Monday:
Time to look back, time to look forward.
Since this a weight loss blog, start with that! This morning I weighed 75.4 kg. I lost a total of 3.8 kg over 2017. Actually of course I gained a bit then lost more. Looking at the total difference over the year explains why people didn't notice my weight loss and I don't need a smaller size in summer clothes, I'm not really that much different than I was this time last year. But 3.8 kg loss is still a win! And I lost 0.8 kg this week, despite Christmas Day, Boxing Day, New Year's Eve, several family events. I'm restarting the BSD (blood sugar diet) in earnest today, I've been sort of doing it for four days already but with added treats.
Yesterday I arranged with my cousins to go out and see Poppa for lunch, since he wasn't available at Christmas. My mother's father is 99 and still living in his own home. His younger son lives right across the road but he still looks after himself.
I let myself get a bit worked up about seeing that side of the family, all my cousins (and aunts, for that matter) are thin and I hate that I'm always the fat one. The only fat one. They are all very attractive, too. And nice people. Don't you hate that? Anyway as usual I got quite stressed and unhappy when I should have been excited to see them. But it was ok once I got there, it was nice to see everyone. And I was reminded not to assume that thin = happy. My favourite cousin was stressed about some stuff going on in her life, and clearly had low self esteem about some things. Also, when I complimented the salad she brought, she mentioned that she and her sister ate it often when they were trying to lose weight. So they are no magically thin with no effort! It's always seemed to me that they eat what they want, but in reality now we're adults I only see them at celebrations like Christmas and weddings when of course everyone is having dessert and other treats. They don't eat like that every day!
We had Tim's side of the family over here for dinner, they stayed until about 9:30 but most have young children so didn't stay until midnight. I usually go to bed myself, but for some reason allowed myself to be convinced to stay up. Not really worth it in my opinion, I'm paying for it today with tiredness.
Overall 2017 has been good for me. I've really enjoyed doing my TAFE course, our swimming pool is finally finished, and I lost a bit of weight. Probably bad stuff happened too, plenty of frustrations along the way, but I'm going to focus on the good.
And 2018? The two big goals are to finish my TAFE course and find a job as a Library Technician somewhere that doesn't have a hideously long commute, and lose some more weight. Ultimately about 18 kg but I'm not putting a time limit on that. I'm not in total control of what I weigh, only of my behaviours. I'll do the BSD for 8 weeks as a start, exercise for 30 mins five days a week, drink more water.
Sunday, December 31, 2017
Thursday, December 28, 2017
Taming the grass
Friday:
I was planning to get serious about my food from 1st January, but then found two good reasons not to wait. On Wednesday night we were at Nick & Ping's and did a bit of a Just Dance game, and my niece Emma insisted on watching all the replay videos. Oh my goodness I'm still so fat. It always surprises me, especially since I've lost a bit of weight recently, that I am a lot fatter in reality than I am in my head. Mirrors, photos, and apparently videos all ambush me.
Then I weighed myself Thursday morning to find my weight, which had stayed pretty steady over the Christmas indulgences, had suddenly caught up with reality too and jumped up a fair bit. I was unhappy with the number. So I decided not to wait another four days to stop eating so much junk.
I spent an hour and a half at least in the garden, working on the garden beds that don't yet have an edging of rocks so the pampered lawn has really invaded. I turned bits like this:
Into this:
It was quite hard sweaty work, the grass had put down lots of roots along the runners and took a lot of effort to rip out. Next cooler day I'll work on getting the rock edging in.
We had people over in the afternoon for a swim and Tim's dad also dropped in with Jo, and Jo's daughter and granddaughter, on their way home from spending Christmas with Jo's family. I put out lots of leftover chips and chocolates but only ate a little bit of cheese, a few grapes, and one Lindor ball. I call that a win! Calories good for the day.
I had a really bad sleep last night. That operation I had a year ago to remove fibroids fixed the heavy periods but didn't take away all the pain. It gets bad each month the week before my period, and I was lying awake in a lot of discomfort for quite a bit of the night. Still aches today. It's 34 C here so I'm tired and sore and hot and not feeling very happy. Still staying away from the bad food though. We still have some in the house but it should be all finished off on Sunday night. Anything left after that will go in the bin.
I was planning to get serious about my food from 1st January, but then found two good reasons not to wait. On Wednesday night we were at Nick & Ping's and did a bit of a Just Dance game, and my niece Emma insisted on watching all the replay videos. Oh my goodness I'm still so fat. It always surprises me, especially since I've lost a bit of weight recently, that I am a lot fatter in reality than I am in my head. Mirrors, photos, and apparently videos all ambush me.
Then I weighed myself Thursday morning to find my weight, which had stayed pretty steady over the Christmas indulgences, had suddenly caught up with reality too and jumped up a fair bit. I was unhappy with the number. So I decided not to wait another four days to stop eating so much junk.
I spent an hour and a half at least in the garden, working on the garden beds that don't yet have an edging of rocks so the pampered lawn has really invaded. I turned bits like this:
We had people over in the afternoon for a swim and Tim's dad also dropped in with Jo, and Jo's daughter and granddaughter, on their way home from spending Christmas with Jo's family. I put out lots of leftover chips and chocolates but only ate a little bit of cheese, a few grapes, and one Lindor ball. I call that a win! Calories good for the day.
I had a really bad sleep last night. That operation I had a year ago to remove fibroids fixed the heavy periods but didn't take away all the pain. It gets bad each month the week before my period, and I was lying awake in a lot of discomfort for quite a bit of the night. Still aches today. It's 34 C here so I'm tired and sore and hot and not feeling very happy. Still staying away from the bad food though. We still have some in the house but it should be all finished off on Sunday night. Anything left after that will go in the bin.
Tuesday, December 26, 2017
Merry Christmas!
Wednesday:
I hope everyone had a lovely Christmas.
We had guests over for lunch and a swim on Christmas Eve afternoon, then had a quiet evening watching carols on TV.
On Christmas morning we had a lovely time opening presents. At the crack of dawn of course. Tim and I were a bit sleepy but the kids weren't!
Tim's side of the family, plus my brother, came over for lunch. I wish I took more photos, but I was too busy! Here is one Tim took of me with cousin Daniel and his wife Martha, my brother Darren in the background.
And the dessert buffet! Mango cheesecake, sticky date pudding, lemon tart and a fruit platter.
As usual we were stuck with everyone's recycling garbage; all the wrapping paper plus bottles, boxes etc. We drop hints and one year asked outright if anyone could take some but no apparently they had no room in their bins. THEY have no room? This is what was left after we filled our recycling bin, we will have it sitting there another week before the bin is emptied and we can fill it up again. May take another fortnight!
Oh well, at least we managed to get all the other garbage (food scraps etc) into that bin which has been collected so we aren't left with stinky bags like some other years. Recycling stuff doesn't smell.
We had 18 for lunch and 12 for dinner on Christmas Day. I was glad to collapse into bed, to the soothing slosh of the dishwasher running for the umpteenth time.
A couple of people returned for lunch on Boxing Day to eat leftovers, then many of the Christmas group gathered again to go and see the Star Wars movie, a bit of Boxing Day tradition for us (a couple of people on child-minding duties went to a later session) and dinner at a restaurant which I suggested because it almost sounded like people were expecting to come back to our place and I wasn't prepared for that!
Today I basically insisted we see no-one, I needed a day to recover, but then our sister-in-law Ping has invited us over for dinner at their place which is lovely of her so we'll go there. I'd kind of rather crash at home watching the cricket but at least I don't have to cook!
A few of the more interesting events of the past few days:
I smashed two glass items on different days. On Christmas I pushed some items down the counter top, not seeing there was a glass hiding behind a box of crackers. It got shoved off the edge onto our unforgiving tile floor and smashed into a billion pieces. In a house with little children including three crawlers! Broom, dustpan and brush, vacuum, and hope we got it all. One of the adults did find a few shards - with their bare foot - but no real damage to humankind.
