Thursday, May 31, 2012

Another missed weigh-in


May was a bit of a disaster in terms of weight loss; I barely exercised, ate a lot of junk, and unsurprisingly regained over a kg.

But the good news is that today is the start of a new WW week and is also the start of a new month (June) and a new season (Winter). A good day to take a deep breath and begin again.

It would have been good to get to myWW meeting this morning but I am down with the flu again. Day 3 of feeling like death warmed up. Actually, as usual for me lately, I have a pretty mild case; but I have general fatigue, a sore throat, and alternate sweating and chills that are particularly unpleasant at night. It is also TTOM, so I'm not sure if some of the aches and tiredness are attributable to that.

My interim goal is to look after myself by resting, drinking lots of fluid (as usual, a big issue for me), and nurturing my body with healthy food instead of junk. And start tracking again, even if I eat bad things! I have somehow got right out of the habit of tracking and rarely get past breakfast.

While dropping off my kids at school (I drove today) I saw a friend who I rarely get to talk to anymore since she started full-time work, and we stood chatting for a few minutes beside our cars (in the freezing cold!). We have discussed our weight often before -- she only has about 5 kg (12 pounds) to lose but has struggled with that little bit since I've known her -- and she commented that I looked like I had lost a lot of weight. I was wearing my lovely flattering new coat but I have lost a few kgs lately so that was nice to hear.

Tuesday, May 29, 2012



Tim and I had our first ballroom dancing lesson on Sunday, my ten-year anniversary present to him. We have both done some dance before -- I did a couple of years of ballroom and tap back in my Uni days, we had lessons for a while before our wedding, and Tim has done lessons in various other styles like jazz and is currently doing hiphop. But it's been a while since we've done ballroom so we are starting with beginner lessons.

This week it was the tango, which neither of us have done before. It was fun; and although tango is only walking pace, you have to tense your muscles a fair bit so it was at least a little bit of exercise. There were maybe 20 people there, unfortunately with a few unattached females so the men felt honour-bound to occassionally share themselves around. Still, most of the time Tim and I were dancing together. The kids played their Nintendos happily and there was a platter of food so that kept them quiet.

Just before we left one woman was chatting to us about how we would probably argue a lot about dancing -- on remembering the steps I think -- and how she and her husband fight all the time about it. She was quite insistent about it. Tim and I smiled politely but with inward scoffing. We don't really argue about anything, let alone something like who remembered the steps correctly. Our "argument" might go something like:

1. Is that right? I thought it went like this.
2. Are you sure? I'm pretty sure it was this way.
1. Oh, ok. I can't really remember. We'll do it that way and check next week.

I had a bit of a problem with my shoes. I never wear heels anymore, even with dresses I wear boots with no heel. But ballroom calls for high heels. I wore some but my feet were sore by the time we walked into the studio, so I changed into the sneakers I had thoughtfully brought with me just in case. They totally didn't go with the dress, but at least I was comfortable. I need to buy some kind of compromise.

Saturday, May 26, 2012



I have tried porridge, quinoa porridge, rvyita, and today the buckwheat pancakes from a WW cookbook. All horrible. If they were the only food available and I was starving; then yes, I would eat them. But they aren't and I'm not so I won't.

As I've said before, I don't really like cereal and I am not that keen on eggs -- certainly not every day even if I had time to cook them on weekdays -- so I am really struggling to find something healthy. I'm down to toast, or cruskits when I am feeling weak-willed.

I am toying with the idea of non-breakfast foods for breakfast. My dad is a big meat eater and for preference will have left-overs from dinner for breakfast. When he visits I try to make sure I have some left-over roast for him. Should I try something like that for myself? "They" do say you should have breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a pauper. I enjoy a bigger meal at night but maybe I could try swapping breakfast and lunch.

Or maybe just stick with the toast, and find a few different toppings for my single slice. Peanut butter, cheese, creamed corn. Hmmm, that is all I can think of.

Thursday, May 24, 2012

and Happy


I continued to feel tired and depressed this morning. Tim was feeling unwell enough to consider staying home, although he didn't in the end, which made me wonder if I am just feeling down while I get over the flu -- but I have been feeling very sad on and off for months or longer so I don't think so.

