bit scared of them. I'll see how he's going at that point. It's around then that we start puppy preschool class with him, the current session was already full when I enquired so we had to wait. So he's not really socialised with other dogs yet. They are all so much bigger than him.
Here is Thor being a good dog at the dinner table:
and being a wily predator:
Tuesday, July 29, 2014
Caramel pie and napping
Wednesday:
I'm going to put a positive spin on a negative action. Yesterday at the usual games night I had carefully planned what I was going to eat for my extra 200 calorie treat but then someone brought a caramel pie. I knew it would be super sweet and not really my kind of thing, not on my plan and not special enough to make an exception for, and probably a million calories (I had no way of knowing) so I declined. But then a slice was cut and put in front of me and I decided to try it. It was very sweet but pretty nice, so over the next couple of hours I slowly nibbled at the whole slice.
I am not justifying this decision, it was a bad one. But here is the good bit. I haven't done a diabetes test for a while, the doctor said I didn't need the official one yet and I don't test myself at home regularly. I thought all that sugar would sent my glucose levels sky high. But I tested myself and it was 6.9 mmol/L, completely normal! It's not a definitive test under controlled conditions, but it is a pretty good indicator that my pre-diabetes is under control. As long as I keep eating healthily most of the time, I think I'll continue to improve and who knows, maybe next year the test will show I'm back to normal.
The other bad bit is increased cravings this morning. Bitterly cold day doesn't help.
I read and commented on a couple of short stories this morning and did a little bit of my own writing, then could hear that the women's gymnastics was showing on TV as part of the Commonwealth Games, one of my favourite sports to watch. My son used to do gymnastics until they tried to push him from three afternoons a week up to four. Too much for a then-six year old. Maybe he was showing promise but he got sick of the whole thing. His Russian coach was pretty shouty, too.
I get confused between artistic gymnastics and rhythmic gymnastics because they both sound dance-y, but this was the athletic one with beam and swinging around bars and all that (artistic gymnastics, I think), not the slightly less athletic-looking one with ribbons and balls. But that one is still pretty athletic. Anyway, they said that Australia had hopes of a gold medal in the team event. So I sat down to watch with the puppy on my lap. And went to sleep for 40 mins. It was still going when I woke up but we had dropped to a probably-silver (which we got). I watched the end while I had lunch. I was a bit cranky I had slept through most of it.
Unless it is actually raining, Thor's lunch is a chicken neck or two (depending on size) which he eats outside. He's mostly given up trying to bring them inside, banging on the back door with a bone in his mouth. I don't stay out with him, but he finishes so fast that I was getting worried the bones were being stolen by the local currawongs (bird similar to a crow), Aiden did see it happen one time out the window. Today I started to walk away and heard currawong calls so went back. Thor was standing guard and two birds were watching from out roof. I stood over him while he ate, but he crunched them down unbelievably fast - without even seeming to chew half of it - so I still don't know if they have been stolen in the past or if he just inhales them.
My tiredness isn't just making me miss TV. My husband is taking a week off work soon and I can't think of anything I want to do other than stay home. Jasmine has frequent rehearsals for an upcoming dance concert, but we could take a few days. Of course having a young puppy makes going away difficult, and we'd have to go a long way to get away from the cold, but I think problems wouldn't seem so insurmountable if I had some energy. Travelling, and uncomfortable beds, and deciding what to do with Thor, and being away from home, it all just seems too difficult and unappealing.
I often write these posts in stages throughout the day as inspiration hits or to avoid working. During that last paragraph I guess I was feeling a bit down, and that the morning had been very unproductive. But after that I put my head down and got a decent session of writing done and then I took Thor out for a good brisk walk - my leg hurt again but not as much - and now I feel a lot better. Writing and exercise are my two big priorities each day and if I get them done I feel good about myself. If I don't I feel guilty. I love ticking off the boxes on my to do list.
I'm going to put a positive spin on a negative action. Yesterday at the usual games night I had carefully planned what I was going to eat for my extra 200 calorie treat but then someone brought a caramel pie. I knew it would be super sweet and not really my kind of thing, not on my plan and not special enough to make an exception for, and probably a million calories (I had no way of knowing) so I declined. But then a slice was cut and put in front of me and I decided to try it. It was very sweet but pretty nice, so over the next couple of hours I slowly nibbled at the whole slice.
I am not justifying this decision, it was a bad one. But here is the good bit. I haven't done a diabetes test for a while, the doctor said I didn't need the official one yet and I don't test myself at home regularly. I thought all that sugar would sent my glucose levels sky high. But I tested myself and it was 6.9 mmol/L, completely normal! It's not a definitive test under controlled conditions, but it is a pretty good indicator that my pre-diabetes is under control. As long as I keep eating healthily most of the time, I think I'll continue to improve and who knows, maybe next year the test will show I'm back to normal.
The other bad bit is increased cravings this morning. Bitterly cold day doesn't help.
I read and commented on a couple of short stories this morning and did a little bit of my own writing, then could hear that the women's gymnastics was showing on TV as part of the Commonwealth Games, one of my favourite sports to watch. My son used to do gymnastics until they tried to push him from three afternoons a week up to four. Too much for a then-six year old. Maybe he was showing promise but he got sick of the whole thing. His Russian coach was pretty shouty, too.
I get confused between artistic gymnastics and rhythmic gymnastics because they both sound dance-y, but this was the athletic one with beam and swinging around bars and all that (artistic gymnastics, I think), not the slightly less athletic-looking one with ribbons and balls. But that one is still pretty athletic. Anyway, they said that Australia had hopes of a gold medal in the team event. So I sat down to watch with the puppy on my lap. And went to sleep for 40 mins. It was still going when I woke up but we had dropped to a probably-silver (which we got). I watched the end while I had lunch. I was a bit cranky I had slept through most of it.
Unless it is actually raining, Thor's lunch is a chicken neck or two (depending on size) which he eats outside. He's mostly given up trying to bring them inside, banging on the back door with a bone in his mouth. I don't stay out with him, but he finishes so fast that I was getting worried the bones were being stolen by the local currawongs (bird similar to a crow), Aiden did see it happen one time out the window. Today I started to walk away and heard currawong calls so went back. Thor was standing guard and two birds were watching from out roof. I stood over him while he ate, but he crunched them down unbelievably fast - without even seeming to chew half of it - so I still don't know if they have been stolen in the past or if he just inhales them.
My tiredness isn't just making me miss TV. My husband is taking a week off work soon and I can't think of anything I want to do other than stay home. Jasmine has frequent rehearsals for an upcoming dance concert, but we could take a few days. Of course having a young puppy makes going away difficult, and we'd have to go a long way to get away from the cold, but I think problems wouldn't seem so insurmountable if I had some energy. Travelling, and uncomfortable beds, and deciding what to do with Thor, and being away from home, it all just seems too difficult and unappealing.
I often write these posts in stages throughout the day as inspiration hits or to avoid working. During that last paragraph I guess I was feeling a bit down, and that the morning had been very unproductive. But after that I put my head down and got a decent session of writing done and then I took Thor out for a good brisk walk - my leg hurt again but not as much - and now I feel a lot better. Writing and exercise are my two big priorities each day and if I get them done I feel good about myself. If I don't I feel guilty. I love ticking off the boxes on my to do list.