Then on Boxing Day I moved a casserole dish to the counter, somehow the thick glass lid slid off as I put it down and it went over the other side, again onto the tile floor. Huge smash! Broom, dustpan and brush, vacuum, Roomba. It was Aunty Vanessa's dish, luckily I had the same dish in a different pattern but the same size lid to give her. Not that she would have asked for it, she wasn't even there, but it was my fault so I was glad I had the lid to return.
There was a funny saga about dessert. When we were still deciding who would bring what, in chat online, A said she would make a trifle, but B said no she was going to, so A gave in though slightly miffed. Then B was talking about how she made 'healthy' jelly (jello) for the trifle because there is no need for desserts to be unhealthy so C asked for the recipe. Turns out it was just supermarket jelly with 'natural colours and sweeteners'. And then B didn't even bring a trifle! She just brought 'healthy' jelly and custard for the kids (I suppose those are two elements of a trifle!) -- but then she asked if she could take home leftovers of some of the other 'unhealthy' desserts! I thought it was pretty funny.
I found it a bit less amusing that B brought only a small amount of another food that fit her special dietary needs, basically only enough for her own slice of the family, even though she also ate other things on offer and everyone else of course shared everything and would have liked to try her dish. I didn't even realise she'd brought anything, I didn't see it, but others commented to me later. Ah, family dramas. They keep life from getting boring, don't they!
I was given headphones for Christmas by my brother-in-law Nick. He knew I wanted some good ones, not little earbuds that always make my ears sore, but small enough to wear on the train or out walking, and his speciality is tech stuff especially music. I didn't get a chance to try them out until Boxing Day morning and then I literally had tears in my eyes at the sound quality. Amazing. Surrounded by music.
Most of the 'real food' leftovers are gone but there are plenty of packets of chips and lollies, and boxes of chocolates, hopefully all with be eaten during the next couple of family gatherings before midnight New Years Eve. Back on strict diet from 1st January 2018!
I hope everyone had a lovely Christmas.
We had guests over for lunch and a swim on Christmas Eve afternoon, then had a quiet evening watching carols on TV.
On Christmas morning we had a lovely time opening presents. At the crack of dawn of course. Tim and I were a bit sleepy but the kids weren't!
Tim's side of the family, plus my brother, came over for lunch. I wish I took more photos, but I was too busy! Here is one Tim took of me with cousin Daniel and his wife Martha, my brother Darren in the background.
And the dessert buffet! Mango cheesecake, sticky date pudding, lemon tart and a fruit platter.
As usual we were stuck with everyone's recycling garbage; all the wrapping paper plus bottles, boxes etc. We drop hints and one year asked outright if anyone could take some but no apparently they had no room in their bins. THEY have no room? This is what was left after we filled our recycling bin, we will have it sitting there another week before the bin is emptied and we can fill it up again. May take another fortnight!
We had 18 for lunch and 12 for dinner on Christmas Day. I was glad to collapse into bed, to the soothing slosh of the dishwasher running for the umpteenth time.
A couple of people returned for lunch on Boxing Day to eat leftovers, then many of the Christmas group gathered again to go and see the Star Wars movie, a bit of Boxing Day tradition for us (a couple of people on child-minding duties went to a later session) and dinner at a restaurant which I suggested because it almost sounded like people were expecting to come back to our place and I wasn't prepared for that!
Today I basically insisted we see no-one, I needed a day to recover, but then our sister-in-law Ping has invited us over for dinner at their place which is lovely of her so we'll go there. I'd kind of rather crash at home watching the cricket but at least I don't have to cook!
A few of the more interesting events of the past few days:
I smashed two glass items on different days. On Christmas I pushed some items down the counter top, not seeing there was a glass hiding behind a box of crackers. It got shoved off the edge onto our unforgiving tile floor and smashed into a billion pieces. In a house with little children including three crawlers! Broom, dustpan and brush, vacuum, and hope we got it all. One of the adults did find a few shards - with their bare foot - but no real damage to humankind.
Then on Boxing Day I moved a casserole dish to the counter, somehow the thick glass lid slid off as I put it down and it went over the other side, again onto the tile floor. Huge smash! Broom, dustpan and brush, vacuum, Roomba. It was Aunty Vanessa's dish, luckily I had the same dish in a different pattern but the same size lid to give her. Not that she would have asked for it, she wasn't even there, but it was my fault so I was glad I had the lid to return.
There was a funny saga about dessert. When we were still deciding who would bring what, in chat online, A said she would make a trifle, but B said no she was going to, so A gave in though slightly miffed. Then B was talking about how she made 'healthy' jelly (jello) for the trifle because there is no need for desserts to be unhealthy so C asked for the recipe. Turns out it was just supermarket jelly with 'natural colours and sweeteners'. And then B didn't even bring a trifle! She just brought 'healthy' jelly and custard for the kids (I suppose those are two elements of a trifle!) -- but then she asked if she could take home leftovers of some of the other 'unhealthy' desserts! I thought it was pretty funny.
I found it a bit less amusing that B brought only a small amount of another food that fit her special dietary needs, basically only enough for her own slice of the family, even though she also ate other things on offer and everyone else of course shared everything and would have liked to try her dish. I didn't even realise she'd brought anything, I didn't see it, but others commented to me later. Ah, family dramas. They keep life from getting boring, don't they!
I was given headphones for Christmas by my brother-in-law Nick. He knew I wanted some good ones, not little earbuds that always make my ears sore, but small enough to wear on the train or out walking, and his speciality is tech stuff especially music. I didn't get a chance to try them out until Boxing Day morning and then I literally had tears in my eyes at the sound quality. Amazing. Surrounded by music.
Most of the 'real food' leftovers are gone but there are plenty of packets of chips and lollies, and boxes of chocolates, hopefully all with be eaten during the next couple of family gatherings before midnight New Years Eve. Back on strict diet from 1st January 2018!
Thursday, December 21, 2017
Three quiet days
Wednesday:
Nothing exciting. Again, too hot to go out (but cool change late afternoon). We did some colouring-in, Jasmine made cupcakes, Aiden put together a Lego Darth Vader from last Christmas that turned up when we were tidying his room yesterday, we worked some more on tidying his room (nearly done), played computer games. Nice day, really.
Thursday:
The kids and I went to see the movie 'Ferdinand'. We actually wanted to see 'Murder on the Orient Express' (it's one of my favourite Agatha Christie novels - and I have them all!) but I didn't realise that they stopped daytime screenings literally yesterday. And I can't be bothered going out in the evening. I'll wait until it comes to Netflix or TV. Aiden had already seen Ferdinand as a school excursion last week but was ok with seeing it again. I thought the shops would be super busy but it wasn't too bad at all. We popped into a couple of shops while there and didn't have to battle crowds or long queues. But my sister-in-law was there later in the afternoon and said it was terrible. We bought some plastic crates for the kids to store toys in to organise their rooms.
Friday:
In the morning we did the big Christmas grocery shopping trip. I took the kids and Jasmine pushed a second trolley. I still have to pick up the turkey tomorrow but otherwise we're ready. I've been having a few treats this week (and my daily weight is reflecting that) and last night I had a candy cane. I enjoyed eating it, but my mouth reacted badly afterwards. I get this thing where if I eat too much sugar my tongue feels scratched and swollen, really sore. I don't have a big sweet tooth but I do eat stuff sometimes, but only rarely something like a candy cane that is basically five teaspoons of sugar at once. Not worth it for me in a reaction vs enjoyment balance.
This afternoon we finished tidying and organising Aiden's bedroom. You can see the floor! That was a major task, spread over three days. I hope it lasts more than 5 mins.
Nothing exciting. Again, too hot to go out (but cool change late afternoon). We did some colouring-in, Jasmine made cupcakes, Aiden put together a Lego Darth Vader from last Christmas that turned up when we were tidying his room yesterday, we worked some more on tidying his room (nearly done), played computer games. Nice day, really.
