Rowing like an Olympian

Tuesday:

I did BodyPump yesterday and increased my weight for the squats and the back track. Then in the afternoon during Club Gecko I got on the rowing machine again. I realised just as we got to the gym that I could watch the Olympic highlights on the 4pm repeat show if I walked on the treadmill, but after a brief struggle with myself I rowed first -- where I couldn't plug into TV sound and I couldn't see the TV on the Olympic channel except on the back stretch of my row if I leaned back a bit. I did 12 minutes again and improved my distance to 1.97 km (so close to my goal of 2 km! I really sprinted at the end) before jumping on the treadmill for a slow 15 min walk and some Olympic viewing.

Australians have been doing really well in the rowing so there has been a lot of coverage, and this morning I did some research. By coincidence, all races are 2 km; about the same distance I am doing at the moment. I had no idea that was the case, and I've even been a bit frustrated that they never announce before a race how long it will be; it is easier to get excited when you know the finish line is coming up. But they are all a standard 2000 meters these days.

The single women's sculls, the most comparable to me on my machine, were being won in a bit under 8 mins. The losers go over that, of course. I am going to call it 8 mins for convenience; that is a speed of 15 kmph. It takes me 12 mins to go (very close to) the same distance at my speed of (nearly) 10 kmph. I am 2/3 the speed of an Olympian! I think that is awesome! Especially considering I have only been doing this for a week. There are not many sports I could claim to be 2/3 as good as an Olympian. If I moved to a country with no history of rowing maybe I could make the team, like that swimmer a couple of Olympics ago who could barely swim the whole distance and came in a couple of minutes after the rest of the competitors.

Oh, and I heard a commentator say that the rowers (in this case I think it was 4 men) were doing 35 strokes per minute, which is the same as I do on the machine when I am sprinting. So I have that at Olympic standard too. Sort of. For about 30 seconds.

Of course I have no idea, despite my attempts at research, how a rowing machine compares to being in a real boat. I have the resistance set to 5 out of 10, but I read that the drag on a real boat is proportional to your weight so I don't know what 5 out of 10 means in real terms.

Anyway, all this so cool.

No gym today, as Tim has the car; and also my dad is visiting.

photo by Singapore 2010 Youth Olympic Games

Sunday weigh-in; 77.9 kg, down 0.6 kg

Sunday:

I've made my new home weigh-in Sunday, partly because it seems like a logical kind of day and partly because last Sunday was my highest weight (78.5) in recent months so it seemed like a good place to work my way down from. I've had a week of plenty of exercise but also far too much unhealthy food; luckily the exercise seems to have won and I'm down more than half a kg to 77.9.

I haven't been to the gym since Thursday, on Friday my body was really tired and I just wanted to rest it, yesterday I was suffering from both the physical and the emotional issues of PMS. Although in my case is it more "during" rather than "pre-" MS. I had a very greasy salty dinner and felt much better.

The Olympics have started and I've been watching avidly. Of course we're on the other side of the world, here, so the events are going all night Australia-time; but we watch live coverage in the evening and then see highlights on the following day. One channel has almost 24 hour Olympics, a 3 hour break in the middle of the day and half an hour of news in the evening -- although of course the news is also quite Olympic-centric. Edit: turns out this was wrong, we have 6.30pm-9.00am live coverage but then only a 2 hour highlight show during the day - they just repeat it morning and afternoon which fooled me.

I noticed yesterday evening that I'd only had two cups of tea and no other liquid all day. I still need to work on that! I just don't feel thirsty or think of drinking, but as soon as I start drinking I realise how thirsty I actually am. Maybe I need to set up a reminder on my phone or something. Sirri, help me!

More rowing

Thursday:

All muscle soreness was gone today and so was most of the uncontrollable hunger. I was pretty tired from all the exercise and a couple of unsettled nights where the kids kept waking up, but at least I wasn't eating all day! Well ... not quite all day.

I had a doctor appointment today to get a prescription repeat, and in the waiting room I was reading a women's health magazine. They suggested eating protein at afternoon tea time to get you through the afternoon. Try 100g of almonds, they said. Really? 100g of nuts as a little snack? I calculate that to be 600 calories, about half the daily allowance of a woman watching her calorie intake. The magazine was a few months old, I wonder if anyone had ever pointed out the mistake, and if they had bothered to correct it in a later issue.

