I'm feeling a lot more in control today. We've organised the next few weeks around seeing my mum several times for short visits. We're still going on our holiday, but have changed the travel arrangements around a bit so we can see her more. Since she's not having surgery, there'll be no immediate change to her level of health or need for care. Or course chemo can make people pretty sick so I might be staying with her after each round, or else she might stay at her sister's. Not sure when that is starting. I am definitely a planner, and it's really helped me to be able to work out what I'll be doing for the next few weeks leading up to Christmas. At least it means I don't have so much uncertaincy on top of the shock and grief.
We had some lovely news today, a bit earlier than expected, a close family member had her baby yesterday. Little Eliza. I'm not sure exactly when she was due but it wasn't for another few weeks. But she and her mum are doing fine so that is great. That was the baby shower I missed last weekend. The present I bought for that will do just as well for a "welcome to the world"!
I spent today Christmas shopping. Nearly all day by myself, then after getting the kids from school we went out again to buy their presents for daddy. By the time we got home (time for me to start dinner!) I was utterly exhausted with aching legs. But it was still better than the previous two days when I just wandered around the house in a daze. Good to be out doing something. I feel a bit less helpless and lost. More Christmas shopping tomorrow.
I haven't been thinking about weight loss for the past few days, but neither have I been turning to food which has surprised me a bit. I'm eating about the same or even a bit less than usual. So that is good, but I can't claim any credit for it. I just haven't really felt like eating.