Thursday:
The kids and I went to see the movie 'Ferdinand'. We actually wanted to see 'Murder on the Orient Express' (it's one of my favourite Agatha Christie novels - and I have them all!) but I didn't realise that they stopped daytime screenings literally yesterday. And I can't be bothered going out in the evening. I'll wait until it comes to Netflix or TV. Aiden had already seen Ferdinand as a school excursion last week but was ok with seeing it again. I thought the shops would be super busy but it wasn't too bad at all. We popped into a couple of shops while there and didn't have to battle crowds or long queues. But my sister-in-law was there later in the afternoon and said it was terrible. We bought some plastic crates for the kids to store toys in to organise their rooms.
Friday:
In the morning we did the big Christmas grocery shopping trip. I took the kids and Jasmine pushed a second trolley. I still have to pick up the turkey tomorrow but otherwise we're ready. I've been having a few treats this week (and my daily weight is reflecting that) and last night I had a candy cane. I enjoyed eating it, but my mouth reacted badly afterwards. I get this thing where if I eat too much sugar my tongue feels scratched and swollen, really sore. I don't have a big sweet tooth but I do eat stuff sometimes, but only rarely something like a candy cane that is basically five teaspoons of sugar at once. Not worth it for me in a reaction vs enjoyment balance.
This afternoon we finished tidying and organising Aiden's bedroom. You can see the floor! That was a major task, spread over three days. I hope it lasts more than 5 mins.
Tuesday, December 19, 2017
Staying inside
Tuesday:
We've had a few cooler (comparatively) days, but back to blazing hot today and tomorrow. We couldn't leave the house this morning waiting for tradesmen, but I don't think I would have wanted to anyway. Even going to the movies or something indoors would probably involve leaving the car outside in the sun for a while. So hard to drive when the steering wheel is burning your hands.
We'd had a minor problem with the heat pump for the pool, one corner of the touch screen wasn't responding which was annoying. The screen part was replaced this morning. Still under warranty, obviously. We haven't been using the heater lately of course, no need to in summer.
Also I had organised a Salvation Army pickup and that was this morning. Two bicycles that the kids had grown out of and a few bits of children's furniture and other things a bit heavy/big/unwieldy for me to get to a drop off centre. Tim and I put it all in front of the garage this morning and later in the day it all disappeared. I assume it was the Salvos! If they knocked I didn't hear. But they had a list of what I wanted to donate so it was probably obvious that this cluster of items was for them.
I made an gaffe over it though. Two years ago when we moved here, Tim's cousin gave us a house-warming present that didn't suit my personal taste. On the weekend I put it next to the door to remember to put it out for the Salvos, still in the original box. And that cousin came over for dinner on Sunday night. They didn't say anything and I only realised after they had gone that it was a bit obvious I had never used it and was getting rid of it. I hope they weren't offended. I think they are too sensible to be bothered. Not everyone likes the same things. My sister-in-law has been known to give something back to be exchanged, and I didn't mind at all. I'd rather she had something she liked (or in that case was cookware that didn't fit her small oven).
We still have a lot of things to get rid of, but not worthy of passing on, and I have organised a council pickup in January. The garage is already looking much emptier.
Another cleanup project was started today, Aiden's bedroom. He has a small bedroom and a lot of stuff. He is given more and more things every birthday and Christmas, and we don't cull much of the old stuff. A lot of it is great, for instance for his birthday he got a big remote-control boat (used in the pool when no-one is swimming) and a couple of build-your-own-robot things. Lots of fun, but they are bulky items that take up a lot of shelf space. Today we cleared half the floor and the top of his chest of drawers. A good start. I need to buy some boxes for his Lego. He has accumulated a huge amount over the years and it's currently in a couple of really big plastic boxes that he can't lift or move. I think several smaller ones would be better to make them accessible. He's not as keen on Lego as he used to be though. In a few years we can pass it on to the younger kids in the family.
We swam later in the afternoon when the sun was less burny.
Here is Grumpy the blue-tongue, looking bad-tempered as usual.
And Draco the water dragon.
He went behind the big pot, climbed up, and is peeking at me from over the rim.
We've had a few cooler (comparatively) days, but back to blazing hot today and tomorrow. We couldn't leave the house this morning waiting for tradesmen, but I don't think I would have wanted to anyway. Even going to the movies or something indoors would probably involve leaving the car outside in the sun for a while. So hard to drive when the steering wheel is burning your hands.
We'd had a minor problem with the heat pump for the pool, one corner of the touch screen wasn't responding which was annoying. The screen part was replaced this morning. Still under warranty, obviously. We haven't been using the heater lately of course, no need to in summer.
Also I had organised a Salvation Army pickup and that was this morning. Two bicycles that the kids had grown out of and a few bits of children's furniture and other things a bit heavy/big/unwieldy for me to get to a drop off centre. Tim and I put it all in front of the garage this morning and later in the day it all disappeared. I assume it was the Salvos! If they knocked I didn't hear. But they had a list of what I wanted to donate so it was probably obvious that this cluster of items was for them.
I made an gaffe over it though. Two years ago when we moved here, Tim's cousin gave us a house-warming present that didn't suit my personal taste. On the weekend I put it next to the door to remember to put it out for the Salvos, still in the original box. And that cousin came over for dinner on Sunday night. They didn't say anything and I only realised after they had gone that it was a bit obvious I had never used it and was getting rid of it. I hope they weren't offended. I think they are too sensible to be bothered. Not everyone likes the same things. My sister-in-law has been known to give something back to be exchanged, and I didn't mind at all. I'd rather she had something she liked (or in that case was cookware that didn't fit her small oven).
We still have a lot of things to get rid of, but not worthy of passing on, and I have organised a council pickup in January. The garage is already looking much emptier.
Another cleanup project was started today, Aiden's bedroom. He has a small bedroom and a lot of stuff. He is given more and more things every birthday and Christmas, and we don't cull much of the old stuff. A lot of it is great, for instance for his birthday he got a big remote-control boat (used in the pool when no-one is swimming) and a couple of build-your-own-robot things. Lots of fun, but they are bulky items that take up a lot of shelf space. Today we cleared half the floor and the top of his chest of drawers. A good start. I need to buy some boxes for his Lego. He has accumulated a huge amount over the years and it's currently in a couple of really big plastic boxes that he can't lift or move. I think several smaller ones would be better to make them accessible. He's not as keen on Lego as he used to be though. In a few years we can pass it on to the younger kids in the family.
We swam later in the afternoon when the sun was less burny.
Here is Grumpy the blue-tongue, looking bad-tempered as usual.
Monday, December 18, 2017
Treats at Christmas
Monday:
Weight today 75.8, a loss of 400 grams. Not sure how that happened! But I'll take it. I've been eating mostly healthy meals, but with some added festive treats.
I've been in a (polite) argument in a weight loss forum about treats at Christmas. Someone posted that they would be taking the day off their strict diet and I agreed that I would be having some non-diet-friendly foods (actually I am every day at the moment, but I didn't say that) like dessert. The forum is anti-sugar and generally low-carb promoting. Another person argued that we shouldn't see unhealthy food as a 'treat' when it's so bad for us, can derail all our efforts, sugar is poison not a treat, you can enjoy Christmas without traditional junk etc. I said that some people do better if they allow some treats to avoid feeling deprived which can cause people to give up entirely. She disagreed, believing that planning to cheat on your diet is not a good plan, and you should forgive slips but not give yourself permission to slip beforehand. I can totally see her point, but I don't really respond well to someone else telling me what to do. It makes me feel very resistant! I respond better to people setting a good example, telling their story, without saying essentially "you are wrong do it my way which is the only true path." Does that approach work with anyone? We have all been very respectful and I know she is trying to help but it still gets my back up.