I was cowardly and didn't go my WW meeting, although I enjoyed it so much last week I couldn't face a semi-public gain. Pathetic of me. I did the grocery shopping and put several bad things in the trolley. And then, worse, I bought KFC for lunch. At 11 am! And it was just as greasy and horrible as you would expect. I ate one and a bit pieces, and some not-very-good chips. And felt like I had been dumped in a bucket of lard. KFC has the worst fried chicken ever.


About half an hour later I started to feel really happy. All the sad feelings lifted, and instead of feeling extra bad from a big helping of guilt; I just feel good. Food makes me feel good. Often bad food makes me feel very good. Definitely my drug of choice.

Ten years ago I spent a few weeks on a low carb diet and was grumpy and tired and irritable the whole time. Could my current emotional struggles be at least partly to do with restricting my diet?

It doesn't really seem likely, considering how much cheating I am doing. I just don't know. If I was sticking to the WW plan I would be eating moderate levels of carbohydrate -- a lot less that I am used to -- and much less processed food. Dramatically reduced white sugar, msg, preservatives and artificial additives. It could certainly be argued that my body could react to that. But I haven't been sticking to that very well, so maybe I can rule that out. Unless it's from suddenly reintroducing too much junk after a break? Arg! I don't know.

I have been badly depressed once in my life; the ten months after giving birth to my first child. I had severe PND that I tried to hide and didn't talk about until it was getting better. This "depression" is not like that. I am not in any danger of ending my life or anything like that. I just feel sad a lot, like there is nothing I really want to be doing and I don't know where my life is going. It's more like when I had my chonic pain and I wasn't sure if it would ever end and how it would affect my life. That was an external thing, stemming from something that was happening to me, completely understandable I think. The PND was -- I believe -- hormonal and not triggered by anything in my life other than my body going crazy. As soon as my periods returned my emotions started getting back to normal. I have no idea what is causing the current problem, which is why I am writing pages about it.

I am happily married with lovely children, no financial problems, nice house etc. Very little stress. I do feel a bit isolated and lonely, as I was saying yesterday. I feel at a bit of a loose end. I have my freelance work and volunteer work. I spend a lot of time wasting time, doing very little. I am a very slack housekeeper. I would love to write a book and learn the guitar but never spend any time on either. I used to love gardening, now I pay someone to do it and I rarely step into the yard.

I'm not going anywhere with this ramble. I'm just looking for answers.

I am not going to start eating junk food every day to keep my mood up. Apart from being very unhealthy, being overweight also makes me very unhappy. Maybe I can learn to get a high from exercise. Never have yet, but I can keep hoping.

Wednesday, May 23, 2012



I don't know what is going on with me at the moment. I seem to have lost all motivation and momentum. I have barely exercised this month, rarely tracked, often eaten with disregard for the WW rules. It's weigh-in tomorrow and I will definitely have a gain this week.

I was sick earlier in the week and although I don't feel sick now I do still feel tired and a bit down. I hesitate to use the word depressed as that has such a specific clinical meaning these days, but certainly down in spirits. I have been sneezing and my eyes are very watery and I wonder if this is a bit of post-flu depression? I feel like I'm having some kind of existensial crisis. Am I really any good at my job? It certainly doesn't make much money. Why am I trying to lose weight -- will my life be any different if I do? What do I want my life to be like anyway?

The lack of exercise may be affecting my spirits, and/or the cold weather. Or not enough sleep. Or isolation. My best friend here started a full time job yesterday so there won't be any more after-school playdates and cups of tea. There used to be several other families we would get together with, but haven't for a while. I work from home, alone all day; see other parents briefly when I pick up the kids from school; Tim gets home in the evening, last night quite late but always after the kids & I have had dinner and they are getting ready for bed. I don't see anyone or talk to anyone all day. I read other people's blogs and get a thrill if they reply to a comment I have made. Sometimes I play online computer games -- World of Warcraft always had lots of chat with real people but there doesn't seem to be any of that on Rift, and my current game -- Diablo 3 -- is not multiplayer unless you link up with people you know as Tim & I sometimes do in the evenings.