Monday, July 28, 2014
Yay for Monday
Monday:
I can't say that Mondays are my favourite day of the week, but they are excellent as a dieter. On Monday morning you can put the slightly indulgent weekend behind you and refresh. Not that I was particularly bad on the weekend - an extra bit here and there - but Monday always has the whole "new week" vibe that washes any past sins away.
I also do my main grocery shopping trip on Mondays, so it's an excellent opportunity to restock fresh healthy foods, without any "I'll grab this for the weekend" (not for me, of course not, for Tim and the kids) temptation.
So today was mainly grocery shopping and spending time with Thor and numerous little jobs that build up - like organising for a tree to be trimmed because the electricity company says it's getting to close to power lines. And passing on feedback to the publishers on a proof copy of a novel that is due to come out in a few months.
While at the shops I saw a neighbour friend and we had a chat in the cheese aisle - as she said it was the longest we'd got to talk for months! We've always been friends but life gets busy with children of various ages. Her youngest must have been in childcare, there was no little person in her trolley demanding attention. So it was nice to catch up. She also expressed openness to doing some puppy minding if needed (maybe not for a whole weekend yet, but for a few hours) so that is good for the future. Family want us to visit again already! But I am feeling very resistant to the long trip again so soon.
As usual we went for a short walk in the morning, just up to the school, and a longer walk in the afternoon. He still walks very fast and pulls me along, and again I got a cramp in my leg. Maybe I need to stretch and warm up before we go! No way I can get him to start slow, not without cruelty. He's slowly learning, but the first five minutes are always like he can smell roast chicken down the road. Part of the time we were going 6 km/h. I did 7000 steps today, so clearly a couple of walks isn't enough when I am sitting for the rest of the day. Something to work on.
I can't say that Mondays are my favourite day of the week, but they are excellent as a dieter. On Monday morning you can put the slightly indulgent weekend behind you and refresh. Not that I was particularly bad on the weekend - an extra bit here and there - but Monday always has the whole "new week" vibe that washes any past sins away.
I also do my main grocery shopping trip on Mondays, so it's an excellent opportunity to restock fresh healthy foods, without any "I'll grab this for the weekend" (not for me, of course not, for Tim and the kids) temptation.
So today was mainly grocery shopping and spending time with Thor and numerous little jobs that build up - like organising for a tree to be trimmed because the electricity company says it's getting to close to power lines. And passing on feedback to the publishers on a proof copy of a novel that is due to come out in a few months.
While at the shops I saw a neighbour friend and we had a chat in the cheese aisle - as she said it was the longest we'd got to talk for months! We've always been friends but life gets busy with children of various ages. Her youngest must have been in childcare, there was no little person in her trolley demanding attention. So it was nice to catch up. She also expressed openness to doing some puppy minding if needed (maybe not for a whole weekend yet, but for a few hours) so that is good for the future. Family want us to visit again already! But I am feeling very resistant to the long trip again so soon.
As usual we went for a short walk in the morning, just up to the school, and a longer walk in the afternoon. He still walks very fast and pulls me along, and again I got a cramp in my leg. Maybe I need to stretch and warm up before we go! No way I can get him to start slow, not without cruelty. He's slowly learning, but the first five minutes are always like he can smell roast chicken down the road. Part of the time we were going 6 km/h. I did 7000 steps today, so clearly a couple of walks isn't enough when I am sitting for the rest of the day. Something to work on.
Sunday, July 20, 2014
Landing on donuts
Sunday:
These past two weeks I feel like I've been slowly slipping away from my diet, and this weekend I went right over the edge of the cliff and landed on a pile of donuts. We went and visited family which means eating at other people's houses and also fast food on the road trip there. And donuts. And a late birthday cake with my mother. And roast duck, which is mostly skin and fat. I wallowed in everything.
But from tomorrow I have no more excuses. The kids will be back at school and my husband back at work (he had most of this week off) and I will get back into my routine and stay there. And be firmly enough in it that a slight change in circumstances won't derail me.
Taking Thor with us worked out ok. It was a problem we debated for a while. I used to put my previous dog in a boarding kennel when I travelled, but she was a sturdy outdoor dog (a collie, just like Lassie) who was used to being alone while I was at work. Thor is with people all day, and still only a puppy. And it is freezing here and he is used to being inside. It meant lots of time stuck in the car, and he was car-sick twice, but at least he was with us. He was very popular with my husband's family, where we stayed the night. My mum is allergic to dogs and doesn't like them, so he sat outside the back door at her place and stared in at us through the glass doors. But one of the kids was out with him most of the time. He is very glad to be home and went psycho with happiness.
Aside from diet issues and paying constant attention to making sure Thor didn't have an accident on someone else's floor or jump up on a toddler, it was a good weekend. Got to see lots of family and have a chat with my mum and see my sister-in-law who is having an operation tomorrow.
I spend time on the long drive thinking about the novel I am writing, and as usual I came up with some solutions to problems and ideas about what will happen next. I can get back into writing tomorrow, as well as refocusing on healthy eating.
These past two weeks I feel like I've been slowly slipping away from my diet, and this weekend I went right over the edge of the cliff and landed on a pile of donuts. We went and visited family which means eating at other people's houses and also fast food on the road trip there. And donuts. And a late birthday cake with my mother. And roast duck, which is mostly skin and fat. I wallowed in everything.
But from tomorrow I have no more excuses. The kids will be back at school and my husband back at work (he had most of this week off) and I will get back into my routine and stay there. And be firmly enough in it that a slight change in circumstances won't derail me.
Taking Thor with us worked out ok. It was a problem we debated for a while. I used to put my previous dog in a boarding kennel when I travelled, but she was a sturdy outdoor dog (a collie, just like Lassie) who was used to being alone while I was at work. Thor is with people all day, and still only a puppy. And it is freezing here and he is used to being inside. It meant lots of time stuck in the car, and he was car-sick twice, but at least he was with us. He was very popular with my husband's family, where we stayed the night. My mum is allergic to dogs and doesn't like them, so he sat outside the back door at her place and stared in at us through the glass doors. But one of the kids was out with him most of the time. He is very glad to be home and went psycho with happiness.
Aside from diet issues and paying constant attention to making sure Thor didn't have an accident on someone else's floor or jump up on a toddler, it was a good weekend. Got to see lots of family and have a chat with my mum and see my sister-in-law who is having an operation tomorrow.
I spend time on the long drive thinking about the novel I am writing, and as usual I came up with some solutions to problems and ideas about what will happen next. I can get back into writing tomorrow, as well as refocusing on healthy eating.
Saturday, July 12, 2014
Flip out
Sunday:
I think I've found the reason for my inexplicable blood sugar drop yesterday, and my aching back and leg last night. I woke this morning (after my turn to sleep in! lovely) with a headache and sore throat, and my body feels tired and achy. So I am fighting off a virus and my body is having trouble keeping everything in balance. I don't feel too bad, but it's a good day to sit at home and rest.
Tim and the kids took Thor for his walk without me and are now at a new local attraction "flip out" which is a warehouse with trampolines all over the floor and up the walls, like a giant jumping castle. You can bound from one to the next all over the room and flip off the walls. A lot of their friends have already been. It looks great on the website, and I'm sure they'll have a lot of fun. But I'll stick to playing a computer game, for today.
