I had a long talk to mum, today I was better able to process information and ask questions. The one, very surprising, piece of good news is that my brother Darren is suddenly being very helpful since she told him last night. He's washed the dishes and he answered the phone when I called (normally he wouldn't bother, just wait for mum to get it) and offered to take her to the specialist tomorrow. She accepted, more to encourage his behaviour rather than because she actually wanted him there I think, but it is great to know he is helping rather than being a burden.
The other news is all bad. The breast cancer that spread to her bones is in her pelvis, right shoulder and the back of her skull. I can't remember now if she said spine as well. The pain and stiffness in her hips is making it hard to walk. It's spread so far that I can't imagine a good prognosis. She is hardly eating at all. She is being positive though. The person she is seeing tomorrow is the breast surgeon, she hasn't seen an oncologist yet.
She says she doesn't need me to come and stay right now, she just spends her days resting and she has her sister ready to do anything needed, but accepted that she might need me later after surgery or during chemo. I'm relieved she doesn't seem to be resisting that. As I expected, she encouraged me to still go on our family holiday. I'll wait until hearing from her tomorrow to decide and finalise our arrangements. She's happy for us to all visit this weekend as long as it is a short visit, she'll probably needs to go and rest fairly soon, so we'll organise that as well.
I'm going to do her Christmas shopping for her and maybe stuff for her hospital stay as well depending on when that will be.
At the moment I'm in practical mode, just getting things done.