I was wondering last night if quitting the gym was a bad idea. I was really enjoying my Kinect games at the time but going to the gym got me out of the house and at least seeing other people even if I rarely spoke to them. And lately I haven't even been doing Kinect games.

I used to go out to meetings relating to my writing and editing -- three nights a month -- and they involved real interaction with other people. I would even sometimes meet up with people during the day to sit in a cafe and write. For for many months now I just couldn't be bothered. Even though Tim would make a big effort to get home in time, I wouldn't go. Too cold out, too dark, too tired, can't be bothered. Prefer watching TV.

At the moment, aside from the occasional kids' playdate which seem to have dried up, I generally see people twice a week. D&D supper night, and my WW meeting. I don't think it is enough. But the thing is, I don't really feel like I want to see people. Often when I have the opportunity, I don't. So much easier to just slump at home.

I don't feel like working. I don't feel like exercising. I don't feel like arranging to meet people and have a good time.

Maybe I am a bit depressed.

Sunday, May 20, 2012

Sick again


Early Saturday morning, around dawn, I woke snuggled down in bed -- warm and cosy and just about the most contented I have ever felt in my entire life. I don't know what caused the happy fuzzy feeling but I wish I did. I went back to sleep and ended up sleeping in until 9. Lovely.

The weekend definitely went downhill from there.

I felt moderately unwell the whole weekend, and today as well. Principally fatigue; but also aching neck & shoulders, thighs, and lower back. I sat around all weekend, doing nothing. It was disappointing because Tim & I were supposed to go to our first ballroom dancing lesson on Sunday.

No exercise, and I even drove the kids to school this morning instead of walking. Urg. I feel yuck.

I seem to have had a similar ailment a few times lately. In a positive light, I haven't been nearly as sick as some people so maybe I'm catching the germs going round but fighting them off. Autumn seems to be the real danger time here in Canberra, especially with young children. Everyone passes the germs around at school and then brings them home.

Friday, May 18, 2012

An old post I found hiding

Tuesday (I found this draft from 3 Jan 2012 so I'm posting it even though it is very old):

Tim went back to work today. He has been doing most of the child-wrangling and a lot of the housework over the festive season so I could work (read, read, read); but now I am on my own. I am certainly not getting as much reading done!

I didn't sleep well last night, summer has finally hit here after a cool and rainy December. I don't like the heat and really struggle to sleep and to work. Luckily we have air con, so I can at least cool down in the lounge room.

Today has involved 40 mins editing work, 30 mins Kinect Dance with the kids, dozing off while trying to read, making lunch, dozing off while trying to read (again), then the grocery shopping.

The shopping trip deserves a bit of a rant. First day back after a long weekend so the shops were quite crowded. We parked a long way from the doors and it was a hot trudge through the car park. Queued at the post office, queued at the bank only to find a cheque hadn't cleared yet so I didn't have much money in that account, no fantasy calendars at the first calendar stall. Upstairs to another calendar stall, grabbed last dragon one. Yay. 40% off -- because we are a whole three days into the NY? Excellent. Walked all the way to the other end of the shopping centre to the newsagent to buy a business diary. Found a nice one. Another win.

Then things started to go a bit wrong. The kids and I were all a little tired by now, and hungry. I didn't buy anything for myself as I didn't think there were any good choices handy -- I would have bought a banana but there were only green ones at the fruit shop -- but I got Jasmine a sushi roll and Aiden an expensive ham & cheese pastry from the bread shop where I also asked for a loaf of bread ... then found I had no cash left. Just enough for Aiden's pastry. The kids ate while I queued at the auto teller for my other bank. Jasmine found she couldn't eat her sushi -- she only likes the rice & the nori wrapping, she pulled all the cucumber filling out but it had some kind of green sauce tainting the whole thing. So into the bin. Waste, and she is still hungry, but I was not willing to spend even more money when hopefully we would be home soon. Get to auto teller. My card is not in my wallet. Drag kids back to last place I used it, the newsagent. They give me my card.

