Sunday, July 24, 2016



I spent today getting some scans done of my pelvis. It was a really interesting experience (although a bit ironic that I was there because lying down hurts... so they made me lie very still for long periods!). First they injected me with some radioactive stuff. Then they did a scan while my blood was radioactive. Then they sent me away for three hours so my bones could absorb the radioactivity.

I went to the local shopping centre and had a cup of tea and a punnet of strawberries. It was too early for lunch and besides I was feeling a bit nauseated and had a nasty headache. I wasn't supposed to feel anything from the injection so maybe it was unrelated, but I did later find a reference to headaches as a possible side effect on the internet. You can find anything on the internet if you try hard enough. I did a bit of shopping and wandering around, but still had plenty of time (I could have gone home but decided not to) so I parked next to the river and sat in the warm car in the sun and played with my iPhone.

It was a pretty spot.

I went back and they did four 5-minute scans in a row in the big machine. It was hard to lie still for so long, made my pelvis ache quite a lot. At night I lie on my side which isn't so bad, on my back is quite painful. Then I waited a bit more, then they used a different machine to do a 3D scan. It was swooping around me taking scans from all angles while the bed part also moved back and forth, quite fascinating. I can pick up the scans tomorrow, no idea if they show anything interesting.

I made it home just before the kids got home from school. Was driven to take painkillers for the headache which is pretty unusual for me. And of course was very hungry by then! Delicious sandwich with the fresh bread I'd just bought.

Just think, until I finish filtering and peeing it all out - I'm radioactive!

Saturday, July 23, 2016



My uncle (dad's brother) and aunt are up from the country, staying with their son who lives about an hour away from here. Last night we went over to have dinner with them at a restaurant. It's the middle of winter here but I thought I'd be fine in warm indoor clothing - I'd just be in the car or in a restaurant right? It turned out we were seated out in the courtyard! I suppose with 14 of us they couldn't fit us anywhere else. It was a very nice courtyard, with live music and a kid's play area and outdoor heaters, but it was still night time in winter and everyone was cold, even those who had wisely worn jackets and beanies. When I got home I soaked in a hot bath to recover.

The food was good, the company was good, the music was nice. It was great to have a chat with family I don't see often. I didn't get to talk to my cousin much, he has triplets who are nearly three years old and very active! He and his wife and the older child (I think she is 13) were running after them all night. At least they had the playground. But I got to talk to my uncle and aunt who I used to stay with on the farm (or at nanna's next door) every summer until I was about 21.

There was talk of them coming over here for lunch today but they said they would call to confirm. They didn't call until 1:15! I had long since given up on them. They'd decided not to come. A bit rude not to give me notice, I think. Actually it turned out for the best because the pool guy was still here.

We'd chosen a contractor for the pool build (Mirage) and the project manager came back today to do some more detailed measuring and planning, and for us to sign the contract. He was here so much longer than I expected. He came at 10:00, was outside for over an hour then came in to do paperwork. At 1:00 I cooked some pasta and fed the kids, and after a while longer ate a little bit myself standing at the counter while he was going through the paperwork with Tim. If I'd known how long he was going to be here I would have offered him lunch, or just eaten in front of him, but I kept thinking he was nearly finished and about to leave. I did give him tea and biscuits earlier but I didn't eat then. I was so hungry I was feeling quite nauseated. My blood sugar goes all wonky if I don't eat regularly. I was no longer paying any attention to what he was saying, my head was fuzzy and I just wanted him to leave. I left it to Tim to check the contract. Finally he went at 2:30 and Tim and I got to eat some congealed pasta. Four and a half hours the guy was here!

Should have a pool by Christmas though.