Jasmine went a friend's house yesterday and got sunburned despite sunscreen (as usual). Poor girl, she can't go in the sun at all without burning. It might take a few more hard lessons before she decides to wear long sleeves and big hats all summer. Not sure what else she can do other than never going outside at all.
Weight today 75.8, a loss of 400 grams. Not sure how that happened! But I'll take it. I've been eating mostly healthy meals, but with some added festive treats.
I've been in a (polite) argument in a weight loss forum about treats at Christmas. Someone posted that they would be taking the day off their strict diet and I agreed that I would be having some non-diet-friendly foods (actually I am every day at the moment, but I didn't say that) like dessert. The forum is anti-sugar and generally low-carb promoting. Another person argued that we shouldn't see unhealthy food as a 'treat' when it's so bad for us, can derail all our efforts, sugar is poison not a treat, you can enjoy Christmas without traditional junk etc. I said that some people do better if they allow some treats to avoid feeling deprived which can cause people to give up entirely. She disagreed, believing that planning to cheat on your diet is not a good plan, and you should forgive slips but not give yourself permission to slip beforehand. I can totally see her point, but I don't really respond well to someone else telling me what to do. It makes me feel very resistant! I respond better to people setting a good example, telling their story, without saying essentially "you are wrong do it my way which is the only true path." Does that approach work with anyone? We have all been very respectful and I know she is trying to help but it still gets my back up.
Jasmine went a friend's house yesterday and got sunburned despite sunscreen (as usual). Poor girl, she can't go in the sun at all without burning. It might take a few more hard lessons before she decides to wear long sleeves and big hats all summer. Not sure what else she can do other than never going outside at all.
Saturday, December 16, 2017
End of the school year
Friday:
It was the kids’ last day of school today. Jasmine played games like UNO all day and Aiden’s school had some kind of talent quest. They now have six weeks summer holiday then start Year 9 and Year 6 respectively. I didn’t do anything exciting on my last child-free day for a while, grocery shopping then a nap. I’ll enjoy having the kids home - at least for the first few weeks!
My diet (I mean that in the broader ‘way of eating’ sense as well as the more narrow ‘restrictive way of eating’ sense) has been gradually slipping for the past couple of weeks (or months). With Christmas so close, I am officially taking two weeks off worrying about my weight. I will be spending a relaxed week with the kids that may/will include treats, then Christmas festivities and another week to eat leftovers and gift chocolates. I will start focus on weight loss again on January 1st - new year, new month, even a new Monday! Don’t worry, my unrestricted eating isn’t so very terrible, I’ve never eaten a whole box of doughnuts or McDonalds three times in one day. A ‘bad’ day might be 2200 calories. I won’t be tracking. Today I made nachos for lunch followed by a Magnum ice cream, and had a little lemon tart in the afternoon. But I’ve also eaten lovely fruit and I’m having salmon and salad for dinner. I’m trying not to put too much focus on food either way, neither ‘must eat healthy’ nor ‘must eat everything before I back on a diet’. Food is a pleasurable part of life, to be enjoyed, but not the only good part!
Saturday:
I knew it would happen one day. We have a rock feature at one end of the pool -- a waterfall when we turn it on but usually we direct the water to the spa jets -- that is perfect for little boys to jump into the deep end of the pool from. The tradesmen who made it joked about how Aiden would love it, it easily supports his weight and Tim jumps from there too. But I knew that eventually someone would fall the wrong way, into the garden rather than the water, and it is quite high. I specifically planted soft non-spiky plants there, though they are not very big yet. And soft-ish mulch. And today Aiden fell off. He scraped his leg a bit on the rock on the way down so is covered in bandaids but he is fine.
Here is the back view of the waterfall, that bird bath is not as close to the wall as it looks. But I might still move it further away! I haven't yet been out to check the plants and see if they are squashed. (Photo not taken today.)
And the fun jumping side. Note the easy steps up.
I'll just continue to make sure it's all grass and soft plants at the back for an easy fall!
It was the kids’ last day of school today. Jasmine played games like UNO all day and Aiden’s school had some kind of talent quest. They now have six weeks summer holiday then start Year 9 and Year 6 respectively. I didn’t do anything exciting on my last child-free day for a while, grocery shopping then a nap. I’ll enjoy having the kids home - at least for the first few weeks!
My diet (I mean that in the broader ‘way of eating’ sense as well as the more narrow ‘restrictive way of eating’ sense) has been gradually slipping for the past couple of weeks (or months). With Christmas so close, I am officially taking two weeks off worrying about my weight. I will be spending a relaxed week with the kids that may/will include treats, then Christmas festivities and another week to eat leftovers and gift chocolates. I will start focus on weight loss again on January 1st - new year, new month, even a new Monday! Don’t worry, my unrestricted eating isn’t so very terrible, I’ve never eaten a whole box of doughnuts or McDonalds three times in one day. A ‘bad’ day might be 2200 calories. I won’t be tracking. Today I made nachos for lunch followed by a Magnum ice cream, and had a little lemon tart in the afternoon. But I’ve also eaten lovely fruit and I’m having salmon and salad for dinner. I’m trying not to put too much focus on food either way, neither ‘must eat healthy’ nor ‘must eat everything before I back on a diet’. Food is a pleasurable part of life, to be enjoyed, but not the only good part!
Saturday:
I knew it would happen one day. We have a rock feature at one end of the pool -- a waterfall when we turn it on but usually we direct the water to the spa jets -- that is perfect for little boys to jump into the deep end of the pool from. The tradesmen who made it joked about how Aiden would love it, it easily supports his weight and Tim jumps from there too. But I knew that eventually someone would fall the wrong way, into the garden rather than the water, and it is quite high. I specifically planted soft non-spiky plants there, though they are not very big yet. And soft-ish mulch. And today Aiden fell off. He scraped his leg a bit on the rock on the way down so is covered in bandaids but he is fine.
Here is the back view of the waterfall, that bird bath is not as close to the wall as it looks. But I might still move it further away! I haven't yet been out to check the plants and see if they are squashed. (Photo not taken today.)
Thursday, December 14, 2017
Heatwave
Thursday:
Absolute scorcher today. 39C. I didn't dare go in the pool in the middle of the day, any exposed bits of me would be burned to a crisp. Better to wait until a bit later, when the kids got home and the sun wasn't directly overhead. So I watered the garden first thing, then mostly sat in front of the cricket on TV, sapped of energy despite the air con being on, drinking water and eating cherries. And doing detailed menu/shopping list planning for Christmas.
We are expecting this kind of weather for most days for the next couple of weeks.
Didn't go in the pool until 4:30, but then in and out until about 8:00pm. Definitely don't need the pool heater - the water gets over 30C without it! We do need a bit more shade out there, it will be years before the plants grow. There is a big umbrella but the wind pushes it around so it's not shading where we sit. Will have to move it once Tim's pulled back is fully better.
Good news I am feeling much better today, I think I am over whatever that was.
Absolute scorcher today. 39C. I didn't dare go in the pool in the middle of the day, any exposed bits of me would be burned to a crisp. Better to wait until a bit later, when the kids got home and the sun wasn't directly overhead. So I watered the garden first thing, then mostly sat in front of the cricket on TV, sapped of energy despite the air con being on, drinking water and eating cherries. And doing detailed menu/shopping list planning for Christmas.
We are expecting this kind of weather for most days for the next couple of weeks.
Didn't go in the pool until 4:30, but then in and out until about 8:00pm. Definitely don't need the pool heater - the water gets over 30C without it! We do need a bit more shade out there, it will be years before the plants grow. There is a big umbrella but the wind pushes it around so it's not shading where we sit. Will have to move it once Tim's pulled back is fully better.
Good news I am feeling much better today, I think I am over whatever that was.
Wednesday, December 13, 2017
Tan lines
Wednesday:
Tim is very stiff and sore today. He moved around slowly watering the garden, then we went to Jasmine's assembly where she got an award for music/band and technology (she also got her report card and did very well) then Tim went to work. I came home and had lunch then a nap. Actually I had a nap in the morning too after getting the kids off to school.
