But

Monday:

My darling boy is 8 years old today. Still my baby.

I was awake from 5am coughing and blowing my nose so eventually I got up, sitting upright is slightly better when you are a snot machine. I was tired though, so after presents and breakfast and walking to the chemist near the school to buy more tissues, I settled in front of the TV to watch the second innings of last night's cricket match and fell asleep almost immediately. Cricket is awesome for sleeping to. A traditional match goes for five whole days, so you can have a nap and not miss anything. Then they invented one-day matches (controversial!). Last night's match between Australia and South Africa was the new exciting twenty/20 format that only takes around three hours and is much more dramatic. I'd watched the first half then gone to bed early last night, recording the second half so I could watch this morning.

I woke from my nap an hour later, right at the end, Australia close to winning but not assured. I watched for five minutes then the recording ended with only another five minutes to go! I had set it to run an extra 15 mins just in case but even that wasn't enough. Argh! I had to look up the ending online. (We won, but it was quite close.)

My three mouth ulcers have stopped me snacking on anything sweet, but that didn't prevent me getting into the leftover Burger Rings this morning. And my blood sugars went up to 12.5 mmol/L afterwards (225 mg/dl) which is completely unacceptable. I totally suck at looking after myself properly. I hope that result was influenced by being sick, otherwise it looks like a scary plunge towards full blown diabetes.

I have been sick so much all this year and I think the sleep apnoea has a lot to do with that, being constantly sleep deprived is a serious problem for the body. I need to get my weight under control to get rid of the sleep apnoea, or at least improve it. But losing weight would be so much easier if I didn't have sleep apnoea... yeah well this is where I am right now and I have to break the circle somehow. I am so sick of being sick all the time. Not just my usual "fat and tired" but actually catching every disease going around.

I have to stop thinking about losing weight for the wedding Christmas and start thinking about nourishing my body and getting healthier. Eating foods that promote wellness not illness. Moving my body. Do I sound like a broken record? Do anybody even use records anymore? A scratched CD, then.

But it's my baby's birthday and we are going out to dinner tonight.

But we have left over junk food from the party which I am raiding saving for tomorrow's games night.

But I am going to a wedding on the weekend and there will be fancy delicious food.

But

But