W11 D4 - Hot and tired (doing well)

I have exercised 4 days in a row, 50/50 on Sunday (previously blogged), x-trainer/rowing/bike on Monday, BodyPump yesterday morning and BodyStep this morning. I am both sleepy-tired and muscularly-tired, I think I need a break. May or may not try Zumba tomorrow night.

Yesterday the sun was definitely thinking about rising when I got out of the house. I got to the gym on time, but was one of the last in the room and it was packed! Last week I merely missed out on the weights I wanted, this week there wasn't even any bars left! I had to use the instructors second bar (she, like some others in the class, use 2 so they don't have to take weights on and off for different muscle groups). I used the heavier weights again, Pump is feeling really good.

This morning I was again one of the last in the room and it was nearly as full as yesterday, so I was right up the front beside the instructors platform rather than in front of it, so I was turned a bit sideways compared to everyone else which was a little confusing when learning new steps (it was a new routine starting today, they run each routine for a few weeks - a month maybe?). Fourth day in a row, I was quite tired. But worse, I was hot. Someone else complained about the temperature and they checked but the air conditioning was on, or so said reception. I drip sweat in that class anyway, and I was really starting to suffer in the heat. Someone up the back slipped and twisted their ankle so we stopped for a few minutes so she could be looked after, but as soon as we started again I was hot and exhausted. I kept at it for half an hour, with a few short breaks to try to recover, then decided I couldn't do it any more and left. The difference in temperature between that room and out in the weights room was very noticable, the moment I walked out the door there was blessedly cool air on my face.

Another reason I left the class early was that yesterday all the showers were busy when I finished my class so I just went home and showered there, I don't sweat nearly so much in a Pump class so I was ok with doing that. But today I needed a shower right away and couldn't face the possibility that I would force myself through the class and then couldn't have a cool shower straight away! So I left early, had my long luke-warm shower and came out as the rest of the class were starting on their abs. I still got in 30 mins of very strenuous exercise and don't regret leaving early, I think it was the right decision.

First day of Spring!

W11 D1 - Weigh In

This morning I was 83.1kg. Bummer. I really only went to the gym twice last week, plus one good gardening session, and my eating was pretty bad. Three slices of Tim-made raspberry cheesecake yesterday! Not his fault, I bought the ingredients.

It's a new day, and a new week. This morning I went to the gym to my favorite 50/50 class, it seemed really hard but I got throught it. This afternoon we all went to the Japanese gardens and the kids ran around while Tim and I sat in the late-winter sun and talked. Then home and some housework. Tiring but nice day. And a lamb roast to look forward to!

W10 D6 - Chocolate. Lots of chocolate.

I went to the gym this morning, did 20 mins X-trainer, 5 mins rowing machine, 20 mins bike. Worked up a good sweat.

On Fridays I try to get out of the house, so I take my birthday lap-top and go and find a new place to sit and work. Today I had the bright idea of going to the chocolate shop, Koko Black, in the city. First I had morning tea - a taster plate with a teeny chocolate cake, a scrumptious scoop of chocolate mousse, and two shortbread biscuits. I also bought one passionfruit ganache chocolate. All delicious. Then I tried to work for a couple of hours. They had the doors open and it was rather cold, and the little table and hard wooden chair were not ideal. And I bought an unwanted expensive mineral water to justify my continued presence. The plan was for my husband to come and meet me and we would go to lunch, but he called at 1pm to say he couldn't make it. So had lunch at a nearby favourite Chinese and went home.

W10 D5 - Zumba, or not

I've been too busy to blog for the past week. When I last wrote, I thought I was getting over my cold/flu but I got a bit worse again. Saturday I weirdly swelled up such that I couldn't wear my wedding ring. Sunday I was much better, and did an hour of strenuous gardening which I count as my exercise for that day. I forgot to weigh myself on the weekend, but on Monday I was 82.6kg so no real change there.

I did not go to the gym on Monday, I decided that this was the last year I would get a whole day alone with Aiden (next year he will have 5 days a week at either preschool [3 mornings] or childcare [school hours]) so I took him to Questacon, Canberra's wonderful Science Museum. It is all interactive with animatronic dinosaurs and Mini Q for 0-6 year olds and a room showing you how music works and all sorts of great things. We used to have an annual pass, but haven't been for a while since that expired.