Back to queue at the auto teller again, then the bread shop to get the loaf, and finally into Woolworths to do a couple of days worth of grocery shopping. To find the shelves half-empty. It was weird, I assume a horde of people descended this morning after the long weekend and they hadn't been able to restock. I was too tired (and bit cranky) to face going back to the fruit shop or another supermarket; so I literally grabbed the last capsicum, the last half a broccoli, the last 4 or 5 snow peas at the bottom of the tray. The grapes and watermelon were really old and yuck, no peaches ... Anyway, we'll make do. At least they had plenty of salad vegetables, and the meat I wanted.

Hiked back through the car park in the heat, drove home in stinking hot car, put the perishables in the fridge, got kids drinks icecreams (hmm, it seems to end here...)

Thursday, May 17, 2012

WW weigh-in 12: 76.8 kg; down 0.4 kg


Incredibly, I am down 0.4 kg since a fortnight ago! My weight had crept up most of that first week, got it down a bit, then up again while we were away, down a whole kg these last two days since we got home. If only I could be consistent!

In hindsight, although we ate out a lot last week I rarely ate the whole meal. In fact, aside from a couple of breakfasts and the two McDonald's visits, I would say I generally ate around half of what was on my plate. I stopped when I was full. I only had dessert twice, hardly anything between meals, three alcoholic drinks. So I actually did really well under the circumstances. Without struggling or even thinking much about it -- even better! Instead of stuffing myself, because it was delicious or expensive or in front of me, I ate as much as I needed then stopped. I avoided the uncomfortable over-stuffed feeling I am so familiar with from the past. Go me!

The meeting today was about breakfast, renewing my committment to find something filling and healthy. I copied down a recipe for wholewheat pancakes with ricotta and berries. Only half a dozen people there today, but a really friendly and chatty meeting. Very enjoyable. And one of our leaders (the one that weighs us in not the one who talks and I'm afraid I've forgotten her name) just had a photo shoot to be in the WW magazine as a success story so that is awesome. Can't wait to see the 30 kg heavier "before" photo as she is so slender now it is hard to believe.

I did the grocery shopping and included a Jarrah hot chocolate trial pack with different varieties. I love hot chocolate but usually make it with milk and it turns out about 6 PP, you make this one with hot water and it is 2 PP. I had one (dark Belgian decadence) after lunch and it was really nice. Not watery at all. A lot of warming chocolately taste for the same PP as a freddo frog or mini Milky Way.

Speaking of water/milk, I have seen from a few sources that I should probably try making porridge with water rather than milk. I'll give it a go one day. I also bought quinoa flakes today, since I like quinoa so much, that you can use to make a kind of porridge.

I didn't end up buying the 5 kg/5% reward charm as I was only that low for one day, but I hope to get down to that again this week. And then ...

As everyone knows these days, goals have to be SMART: specific, measurable, attainable, ... um ... ok I looked it up and there are a few variations but I'll go with realistic and time-bound.

There is just over six weeks to my 42nd birthday, and no major obstacles between now and then. I want to lose 5.6 kg, nearly a kg a week. I admit my past record makes this a big target, but attainable nevertheless. Aim high! 5.6 kg would take me to 72.2 kg (at WW), and my 10% weight loss.

How am I going to achieve this? In essence, follow the WW plan. Stick to my points, exercise. Fruit for snacks, lots of vegetables to bulk out meals, limited treats. In particular I need to work on: breakfast (I have a few ideas to try as I've mentioned); drinking six glasses a day -- this is a constant struggle for me; and exercise -- I want to earn 10 activity PP five days a week. Yesterday this meant 50 mins of Zumba (moderate level exercise -- the Kinect says I burned more than 900 calories which is ridiculous, more like 400 at the very most and the WW formula probably gave me 200), 30 mins of Just Dance 3 (moderate, I am slowly working on getting 5 stars in everything), and 40 mins of walking (low). Of course I could also spend a lot less time doing a higher level of intensity.

I can do this. I can lose weight, even while going to restuarants and parties. I can make time for exercise. I can do it!