I continue to feel pretty awful in the mornings. Achy body, like I’m sick or hungover, sometimes sore throat, upset tummy with some unpleasant bathroom experiences. This morning my arms and hands feel swollen and poisoned. But from a couple of hours after getting up I’m mostly ok for the rest of the day. Tired early in the evening. I suppose I have a virus.
When Aiden got home from school we had a swim, then picked up Jasmine from her after-school activity and had another swim. The pool is certainly getting a lot of use! I am so happy with it, it's beautiful. Just have to be very careful about sunburn, outside so much.
How do other people get lovely even tans? I have relatively brown arms and a circle high on my chest, exposed by T-shirts. Now I have lighter tanned areas on my shoulders and cleavage, from wearing two different swimming costumes. Like concentric circles in shades of brown. White strap lines. I'm about four different colours just on my chest.
Tim is very stiff and sore today. He moved around slowly watering the garden, then we went to Jasmine's assembly where she got an award for music/band and technology (she also got her report card and did very well) then Tim went to work. I came home and had lunch then a nap. Actually I had a nap in the morning too after getting the kids off to school.
I continue to feel pretty awful in the mornings. Achy body, like I’m sick or hungover, sometimes sore throat, upset tummy with some unpleasant bathroom experiences. This morning my arms and hands feel swollen and poisoned. But from a couple of hours after getting up I’m mostly ok for the rest of the day. Tired early in the evening. I suppose I have a virus.
When Aiden got home from school we had a swim, then picked up Jasmine from her after-school activity and had another swim. The pool is certainly getting a lot of use! I am so happy with it, it's beautiful. Just have to be very careful about sunburn, outside so much.
How do other people get lovely even tans? I have relatively brown arms and a circle high on my chest, exposed by T-shirts. Now I have lighter tanned areas on my shoulders and cleavage, from wearing two different swimming costumes. Like concentric circles in shades of brown. White strap lines. I'm about four different colours just on my chest.
Tuesday, December 12, 2017
Not a great day
Tuesday:
Today I spent three and a half frustrating fruitless hours looking for clothes for myself. Something pretty to wear on Christmas Day, and a new swimming cossie. Despite browsing in or at least poking my head in every single clothes shop in the enormous Miranda complex, I only tried on a handful of clothes. In two shops. I didn't buy anything. Everything was either hideous, or too small. Many clothes didn't even come close to my size. And if I go by what was on the racks, now swimming costumes are only made up Aus size 14 (US 12, Europe 44 I think) which I can't quite squeeze into. I tried. The two shops exclusively selling swimwear didn't cater to my size at all, nor did the department stores. Yet I'm not unusually large. Overweight, yes, but in a pretty average way. It seems larger people are expected to wear floaty nylon blouses, and never go swimming. Depressing waste of a day.
I know the big cheap stores like Target and Big W will have bigger sizes. (Target in Australia is not affiliated with Target in the US.) Luckily fat people don't care about fashion, or comfortable non-sweaty fabrics, or trying to look good. Why bother, right? Arg!
Feeling fat.
Tim pulled a muscle in his back at the gym today, and is very sore and walking around all twisted. He goes to the gym regularly at lunchtime, but had been too busy to go for a while, which may have contributed to the injury. I think it’s likely he’ll stiffen up overnight and be worse tomorrow, too.
In spring the pool heater took two or three days to get the water up to a nice temperature. More recently, only half a day. Today, when I checked in the morning it was already above the set temperature, without having to turn it on at all! We keep it at a lovely 29C. The kids and I went for a short swim after school (I stay out of the sun before that), then after dropping Jasmine at Acrogym Aiden and I went in again. And in the evening Aiden wanted to go in again, even though the air had cooled down a lot (water still warm of course) so Jasmine went out and watched him swim in the dark. We have solar garden lights and a pool light but they are all fairly dim so you definitely know it’s night time. I have a rule the kids aren’t allowed to swim alone, someone must be either in with them or watching prepared to rescue.
Today I spent three and a half frustrating fruitless hours looking for clothes for myself. Something pretty to wear on Christmas Day, and a new swimming cossie. Despite browsing in or at least poking my head in every single clothes shop in the enormous Miranda complex, I only tried on a handful of clothes. In two shops. I didn't buy anything. Everything was either hideous, or too small. Many clothes didn't even come close to my size. And if I go by what was on the racks, now swimming costumes are only made up Aus size 14 (US 12, Europe 44 I think) which I can't quite squeeze into. I tried. The two shops exclusively selling swimwear didn't cater to my size at all, nor did the department stores. Yet I'm not unusually large. Overweight, yes, but in a pretty average way. It seems larger people are expected to wear floaty nylon blouses, and never go swimming. Depressing waste of a day.
I know the big cheap stores like Target and Big W will have bigger sizes. (Target in Australia is not affiliated with Target in the US.) Luckily fat people don't care about fashion, or comfortable non-sweaty fabrics, or trying to look good. Why bother, right? Arg!
Feeling fat.
Tim pulled a muscle in his back at the gym today, and is very sore and walking around all twisted. He goes to the gym regularly at lunchtime, but had been too busy to go for a while, which may have contributed to the injury. I think it’s likely he’ll stiffen up overnight and be worse tomorrow, too.
In spring the pool heater took two or three days to get the water up to a nice temperature. More recently, only half a day. Today, when I checked in the morning it was already above the set temperature, without having to turn it on at all! We keep it at a lovely 29C. The kids and I went for a short swim after school (I stay out of the sun before that), then after dropping Jasmine at Acrogym Aiden and I went in again. And in the evening Aiden wanted to go in again, even though the air had cooled down a lot (water still warm of course) so Jasmine went out and watched him swim in the dark. We have solar garden lights and a pool light but they are all fairly dim so you definitely know it’s night time. I have a rule the kids aren’t allowed to swim alone, someone must be either in with them or watching prepared to rescue.
Monday, December 11, 2017
lots of swimming
Monday:
The kids had their Acrogym Christmas party on Friday afternoon. Started with a crowd of kids on a jumping castle and tumble mat and a few other gymnastic equipment things, then the 'development groups' (including Jasmine) did group performances and all the little kids got participation medals. Jasmine's group - level one - was pretty good, but oh my goodness the level six performance from the really experienced kids! Gasps of awe from the audience.
Saturday was Christmas shopping for extended family, and a swim in the afternoon. Sunday was BBQ lunch and party for my niece Ashleigh turning one, she's the youngest of the three born at the end of last year. Then another swim in the afternoon. Tim and Aiden went with the other boys to see Justice League in the evening, Jasmine and I weren't interested.
I'd been feeling a little achy Sunday morning but then better during the day, but by about 7:30 at night was so tired I could hardly keep my eyes open. I thought maybe it was just the result of a big meal after a big day and went to bed at 8:30, before the boys even got home. But this morning very achy back and also a sore throat. Dammit. I do not want to be sick again. I just got better after four weeks of flu!
Some good news today about a story I've been following (story is the wrong word, don't know what the right one is). The winner of this year's Eurovision song contest, Salvador Sobral from Portugal, has been in hospital for months waiting for a heart transplant. He was even unwell during the actual Eurovision, his sister stood in for him at all the rehearsals and he wasn't allowed to leave his doctor's care for long, he just sang in the actual competition. Some people say he got a pity vote but I thought he was wonderful. Shortly afterwards he had to retire from his music career because of his health. He was offered a new heart in October but was too sick at the time to have the operation. Anyway in the news this morning he has finally got a new heart and is recovering well from the surgery so I am grateful for that. I know it means that someone else has died, but at least they were able to save one person's life - maybe more - who would have died if they hadn't been an organ donor.