Tuesday I got up at the crack of dawn (it was actually almost sunrise! Yay for almost Spring) and did BodyPump. I wasn't late, but I was last in the room and all the lightest weights were gone! No-one else uses the lightest weights by themselves, but they add and subtract for different exercises. I had to grab the second-lightest weights. Only half a kilo (about a pound) heavier - but remember I had only just gone up to the lightest weights from nothing but the bar! And I felt it! It was good though. I really felt like I was working, but without hurting my shoulders. I think I will have to continue with the new weights. My thighs were sore the next day, from the squats and lunges with the extra weight.

I had a restless night, waking often checking what time it was and telling myself I still had 3 hours (or whatever) before the alarm went off. By the time it did, I was exhausted. I turned it off and went back to sleep. Very bad precedent. But I don't really regret it. I had felt wiped out when I went to bed at 9.30 , and I still felt wiped out when I finally got up at 7.30.

Today, I didn't get up early because I planned to go to Zumba tonight at 7.15pm. My husband usually gets home at 7.00, which would allow me to make it if I was dressed and ready to run out the door. But there was a bad combination of circumstances - he was about 10 mins late (too late), and I was still frantically working on an editing job that was due back and I didn't get finished until about another 10 mins after that (much too late). Oh well, maybe next week.

Friday is supposed to be my usual day off, but I have just had 2 days off so I will go to the gym after I have dropped the kids off, before I start work. That eats into my work time, but I really need to put some priority on exercising. After the gym, I plan to take my laptop out to another new place (Koko Black, a chocolate shop that Tim has bought me things from but I have never actually gone in and sat with a hot chocolate) and then meet Tim for lunch, and then come home to finish whatever various kinds of work I have for the day. I have an editing job already lined up, about 3 hours worth, and I have to write up an article for the Editing Society's newsletter, and read some fiction for a competition I am judging... plenty to do.

Oh... diet... bad. 5 days until Spring, my plan is to start working on my eating habits then.

W9 D5 - mostly better

I was feeling horrible for 2 days, much better today. I still have a runny nose but no longer feel like my head is full of snot, and my sore throat and headache have gone away. I will continue to rest myself tomorrow, then back into exercise on Saturday.

I do seem to get sick whenever I throw myself into exercise. Ease into it then, you say? But when I exercise more gently/less often I don't seem to get any results (I suppose it is good for me anyway - better than nothing) and I have to ramp it up sometime! But when I do, I get sick. Or maybe it's only when I exercise hard, then take a break. Hmm, happened after my birthday, then this week. Work hard, take 2 days off in a row, and bam. Frustrating. Hopefully, if I keep trying, I will eventually get fit enough to get past this. Of course I probably get sick just as often even when I don't exercise. I have 2 kids to pick up every germ going around.

I felt very productive today. No paid work, but lots of stuff from my list of things to do.

W9 D3 - sicker

My husband woke me just before 6am to ask what time I had to get up to go to the gym (it would have been too late anyway). I said "I'm sick, I'm not going to the gym", and went back to sleep.

I feel like death warmed up. Sore throat, headache, runny nose, tired eyes, achey and tired. And I had to work until 9.30pm - just finished then. But that job is done and sent off thank all the gods. I can now collapse and take tomorrow off. Much of it in bed, hopefully.

W9 D2 - not seedy, sick

Yesterday I thought my general malaise was due to the cocktail party the night before, but I am worse today so I guess I am sick. Sore throat, headache, fatigued. I cancelled creche and didn't go to the gym this morning. Got through the grocery shopping with Aiden in tow.

I will just have to be very careful about what I eat, if I can't exercise for a few (more) days.

I have editing work to do, I picked up a job on Friday that is due Tuesday (tomorrow night), I haven't had much free time and it is taking longer than I thought. I need to get some done today while Aiden entertains himself, and finish it tomorrow while he is at playschool. I am a bit worried, also, that I might be on a downward sickness slope, so I need to get as much done as I can while my brain is still functioning.

W9 D1 - Weigh in

Wow I feel so seedy this morning. Nice party last night, too many cocktails. There was a belly dancer as entertainment. But I feel shocking this morning, I have already missed my 50/50 gym class and I have to do editing work this morning and take my daughter to a party this afternoon so I don't think I will be exercising (again) today, not a great start to the new week.

The past three days my weight has been: 82.5kg, 81.9kg, 82.8kg! Bit of up and down, eh? Today very up! Although I exercised pretty hard most of the week, I also had a very bad food week, two parties, a supper, some take-away, and various other junk. This week my goal is to track calories and stay under my limit! And exercise 5 days.