Little update on the puppy; he always sleeps through the night now, and puts himself to bed in the evening when he gets tired instead of lying on my lap or on the lounge until I put him to bed. He just wanders up to the bathroom and climbs into his "Cosy Clam". He is mostly housetrained, he still probably has one accident a day if we aren't paying attention to him hanging around the back door. He needs to learn to bark or bang on the door like he does when he wants to come in again! We're getting the carpet cleaned this week. He knows how to sit and nearly always does on voice command, he also knows what "outside" means. He is still getting used to being on the lead and pulls the whole time which is tiring for us and makes him wheeze horribly, I'll start proper training in a week when the kids are back at school and I have his whole attention. He is a lovely, cuddly little dog.
I think I've found the reason for my inexplicable blood sugar drop yesterday, and my aching back and leg last night. I woke this morning (after my turn to sleep in! lovely) with a headache and sore throat, and my body feels tired and achy. So I am fighting off a virus and my body is having trouble keeping everything in balance. I don't feel too bad, but it's a good day to sit at home and rest.
Tim and the kids took Thor for his walk without me and are now at a new local attraction "flip out" which is a warehouse with trampolines all over the floor and up the walls, like a giant jumping castle. You can bound from one to the next all over the room and flip off the walls. A lot of their friends have already been. It looks great on the website, and I'm sure they'll have a lot of fun. But I'll stick to playing a computer game, for today.
Little update on the puppy; he always sleeps through the night now, and puts himself to bed in the evening when he gets tired instead of lying on my lap or on the lounge until I put him to bed. He just wanders up to the bathroom and climbs into his "Cosy Clam". He is mostly housetrained, he still probably has one accident a day if we aren't paying attention to him hanging around the back door. He needs to learn to bark or bang on the door like he does when he wants to come in again! We're getting the carpet cleaned this week. He knows how to sit and nearly always does on voice command, he also knows what "outside" means. He is still getting used to being on the lead and pulls the whole time which is tiring for us and makes him wheeze horribly, I'll start proper training in a week when the kids are back at school and I have his whole attention. He is a lovely, cuddly little dog.
Friday, July 4, 2014
Another good day
Friday:
A very good day. I may have spent quite a lot of it playing the computer game I got for my birthday... well it was fun! I had a great night sleep last night which made me feel much better, my calories were good, I did half an hour walking (with Thor, who strides out strongly) and half an hour dancing.
Apart from that, well I gave Thor a bath. He smells a lot less doggy now. He walked with me to the school to pick up the kids, first time for him, and he got so much attention! He loved the kids, a bit nervous about the other dog there.
It was the last day of term, so now we have two weeks school holidays. I hadn't really thought about that until just now in terms of food. I'll have to be careful to manage my eating, outside my usual routine of being home alone a lot of the day. But it's not like I get a lot of junk for the kids. Just sometimes we might go to fast food after being out somewhere, or something unhealthy at the movies. I'll have to work around that. Actually, I often seem to be "on a diet" during school holidays because I always seem to be sneaking a little bag of almonds or something into the movies!
A very good day. I may have spent quite a lot of it playing the computer game I got for my birthday... well it was fun! I had a great night sleep last night which made me feel much better, my calories were good, I did half an hour walking (with Thor, who strides out strongly) and half an hour dancing.
Apart from that, well I gave Thor a bath. He smells a lot less doggy now. He walked with me to the school to pick up the kids, first time for him, and he got so much attention! He loved the kids, a bit nervous about the other dog there.
It was the last day of term, so now we have two weeks school holidays. I hadn't really thought about that until just now in terms of food. I'll have to be careful to manage my eating, outside my usual routine of being home alone a lot of the day. But it's not like I get a lot of junk for the kids. Just sometimes we might go to fast food after being out somewhere, or something unhealthy at the movies. I'll have to work around that. Actually, I often seem to be "on a diet" during school holidays because I always seem to be sneaking a little bag of almonds or something into the movies!
Wednesday, June 25, 2014
Weigh in Thursday
Thursday:
Starting weight: 85.3 kg
Last week: 81.9
This week: 81.4
Loss: 0.5
Total loss: 3.9 kg
I lost half a kilogram this week, and I am very happy with that. I really wasn't expecting a loss at all. I guess not turning to food when stressed really helps! Half a kilogram is a good steady loss.
I took Thor to the vet this morning for his final immunisation shots (and some drops in his nose!) This time the vet said 7-10 days, and then that a week is ok, so he'll be able to walk the kids to school with me on the last day of term next Friday. Just in time for the school holidays. Yay, only a week until we can go out for walks and to the park! And last night he only woke once, nearly 6am, so that is going really well.
**My bank just called me and the scammers tried to take around $600 but it seems to have been successfully stopped. So that is good.
My computer has been completely wiped and reset from the original start-up discs so hopefully we've removed any viruses they put on. And the bank's fraud department is checking everything their end.
So yesterday generated a lot of stress and work, but hopefully no worse will come of it. I am trying to forgive myself for being so gullible. Sean Anderson made a lovely comment yesterday about how being trusting just means to expect others to be as honest as you are. I agree that is not a bad thing and I would hate to always assume the worst of everyone. But "fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me", I will be a bit more careful from now on.
Starting weight: 85.3 kg
Last week: 81.9
This week: 81.4
Loss: 0.5
Total loss: 3.9 kg
I lost half a kilogram this week, and I am very happy with that. I really wasn't expecting a loss at all. I guess not turning to food when stressed really helps! Half a kilogram is a good steady loss.
I took Thor to the vet this morning for his final immunisation shots (and some drops in his nose!) This time the vet said 7-10 days, and then that a week is ok, so he'll be able to walk the kids to school with me on the last day of term next Friday. Just in time for the school holidays. Yay, only a week until we can go out for walks and to the park! And last night he only woke once, nearly 6am, so that is going really well.
**My bank just called me and the scammers tried to take around $600 but it seems to have been successfully stopped. So that is good.
My computer has been completely wiped and reset from the original start-up discs so hopefully we've removed any viruses they put on. And the bank's fraud department is checking everything their end.
So yesterday generated a lot of stress and work, but hopefully no worse will come of it. I am trying to forgive myself for being so gullible. Sean Anderson made a lovely comment yesterday about how being trusting just means to expect others to be as honest as you are. I agree that is not a bad thing and I would hate to always assume the worst of everyone. But "fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me", I will be a bit more careful from now on.
Saturday, June 21, 2014
When 2 minute noodles are the "good" option
Saturday:
I am giving myself so much credit for today, even though I was far from perfect.
Had a horrible night, up three times with Thor and ended up just before dawn with a puppy who wouldn't sleep except on my lap, I was unable to stop crying from exhaustion. I spent the morning cranky, miserable and nauseated, frequently in tears or close to them. I forced myself to eat my usual breakfast at around 10am although I didn't feel like eating. The kids had their swimming lesson while I stayed home with Thor and a broken internet access, then at lunchtime I didn't feel up to cooking my planned food so we had 2 minute noodles. Not a great choice, I know, just empty carbohydrate and salt, but it was that or send my husband out for fast food. And while deep-fried chicken and chips or pizza probably would have had more nutritional value, it also would have had a billion calories. I can't say for sure I made the right choice, but I am calling it a win. I resisted what I considered the worse (and more tempting) option.