The doctor took my blood pressure (good, as always) and put me on the scales -- 78 kg, the same as this morning at home. He wasn't my usual doctor so talked about my family history a bit; and because my dad is now borderline diabetic and I had gestational diabetes during my second pregnancy, he wants me to have a test every two years. I had one a couple of years after Aiden was born but he is 5 1/2 now. So I need to organise that. I don't think I have any symptoms, but I am in a high risk category. When I did the test when pregnant (you fast and then drink a bottle of high-sugar liquid) I reacted very strongly and had to lie down through most of the two hour monitoring period -- and I had diabetes. The next time I did the test, when I was back to normal, I felt fine the whole time. So I might know the result before the doctors do.

I took the kids to Gecko in the afternoon but -- oh horror -- both the good rowing machines were taken! There are two on the upper floor, next to windows overlooking the pool. They are also closest to where the kids are having their exercise class so I would be more easily found if needed. There are two more downstairs with exciting views of the sweaty behinds of people on the treadmills. So I got on a treadmill for 5 minutes and happily one of the upstairs rowing machines was free by then. I had planned to do 21 mins again and try for a better distance than yesterday, so I went out hard. And was exhausted within minutes. Whether it was rowing fatigue, general tiredness, or just that I was pushing myself harder, I don't know. But I only made it to 12 minutes; 1.93 km which I think is a bit better than last time. I finished off with a cooldown on the treadmill. Overall, today was unintentionally a bit of a rest day for my body.

photo by Shelby PDX. I remembered!

Personal Trainers

Wednesday:

I was really sore yesterday afternoon, especially the fronts of my thighs; lowering myself into a sitting position was a challenge and walking down a slope quite painful. But this morning most of the pain & stiffness was gone and I was back at BodyPump. I managed to get there in time, despite some parking issues, and again got throught the class ok except for the lunges -- although I did a little better there today. When I really think about it, my "ok" includes various compromises due to my old shoulder injury; for instance I do push-ups on the wall instead of the floor and my bar has no weights on it for the chest presses. I can't rest a bar on my shoulders because my arms don't twist back far enough for me to support it, so I hold a plate pressed to my chest instead. I do what I can and modify what I can't. On Monday the instuctor said "good variation" to me 3 or 4 times during the class.

Today the (different) instructor was demonstrating the clean & press move and said "everybody's favourite" and I think she was being sarcastic. But it really is my favourite move!

I spent the rest of the school day editing and finished the current job. Always nice to email one off.

I was ravenously hungry again all day and failed to make great choices. I was really tired too, understandable perhaps after four gym sessions in three days. After the kids got home I was weak-willed and gave Jasmine the option of whether we should go to Club Gecko or not, she wanted to go so it was back to the gym. I got straight on to the rowing machine. I decided to go for a longer row rather than push for more speed, so I ended up doing 21 minutes (I am working on increments of 3 minutes because my goal of 5 km in 30 mins means 500 m every 3 minutes -- it's just easier to work out how I'm going). It's the longest row I've ever done but yesterday I looked at a you-tube video of rowing technique and I think it helped. I was pretty comfortable until my trapezius muscles started to hurt. If I'd been going at my goal speed I would have gone 3.5 km in 21 mins but I only made 2.89 km which is way under. I'll get there, I'm only starting this challenge!

I've been noticing a few personal trainers around the gym, but none of them make me think I really need one. There is a cute young guy who sometimes brings his client to a treadmill near mine when I am cooling down, and I feel very unimpressive at my slow walk. I've been working really hard before this, honest! My least favourite pt is an older, very attractive and fit woman. I've seen her chat in a very friendly way with her various clients, stand around while they exercise, check her phone ... she sets up the machines for them with the right weights but I've never seen much in the way of motivation or encouragement or pushing them. Maybe she does stuff I haven't seen, but it looks like a waste of money to me.