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Thirteen meals


We just spent four days away. I had a lovely time but my eating definitely wasn't on plan.

The drive to Sydney takes a bit over three hours, not including stops, and we went Friday afternoon/evening; stopping at McDonald's on the way. The next morning we had bacon and eggs at my mum's. Well, sort of. My mum is a terrible cook, probably mainly because she has sinus problems and no sense of smell. She also always underestimates how much people will eat. The scrambled eggs were burnt well beyond the point that even my polite husband could stomach, so we had a morsel of bacon each and some toast. The only available topping for the toast was vegemite.

Anyway; that behind us, Tim & I left the kids with mum and set off for our day out. It was our ten year wedding anniversary and we had a full day planned. After Tim was forced to choose between wife number 1 (me) and Karen (the GPS), we ended up taking a bit of a detour over Sydney Harbour Bridge but eventually made it to our hotel. We left the car there and went to Darling Harbour, a touristy area with the acquarium and Chinese Gardens and lots of shops and restaurants. We decided to visit the Madame Toussaude's waxworks (I didn't even know we had one in Australia) which turned out to be great. The models were much more realistic than I expected and most of them looked startlingly like the people they were copied from. We decided there were at least two teams of artists as some -- while looking realistically human -- didn't look much like the people they were supposed to be. I sat on the couch with Oprah and cuddled Johnny Depp and wore a crown next to Queen Elizabeth. Then we went to a lovely waterside restaurant to have lunch. The garlic bread was amongst the best I have ever had, then I had the duck and wild mushroom gnocchi which was delicious but too filling to eat more than half, and a glass of the nicest wine I have had for ages. For dessert we wandered along to the Lindt chocolate shop where we had a macaroon each and bought some Lindor balls for later, flavours you don't see in the supermarket. I had seen macaroons on MasterChef but never tried one, we agreed they were ok but nothing amazing. Sort of gooey cookies.

It was time for the matinee so we went to the Sydney Opera House -- those iconic sails on the harbour -- for a performance of Macbeth. It wouldn't have been our first choice for an anniversary outing, a big production muscial or a dance show would have been more fun, but we both like Shakespeare and it turned out to be very good. We had some of the Lindor balls at interval then a cup of tea afterwards before heading back to the hotel.

Present time! I gave Tim ballroom dancing lessons every Sunday afternoon. He often says he wants to do something together and we have enjoyed dancing in the past but kids interrupted all that sort of thing. The kids are old enough now to sit at the side with their Nintendo DSs. He gave me an iPhone! Yay! It was really difficult not to take it down to dinner.

The receptionist talked me into dining at the hotel and gave us a 20% off voucher, although Tim remained dubious. It is the first time I have been given an iPad by the waiter and told to order my own meal! Tim's reservations turned out to be well deserved, they served us the wrong meal (and it wasn't us, we ordered correctly, the waiter checked) and then Tim had to chase down the side salad we had ordered. We insisted on getting the correct meal so we had another long wait, they gave us a free glass of wine each but it wasn't very nice. All this meant that we had little time to freshen up before our next event, which was the Aurealis Awards.

I was one of the judges for the Fantasy Novel category. The dress varied from formal to fairly casual (I dressed up) and at my suggestion Tim wore his pirate costume. He was the only person in costume so got quite a lot of attention which was great. There was even some kind of documentory about speculative fiction in Australia being filmed so he could appear in the background of that! We skipped the after-show party and went back to our room.

Sunday was Mothers' Day. We had the hotel buffet breakfast which was really lovely. The day before I had only eaten a portion of my meals, I think my stomach was used to a bit less food, but I was able to eat quite a lot of breakfast. But I stopped before I got uncomfortable. We drove back to my mum's to rescue her from taking care of the children, and took her out to lunch. Another restaurant. It was ok, and I ate about half my meal. Still full from breakfast. We hung around mum's house -- I explored my iPhone -- then went to my grandad's house for the big family Mothers' Day/Poppa's birthday dinner. With cake. Slept at mum's again, on the horrible narrow hard futon sofa-bed.