Then I did the grocery shopping and bought lots of healthy food. I got some biscuits for family and visitors, but after a brief struggle I bought ones I hate so I wouldn't be tempted. What I did have was a mini bar of chocolate. I had scheduled in a couple of squares to have after dinner today so I just moved that up.
I could easily have said today "I am tired so I NEED junk food," or "I am unhappy so I DESERVE junk food." And then I would have been even more unhappy later. I don't need or deserve what is literally junk.
Tim and the kids made raspberry banana muffins in the afternoon, I didn't have any. Tim offered to make dinner, delicious risotto. My day was very high carb low protein but I was so glad I didn't have to cook. And I finished the day only a few calories over.
I think I negotiated the rapids pretty well, with only a few minor bruises. So many times in the past I went straight to large amounts of unhealthy food to get through a hard day. It's nice to end hard day without an added burden of guilt and shame.
Tonight we are changing our system with Thor, to what you might call controlled crying. It could be worse for a couple of nights, but hopefully better after that. Can't go on like this. Wish me luck.
I am giving myself so much credit for today, even though I was far from perfect.
Had a horrible night, up three times with Thor and ended up just before dawn with a puppy who wouldn't sleep except on my lap, I was unable to stop crying from exhaustion. I spent the morning cranky, miserable and nauseated, frequently in tears or close to them. I forced myself to eat my usual breakfast at around 10am although I didn't feel like eating. The kids had their swimming lesson while I stayed home with Thor and a broken internet access, then at lunchtime I didn't feel up to cooking my planned food so we had 2 minute noodles. Not a great choice, I know, just empty carbohydrate and salt, but it was that or send my husband out for fast food. And while deep-fried chicken and chips or pizza probably would have had more nutritional value, it also would have had a billion calories. I can't say for sure I made the right choice, but I am calling it a win. I resisted what I considered the worse (and more tempting) option.
Then I did the grocery shopping and bought lots of healthy food. I got some biscuits for family and visitors, but after a brief struggle I bought ones I hate so I wouldn't be tempted. What I did have was a mini bar of chocolate. I had scheduled in a couple of squares to have after dinner today so I just moved that up.
I could easily have said today "I am tired so I NEED junk food," or "I am unhappy so I DESERVE junk food." And then I would have been even more unhappy later. I don't need or deserve what is literally junk.
Tim and the kids made raspberry banana muffins in the afternoon, I didn't have any. Tim offered to make dinner, delicious risotto. My day was very high carb low protein but I was so glad I didn't have to cook. And I finished the day only a few calories over.
I think I negotiated the rapids pretty well, with only a few minor bruises. So many times in the past I went straight to large amounts of unhealthy food to get through a hard day. It's nice to end hard day without an added burden of guilt and shame.
Tonight we are changing our system with Thor, to what you might call controlled crying. It could be worse for a couple of nights, but hopefully better after that. Can't go on like this. Wish me luck.
Tuesday, June 17, 2014
Let it go
Tuesday:
I was angry and upset but I did NOT turn to food.
It was nothing so very bad, just house-training the puppy. He has taken to waiting until we come back inside then peeing on the carpet. Today I stayed out with him for an HOUR AND A HALF, nothing. Came back inside because it was getting cold (winter here, remember) and he barely made it in the door before letting go. I went from happy to furious in a second. I yelled at him and had to put him back outside for a few minutes alone so I wouldn't take out my frustrations on him, I know he is just a confused puppy. But it takes me so long to calm down when I get so upset about something. An hour later I was only just starting to feel better. Still, I did not turn to food.
I said yesterday that last night's overeating was unplanned, but I have realised that wasn't true. I provided most of what I ate, knowing full well I was going to partake. I "gave myself permission" because it was a special occasion - friends leaving and I likely won't ever see them again, or rarely. Yet although I knew for a couple of days in advance what I was going to eat, I guess I didn't let myself think about it too closely. And then was annoyed at myself after the fact! Oh well, moving on.
I got my new Beck diet book in the mail today, the follow up to the one I have been using. It is mainly the same information, repackaged, which I already knew but I wanted my own copy of one (the other is a library book) so I thought I might as well get the new updated one. It is perfect timing, tomorrow is the final day of the six week course in the first book (four weeks of actual dieting, I overlapped the first two weeks of preparation with the actual diet time). Then I can start going through my new one, which is arranged differently into five stages instead of 42 days. I will read it all through before starting on the tasks.
One thing I've been scared of with this diet attempt is that usually a fail means a total fail and I give up entirely and wallow in junk food again. But I'm up to nearly four weeks and although I've had several slips I've just got back up straight away and kept going. This cognitive therapy stuff is really working for me. Concentrating several times a day on why I want to lose weight, giving myself credit for what I do right, not considering a slip the end of the diet, planning ahead what I am going to eat but only one day at a time (I have in the past made weekly plans that I haven't stuck to at all), setting small goals instead only looking ahead to goal weight, dealing with feeling like life is unfair because I can't eat everything I want all the time, it is all helping.
I was angry and upset but I did NOT turn to food.
It was nothing so very bad, just house-training the puppy. He has taken to waiting until we come back inside then peeing on the carpet. Today I stayed out with him for an HOUR AND A HALF, nothing. Came back inside because it was getting cold (winter here, remember) and he barely made it in the door before letting go. I went from happy to furious in a second. I yelled at him and had to put him back outside for a few minutes alone so I wouldn't take out my frustrations on him, I know he is just a confused puppy. But it takes me so long to calm down when I get so upset about something. An hour later I was only just starting to feel better. Still, I did not turn to food.
I said yesterday that last night's overeating was unplanned, but I have realised that wasn't true. I provided most of what I ate, knowing full well I was going to partake. I "gave myself permission" because it was a special occasion - friends leaving and I likely won't ever see them again, or rarely. Yet although I knew for a couple of days in advance what I was going to eat, I guess I didn't let myself think about it too closely. And then was annoyed at myself after the fact! Oh well, moving on.
I got my new Beck diet book in the mail today, the follow up to the one I have been using. It is mainly the same information, repackaged, which I already knew but I wanted my own copy of one (the other is a library book) so I thought I might as well get the new updated one. It is perfect timing, tomorrow is the final day of the six week course in the first book (four weeks of actual dieting, I overlapped the first two weeks of preparation with the actual diet time). Then I can start going through my new one, which is arranged differently into five stages instead of 42 days. I will read it all through before starting on the tasks.
One thing I've been scared of with this diet attempt is that usually a fail means a total fail and I give up entirely and wallow in junk food again. But I'm up to nearly four weeks and although I've had several slips I've just got back up straight away and kept going. This cognitive therapy stuff is really working for me. Concentrating several times a day on why I want to lose weight, giving myself credit for what I do right, not considering a slip the end of the diet, planning ahead what I am going to eat but only one day at a time (I have in the past made weekly plans that I haven't stuck to at all), setting small goals instead only looking ahead to goal weight, dealing with feeling like life is unfair because I can't eat everything I want all the time, it is all helping.