Rowing

Tuesday:

Yesterday I went to BodyPump. Since I hadn't done it for about six months I used light weights and it was a decent challenge without being too painful. I thought I had plenty of time to get there but when I came out of the changeroom they were half-way through the warm-up, this happened again today and I've realised that I used to drive the kids to school then go straight to the gym; now I walk the kids to school, walk home, then drive to the gym, so obviously that is going to take a lot longer. It is do-able but I am going to have to hussle. Anyway; I was able to do all the moves except the lunges, and only the shoulder track gave my shoulders any problems so that was great.

I was hungry after the gym but had to do the shopping on the way home. I foolishly didn't buy myself an immediate snack, and by the time I got home it was lunchtime and I was ravenous, leading to poor food choices. I just shoved everything I could get my hands on into my cake-hole.

In the afternoon I took the kids back to the gym for their Club Gecko class and I got on the rowing machine. I did 15 minutes, which I think might be the longest I've ever done on the rower. I went 2.11 km and decided my target will be to do 5 km in 30 minutes, meaning I'll need to speed up a bit as well increasing my stamina. I finished up with a short stroll on the treadmill. Including walking the kids to school, that was over 2 hours of exercise. Awsome.

On the other hand, I ate nearly a whole bag of crispy m&ms.

This morning I was a little stiff and sore but not too bad. Mainly my thighs, from the squats in BodyPump I think. I went to Zumba, but was reminded why I don't like it any more. It was the same instructor that I've always had, and she is completely opposite my preferences in which dances we do. She goes for the hiphop and the heavy angry African rhythms, I like the Latin and the Bollywood. She puts sexy wriggles in otherwise really aggressive moves. To me, sexy doesn't go with "I hate you and I will kill you if you come any closer". I stuck it out for half an hour, telling myself that vigorous movement was good regardless of whether I was enjoying it or not,  but then I gave up and left the class. I went back to the rowing machine. I guess that is my new exercise-love! I was absolutely dying to get back on that rower.

I thought today I would try to increase my speed and do 2.5 km in 15 minutes. After 4 minutes I was wrecked! I had to slow down a little for a while, but then managed to speed up again. I changed my target to 2 km in 12 minutes and promised myself I could stop after that time. I struggled to keep up the requisite speed but sprinted for the last 30 seconds and eventually went 1.91 km in the 12 mins, pretty close. Not a bad start. I cooled down on the treadmill.

I just got up after sitting still for a while and my thighs are so stiff and sore I can hardly walk! Maybe it is the rowing more than the squats? Or both.

I forgot to mention something about the snow trip that seemed important at the time, the hired ski pants were hard to wriggle on over my hips but fit just fine when I was standing, but I found on the drive to the snow that they were very uncomfortable when I was sitting down. They cut into my waist, and a three hour drive in that kind of discomfort is no joke. It was such a relief to get out of the car and stand up. I thought they would be ok once we were there, but of course tobogganing involves sitting down too -- and even leaning forward a bit so it was worse. I tried wrigging them below my belly but of course my hips aren't any narrower than my waist so it just moved the pain. After a while I was hitching them up then pulling them down again every few minutes, and standing around instead of sitting on the rocks or tobogganing. Eventually I just couldn't stand it any longer and went back to the car to change my clothes before the rest of my family were ready to go. Such joy to get those horrible pants off! It was pretty cold in jeans but I didn't care.

If my stomach wasn't so big I wouldn't have had that problem. I'm still working on it.

Skip and snow

Sunday:

Last Tuesday we had a skip delivered and we spent a couple of hours filling it with junk from the garage and "studio" (the old garage converted into spare bedroom and junk room, unfortunately not connected to the house so it is not heated or cooled and doesn't have a bathroom for guests but still very useful). The skip looked big when empty but it filled up very quickly and we still have plenty of things we could have got rid of, but we did some good clearing. All the old broken baby stuff like the change table and pram, old bed that the kids have used as a trampoline for years even though we have a real trampoline, bookcase and chest of drawers that we broke apart to compact (that was quite fun), a couple of hundred taped-off-TV video cassettes, broken bike, unfolded moving boxes that have been getting dusty in the garage for seven years ... we now have a neat nearly-empty garage and a bit more room in the studio which is excellent. And it was good exercise too.

