Wednesday, February 26, 2014



I made a doctor's appointment about my disintegrating sleep a fortnight ago, then cancelled because I thought things were getting better. Well I've had a few good nights here and there but basically I'm tired all the time. I've had three or four particularly bad nights in a row this week and I'm shambling around barely coping, struggling to sit through lectures during the day and study in the evening and even worrying if I'm fit to drive. I have no idea why I am waking frequently at night but I've made an appointment with a doctor for Monday to start investigating physical causes. I know I am snoring at least some of the time and I have had another thing for a few weeks which I find embarrassing to say, I'm sort of drooling. I have to wipe the corners of my mouth, not really frequently, but even sometimes is bad enough. And a bit at night too, maybe more than I know. It seems like I must have a problem with my upper respiratory tract but I don't have a blocked nose or any other symptoms. Are the muscles in my mouth and throat relaxing too much or something? Weird and a bit scary. Anyway, I'll see a doctor.

My day includes around 6000-8000 steps but I am not doing any exercise on top of that, I just don't have the energy. I drag my feet even getting to classes or walking the kids to school. What I am more worried about is that I turn to food, fatty sugary food, in a desperate search for energy. I know that is only a short term fix with bad long term consequences, so I need to get control of that. I had junk food in the house for my daughter's party on the weekend, and then my brother-in-law left some biscuits and sweets here, and then we had Dungeons and Dragons supper, and I've ended up with more junk than I started with.

I know I should throw it all out. Last night I got the tub of leftover chocolate cream cheese frosting out of the fridge. I made too much, and was silly to keep it in the first place. I got a spoon to scoop it all into the bin. And had a taste. And stood there next to the bin, telling myself just one more taste then I'd throw out the rest, eating a bit more and a bit more. Then I put it back in the fridge. Too weak.

1 comment:

  1. Hi Natalie, I hope your sleep gets better soon.

    Regarding frosting, you have to force yourself to get tougher about that. However, that lack of willpower may be directly related to you being very tired. I don't eat very good when I'm excessively tired.