Monday, June 16, 2014
Arsenic hour
Monday:
I was so cranky tonight at arsenic hour (it is traditional for toddlers to be tired and hungry in late afternoon/early evening when mummy is trying to cook dinner). Not enough sleep last night - what a difference that makes! - and Thor getting under my feet. I ended up tying him to the kitchen table. Then I cut my finger on the aluminium foil around a tub of cream cheese:
I took the photo because I was so cranky I was thinking about suing the makers of Philadelphia cream cheese and I wanted evidence! Well my husband is a lawyer.
Here is Thor being a good boy:
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Investigating the strawberry patch, one of his favourite places to wrestle plants into submission:
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And in his second favourite garden bed, the herb patch:
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I was so cranky tonight at arsenic hour (it is traditional for toddlers to be tired and hungry in late afternoon/early evening when mummy is trying to cook dinner). Not enough sleep last night - what a difference that makes! - and Thor getting under my feet. I ended up tying him to the kitchen table. Then I cut my finger on the aluminium foil around a tub of cream cheese:
Here is Thor being a good boy:
Investigating the strawberry patch, one of his favourite places to wrestle plants into submission:
And in his second favourite garden bed, the herb patch:
We had our games night one day early because some of our friends are moving to another city tomorrow, their house was all packed up so they said they might as well come over. I ate too much again. This is a pattern that must not continue. I am totally for occasional treats, but not eating so much unplanned. It looks like we are continuing Dungeons and Dragons with the four of us left, for the time being at least, so managing my supper consumption is something I still need to work on. The rest of the day I did very well, even being tired and cranky. At least I don't automatically turn to food anymore - unless it is right in front of me.
Thursday, June 12, 2014
Week three weigh in
Thursday:
Week three weigh-in!
Starting weight: 85.3 kg
Last week: 83.1 kg
This week: 82.9 kg
Loss this week: 0.2 kg
Total loss: 2.4 kg
Considering the extra treats I had this week, I am happy with any kind of loss. The line on the graph is still going down! And I am under 83 again which feels significant for me because it was my "highest ever" for a while before it went up even more. Next goal is 80! Then after that it will be 75, which I am looking forward to even more than eventually reaching goal weight, because a couple of times in the past on the way up 76 was the point where I went from feeling a bit overweight to really starting to hate the way my body looked. Getting back under that will be awesome. Anyway, for today I celebrate being under 83 again.
I took Thor to the vet today because the paperwork I had said he was due for his next vaccination, although I thought the breeder said not for another two weeks. And it's not for another two weeks. Don't know why the previous vet put that date, only two weeks after the last shot, maybe just a mistake. So that was a waste of $56. She gave him a check-up though and everything is good. And told me the schedule for worming him. But he'll get his vaccination in two weeks and then still can't associate with other dogs or go to the park for two weeks after that! Another month stuck at home. So definitely need to get my exercise sorted.
At lunchtime today I put Thor outside with a chicken neck to gnaw on and he was happy with that for well over half an hour while I had my own lunch inside then came out with a cup of tea. So I might use that time to go for a walk tomorrow. I probably worry too much about him stressing if left alone. I have been out for short errands of 45 mins or so a couple of times, leaving him locked in the bathroom which is where his night-time crate is, and come home to find him not in his bed but sleeping in the little clothes basket on my dirty socks. I don't think he was too bothered, and he certainly didn't mind being left outside for a little while with food today. I'm the one who stresses. I'll build up the time alone slowly, for my sake if not his!
I bought some index cards today. The very first thing you are supposed to do for the Beck Diet Solution is to write down all the reasons you want to lose weight and then read your cards a couple of times a day (there are other things to put on index cards later, too). I never did that exactly as ordered. I made myself a trio of keywords that I could easily remember and then thought about them occasionally... But I am so happy with this cognitive therapy stuff that I am going to go back and do it exactly as Beck recommends.
My keywords, by the way, were Sleep, Mirror and Christmas. "Sleep" because I hate that I have to wear a machine to bed so I don't stop breathing while I'm asleep. I want to beat sleep apnoea. This keyword concept expands to health in general - improving my insulin resistance so I'm not pre-diabetic anymore, being able to be more active without being tired, taking pressure off my joints. "Mirror" refers to how I feel about my appearance, when I look in the mirror, when I try on new clothes, when I catch a glimpse of myself in a shop window. And "Christmas" is about how I think others see me and maybe judge me. I see my mother's side of the family only for things like weddings, and every second Christmas. They are all slender and fit. I have three aunts in their 60s who are upright and trim and could beat me in any sporting contest you'd care to name. Every time this second Christmas approaches I plan to lose weight so I won't be the only fat one there anymore, and every time I fail and just get fatter. I care about lots of other people's opinions of me (my husband, for instance!) but that keyword "Christmas" reminds me how awkward and inadequate I feel at that time of year. The three keywords are in order of importance to me and could be relabelled something like Health, Self-Esteem and Appearance.
Stuck to the plan today and I have plenty of calories left for my yoghurt and fruit supper.
Week three weigh-in!
Starting weight: 85.3 kg
Last week: 83.1 kg
This week: 82.9 kg
Loss this week: 0.2 kg
Total loss: 2.4 kg
Considering the extra treats I had this week, I am happy with any kind of loss. The line on the graph is still going down! And I am under 83 again which feels significant for me because it was my "highest ever" for a while before it went up even more. Next goal is 80! Then after that it will be 75, which I am looking forward to even more than eventually reaching goal weight, because a couple of times in the past on the way up 76 was the point where I went from feeling a bit overweight to really starting to hate the way my body looked. Getting back under that will be awesome. Anyway, for today I celebrate being under 83 again.
I took Thor to the vet today because the paperwork I had said he was due for his next vaccination, although I thought the breeder said not for another two weeks. And it's not for another two weeks. Don't know why the previous vet put that date, only two weeks after the last shot, maybe just a mistake. So that was a waste of $56. She gave him a check-up though and everything is good. And told me the schedule for worming him. But he'll get his vaccination in two weeks and then still can't associate with other dogs or go to the park for two weeks after that! Another month stuck at home. So definitely need to get my exercise sorted.
At lunchtime today I put Thor outside with a chicken neck to gnaw on and he was happy with that for well over half an hour while I had my own lunch inside then came out with a cup of tea. So I might use that time to go for a walk tomorrow. I probably worry too much about him stressing if left alone. I have been out for short errands of 45 mins or so a couple of times, leaving him locked in the bathroom which is where his night-time crate is, and come home to find him not in his bed but sleeping in the little clothes basket on my dirty socks. I don't think he was too bothered, and he certainly didn't mind being left outside for a little while with food today. I'm the one who stresses. I'll build up the time alone slowly, for my sake if not his!
I bought some index cards today. The very first thing you are supposed to do for the Beck Diet Solution is to write down all the reasons you want to lose weight and then read your cards a couple of times a day (there are other things to put on index cards later, too). I never did that exactly as ordered. I made myself a trio of keywords that I could easily remember and then thought about them occasionally... But I am so happy with this cognitive therapy stuff that I am going to go back and do it exactly as Beck recommends.