Friday, July 22, 2016

Risque review


For Christmas Tim was given a voucher for theatre tickets and last night he finally used them and we went to see "Risqué Review" which was dinner and burlesque cabaret. A cousin came over to babysit the kids, and I met Tim in the city after work. I was a bit dubious but it turned out to be really good. There was a singer with a very nice voice, three dancing girls in a variety of skimpy costumes (but no more revealing than you'd see on a beach and probably more modest than many music videos these days!) and one man who was mainly a prop for the ladies but then he took his shirt off and did a very impressive pole dance! Very strong. But he was kind of brooding and intense (which may have just been his stage persona), for attractiveness I preferred our waiter who was cute and always smiling.

The most memorable performance was one lady in a bath. They wheeled out a claw-foot bath on a pedestal, with a girl in a bikini (in real water). There was a trapeze hoop suspended above and she swung and flipped herself around very acrobatically. They handed out umbrellas to the patrons! I only saw one lady use hers though, most people didn't mind getting splashed a little when the performer flipped her hair or spun in circles with water drops flying off her legs.

The food was also excellent which I didn't expect at all. It was a great night. We got home 11:30 or so, way past my bed time!

Today I did the grocery shopping and some more book-thinking. Some ideas are coming together.

Wednesday, July 20, 2016



I saw the gynaecologist this morning. The summary is I am on a three month waiting list for surgery to fix part of the problem, then we'll see how I go before taking further steps. I'll go into more detail now, mainly for my own records while I still remember, so if you find women's issues TMI don't read on!

We decided a hysterectomy was a bit drastic while there were other options available, even though it would solve both problems at once. Instead we are starting with fibroid removal with newish MyoSure technology, like a tiny vaccum cleaner on a stick that goes in through the cervix, under general anaesthetic in day surgery. I have one small intramural (inside the tissues) fibroid tucked away that isn't causing any problems, which won't be touched, and a larger submucosal one sticking into my uterus (looks a bit like a grape but it has lots of blood vessels) which they will remove. It has tripled in size lately and probably causing most of the heavy bleeding and pain.

The second problem is my adenomyosis, I though I had one or the other but apparently I have both. Adenomyosis is where the uterus lining grows where it shouldn't, into the muscle wall. My muscle there is all riddled with pockets of this lining stuff. It's quite common (so are fibroids) but in my case it is probably causing some of the pain/bleeding etc. It's a bit hard to tell which issue is causing what problem! In a nine month period between ultrasounds my uterus has enlarged from 84 x 50 x 30 mm to 106 x 82 x 45 mm. The gyno can't do anything about the adenomyosis (except hysterectomy) until the fibroid is removed because the treatment is insertion of a "Mirena" hormone delivery system which releases hormones directly into the uterus. She can't put one in with the fibroid taking up all the space. So I have to wait.

The gyno came up with a third possible issue which had not been considered. The pattern of my pelvic pain does not quite match either of these diagnoses and she is sending me for a bone scan of my pelvis to see if I have an infection there. She did not say so, but this might be supported by the unexplained raised lymphocytes (white blood cells) in my last three blood tests. I have booked that in for Monday, it looks like it takes a few hours altogether, they give you an injection then do the actual scan a couple of hours later. I'll have to remember to take a book.

One funny/not funny thing today... My foot was hurting really badly today and the long drive made it worse so I was limping badly, you might say hobbling. It probably looked like my gynaecologist had been a bit rough with me!



Dreary rain today. I had planned to explore the area around the nearby river in a deep picturesque gorge, looking for somewhere to sit and write/think in the winter sun. But not today (or tomorrow, apparently). I find being at home quite distracting, I do my best thinking either walking or in the bath/shower, or else sitting somewhere with a lovely view.

Some writers like to do detailed outlines of the whole story before beginning, others (like Stephen King) start with a scenario (what would happen if vampires turned up in a small town?) and start writing and see what happens. Plotter vs Pantster (ie by the seat of your pants, I think); Architect vs Gardener. I am somewhere in between. A gardener who has a plan but then lets the plants grow out of control. My eventual story isn't much like the original outline! But I need some kind of sketch before I begin. I like to know how it will end, then I can work towards that with a few major plot points.

Not quite so much eating today, but no exercise either.