My weight this morning was 76.2 kg, still slowly creeping up. That is 1.1 kg up in four weeks since I stopped Duromine. And still two weeks to Christmas! So much temptation around. This past week it was that time of the month and I was just hungry all the time. I ate and ate. I think I'm also feeling the effects of 'nothing to do'. Of course there are always things to do, but there is nothing pressing to take my mind off food! Exams are over, kids still at school, Christmas shopping done, I'm not even into any games at the moment. It’s not that I'm not enjoying leisure time, it's just that I'm enjoying using a lot of that time to eat. Eat, watch TV and read. Nice. But not slimming.
I wrote about moving the spider, Gertrude, from too near the pool seating over to the corner. She has stayed where I put her and seems happy there, in as much as you can tell with a spider. But her identical twin sister, Beatrice, has spun her web almost directly in front of the mailbox! Very uncomfortable getting super-close to fetch the mail. I might have to move her too. And near the laundry door there was a messy web (obviously not one of those that gets eaten and remade every day) with some very large bugs stuck in it - including a whole cockroach - beside a hole that the spider hid in. I didn't know if I wanted to know what sort. Turns out I didn't. Seen Lord of the Rings, with that spider Shelob? Yeah, like that. Shudder. A red back. Venomous. Biggest one I've seen. Too dangerous to leave there with kids around. I pumped half a can of fly spray into her lair, and scooped the body into the bin so no lizards could eat it.
Another swim when the kids got home from school. We are really making the most of having a pool! There is a very hot week coming up, forecast of 38C on Thursday. My new and not so new swimming cosies were both in the wash so today I dug out a really old one. Saggy and horrible. Public pool chlorine had taken its toll. I wore it with a Tshirt over the top but put it in the bin afterwards. I need to buy another one. Something pretty. I enjoy feeling much better in a cossie than I did 8 kilograms ago.
The kids had their Acrogym Christmas party on Friday afternoon. Started with a crowd of kids on a jumping castle and tumble mat and a few other gymnastic equipment things, then the 'development groups' (including Jasmine) did group performances and all the little kids got participation medals. Jasmine's group - level one - was pretty good, but oh my goodness the level six performance from the really experienced kids! Gasps of awe from the audience.
Saturday was Christmas shopping for extended family, and a swim in the afternoon. Sunday was BBQ lunch and party for my niece Ashleigh turning one, she's the youngest of the three born at the end of last year. Then another swim in the afternoon. Tim and Aiden went with the other boys to see Justice League in the evening, Jasmine and I weren't interested.
I'd been feeling a little achy Sunday morning but then better during the day, but by about 7:30 at night was so tired I could hardly keep my eyes open. I thought maybe it was just the result of a big meal after a big day and went to bed at 8:30, before the boys even got home. But this morning very achy back and also a sore throat. Dammit. I do not want to be sick again. I just got better after four weeks of flu!
Some good news today about a story I've been following (story is the wrong word, don't know what the right one is). The winner of this year's Eurovision song contest, Salvador Sobral from Portugal, has been in hospital for months waiting for a heart transplant. He was even unwell during the actual Eurovision, his sister stood in for him at all the rehearsals and he wasn't allowed to leave his doctor's care for long, he just sang in the actual competition. Some people say he got a pity vote but I thought he was wonderful. Shortly afterwards he had to retire from his music career because of his health. He was offered a new heart in October but was too sick at the time to have the operation. Anyway in the news this morning he has finally got a new heart and is recovering well from the surgery so I am grateful for that. I know it means that someone else has died, but at least they were able to save one person's life - maybe more - who would have died if they hadn't been an organ donor.
My weight this morning was 76.2 kg, still slowly creeping up. That is 1.1 kg up in four weeks since I stopped Duromine. And still two weeks to Christmas! So much temptation around. This past week it was that time of the month and I was just hungry all the time. I ate and ate. I think I'm also feeling the effects of 'nothing to do'. Of course there are always things to do, but there is nothing pressing to take my mind off food! Exams are over, kids still at school, Christmas shopping done, I'm not even into any games at the moment. It’s not that I'm not enjoying leisure time, it's just that I'm enjoying using a lot of that time to eat. Eat, watch TV and read. Nice. But not slimming.
I wrote about moving the spider, Gertrude, from too near the pool seating over to the corner. She has stayed where I put her and seems happy there, in as much as you can tell with a spider. But her identical twin sister, Beatrice, has spun her web almost directly in front of the mailbox! Very uncomfortable getting super-close to fetch the mail. I might have to move her too. And near the laundry door there was a messy web (obviously not one of those that gets eaten and remade every day) with some very large bugs stuck in it - including a whole cockroach - beside a hole that the spider hid in. I didn't know if I wanted to know what sort. Turns out I didn't. Seen Lord of the Rings, with that spider Shelob? Yeah, like that. Shudder. A red back. Venomous. Biggest one I've seen. Too dangerous to leave there with kids around. I pumped half a can of fly spray into her lair, and scooped the body into the bin so no lizards could eat it.
Another swim when the kids got home from school. We are really making the most of having a pool! There is a very hot week coming up, forecast of 38C on Thursday. My new and not so new swimming cosies were both in the wash so today I dug out a really old one. Saggy and horrible. Public pool chlorine had taken its toll. I wore it with a Tshirt over the top but put it in the bin afterwards. I need to buy another one. Something pretty. I enjoy feeling much better in a cossie than I did 8 kilograms ago.
Thursday, December 7, 2017
Arachnid relocation successful
Friday:
For a few weeks we've had an orb spider spinning its web between two pot plants right under the shade umbrella.
I moved the sun lounges further away but when I wanted to unfurl the umbrella I had to stand with it literally half an arms' length away from my chest - way too close! Both Tim and I are scared of spiders, I think he's even worse than me. He once broke a window trying to kill a Huntsman with a broom. To be fair, it was the size of a dinner plate. Yes I mean that literally. Biggest damn spider I've ever seen. A big dinner plate.
I just looked up orb spiders and their venom isn't very toxic to humans but the top two searches said "non-aggressive, seldom bite" and "most common spider species to bite" so I don't know which to believe! Either way, it was non-aggressively doing its job eating insects for me and I didn't want to kill it but I also didn't want it so close to where I sit trying to relax by the pool. So yesterday afternoon I got a very long stick and scooped it off its web and carried it over to the frangipani in the corner by the fence, out of the way but with lots of branches to string its web between (they make a new web every night and eat the old one). It was very co-operative, sat right on the end of the stick (didn't come scuttling towards me, which would have resulted in screams and throwing of the stick) and crawled off onto its new home straight away.
And this morning there was a neat new web among the frangipani branches. I was worried it would make its way back to the old place, only a few meters away, but hopefully it will be happy in the new spot.
As spiders go, it's not too scary or ugly. Quite pretty really. If you know Australia, you know we have a lot of 'nopes' (because you look at them and say 'nope' (no) as you back away) that are much bigger, hairier, and filled with the lust to kill. Try looking up Funnel Web Spider. Gertrude isn't so bad.
For a few weeks we've had an orb spider spinning its web between two pot plants right under the shade umbrella.
I just looked up orb spiders and their venom isn't very toxic to humans but the top two searches said "non-aggressive, seldom bite" and "most common spider species to bite" so I don't know which to believe! Either way, it was non-aggressively doing its job eating insects for me and I didn't want to kill it but I also didn't want it so close to where I sit trying to relax by the pool. So yesterday afternoon I got a very long stick and scooped it off its web and carried it over to the frangipani in the corner by the fence, out of the way but with lots of branches to string its web between (they make a new web every night and eat the old one). It was very co-operative, sat right on the end of the stick (didn't come scuttling towards me, which would have resulted in screams and throwing of the stick) and crawled off onto its new home straight away.
Wednesday, December 6, 2017
Grumpy's wife
Thursday:
We have two kinds of weather at the moment, blazing hot or stormy. Neither is particularly good for gardening (but great for the garden) and the grass has got very long. I went out the back, considering a bit of a mow by the pool, but I could feel the hair on my arms crisping up so decided against it. But I was pulling a few weeds as I wandered around when there was movement beside me and I jumped about a foot into the air.