My keywords, by the way, were Sleep, Mirror and Christmas. "Sleep" because I hate that I have to wear a machine to bed so I don't stop breathing while I'm asleep. I want to beat sleep apnoea. This keyword concept expands to health in general - improving my insulin resistance so I'm not pre-diabetic anymore, being able to be more active without being tired, taking pressure off my joints. "Mirror" refers to how I feel about my appearance, when I look in the mirror, when I try on new clothes, when I catch a glimpse of myself in a shop window. And "Christmas" is about how I think others see me and maybe judge me. I see my mother's side of the family only for things like weddings, and every second Christmas. They are all slender and fit. I have three aunts in their 60s who are upright and trim and could beat me in any sporting contest you'd care to name. Every time this second Christmas approaches I plan to lose weight so I won't be the only fat one there anymore, and every time I fail and just get fatter. I care about lots of other people's opinions of me (my husband, for instance!) but that keyword "Christmas" reminds me how awkward and inadequate I feel at that time of year. The three keywords are in order of importance to me and could be relabelled something like Health, Self-Esteem and Appearance.
Stuck to the plan today and I have plenty of calories left for my yoghurt and fruit supper.
Wednesday, June 11, 2014
Day 21: Back on track again
Wednesday, later:
Today went really well, diet-wise. I stuck to my plan. I was a bit hungry mid-morning and I didn't feel like my scheduled fruit, I wanted something more substantial. But I told myself fruit would be enough and then I would have a delicious hot lunch (leftover beef casserole) only an hour and a half later - and I was right. An apple was fine. And lunch was awesome.
I still haven't done any formal exercise, but with Thor suddenly getting more active and wakeful I've been playing with him in the back yard. It's getting really cold outside as we head deeper into winter, so I have to move around to keep warm! I jog laps with him or kick a ball around for him to chase and growl at.
I had good sleeps the last two nights with Thor only waking once near dawn, and having the CPAP on for around six hours, but I've still fallen asleep in the afternoon in my armchair the past two days. I guess I still have a lot of catching up to do. I look forward to feeling full rested, one day.
I've ordered the follow-up to the Beck diet book I've been using so hopefully that will give me another wave of interest and energy to keep going.
21 days completed.
Today went really well, diet-wise. I stuck to my plan. I was a bit hungry mid-morning and I didn't feel like my scheduled fruit, I wanted something more substantial. But I told myself fruit would be enough and then I would have a delicious hot lunch (leftover beef casserole) only an hour and a half later - and I was right. An apple was fine. And lunch was awesome.
I still haven't done any formal exercise, but with Thor suddenly getting more active and wakeful I've been playing with him in the back yard. It's getting really cold outside as we head deeper into winter, so I have to move around to keep warm! I jog laps with him or kick a ball around for him to chase and growl at.
I had good sleeps the last two nights with Thor only waking once near dawn, and having the CPAP on for around six hours, but I've still fallen asleep in the afternoon in my armchair the past two days. I guess I still have a lot of catching up to do. I look forward to feeling full rested, one day.
I've ordered the follow-up to the Beck diet book I've been using so hopefully that will give me another wave of interest and energy to keep going.
21 days completed.
Friday, June 6, 2014
A very wet bed
Friday:
Another good night! This time Thor slept from 11:00pm to 5:45am. I've got up that early to go to the gym before (ok, for two weeks four years ago). If he keeps sleeping a bit later each day like this it will soon be our getting up time anyway. And I slept deeply, with the CPAP on, until then.
The night didn't look like it was starting off great. I went to put the CPAP on as I was getting into bed and although it seemed to be working I wasn't getting any air at all. Turned it off and on, opened the lid - definitely air coming out there. But nothing through the nose pipe. Felt all along it, couldn't find a leak. I unhooked the pipe to look at it more closely and water went all over the bed and me! What I think happened was one of the kids, or maybe the friend they had over that afternoon and played hide and seek with all over the house, picked up the machine and tipped the water from the humidifier down the tubing. Not on purpose, of course, just looking at it. I had noticed it wasn't how I usually leave it but thought nothing of it. And of course with the low point of the tubing full of water, air couldn't get past. So it was late, I was tired, and I didn't really appreciate having to change the sheets and try to towel-dry the mattress, and change my freshly washed pyjamas too. Ended up getting to bed around 11:40, very late for me. But after that it was a good night.
I had an awesome moment after I crawled back into bed at 6:30 this morning. After I warmed up, I became aware that I was 100% comfortable. I was sleepy but not exhausted, warm and cosy, and my body felt like it was floating. I made sure I enjoyed the feeling.
Mum and I don't talk that often on the phone but we email quite a lot these days. But right now I don't really have anything to talk about except Thor! And mum doesn't like animals and is only interested in the sense of wanting to know how my life is going. So I ask her how she is, but don't really have a lot to say about myself. I've barely left the house and yard for a week.
I sent the kids to school by themselves this morning, that is news. Jasmine walked by herself one day when Aiden was sick, but I worry about the road they have to cross. Lately I've noticed that all the other kids Jasmine's age (ten) or a bit younger are walking by themselves or taking younger siblings. Not that I have to do something just because other parents do! But it was an influence. And carrying Thor back and forth has been a pain. I'm not allowed to let him walk yet outside our yard but he really really wants to so he struggles in my arms. I suppose I could have left him at home. But ten is old enough to walk and to look after her brother for two blocks. (I was roaming around a lot younger than that as a child, but I don't base my parenting on that. A lot of bad stuff happened in my family including my ten year old brother getting hit and killed by a train. And my other brother ending up in hospital a few times with horrible permanent scars. And once we accidentally set the reserve (bushland) on fire. I am a cautious parent because I KNOW bad things happen.) But I finally let them go without me. I was watching at the window from 3:00 waiting for them to get home safely, which they did. When Thor is allowed down on a lead we'll make the school trip part of our morning walk, but they will probably always be walking home alone (together) from now on.
Food was a bit trickier today. I went out at lunchtime because that is when Thor's nap coincided with the library being open, then when I got home the lovely chicken soup I was making wasn't ready like I thought it was when I turned it off when I left the house. But it was past my usual lunchtime and I was hungry. So I had some leftover roast chicken, then later the soup as well. So I had two lunches. However I have finished dinner with a handful of calories to spare. No supper tonight, but I've got through the day within my budget even if it didn't quite go to plan.
Another good night! This time Thor slept from 11:00pm to 5:45am. I've got up that early to go to the gym before (ok, for two weeks four years ago). If he keeps sleeping a bit later each day like this it will soon be our getting up time anyway. And I slept deeply, with the CPAP on, until then.
The night didn't look like it was starting off great. I went to put the CPAP on as I was getting into bed and although it seemed to be working I wasn't getting any air at all. Turned it off and on, opened the lid - definitely air coming out there. But nothing through the nose pipe. Felt all along it, couldn't find a leak. I unhooked the pipe to look at it more closely and water went all over the bed and me! What I think happened was one of the kids, or maybe the friend they had over that afternoon and played hide and seek with all over the house, picked up the machine and tipped the water from the humidifier down the tubing. Not on purpose, of course, just looking at it. I had noticed it wasn't how I usually leave it but thought nothing of it. And of course with the low point of the tubing full of water, air couldn't get past. So it was late, I was tired, and I didn't really appreciate having to change the sheets and try to towel-dry the mattress, and change my freshly washed pyjamas too. Ended up getting to bed around 11:40, very late for me. But after that it was a good night.