Monday morning we headed off to Cronulla, a southern suburb of Sydney, to a hotel on the beach. The kids played on the sand, and even a bit in the edges of the water as it was a warm morning although it got cold in the afternoon and we spent some time at the park and in the hotel room watching TV. Crepes for lunch, Thai for dinner. No exercise for me other than a bit of walking around. While the others were on the beach I sat on the rocks. Although I love the concept of the beach, I have realised that in actual fact I hate sand, cold water, big waves, sharks, seaweed, jellyfish, and sunburn. So my ideal beach holiday is to sit in the warm shade with a view of the ocean, with a cocktail and a book.

Tuesday morning we met my brother-in-law and his wife for breakfast at a cafe. Bacon, eggs, and some of Jasmine's pancake with cream and maple syrup. My stomach had now expanded to be able to fit lots in. A play in the park, then it was the reason we had stayed in Sydney the extra couple of days; Tim's grandmother's funeral. Apart from the slight worry that my children were very bored over the hour and a half (although they were, as always, angelic), it was a lovely event. Tim made a speech and his brother and cousins sang. All of his side of the family was there.

We hadn't had lunch after our late big breakfast but there was an afternoon tea after the ceremony that was plentiful and varied enough to count as a meal. Chatting with family and an old friend, there with her new baby, was one of many highlights of the trip.

Finally the drive home, with McDonald's again on the way.

The only ones of those thirteen meals that weren't too big and/or plain unhealthy were probably the two breakfasts at my mum's. And no exercise. I left here last Friday feeling rather happy with my appearance, got back Tuesday night feeling bloated and flabby, with a bucket full of good resolutions that fell at the first hurdle today.

I weighed myself at home this morning, 76.8 kg, up about half a kg over the four days and more than a kg since my last WW weigh-in. I walked the kids to school, then came home to find the power off. Only after some confusion did I remember that letter we got saying the power would be off all day for the second time in two weeks. No Kinect exercises. No kettle for tea. No computer work or games. No way to prepare myself a healthy lunch from the very few ingredients left in the house. No HEAT. It is well below freezing at night now and pretty cold during the day. I went to a cafe but the tea was horrible and the baby at the next table smelled of vomit. I did the grocery shopping -- lots of fresh fruit and vegetables -- and came home to huddle under a blanket and read The Hunger Games -- which I enjoyed very much.

My food today was ok until I got to the three Lindor balls this evening. And no exercise again. Luckily tomorrow is another day.

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Dress shopping


I hated that porridge. It was still tasteless glue. So breakfast is still a struggle every morning. This morning I had an orange and two kiwifruit, cut up and mixed together, and it was yummy and refreshing -- but I am starting to get hungry already an hour and half later.

In other news, I didn't get my weight-loss charm because I was only under 75 kg for that one day last week, I'm up nearly a kg since then. I've been eating too much and not exercising much, so it is very understandable. It is very cold here, below zero at night, and I'm wanting to comfort eat all the time. Also there have been a few events -- two kids' birthday parties and our regular weekly D&D supper and lunch out twice. But I haven't shown much restraint at all. And this weekend is going to be a big one, so I have to be extra careful to be good for the next few days.

This weekend is our ten year wedding anniversary, and the Aurealis Awards night (I was a judge), and Mother's Day. And Tim's grandmother died on Monday so her funeral will be soon. And at none of these events are jeans and a T-shirt emblazoned with "My imaginary friend thinks you have problems" appropriate attire. So yesterday I went shopping.

I found a nice red everyday top and some leggings straight away (I only wear leggings under a winter dress with boots, I do not think overweight people should ever wear them as trousers! What are they thinking! Clothes that cling to and highlight every bulge and bump??) but I really needed a dress. I tried on one that looked beautiful on the mannequin but was not quite as flattering on me. I considered it for a while. After all, I am overweight. I can't expect to look like a model. Maybe this is as good as it gets. I decided to come back to it if I needed to.