It seems Grumpy has found himself a wife! She's hiding between the rocks in the shade of the passionfruit vine. She was probably sunning herself on the paving tile before we startled each other.
I wasn't very impressed with Grumpy, he stayed still while I watched but the moment I turned away he scuttled off behind the shed, leaving her alone to face the human. I know almost nothing about lizards but I'd already decided that Grumpy was male and this new one is bigger and more blue/grey, (he's more brown) so that is good enough for me to label her as the female (and maybe pregnant because she is fatter!) Wouldn't it be lovely if they had a family.
I'll have to think of a name for her. I'm not going to call her Mrs Grumpy, how old fashioned and sexist!
I had a swim by myself this afternoon because I knew we wouldn't have time after school (but I might suggest an after-dinner swim if it's still hot). I say "swim", I mean I mostly sat in the water or moved slowly around. The only place in the shade in the water at that time of day was in the grotto, a sort of cave under the waterfall which has a ledge under water to sit on and another ledge out of the water that you can put things on. The water feature sticks out all around, so to get my book there I held it in my mouth and dog-paddled over! Dried my hands on my hair then sat and read in the shade, rib deep in cool water. It was lovely.
We have two kinds of weather at the moment, blazing hot or stormy. Neither is particularly good for gardening (but great for the garden) and the grass has got very long. I went out the back, considering a bit of a mow by the pool, but I could feel the hair on my arms crisping up so decided against it. But I was pulling a few weeds as I wandered around when there was movement beside me and I jumped about a foot into the air.
It seems Grumpy has found himself a wife! She's hiding between the rocks in the shade of the passionfruit vine. She was probably sunning herself on the paving tile before we startled each other.
I'll have to think of a name for her. I'm not going to call her Mrs Grumpy, how old fashioned and sexist!
I had a swim by myself this afternoon because I knew we wouldn't have time after school (but I might suggest an after-dinner swim if it's still hot). I say "swim", I mean I mostly sat in the water or moved slowly around. The only place in the shade in the water at that time of day was in the grotto, a sort of cave under the waterfall which has a ledge under water to sit on and another ledge out of the water that you can put things on. The water feature sticks out all around, so to get my book there I held it in my mouth and dog-paddled over! Dried my hands on my hair then sat and read in the shade, rib deep in cool water. It was lovely.
#metoo
Thursday:
I forgot to say that my weight Monday morning was 76.0 kg, which is up another 0.3 from the 75.7 the week before BUT the mornings since then have been 75.5, 75.6 and 75.4 kg so I think the 76 was an outlier that can be ignored. If I look at the following three days I'm actually down a little bit since last week.
In light of the Time magazine person of the year being the #metoo movement (or so I read), I will tell a #metoo story of my own though I don't really like thinking about that kind of thing. It was late-ish at night, I took a taxi alone from a group gathering in the city to the train station. I was a Uni student at the time, so around 20 years old. I don't really like being in the city at night but felt safe once I got in the taxi. I got in the front seat, which seemed normal to me then. I don't do that anymore. The driver was male, maybe in his 30s. I asked him to take me to the train station. Once the car was under way, he put his hand on my arm and suggested he could drive me all the way home instead. I was terrified. I said I didn't have enough money for that. He suggested money wouldn't be a problem, I don't recall the exact words but it was clear he was offering to drive me home in return for sex. It is not in my nature to react aggressively to confrontation, and also I was scared of what he would do if I was 'rude'. He was a man, much stronger than me and older, and in control of a moving vehicle. I stayed extremely polite, said no thanks, the station was fine, just the station, probably shaking and stuttering. I tried to memorise his details from the licence hanging on the dashboard. He tried to convince me but ended up dropping me at the station.
He was not verbally threating and I'm pretty sure now he wouldn't have done anything without my consent but I felt completely powerless. I considered throwing myself from the taxi when we were stopped at the lights. I said 'no thanks, just take me to the station' several times but in quite a weak polite way. I did not wrench my arm away from the contact, I didn't know what to do. I was scared to make him angry. And I was scared to get out of the taxi in a random location in the city at night, would I be any safer? Should I get out? Would he make me get out if I was 'rude'? But was he going to drive me somewhere of his own choice? I didn't know the city well, couldn't even be sure he was taking me to the station. I had no power, so scared, trying to make plans of what to do if...
When I got home I told my older brother. He was of the opinion that the taxi driver was just offering, he hadn't hurt or threatened me, and how else was he supposed to pick up girls or find out if they were willing to exchange services for sex unless he asked them? And I hadn't strongly told him to piss off so I was giving mixed messages. The driver hadn't really done anything wrong. Not the response I was hoping for. But pretty common male thinking apparently. I can see that side of it, but it seems they can't see what it's like to get an offer like that in a situation of such power imbalance. If I was in a club surrounded by friends and other people it would have been a different thing (although the touching would still be creepy); but alone, when and where it happened was very threatening because I had no way to get away from him or control where we went and no friends to defend me. I did try to complain to the taxi company but nothing ever happened, I can't remember now if I wasn't able to remember the driver's details or if they just never got back to me.
Well that took longer than I expected to write.
I forgot to say that my weight Monday morning was 76.0 kg, which is up another 0.3 from the 75.7 the week before BUT the mornings since then have been 75.5, 75.6 and 75.4 kg so I think the 76 was an outlier that can be ignored. If I look at the following three days I'm actually down a little bit since last week.
In light of the Time magazine person of the year being the #metoo movement (or so I read), I will tell a #metoo story of my own though I don't really like thinking about that kind of thing. It was late-ish at night, I took a taxi alone from a group gathering in the city to the train station. I was a Uni student at the time, so around 20 years old. I don't really like being in the city at night but felt safe once I got in the taxi. I got in the front seat, which seemed normal to me then. I don't do that anymore. The driver was male, maybe in his 30s. I asked him to take me to the train station. Once the car was under way, he put his hand on my arm and suggested he could drive me all the way home instead. I was terrified. I said I didn't have enough money for that. He suggested money wouldn't be a problem, I don't recall the exact words but it was clear he was offering to drive me home in return for sex. It is not in my nature to react aggressively to confrontation, and also I was scared of what he would do if I was 'rude'. He was a man, much stronger than me and older, and in control of a moving vehicle. I stayed extremely polite, said no thanks, the station was fine, just the station, probably shaking and stuttering. I tried to memorise his details from the licence hanging on the dashboard. He tried to convince me but ended up dropping me at the station.
He was not verbally threating and I'm pretty sure now he wouldn't have done anything without my consent but I felt completely powerless. I considered throwing myself from the taxi when we were stopped at the lights. I said 'no thanks, just take me to the station' several times but in quite a weak polite way. I did not wrench my arm away from the contact, I didn't know what to do. I was scared to make him angry. And I was scared to get out of the taxi in a random location in the city at night, would I be any safer? Should I get out? Would he make me get out if I was 'rude'? But was he going to drive me somewhere of his own choice? I didn't know the city well, couldn't even be sure he was taking me to the station. I had no power, so scared, trying to make plans of what to do if...
When I got home I told my older brother. He was of the opinion that the taxi driver was just offering, he hadn't hurt or threatened me, and how else was he supposed to pick up girls or find out if they were willing to exchange services for sex unless he asked them? And I hadn't strongly told him to piss off so I was giving mixed messages. The driver hadn't really done anything wrong. Not the response I was hoping for. But pretty common male thinking apparently. I can see that side of it, but it seems they can't see what it's like to get an offer like that in a situation of such power imbalance. If I was in a club surrounded by friends and other people it would have been a different thing (although the touching would still be creepy); but alone, when and where it happened was very threatening because I had no way to get away from him or control where we went and no friends to defend me. I did try to complain to the taxi company but nothing ever happened, I can't remember now if I wasn't able to remember the driver's details or if they just never got back to me.