I had an awesome moment after I crawled back into bed at 6:30 this morning. After I warmed up, I became aware that I was 100% comfortable. I was sleepy but not exhausted, warm and cosy, and my body felt like it was floating. I made sure I enjoyed the feeling.
Mum and I don't talk that often on the phone but we email quite a lot these days. But right now I don't really have anything to talk about except Thor! And mum doesn't like animals and is only interested in the sense of wanting to know how my life is going. So I ask her how she is, but don't really have a lot to say about myself. I've barely left the house and yard for a week.
I sent the kids to school by themselves this morning, that is news. Jasmine walked by herself one day when Aiden was sick, but I worry about the road they have to cross. Lately I've noticed that all the other kids Jasmine's age (ten) or a bit younger are walking by themselves or taking younger siblings. Not that I have to do something just because other parents do! But it was an influence. And carrying Thor back and forth has been a pain. I'm not allowed to let him walk yet outside our yard but he really really wants to so he struggles in my arms. I suppose I could have left him at home. But ten is old enough to walk and to look after her brother for two blocks. (I was roaming around a lot younger than that as a child, but I don't base my parenting on that. A lot of bad stuff happened in my family including my ten year old brother getting hit and killed by a train. And my other brother ending up in hospital a few times with horrible permanent scars. And once we accidentally set the reserve (bushland) on fire. I am a cautious parent because I KNOW bad things happen.) But I finally let them go without me. I was watching at the window from 3:00 waiting for them to get home safely, which they did. When Thor is allowed down on a lead we'll make the school trip part of our morning walk, but they will probably always be walking home alone (together) from now on.
Food was a bit trickier today. I went out at lunchtime because that is when Thor's nap coincided with the library being open, then when I got home the lovely chicken soup I was making wasn't ready like I thought it was when I turned it off when I left the house. But it was past my usual lunchtime and I was hungry. So I had some leftover roast chicken, then later the soup as well. So I had two lunches. However I have finished dinner with a handful of calories to spare. No supper tonight, but I've got through the day within my budget even if it didn't quite go to plan.
Wednesday, June 4, 2014
Does that count as a win?
Wednesday:
Is this a fail or a win? Last night I had 200 calories to spend on treat foods. I started with a couple of wholegrain crackers with cheese, which I didn't count as a treat but it put something in my stomach. I chose some chocolate and some chips and counted them out onto a plate. So that was good. Then I randomly grabbed a pear cider which would totally take me over my treat limit. I ignored the "good me" voice warning me against it and told myself it was ok. That is the fail bit. I fully intended to eat/drink more calories than I had planned for.
I ate half the chocolate and some of the chips and had a few sips of the cider. And didn't want any more. It wasn't any effort of will power, I just didn't want to have any more. So I didn't. Is that a win? I'll call it a win. I could easily, in the past, have just eaten the rest even though I didn't want it; I did that all the time. But this time I pushed it away.
I always say I'm not addicted to sugar, I don't even like sweet things much except as a little taste. But these past two weeks I've been mainly sticking to real food and therefore unintentionally having less sugar - just a bit in my tea and the occasional piece of chocolate. And my food cravings - which are generally for non-sweet things - have been almost non-existent. I'm not sure if it is related to reduced sugar/fake food or if it's just that I am still in the "honeymoon" period of a new diet. I have rarely made it to the two week point before though.
I've been in a few situations that are typically tempting for me; games night, shopping when hungry, my own cooking, but I really haven't been all that tempted most of the time. Food doesn't seem as important as usual. I have houseguests this weekend so I have to negotiate that. Do I offer any unhealthy dessert/snacks? Or only what will fit into my food plan?
Another good night with Thor only getting us out of bed once. The arrangement is that Tim takes him outside in the cold dark (maybe rain) for a toilet stop then I stay up with him inside for the 20-30 minutes he needs to get sleepy again, and put him back to bed. Alternating would mean one person could stay in bed, but I am scared of the dark and Tim needs his sleep to work the next day so this way works best for both of us. And once a night isn't too bad. Four times a night was horrible.
Unfortunately I'm having a lot of trouble with my CPAP. Since getting the flu a month ago, I think I've got through a whole night with it a total of three times. At first it was just the frequent coughing that would make me give up, but now I am having some technical issues. Twice there was a loud air escape from the machine which I couldn't investigate in the dark (turned out it was just the lid to the humidifier popping open under pressure, I mustn't have shut it properly), and for the last couple of nights air has started escaping around my nostrils after I've been wearing it for a while (maybe when it gets up to full pressure). But why now? Have my nostrils changed size or shape? I didn't have this problem before. The CPAP isn't a whole mask, just little plastic marshmallows sitting inside my nostrils. I wriggle it around but can't stop the air leak. It is noisy (comparatively, in the dead of night) and unpleasant if it is blowing into my eye. Always right nostril, I think. If it keeps happening I'll have to investigate other masks, but it is weird because this exact one was working perfectly for me before.
[edit: when washing it this evening I found the inner part was inside out which would hopefully explain the escaping air - hopefully will be better tonight]
Still on track with my food but not exercising at all except for walking the kids to and from school, carrying a puppy. I can't let him down because he is not fully immunised yet. He really wants to walk, but I can't let him. Too many other dogs around. Sigh. He is cute and cuddly and takes up soooo much of my time. It's been 14 years since I had a dog, I guess I forgot.
Is this a fail or a win? Last night I had 200 calories to spend on treat foods. I started with a couple of wholegrain crackers with cheese, which I didn't count as a treat but it put something in my stomach. I chose some chocolate and some chips and counted them out onto a plate. So that was good. Then I randomly grabbed a pear cider which would totally take me over my treat limit. I ignored the "good me" voice warning me against it and told myself it was ok. That is the fail bit. I fully intended to eat/drink more calories than I had planned for.
I ate half the chocolate and some of the chips and had a few sips of the cider. And didn't want any more. It wasn't any effort of will power, I just didn't want to have any more. So I didn't. Is that a win? I'll call it a win. I could easily, in the past, have just eaten the rest even though I didn't want it; I did that all the time. But this time I pushed it away.
I always say I'm not addicted to sugar, I don't even like sweet things much except as a little taste. But these past two weeks I've been mainly sticking to real food and therefore unintentionally having less sugar - just a bit in my tea and the occasional piece of chocolate. And my food cravings - which are generally for non-sweet things - have been almost non-existent. I'm not sure if it is related to reduced sugar/fake food or if it's just that I am still in the "honeymoon" period of a new diet. I have rarely made it to the two week point before though.
I've been in a few situations that are typically tempting for me; games night, shopping when hungry, my own cooking, but I really haven't been all that tempted most of the time. Food doesn't seem as important as usual. I have houseguests this weekend so I have to negotiate that. Do I offer any unhealthy dessert/snacks? Or only what will fit into my food plan?
Another good night with Thor only getting us out of bed once. The arrangement is that Tim takes him outside in the cold dark (maybe rain) for a toilet stop then I stay up with him inside for the 20-30 minutes he needs to get sleepy again, and put him back to bed. Alternating would mean one person could stay in bed, but I am scared of the dark and Tim needs his sleep to work the next day so this way works best for both of us. And once a night isn't too bad. Four times a night was horrible.