There were a lot of things that we didn't want that were too good to throw away that I was planning to give to charity, and by a great good fortune a friend contacted me yesterday to ask if I had any stuff to donate -- she is even going to pick it up to delivery it for me! So her local nursing home trash & treasure is going to get a lot of books and toys and two bicycles that are too small for our kids, and I don't even have to lug it all to the local Salvo's. Awesome.

On Wednesday my health crashed again -- hopefully for the last time with this stupid illness as I've been well since then -- and I spent the day slumping in front of the TV or resting in bed.

Thursday we went to the snow. Our children had never seen snow even though we don't live far from NSW's ski slopes (such as they are). Last year we drove to the nearest place that sometimes gets snow but there wasn't any, this year we hired proper warm snow gear and boots and toboggans and drove the three hours to Jindabyne. It was a lovely day for it, not too cold or windy. We were snug and warm in our hired gear (when I changed into normal winter clothes for the drive home I noticed the difference!) and it was a good day. Aiden looked gorgeous in his little snow suit. I wasn't sure about the tobogganing as I am scared of heights and don't particularly like going fast, but I started from halfway down the smallest hill and gradually built up and I was fine. Good exercise from trudging back up the slope. I can't say a really enjoyed tobogganing all that much, just not my kind of thing, but I did it and it was ok. Tim and the kids had a great time. The children were so excited to see little patches of snow beside the road, then bigger areas, and finally whole hillsides of white.

Haven't done much since then. Due to my habit of trying to squeeze in work from repeat customers despite vowing not to work in school holidays, I've had to do a bit of editing. Today is the end of the school holidays, so tomorrow it's back into a proper routine. Back to work and back to the gym!

I've relaxed my eating since quitting Weight Watchers and haven't exercised as much as I planned, my weight has crept up a little more but that mainly happened while I was still officially on WW but not following it properly. This morning I was 78.5 kg. I am not going back to calorie counting or stressing too much about food, but obviously I can't do nothing or I will be back to where I started a year ago pretty quickly. What I need to do is focus more on what I should be eating rather than what I shouldn't. I need to return to eating my two fruits and five vegetables every day, and drink my water. Eat the healthy food first, then have treats if I'm still hungry. And, of course, exercise regularly.

Tim and I have been drinking alcohol nearly every day this week, apple cider, which is very unusual for us and that will need to go back to being an occasional thing. Tastes nice though. Can't say that about many alcoholic drinks.

I'm so glad to be finally feeling better, and this time it's lasted for four days. My mum is better, too, after being sick for about three weeks. And Aiden's nose has finally stopped running. Welcome health!

Back at the gym

Monday:

This Club Gecko thing is awesome, it makes me go to the gym! While I'm there for the kids I might as well exercise.

On Friday I was supposed to go to a BodyPump class and had booked the kids into creche but I was feeling too yuck in the morning. I continued coughing all day, much worse than the previous few days, and at one point I had such a nasty coughing fit that I actually wet my pants. Luckily I was at home. This has happened twice before (both since having kids), during a really bad prolonged coughing fit each time. I guess my pelvic floor is yet another muscle I need to work on.

On Saturday and Sunday I was feeling a lot better, much less coughing, just a sore throat from the post-nasal drip of a continuing runny nose. I didn't leave the house all weekend, had a nice quiet time with the family. Sunday was a particularly freezing day, but all accounts. Sunday night, after I went to bed, I started coughing again; keeping me and Tim awake for ages. It is very frustrating that this stupid flu just goes on and on.

Today I felt a lot better (again). Took the kids to Club Gecko in the afternoon which gave me an hour and a half at the gym. I walked on the treadmill for an hour, with a tiny bit of jogging (plus I ran a couple of races with Aiden while we waited for the Gecko instructor), then 10 mins each on the rowing machine and the stationary bike. I was quite tired and sweaty by the end. I didn't push really hard, but I did get 80 mins of exercise in. I was starving when we got home and ate too many biscuits with my cup of tea. On the whole I call it a win.

Tomorrow we are having a skip delivered so that we can do a garage/studio cleanup so I expect to do quite a bit of strength work throwing old furniture into it.