They are calling for contestants for a quiz show I like, The Chase. At home, I answer as well as most contestants, say a bit more than two thirds of questions correct. You don't have to answer a certain number correct in a row with no mistakes, it's ok to pass on a couple. A little bit of me is tempted. My mother went on a game show, Sale of the Century, when I was a teenager. She knew most of the answers but it's a show where you have to have quick reflexes to press the buzzer and she was bad at that side of it, she didn't win. I was in the audience and I remember every ad break they came out and put more lipstick on her and as they walked away she would wipe it off! Anyway there are two reasons I won't be auditioning for The Chase. One is that I was hate to be on TV at this size, I could never watch it without cringing. But more importantly I freeze under that sort of pressure! Give me a written exam and I'm fine, but put me up the front with people watching and even without the TV cameras I probably wouldn't be able to answer a single question. I'd be like a rabbit in the headlights. Total brainfreeze. I can still dream though. Yeah, I'd go on, answer every question correctly, win lots of money, they'd ask me to stay on and be a quizmaster...

So here is a question, if you were going to be a star on some kind of reality competition show, and your talent was enhanced a bit so you'd win, which would you choose? Singing? Dancing? Bachelor/ette? Quiz? Next Top Model? Masterchef? Home Renovation? What would you like to be  best at? I'd find it very hard to choose! But maybe singing.

Tuesday, July 19, 2016

Offending the Gods


The God of Nightsweats took offence at me saying I could deal with it, and I had a very unpleasant night due to His retaliation. Four or five in one night! So instead of saying I'm fine I can handle it, I will say oh woe is me I am so tired and headachy. That should appease Him.

I've started the planning stages of book two. Tim is still reading book one and I'll use his feedback to make some (hopefully final) changes but in the meantime I need to get to work on the next book. I did write a chapter ages ago but without really knowing where it was going... so far you could say my outline is "main characters track down and defeat the villain who was revealed at the end of book one". Not really very detailed!

My hunger dial is turned up to 11 at the moment. I am eating anything and everything, never satisfied. It rather disconcerting.

My doctor appointment has been moved up to Thursday, which is awesome.

Monday, July 18, 2016

Deal with it


Tim is back at work and Aiden at school today, Jasmine goes back tomorrow.

This morning I weighed 82.0 kg. Tiny bit up.

I've realised I just have to learn to deal with things as they are now. I have night sweats (often with bad dreams) regularly but I can generally just go back to sleep after they wake me. The herbal tablets don't always work, or I forget to take them. Wearing summer pyjamas, so I am too cold, does seem to help. It's one more thing disrupting my sleep, but I can cope (most days).

The pelvic pain, extended heavy periods, emotional roller coaster, well I'm seeing the gyno next week about the fibroids but if this is my life now well I can't keep turning to chocolate to save me. It doesn't work.

My foot: last night I decided to give up. I've spent months using every treatment available even super strong stuff I had to travel to get from a specialist chemist, the doctor has frozen it four times, nothing has worked. Several times the acid paint has made a chunk of dead skin with part of the wart peel off, but within about 24 hours it was back. It is twice the size it was three months ago. I'll just have to wait for my body to reject the virus, which typically takes a couple of years or more.

So what does that mean? It means I don't want to keep my life on hold waiting to be able to walk comfortably again. But just thinking that doesn't stop it hurting, so I'm not really sure what to do. One thing is that generally it hurts a lot more in the morning and less in the afternoon, so I can work around that. I can remind myself that I am not doing myself any damage - it's not like an injury that needs to be rested.

I put my plans into practise with a short walk in the afternoon with Jasmine. 20 minutes around the block included her trying to catch some Pokémon which slowed us down, the rest of the time she was zooming ahead barely within shouting range. I went slow. When we started I hardly hurt at all, by the time we got back I was very uncomfortable. The pain went again once I was home so it didn't set me up for hours of agony or anything. I will try to remind myself that it will only hurt in the moment then it will be over.

We also did the grocery shopping with no junk bought, only strawberries and cherries for an afternoon tea treat. Good day.