Then I went into Table Eight. And found a store full of clothes that I looked fabulous in! I tried on about ten things and honestly could have bought all of them, but of course many were quite similar to eat other and I didn't need that many things. I ended up with five items. For the formal Aurealis Awards, a black knee-length dress with lace sleeves that is the most flattering thing I have worn for a long time. For my anniversary lunch and show, Mother's Day lunch, and probably the funeral; a dark purple dress in a thick material that skims but doesn't cling with 3/4 sleeves. For everyday, two jewel-bright tops; one blue, one green. I usually stick to pastels in summer and dark colours in winter but these are eye-popping yet lovely. And finally, a coat!

I'd tried on a few coats recently. I own a heavy overcoat that I have had for twenty years and hated for fifteen. It is early-nineties ugly, with huge shoulders and no waist like a miniature rugby player. And only a single button  in the middle, so when I sit down it gapes right up to my waist and doesn't keep my legs warm at all. I wanted something tailored and beautiful, but with my stiff shoulder I just couldn't get them on. I've been wearing big wooly jumpers. Yesterday when I was trying on the purple dress I wasn't even going to try on a coat but the saleslady kept bringing over horrible boxy jackets which looked terrible on me (the only things in the store that did) so I pointed out a trenchcoat sort-of-thing without much hope I'd be able to get it on and off without assistance. She put it on me and it looked so good! Knee length and belted at the waist, you could just see a thin line of the purple dress at the bottom and then my long boots. I felt so amazing, with a curvy and feminine shape but not fat. I really really wanted it. So I tried to take it off alone. And then put it back on again. Easy!

My left shoulder has had a little more movement lately, I can suddenly almost reach the small of my back with my thumb, and I guess the coat material isn't really stiff. Anyway, I bought it of course. It is a bit lighter and thinner than my old overcoat (and shorter) but I think it will be enough. I have shown it off to everyone already with good results.

So, whether it was that particular shop, or the loss of four/five kilos (around ten pounds), I am feeling pretty happy with how I look in my new clothes.

Now to lose another five kilos before I need a new summer wardrobe!

Friday, May 4, 2012

WW weigh-in 11: 77.2 kg; down 1 kg


Back down to 77.2 kg at WW. I was a little surprised to only lose 1 kg, considering I was down 1.9 kg mid-week, but it is TTOM and I have been eating a bit too much chocolate as well as retaining water or whatever. Anyway, 1 kg is great.

The meeting was about ... um ... oh, I know, planning for eating out. Advice about looking at menus online and deciding what to eat before you get there, avoiding deep fried and creamy foods or extras like bread rolls. We had a look through the WW restaurant book and a few things were surprising. Like you often expect seafood to be the healthier option, but a seafood burrito was much higher in PP than a beef one -- it probably had a creamy sauce rather than a tomatoey one. The highest point item I found (apart from 69 PP for 300 mL of some kind of sauce but who has more than a cup of sauce in one sitting?) was the French bean casserole cassoulet which was 29 PP -- more than my whole day's allowance. Lucky I don't like beans.

It was a slightly unusual day. I had been warned by my eletricity provider that power would be off from 9 until 4 so I planned to stay away from the heaterless computerless house. It got down to below freezing last night and after walking the kids to school I was feeling chilly and hoping for a hot cup of tea before I went out. The power was still on when I walked into the house at 9.10, I turned on the kettle ... about 5 seconds later the power went off. Damn.

After my WW meeting I went to the shopping centre. I had finished reading a book the day before and decided to buy one and sit in a cafe, but my bookstore didn't have any of the three I particularly wanted. I bought a different one after quite a lot of deliberation -- at least I wasn't in a hurry -- and then wandered around the centre and bought the kids some new winter pyjamas & stuff before sitting with a cup of tea. Had a failure of communication there where I didn't get any milk but got that sorted. Went and had all the hair ripped out of my armpits with hot wax. I don't usually really enjoy chatting to beauticians and hairdressers and the like, it's all just boring small-talk, but this girl and I managed a fun chat that included her fear of mice and how snakes could get caught in a hen house because they couldn't fit back through the wire after swallowing the eggs whole.