W8 D7 - Party time

I didn't go to the gym today but I did go for a brisk walk with my husband, up to the bike shop to pick up his bike. He forgot to take his helmet so he couldn't ride it back, so we briskly walked back together. His bike was in the shop because about 6 months ago he came off it, at speed, on a slippery wet bike path on the way to work and broke his shoulder blade. A few cyclists rode past him, as he lay there in the rain, but no-one stopped so he called me on his mobile. I threw the kids in the car and drove over there. I had to take his bike apart so I could fit it in the boot and get Tim to the hospital emergency room. I knew nothing about the intricacies of taking a bicycle apart, and ended up getting both wheels off but probably leaving a couple of small parts behind. Anyway, he is all healed up now but his bike was not in the best condition after my ministrations so he put it in for a service and picked it up today. He can't actually ride it yet until he replaces his helmet, and needs to also get some riding gear. His previous compression pants were ripped apart by the gravel, and then cut off by the nurse.

My mum is visiting this weekend, so she is babysitting tonight while Tim and I go to a party. Yay parties! It is a friends birthday - she says she is turning 21 again.... It is a cocktail party, apparently inspired by my own party 6 weeks ago.

I also went to a party of sorts last night. My speculative fiction writing guild has had lots of nominations for Ditmar (SF) awards in various categories so we were celebrating. The website I review books for got a nomination, so I guess that counts as me! The party itself was pretty lame, it was basically like a regular meeting without the structure and we all took a plate of food or some (atrocious) wine. And I was on time and spent 10 minutes waiting in the winter cold and dark outside the hall waiting for someone with keys to turn up, wondering if I was in the right place. It turned out ok, but I hope tonight's birthday party is a lot more fun.

Back to the gym tomorrow.

W8 D6 - Day off

Today was my day off from exercise (and early mornings) to give my body a rest. The kids woke a bit earlier than I liked, but at least I got to sleep in a hour later than the past 3 mornings. Of course I also went to bed an hour later last night! Oh well.

Some bad food choices today (all week in fact) and I feel rather bloated and yuck. Probably mainly due to it being that time of the month. I foolishly weighed myself this morning - back up to 82.5kg, again probably due to the time of the month. I hope. But I do need to get my eating under control at some point!

My medium-long term goal at the moment is to be 70kg by Christmas. A bit over 12 kg in 19 weeks. My first thought was for 17kg (65kg), but nearly a kilo a week might be a bit ambitious. I don't know what my eventual goal is yet. I used to think 55kg, that might be unrealistic but I am not sure. I think 58kg is the top of my "healthy" weight range so I will go for that. Ten years ago, my acupuncturist thought I should weigh 45kg! I would be a skeleton. Asian girls can be skinny. But, depressingly, he thought I was "obese" when I thought I was still a rather sexy shape!

So, my Christmas goal is 12kg out of a total of 24 (.5) to lose. Halfway. I'll get there. And 70kg would be so exciting. I didn't really start to HATE my weight/shape until about 73kg.

W8 D5 - Stumbling out of bed

It was really really hard to get up at 5.45am this morning. I slept much better, only waking a couple of times (which is probably normal, everyone wakes a few times during the night but usually doesn't remember it), so I was actually asleep when the alarm went off. I got up to pee but it was a huge mental effort not to crawl back into my warm bed. I told myself I couldn't get slack (in the first week back!) and lose momentum, and that I had tomorrow off and could sleep in until 7.30 then. I wavered a bit but with sheer willpower (don't say it doesn't exist!) I got into my gym gear and out the door.

It wasn't raining, maybe just a light sprinkle, and wonder of wonders I could see a lighter area low on the eastern horizon - evidence of the sun waiting to rise! Winter is nearly over.

Today I put more weight on my bar for BodyPump. That is, I put SOME weight on my bar! 1kg on each end. It was certainly managable, probably not too long until I can increase that a bit, always being careful of my shoulders. I still had no weight on the bar for the 2 tracks where you lie down, that hurt my r. shoulder at one point even with just the empty bar. And I didn't do push ups or the other floor-work (abs) at the end, hurts the neck and shoulders too much. But I did a lot, and certainly more than Tuesday, just 2 days ago!, so I feel quite good about it.

I was starving hungry when I got home, I would have made poached eggs but the pan I use was dirty and I could be bothered taking the time to wash it so I just had toast.

