Time to look back, time to look forward.
Since this a weight loss blog, start with that! This morning I weighed 75.4 kg. I lost a total of 3.8 kg over 2017. Actually of course I gained a bit then lost more. Looking at the total difference over the year explains why people didn't notice my weight loss and I don't need a smaller size in summer clothes, I'm not really that much different than I was this time last year. But 3.8 kg loss is still a win! And I lost 0.8 kg this week, despite Christmas Day, Boxing Day, New Year's Eve, several family events. I'm restarting the BSD (blood sugar diet) in earnest today, I've been sort of doing it for four days already but with added treats.
Yesterday I arranged with my cousins to go out and see Poppa for lunch, since he wasn't available at Christmas. My mother's father is 99 and still living in his own home. His younger son lives right across the road but he still looks after himself.
I let myself get a bit worked up about seeing that side of the family, all my cousins (and aunts, for that matter) are thin and I hate that I'm always the fat one. The only fat one. They are all very attractive, too. And nice people. Don't you hate that? Anyway as usual I got quite stressed and unhappy when I should have been excited to see them. But it was ok once I got there, it was nice to see everyone. And I was reminded not to assume that thin = happy. My favourite cousin was stressed about some stuff going on in her life, and clearly had low self esteem about some things. Also, when I complimented the salad she brought, she mentioned that she and her sister ate it often when they were trying to lose weight. So they are no magically thin with no effort! It's always seemed to me that they eat what they want, but in reality now we're adults I only see them at celebrations like Christmas and weddings when of course everyone is having dessert and other treats. They don't eat like that every day!
We had Tim's side of the family over here for dinner, they stayed until about 9:30 but most have young children so didn't stay until midnight. I usually go to bed myself, but for some reason allowed myself to be convinced to stay up. Not really worth it in my opinion, I'm paying for it today with tiredness.
Overall 2017 has been good for me. I've really enjoyed doing my TAFE course, our swimming pool is finally finished, and I lost a bit of weight. Probably bad stuff happened too, plenty of frustrations along the way, but I'm going to focus on the good.
And 2018? The two big goals are to finish my TAFE course and find a job as a Library Technician somewhere that doesn't have a hideously long commute, and lose some more weight. Ultimately about 18 kg but I'm not putting a time limit on that. I'm not in total control of what I weigh, only of my behaviours. I'll do the BSD for 8 weeks as a start, exercise for 30 mins five days a week, drink more water.