Well that took longer than I expected to write.
Tuesday, December 5, 2017
Nap time
Wednesday:
On Sunday we had family over for Dungeons and Dragons as usual and dinner. I managed a quick 10 min dip in the pool before they arrived, it's the first time I've been in the pool all by myself. Peaceful. I would have stayed in longer except I had cleaning and cooking to get done. It wasn't really a hot day (but the water was warm) which is why no one else came in.
Sunday night Tim came down sick, and was home all Monday. I'm not sure if I had a touch of the same thing, my tummy has continued to be a bit upset since the antibiotics, despite drinking Yakult (fermented milk drink, sounds horrible but tastes like melted ice cream). I'll try more home-made yoghurt. Anyway, Tim is fine now. He's been very overworked lately and needs the upcoming Christmas break.
I've done a couple more Christmas shopping trips and have now (I think) finished getting presents for Tim and our kids as well as the other children in the family. Just a few more things to get, now; father-in-law, brother etc. I feel very organised this year. We have also already sorted out who is bringing what food on the day. And the least-reliable person is bringing things I don't like anyway, so that is perfect! I don't care if they forget. My part, the turkey and roast vegetables, is no more than I do most Sundays anyway. I'm feeling very relaxed about it all.
I've also spent time organising my study notes and I've started writing a summary for one of my subjects that I did in first semester before I realised it was the aspect of library work that I wanted to pursue. The manual we were given is good, but for other important subjects I've already written detailed notes that have been invaluable in exams and I think useful for when I get a job. I haven't bothered for subjects like Event Management or Promote Literature, but a ten-page summary is a very useful resource when you need to assign a Dewey Decimal Number.
One thing I plan for this two-month holiday break is to make a start on the novel I've been thinking about. I still like my first book, it's my first-born, but I can see now that it has its flaws. I sent it to a couple of places ages ago but I don't think I will continue to try to get it published, at least not at the moment or in its present form. Maybe I'll revise it one day. I'm not sad about shelving it, the work was not wasted if it makes me a better author. And I don't really want publishing houses to associate my name with anything other than my best work! I've been thinking about a completely different story for a year or so, too busy to write during term (and I get all the computer time my RSI can take while studying), it would be good to get a start on writing it down. And my last semester will be a much lighter workload, only three subjects plus placement (work experience) instead of the six subjects per semester I had been doing.
Our garage still has a pile of boxes that don't seem to have anything essential in them, I want to finish going through them (two years after we moved!) and we have also accumulated a bunch of other stuff filling the space - children's bicycles too small for them, broken wheelbarrow, rolls of old carpet. So I've organised for a charity to come and pick up the good stuff like the bicycles and then booked in a council clean up (we get two a year as taxpayers and haven't used the service yet) where they pick up a pile of junk from your curb. We're supposed to have two-car garage here but have never fit in the second car!
Aside from all that, I've been resting! Nothing can send me off to a peaceful afternoon nap like watching the cricket on TV. The commentators drone along about how this is the highest score by a red-headed Englishman on a wet Tuesday and I nod off. The short forms of the game are exciting and I love the Big Bash (three and a half hour long matches) but the original five-day Test matches are long hot summer day dozing material. It's pouring outside at the moment - even better for a nap!
On Sunday we had family over for Dungeons and Dragons as usual and dinner. I managed a quick 10 min dip in the pool before they arrived, it's the first time I've been in the pool all by myself. Peaceful. I would have stayed in longer except I had cleaning and cooking to get done. It wasn't really a hot day (but the water was warm) which is why no one else came in.
Sunday night Tim came down sick, and was home all Monday. I'm not sure if I had a touch of the same thing, my tummy has continued to be a bit upset since the antibiotics, despite drinking Yakult (fermented milk drink, sounds horrible but tastes like melted ice cream). I'll try more home-made yoghurt. Anyway, Tim is fine now. He's been very overworked lately and needs the upcoming Christmas break.
I've done a couple more Christmas shopping trips and have now (I think) finished getting presents for Tim and our kids as well as the other children in the family. Just a few more things to get, now; father-in-law, brother etc. I feel very organised this year. We have also already sorted out who is bringing what food on the day. And the least-reliable person is bringing things I don't like anyway, so that is perfect! I don't care if they forget. My part, the turkey and roast vegetables, is no more than I do most Sundays anyway. I'm feeling very relaxed about it all.
I've also spent time organising my study notes and I've started writing a summary for one of my subjects that I did in first semester before I realised it was the aspect of library work that I wanted to pursue. The manual we were given is good, but for other important subjects I've already written detailed notes that have been invaluable in exams and I think useful for when I get a job. I haven't bothered for subjects like Event Management or Promote Literature, but a ten-page summary is a very useful resource when you need to assign a Dewey Decimal Number.
One thing I plan for this two-month holiday break is to make a start on the novel I've been thinking about. I still like my first book, it's my first-born, but I can see now that it has its flaws. I sent it to a couple of places ages ago but I don't think I will continue to try to get it published, at least not at the moment or in its present form. Maybe I'll revise it one day. I'm not sad about shelving it, the work was not wasted if it makes me a better author. And I don't really want publishing houses to associate my name with anything other than my best work! I've been thinking about a completely different story for a year or so, too busy to write during term (and I get all the computer time my RSI can take while studying), it would be good to get a start on writing it down. And my last semester will be a much lighter workload, only three subjects plus placement (work experience) instead of the six subjects per semester I had been doing.
Our garage still has a pile of boxes that don't seem to have anything essential in them, I want to finish going through them (two years after we moved!) and we have also accumulated a bunch of other stuff filling the space - children's bicycles too small for them, broken wheelbarrow, rolls of old carpet. So I've organised for a charity to come and pick up the good stuff like the bicycles and then booked in a council clean up (we get two a year as taxpayers and haven't used the service yet) where they pick up a pile of junk from your curb. We're supposed to have two-car garage here but have never fit in the second car!
Aside from all that, I've been resting! Nothing can send me off to a peaceful afternoon nap like watching the cricket on TV. The commentators drone along about how this is the highest score by a red-headed Englishman on a wet Tuesday and I nod off. The short forms of the game are exciting and I love the Big Bash (three and a half hour long matches) but the original five-day Test matches are long hot summer day dozing material. It's pouring outside at the moment - even better for a nap!
Friday, December 1, 2017
Summer and the tree
Friday:
First day of summer and it was a scorcher!
After four weeks with pretty much no exercise (I was sick most of that time, I’ve finished my course of antibiotics and I’m fine now except for a disordered gut microbiome) I decided to start easing back into it. I did 15 minutes of dance and stopped while I still felt ok. I probably could have done more but the last couple of times I tried I set back my recovery so I’m being careful.
In the afternoon we went in the pool. Jasmine is still pink in the arms and face after last weekend so she wore a shirt over her cossie and we didn’t stay in long.
Saturday:
We had another swim this morning, then storms swept in and gave the parched garden a nice watering. I did another 15 minutes dance exercise.
After lunch we put up our Christmas tree. Red and silver theme this year:
First day of summer and it was a scorcher!
After four weeks with pretty much no exercise (I was sick most of that time, I’ve finished my course of antibiotics and I’m fine now except for a disordered gut microbiome) I decided to start easing back into it. I did 15 minutes of dance and stopped while I still felt ok. I probably could have done more but the last couple of times I tried I set back my recovery so I’m being careful.
In the afternoon we went in the pool. Jasmine is still pink in the arms and face after last weekend so she wore a shirt over her cossie and we didn’t stay in long.
Saturday:
We had another swim this morning, then storms swept in and gave the parched garden a nice watering. I did another 15 minutes dance exercise.
After lunch we put up our Christmas tree. Red and silver theme this year:
I've had a poster of Legolas for many years, it's been through at least two moves with us. Jasmine had the idea of getting him into the Christmas spirit:
The tip of the arrow really does follow you around the room! No matter where you stand, he's aiming at you.
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