Unfortunately I'm having a lot of trouble with my CPAP. Since getting the flu a month ago, I think I've got through a whole night with it a total of three times. At first it was just the frequent coughing that would make me give up, but now I am having some technical issues. Twice there was a loud air escape from the machine which I couldn't investigate in the dark (turned out it was just the lid to the humidifier popping open under pressure, I mustn't have shut it properly), and for the last couple of nights air has started escaping around my nostrils after I've been wearing it for a while (maybe when it gets up to full pressure). But why now? Have my nostrils changed size or shape? I didn't have this problem before. The CPAP isn't a whole mask, just little plastic marshmallows sitting inside my nostrils. I wriggle it around but can't stop the air leak. It is noisy (comparatively, in the dead of night) and unpleasant if it is blowing into my eye. Always right nostril, I think. If it keeps happening I'll have to investigate other masks, but it is weird because this exact one was working perfectly for me before.
[edit: when washing it this evening I found the inner part was inside out which would hopefully explain the escaping air - hopefully will be better tonight]
Still on track with my food but not exercising at all except for walking the kids to and from school, carrying a puppy. I can't let him down because he is not fully immunised yet. He really wants to walk, but I can't let him. Too many other dogs around. Sigh. He is cute and cuddly and takes up soooo much of my time. It's been 14 years since I had a dog, I guess I forgot.
Tuesday, June 3, 2014
Day 13: Treat day
Tuesday:
A much better night that I had dared to hope for! Thor woke at 1:30 and was only up for a very short time, then slept through until nearly 7:00am! Totally awesome! I woke a couple of times in the night, amazed that he was still quiet, then happily went back to sleep. So that was an awesome treat!
So I am feeling a million times better today. Not nauseous with sleep deprivation anymore. Still not particularly hungry though. Part of that is constant distractions. I had a very small lunch and was looking through the cupboards for something else (not recommended practice) but then Thor woke and I took him outside for a while. By then I wasn't hungry anymore and decided to wait until afternoon tea.
I've finished dinner having only had around 800 calories again today. It is games night so I am going to allow myself 200 calories of treat food again, plus maybe a bit of fruit or something.
A much better night that I had dared to hope for! Thor woke at 1:30 and was only up for a very short time, then slept through until nearly 7:00am! Totally awesome! I woke a couple of times in the night, amazed that he was still quiet, then happily went back to sleep. So that was an awesome treat!
So I am feeling a million times better today. Not nauseous with sleep deprivation anymore. Still not particularly hungry though. Part of that is constant distractions. I had a very small lunch and was looking through the cupboards for something else (not recommended practice) but then Thor woke and I took him outside for a while. By then I wasn't hungry anymore and decided to wait until afternoon tea.
I've finished dinner having only had around 800 calories again today. It is games night so I am going to allow myself 200 calories of treat food again, plus maybe a bit of fruit or something.
Monday, June 2, 2014
So tired
Monday:
Thor got us up four times last night. He is getting used to his bed and being alone, and not resisting much when being put to bed, but he still wakes frequently and needs to be taken out - into the cold rain. Having no luck with the inside tray. He waits until I let him out of it then goes and pees on the carpet. Any tips? I'm reminding myself this is a relatively short phase, I've just got to get through it.
Nausea from overtiredness making food very unappetising. And I'm either constantly watching the puppy to try to forestall accidents, or am carrying him or have him on my lap, so preparing food for myself is tricky. I've just finished dinner and I've only had 820 calories today. I was interrupted by needing to go and clean up an accident, I wasn't feeling very hungry anyway and just couldn't eat any more after that.
Who decided getting a dog was a good idea?
But look at this face...
So mostly I had a pleasant but very unproductive day, hanging around with the new puppy. Waves of tiredness made me pretty miserable at times, and I got a bit frustrated with the toilet training. But I know it's only day three! I was just already on the edge of being exhausted, with my sleep apnoea issues, and now I am way over the edge and in free fall. I'm hoping for at least a slightly better night. At least it isn't raining.
Thor got us up four times last night. He is getting used to his bed and being alone, and not resisting much when being put to bed, but he still wakes frequently and needs to be taken out - into the cold rain. Having no luck with the inside tray. He waits until I let him out of it then goes and pees on the carpet. Any tips? I'm reminding myself this is a relatively short phase, I've just got to get through it.
Nausea from overtiredness making food very unappetising. And I'm either constantly watching the puppy to try to forestall accidents, or am carrying him or have him on my lap, so preparing food for myself is tricky. I've just finished dinner and I've only had 820 calories today. I was interrupted by needing to go and clean up an accident, I wasn't feeling very hungry anyway and just couldn't eat any more after that.
Who decided getting a dog was a good idea?
But look at this face...
So mostly I had a pleasant but very unproductive day, hanging around with the new puppy. Waves of tiredness made me pretty miserable at times, and I got a bit frustrated with the toilet training. But I know it's only day three! I was just already on the edge of being exhausted, with my sleep apnoea issues, and now I am way over the edge and in free fall. I'm hoping for at least a slightly better night. At least it isn't raining.
Friday, May 30, 2014
Thor!
Saturday:
We picked up our new puppy, Thor, this morning. It was about an hour and a quarter drive to the breeder's house and then I got to cuddle him for the first time. He was very snuggly. I had expected him to cry and complain on the long drive home, but he lay quietly in the travel cage wedged between the kids in the back and then slept most of the way. Not a single whine.
He had fun playing with us in the backyard and exploring a little bit of the house but stayed close to us all the time. He loves cuddles and tummy rubs. After about two hours he looked tired so we put him on his day bed, which is between my desk and Tim's - it seemed a good spot because I spend a lot of my time at my desk during the day, and it's quiet and out of the way. It's a gloomy cloudy afternoon so it's quite dark in here now, and Thor has a toy that was rubbed on his siblings to get their scent on it. He lay down but when Aiden walked away he jumped out and followed him. Then stopped, came back and climbed back into bed and went to sleep! I can't believe he put himself to bed!
The kids are impatient for him to wake up again but they will have to get used to having a puppy in the house. He's like a toddler, go go go sleep.
Life is going to be a bit different but going very well so far.
We picked up our new puppy, Thor, this morning. It was about an hour and a quarter drive to the breeder's house and then I got to cuddle him for the first time. He was very snuggly. I had expected him to cry and complain on the long drive home, but he lay quietly in the travel cage wedged between the kids in the back and then slept most of the way. Not a single whine.
He had fun playing with us in the backyard and exploring a little bit of the house but stayed close to us all the time. He loves cuddles and tummy rubs. After about two hours he looked tired so we put him on his day bed, which is between my desk and Tim's - it seemed a good spot because I spend a lot of my time at my desk during the day, and it's quiet and out of the way. It's a gloomy cloudy afternoon so it's quite dark in here now, and Thor has a toy that was rubbed on his siblings to get their scent on it. He lay down but when Aiden walked away he jumped out and followed him. Then stopped, came back and climbed back into bed and went to sleep! I can't believe he put himself to bed!
The kids are impatient for him to wake up again but they will have to get used to having a puppy in the house. He's like a toddler, go go go sleep.
Life is going to be a bit different but going very well so far.
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