Do I really want to see my behind on TV?

Tuesday:

This morning I went to the local shopping centre for my appointment with my doctor. As I was getting out of the car I noticed a guy with what looked like a small TV camera on his shoulder, but all black with no branding or channel. Over in the next aisle of cars was a sound man and some other people, calling back and forth about 'wait one minute', 'ok, ready,' etc. My first guess was it was an advertisement, then an amateur movie or stunt for YouTube.

Then they filmed a young couple running from their car to the shops and the woman had a row of shopping bags over her arm, all branded MKR! My Kitchen Rules is a cooking show where each pair of contestants (a couple, or a brother/sister team, or best friends, or any other combination really) hosts a dinner party for all the other contestants. One pair from each Australian state, plus a couple of celebrity chef judges. It means cooking a fancy three course meal for a dozen or more people, a real strain on a home kitchen.

Obviously they were shooting for the upcoming season. The contestants only get one day to prepare (apparently they have to submit a few menu options and they only get told which one they are doing that morning) so they have to shop, decorate the dining area, prep and cook everything all in one day; and they are only allowed to start preparing the food three hours before people arrive. In previous seasons I've seen overconfident underprepared teams eventually serving dessert around midnight. It was about 9.20am when I saw them arrive, both outside and then inside the centre going into the sponsoring supermarket Coles.

I didn't want to spoil the shoot so I just went about my business as a casual bystander. If I do appear in the background, it is most likely of me walking away from them. So, wonderful, if any of me gets on TV it will be my butt. It was very exciting though. I love that show. Go team ACT!

I had my appointment with my doctor to discuss my pelvic exam. She is referring me to a gyno, just in case, but actually thinks my problems are most likely due to my low-dose pill not being strong enough. (I brought this up last visit but she wanted me to have the ultrasound first.) So I'm changing to a higher-dose pill and we'll see how that goes for a few months then see the gyno. She was not at all worried about the little nodule in my uterus, as I'm not having any pain from it.

I spent the rest of the morning shopping - picking up dry cleaning, socks and pjs for the kids. There were I few things I needed for myself but that didn't go well. My jeans split a month or more ago and I've been wearing my older "fat" pair that are men's jeans, a bit saggy at the crotch, and a size too big. I was determined to get some new ones today. But I went to my two favourite shops and tried everything on and nothing was even as good as the ones I had on! Either my stomach sagged or if it was reined in I had a huge muffin top, or if they fit at the waist then the crotch drooped. If they fit my thighs nicely, I couldn't zip them up.

I used to have an hourglass shape, a bit overweight but with womanly curves. Now I am just apple-shaped. It was very discouraging to not be able to find a pair of jeans that fit nicely.

I also tried on a sports bra, as mine all dig in painfully around the rib-band. The one I tried on was even worse, it was like a vice and left a welt after only being on 30 seconds. The assistant suggested an extender.

I'm starting to need an extender to get clothes to fit?

I've had some kind of stomach flu for a week so I haven't been exercising, but I have been eating. It's really cold so I've been craving salt and fat.

There have been other stresses, too. My husband has been unhappy at work for a while - and on medication for high blood pressure due to stress - and looking around for another job. Things have suddenly got worse so he really wants to get out and is willing to take a bit of a pay cut if it means a better work environment. But we might need to move house in a hurry, even to another state. I actually want to move, but it is a stressful situation all the same.

I need some other way to deal with stress, sadness, boredom, anger, happiness, tiredness etc than eating.