Dust and creme brulee

Thursday:

Library and shopping this morning. This afternoon I tackled the laundry. Not the piles of clean or dirty clothes, but the laundry room. I took everything out and threw away a lot of broken pieces of this and that, swept seven years of dust off the walls and shelves, vaccuumed and mopped the floor, put back the things that deserved to go back. It was a filthy, unpleasant job, but with the reward of having a clean and tidy room at the end of my work.

Yesterday evening I started to cough again, woke this morning full of phelgm and spent the first hour hacking up a lung, felt fine all day, now it is evening again and the cough is back. I just can't get rid of this stupid virus. But why doesn't it affect me during the day?

It's our monthaversary today. Tim and I have always tried to have a special night once a month to celebrate our wedding (and before that, our first date). Since having kids it has changed from going out to a restaurant to trying to remember to say "happy monthaversary" at some point during the day. Today I cooked a nice dinner and spent some time this afternoon cooking creme brulee for us to have for dessert. But of course he wasn't home to have dinner with us. I waited for a while in case he made it home for dessert but no. I don't know why I had any hope he would be home before 8 pm. So his lovely dinner sits cold on the plate, his dessert is in the fridge, the wine stayed unopened.

Gluteus maximus

Wednesday:

Yesterday I took the kids to see Ice Age 4: Continental Drift. It was really enjoyable and well worth seeing. Enough interest there even for adults. I recognised some of the voice acting, but was stunned at the end to find that the main bad guy, Captain Gut, was voiced by the man who plays Tyrion Lannister in Game of Thrones. He is my favourite character in GoT but I didn't even feel a twinge of recognition.

We went to the food court for lunch and I had Oporto chicken and chips for the first time in a couple of years. They used to marinate the chicken in Lemon & Herb (or whatever) sauce but now they just give you a plain quarter of roast chicken and a sachet of sauce to squeeze onto it. Not the same thing, people! I think they've done it because they expanded their range from two to six flavours (they actually mainly do burgers) and it would be prohibitive to have six kinds of chicken marinating. That's my guess, anyway. But not happy.

The kids had happy meals from McDonalds. Special school holiday treat.

I spent the afternoon doing a bit of editing work while the kids amused themselves, clearly they didn't get enough exercise because they were very hyperactive at bedtime.

As the evening progressed I was coughing more and more, with a horrible tickle deep in my throat. And this morning I woke with lungs fulls of phlegm. I was really worried that I was coming down with yet another strain of this horrible flu that is going around, but by mid-morning I was feeling fine. I spent the morning working while the kids played PowerUp Heros on the XBox, jumped on the trampoline, and tossed a ball around outside. In the afternoon we went to the gym and they had their Club Gecko class.

I had a much better session today. I started with 20 mins on the cross-trainer, which I haven't used for ages, and did fine. I was a bit annoyed that they had moved all the equipment so that nothing was overlooking the pool anymore, I used to enjoy looking down on the swimmers. The cross-trainers were all pointed at the TVs, none of which were on the channel I wanted to watch. I couldn't hear my iPhone over the music they were playing, so I just listened to that and watched the subtitles on Catalyst about how bad the current flu season is and how many people died of flu in 1918 (between 30 and 100 million people).

I next moved on to the rowing machine which I used for 10 mins, I've had problems rowing in the past due to my shoulder injury and was fully prepared to stop after 5 mins or less if I needed to, but I was fine. On to the stationary bike. I used to use a recumbant bike all the time (where it's like sitting in a chair with pedals in front of you, not sitting on a saddle) and I thought Monday's struggle was just due to general tiredness, but I could barely get the pedals moving. It was weird. After 5 mins I moved to a normal stationary bike which was better as far as the pedalling was concerned. Since having children I have zero core strength which makes riding a bike really hard work, my postural muscles around my ribs started aching straight away but I kept going for another 15 mins. Finally 15 mins on the treadmill before it was time to collect the children.

While I was actually at the gym I felt like I was doing well, pacing myself so that I could keep going for the whole hour and not overstrain my rarely used muscles but still get a decent workout in. But once I was home the little voice started up again. Didn't work hard enough, should have pushed myself more, pacing myself was just an excuse to slack off, how come I only got in 70 mins of exercise when I had 90 mins, why did I go so slow on the treadmill at the end ... I hate that little voice that makes me feel like nothing I do is ever good enough.