Back to the shops and tried on a few clothes with no success. There were some beautiful winter coats but I still can't easily get into them due to my stiff shoulder. There has been a recent big improvement, I can now almost touch the small of my back with my left thumb, but I can't still put on my own bra or -- as I discovered today -- put on a fitted coat. I had lunch at Subway then did the grocery shopping. Although I did University-level mathematics, today I calculated that 10.30--2.30 was 3 hours and I tried to leave without paying for parking, neccessitating the person behind me backing up and me doing an eight-point turn to get out of the exit lane so I could go back and pay. Anyway, finally home just before child pick-up time to find the power had recently come back on (the CD player was part-way through Cher's greatest hits). Got the heater on and strolled out to fetch progeny. My neighbour Ian, raking autumn leaves in his front yard, asked if I had checked my mail today. Apparently we are having another power outage Wednesday week! His neighbour on the other side is quite irate as they are all down with the flu and sitting in a freezing house isn't helping. Although, now that I think about it, they have an open fire than stinks up the neighbourhood so I'm not sure what they are complaining about.

All of my food today has been a little bit too much -- all the meals a bit bigger than they should have been and then Cadbury's brought out a new variety of chocolate that I bought today but was going to save until I had the PP for it. Ahem. It was very good.

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Odd-tasting tea


After eating too much at my regular Tuesday-night supper (18 PP worth!) my weight is up a little bit today and back over 75 kg, but I am determined to get it back down by tomorrow and forever. As I was saying to another blogger who was worrying about treats, you have to allow for little indulgences or you won't stick to the diet. But 18 PP is rather too much. I'm still a work in progress. Before that I had eaten exactly my 26 PP for the day -- of the last five days I had only gone over once, by 2 PP, which I think is excellent. Until last night, anyway.

I have been working on a little domestic puzzle for a while. When I have tea at my friend Caroline's house, it often tastes unpleasant. I didn't like to say anything -- although we are good friends I am spectacularly bad at that kind of thing -- but it was often a struggle to drink it. I continued accepting tea because it wasn't always bad. I assumed at first she was giving me a flavoured tea, like Earl Grey or Irish Breakfast; but no, she would ask me "normal tea"? so I ruled that out. Then I thought an odd brand; but I saw the packet recently and it was a brand I often buy. Also normal milk, so she wasn't getting unpasturised goat's milk or anything. I trust her to give me a clean mug! It was a mystery. Until the pieces all came together.

When family was visiting last week I was unpleasantly surprised to find coffee granules in my sugar bowl. Tim and I don't drink coffee, but my mother and brother do. I hate coffee, I even hate the smell. But coffee drinkers think nothing of using a spoon to scoop their instant coffee granules into their cup and then the same spoon to get their sugar, leaving behind some nasty brown grains.

Caroline is a coffee drinker. And I have sugar in my tea. So there you go, mystery solved.

Now, what do I do about it? I love sitting with a cup of tea, especially as we move into winter, and particularly now I am turning down any biscuits or other unhealthy food offered. But I don't like coffee-flavoured tea at all. I think I might be comfortable enough to jokingly mention it and ask for sugar straight from the bag instead of the bowl. The problem with that is, if I mention it she will know that I have been putting up with coffee-flavoured tea for years! I don't want her to feel bad. I am not a particularly shy or socially-anxious person, but I do not like being in the situation of making someone else feel bad.

OMG. The drains have been starting to get clogged with tree roots as they do every couple of years and the plumber just arrived with his "eel". I took him outside and he opened the drain and a huge amount of filthy water came pouring out (over one of his boots). When I say filthy, I mean it included lots of fully-formed poo as well as toilet paper. Rushing down the path and onto the lawn. And the smell! Well, you can imagine. It won't hurt the lawn, but I might ban the kids from going out there for a couple of days. I'm hoping the plumber will hose down the path a bit. The things those guys have to deal with! I'm not overly squeamish about human waste, I dealt with years of nappies, but the smell was pretty bad. I think I can still smell it, inside and right up the other end of the house. I hope the neighbours don't complain.

The moral is, don't wait until the toilets are glubbing and burping before getting your drains cleared.