But a couple of hours later my glutes started to get sore. So that made me feel like I had done some work after all.

Monday, Monday

Monday:

As usual I didn't want to get out of bed this morning and as it was school holidays I had hopes of a sleep-in; but alas. Aiden came in for a cuddle, which was nice although actually I would have rather continued sleeping; but also to hassle me about my iPhone, which wasn't so nice. He loves to play a little game called Tiny Monsters and I am fine for him to do so with my supervision, but I like playing it too and in the past I have found that he has spent my carefully horded in-game money or started an 18 hour hibernation on a monster I needed or similar disaster. So he is allowed to play it only when I am up (during, of course, his carefully regulated "screen time" for the day). The kids are allowed to turn on the TV and/or computers at 7.30am on weekends and holidays, we don't encourage them to get up before then. And not at all on school days, of course, until late afternoon.

Anyway, so Aiden spent the next hour asking me when I was going to get up while I tried to snuggle down and ignore the little voice. He wasn't interested in TV or computer games or his Nintendo DS; only my iPhone! Eventually I dragged myself up, but carefully without any hint of "giving in" to nagging.

We did both the grocery shopping and some clothes shopping. I got myself three new sports bras to replace my old saggy-elastic ones, some kids clothes, and new school shoes for Aiden. He'd only had the others for six months but he'd been complaining they pinch his toes. I had him fitted for new ones, which he seemed happy with. I commented that they looked a bit smaller than the sneakers he was wearing, but the assistant said they were just a more compact shoe. Got them home, and they are exactly the same as his previous school shoes! Same brand and size. So I'm going to take them back, unworn. Either Aiden was wrong about them being too small or the salesman was wrong about them fitting him. Either way, he doesn't need a pair identical to his other ones.

We rushed home for a late lunch. I made lazy nachos, which was a bad choice under the circumstances, ie just before exercise. Lazy nachos is corn chips with salsa and melted cheese. Delicious, but stodgy and with little nutritional value. I chivvied the kids into a change of clothes and off to the gym. Actually, I was unable to convince Jasmine to change out of her heavy tracksuit pants, but at least I got her into a T-shirt. I knew she would be too hot, but clothes and shoes have always been a bit of an issue. Her choices have little regard for suitability or temperature, and everything has to be too small and too tight. She was much worse at 4; at 8 I can often talk her into a better choice. Well, sometimes.

To continue my ramble, I left the kids with the Gecko leader and got onto the treadmill. Belly full of cheese and corn chips. No energy. Sluggish. Tired calves. Sore feet. Even walking was an effort. I made a brief attempt at riding a bike then went back to the treadmill, eventually clocking up a measley 40 mins. I went and watched the end of the kids' class. They finished with some tug-of war competitions. After pitching the children against each other in teams, the instructor put them all on one end of the rope and took the other. With one arm, and very little effort, he dragged them over the line (after giving them a chance to try, of course). Very unusually for me, I jumped up and grabbed the end of the kids end of the rope and tried, with their help, to give him a bit of competition. I think he had to flex a muscle or two, but basically it wasn't that much harder for him. Unfair. Still, it's about the only thing I felt good about during that visit to the gym -- I took on something non-compulsory and just gave it a go. Normally I would just sit there on my behind and watch other people. Nice work.

Walking

Sunday:

I've been working on trying to get a bit of exercise in every day in spite of Tim not being here to babysit and the freezing weather. Yesterday the kids & I walked to a semi-distant park and I did a couple of laps of the oval, including a bit of jogging, before sitting to play with my iPhone. Today we again waited until after lunch, the warmest part of the day, and went to a closer park. The kids played their new game where they are characters in the computer game SIMS, controlled by someone else who makes them go on the swings and the see-saw etc. I walked laps of the park and up & down the path which is on a slight hill. Both days I did about 40 mins brisk walking with a little jogging yesterday.

I've been feeling much more relaxed about my eating since I decided to leave Weight Watchers. I had been eating junk foods a bit frantically "because I will be good tomorrow" -- a bad mindset to be in. Now I can have a couple of chocolate biscuits instead of the whole packet, because I have no plans to deprive myself tomorrow.

Tim is rarely away overnight and I didn't like it at all. But he is on his way home.

Quitting Weight Watchers

Saturday:

I have been on the Weight Watchers program for five months now, and I wrote a post two months ago saying that I was going to stick with it even though my weight loss was so slow - slow is better than nothing, right? Well over the past week I have been rethinking that decision, and this morning I cancelled my membership.

My lowest weight was nearly two months ago, with a cumulative loss of 3.4 kg. A loss of around a kg a month was slow but still enough to keep me paying the $69 a month. But since then my weight has bounced up and down with no significant loss. This week, after some very indulgent eating, my weight went back up 2.1 kg (4.6 pounds) in 5 days. My total cumulative weight loss over five months with WW is now 1.2 kg.

I'm not blaming WW, I'm sure it works for many. I am the one who makes every decision about what I put in my mouth and how much I exercise. But clearly it is not helping me. It has not inspired me enough to lose weight.

So what is next? Well, I joined the gym last week and I am going to focus on exercise for a while. I need to improve my body fitness. Twice this week I have woken with a very sore upper back, I don't know why, and today I can hardly move my arms without wincing because it pulls on my back muscles. Obviously they are so out of shape that even turning over in my sleep can strain them. I want to feel healthier and sleep better. I don't want to wallow in junk food (like I did this week) but I do want to relax about what I can and can't eat.

All my weigh-ins will now be at home. Today I was 78 kg. I touched 75 kg twice in May and I still want to get back down to that as a first step. Maybe I should stop weighing myself every day. Dunno. But my plan is to exercise a lot. It is school holdiays now and very cold outside but I'll be dragging the kids along to the gym, creche when Gecko isn't on. Can't this weekend as I don't have the car, but hopefully it will warm up enough for us to go to the park and run around this afternoon. Maybe I can lose some weight without feeling deprived and miserable. And a failure.

Arg, I am still clearly focused on my weight. I need some NSVs (non-scale victories). Want to get fit.

Last day of term

Friday:

Yet again, I didn't make it to my Weight Watchers meeting. My excuse was that I didn't have time for breakfast this morning (I was making popcorn for the kids to take to a last-day-of-term party) so I had to have it after walking them to school and then I didn't want to rush eating ... but the other reason was that I have put on about 1 kg this week and didn't want to make it official. Coward.

I did 30 mins on the treadmill yesterday while the kids were doing Gecko but I didn't manage to run this time. It was a bit of a struggle to even walk at a decently brisk pace on a slight incline. Sigh. But I'll just keep at it and get my fitness back. Gecko has two long sessions a week during the school holidays so I will still get to go to the gym.

I was feeling a bit down today, maybe about the weekend. I had been a bit resistant to us going away but eventually got my head around it and we got it all organised. Then mum called yesterday to say she had been/still was really sick, probably with the same flu I had. So she can't take the kids for the weekend. Tim has committed to helping his brother so he is going to go alone while I stay home with the kids. Everyone else is busy and the things I was going to do weren't kid-friendly and we didn't have accomodation for them so it is just easier to stay home. But it means I miss out on some stuff and also don't get to see my husband all weekend and that is usually practically the only time I do see him. And I'm a bit worried about mum with no-one to look after her. But I'm sure she'll rest better without me & the kids there.

Aftermath

Wednesday:

So I ate a lot on my birthday, no regrets, but that night around 10 pm I suddenly got horrible abdominal cramps and spent an unpleasant time on the toilet. I was up at 3 am and then again at 4 am with the same thing, and felt rather delicate all the next morning. So maybe my body wasn't so happy with all that rich fatty food!

What with also being woken by my son at 6 am, I was pretty tired all yesterday. I honestly think I've had about one good night's sleep in the past three weeks. Then last night Tim was blowing his nose all night as he has caught the nasty germs going round. Horrible for him, I am not minimising that (and he had the same problems with me keeping him awake when I was sick), but also fairly unpleasant for me as it was yet another badly broken night. This morning I am wrecked. I am barely functioning.

As an example of my lack of mental function today, when I went to make some toast for breakfast the toaster was a bit far back on the bench. So, even though I had just seen my daughter use it (she must have pushed it back) and indeed had been waiting my turn, I grabbed it and pulled it towards me by HOOKING TWO FINGERS INSIDE THE TOASTER. Ow. I got away with just the tip of one finger burnt on the hot metal. Luckily I didn't touch the actual element inside. Clearly, I was not thinking at all at that moment.

So much I should be doing today, but I just want to sleep. And eat.

Didn't go to Zumba yesterday or Pump this morning, so I still haven't done a class at the gym, but I will do another session on the treadmill this afternoon while the kids are at Gecko.

We had a cool summer and a cold autumn, and now we are having a freezing winter (for Australia); it is well below freezing at night and was still -3C when I was walking the kids to school today. I am worried because it is their athletics carnival today. The school oval is just a swathe of grass with some goal posts, so they walk to a nearby oval that has lanes marked for races and a sandy long-jump pit. It has no shelter or benches or anything like that, apparently the school puts down some mats in house colours for them to sit on. They certainly couldn't sit on the grass, it was covered in frost this morning and will be sopping wet. Aiden, in kindy, will only be there for two hours in the middle of the day so that might not be so bad, but Jasmine will be there all day. Freezing. I made sure she took a little blanket and gloves and beanie, but it will still be pretty unpleasant.

Birthday!

Monday:

I had a really lovely day today, if not a particularly healthy one. It started with presents in bed then croissants for breakfast. After taking the kids to school (I walked!) I went to the movies. There was a bit of a mix-up there, I had seen ads for a movie about Snow White -- a comedy with Julia Roberts as the evil queen. So I saw "Snow White and the Huntsman", which turned out to be a completely different movie, with Kirsten Stewart (Bella from Twilight) as Snow White and Charlize Theron as the evil queen. Why are there two movies about Snow White on at the same time? This one was gloomy and serious and not very good. Charlize Theron's acting mainly consisted of shouting, no-one has ever claimed Kirsten Stewart can act, the plot was silly, and the editorial work on the movie was terrible. I enjoyed what I could and let the rest go. Aparently the one I actually wanted to see was called "Mirror Mirror." Oh well.

I wandered around the shops a bit and bought myself a lip balm from the Body Shop then met Tim for lunch at our favourite Chinese. We had a table booked and arrived at almost the same time but were shown to different tables with one table between us. Luckily Tim noticed me before too long. We had some lovely chocolates from Koko Black for dessert then I dropped him back at work and went home for about half an hour before getting the kids (walked again!).

Shortly after that we headed off to the gym where the kids did their Gecko Kids session and I did half an hour on the treadmill, my first exercise in some weeks. It went well, I felt fine and did 4 "sprints". I walked at 4.5 km/h and jogged at 7.0. Of course the girl next to me was walking at 7.0 and jogging at 10.5! I'll speed up in time, but 10.5 will always be running nearly flat out for me, my legs are so short. I think I got to 11 once for about 30 seconds.

Home and started dinner, then Tim called to say he wasn't feeling well so we went and picked him up. Bummer if he has finally succumbed to my germs after holding out for a month. I finished making the crumbed lamb cutlets with broccoli in cream sauce and for dessert a chocolate raspberry mousse concoction. Mmmmm.

I am feeling rather full this evening. I used 61 PP today, more than double my allowance, and used up all my weeklies yesterday & today, plus my handful of activity PP, and I am on -5 for the week! I'll have to earn those back, and be very good for the rest of the week. Of course it is a shame to eat so much and undo the good work of the last few days, but then it was my birthday. Back on the wagon tomorrow. I've had a really good day; the food and the rest, and I am not going to spoil it with regrets. Non, je regret rien!

Pre-birthday

Sunday:

I was very careful with my breakfast and lunch, incorporating lots of fruit and low-PP soup, so that I could splurge on my pre-birthday afternoon tea. It worked fairly well; so that although I ate quite a lot of camembert and crackers I stuck to my daily PP. Um, until you add the chocolate cake. With chocolate cream icing. A slice at afternoon tea, and then another slice for dessert after dinner ... My best guess is about 10 PP per slice, so that is 20 PP over for the day. With my actual birthday yet to come. At least I'm going to the gym tomorrow!

I am finally feeling well! Woo hoo! So nice to be healthy again, it's been a while.