W8 D4 - No more tears

I got up at 5.45am this morning (light drizzle, 6 degrees which isn't too bad for Canberra winter), and went to BodyStep. I got through the whole thing and didn't cry! Yay!

I don't have any boosters under my step, so I have the lowest step in the whole class, but I am certainly working hard enough. I didn't see my face until after my shower, but at that point I still looked like I had 2nd degree sunburn. Very red. And I was still sweating after my shower too. It is a great class, very hard work but fun. Step is my favourite.

My food is still a bit out of control, but I am not worried. I am not concentrating on that at the moment. Just working hard at exercise. I really should focus on drinking more tho.

I am quite good at choreography and picking up new routines, but by the end of the class I was so tired I had to stop a couple of times to catch up with what the instructor was doing, and nearly fell off the step twice.

I got new gym shoes on the weekend, but I am not sure about them. My right foot hurt through a lot of the class, even though I adjusted the laces a couple of times. They are less than a week old, I'm pretty sure I can still take them back if I want. I will give them a few more days. I'm not sure if they are supportive enough around the sides of the foot - I chose them for that light bouncy feeling but maybe I should have gone for the other pair.

W8 D3 - Pumping it

I've been keeping up with the exercise, I put Aiden in creche yesterday and did crosstrainer/rowing maching/bike for 50 mins, and today I went to the 6.15am Pump class.

We had our usual Monday night D&D game, but I left them to their merriment and went to bed at 9.30. I slept very poorly, waking 6 or 7 times to check the clock. I was using my new mobile phone as the alarm and I had not used that function before and I guess I didn't quite trust it. Hopefully this won't be a problem in future. The alarm came on as planned, rather pleasantly musical. Of course it was pitch dark, and pouring rain.

Got up, Aiden woke and cried (not sure why) and I went and comforted him which used up precious seconds, dressed but no time to make even a rudimentary breakfast so grabbed a muesli bar to eat in the car. Gym seemed even more crowded than usual at that ungodly hour, I guess all the runners had to come inside too.

I have mixed feelings about the class itself. I have to be very careful because of my dodgy shoulders; I have to modify some of the moves and I do the whole class with no weight on the bar - just the bar itself which probably weighs less than a kilo. I think I can move up to 1kg each side next time for a couple of the tracks, but for most of it the bar itself is enough. I was protecting my shoulders, but I didn't feel I was using my muscles enough. Other times I have found it hard work so I am not sure what was different today - do I usually use some weight for some of it? It has been a while. I will work up to it, anyway. The exercise is good for my shoulders if I am gentle, but there are some moves I just can't do. I must have done some work, because by the end I was in a rather slimy sweat and my body feels tired, but at the time I wasn't feeling the muscle burn as much as usual.

Well, three days of exercise in a row is great.

There isn't any work up for me yet today - maybe I should go and have a nap!

W8 D1 - 82.2kg

I only went to the gym twice in the past week and ate really badly - junk and snacks and meals smothered in creamy sauces - yet I am back down to 82.2kg. Go figure. Oh well, not complaining.

But the deal was that I go to the gym 4 times a week and I didn't do that, so I am going to have to go to early morning gym classes. I kind of want to. I want to feel like I am pushing myself, that I am really making an effort to get healthy. I'll go to 6.15am classes on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday.

I did my 50/50 class this morning, worked really hard and I'm all tired and pink in the face, even after my shower. I do so much better in a group class, with a trainer up the front egging me on. It felt different this week, not that it was easy (definitely not) but last week I just started with no energy and the whole class was a struggle, much better today.

I haven't been tracking my calories, but I have started that again today. I will track even when I eat bad things and/or go over my calorie limit. It's great to start the day with exercise; both because it is done and out of the way, and because I know I have all those extra calories and don't have to deprive myself. Also, having just exercised makes me more likely to eat healthily because I feel healthy. But goodness I am tired, I could go straight back to bed now. If I didn't have a husband and children who want some attention. They already let me have a nap yesterday afternoon!

As I often complain to people, and my doctor, I am tired nearly all the time. My doctor recently ran some blood tests and there is nothing wrong with me other than a vitamin D defficiency - crazy for someone in Australia but I don't go outside much - so I am on tablets for that, when I remember to take them, and I am supposed to go out in the sun (not in the middle of the day of course) for half an hour each day. Which I still don't. Anyway, my constant tiredness seems to just be from being unfit. I can no longer blame my kids for waking me during the night. My body just isn't working efficiently, and I don't sleep comfortably at night. Exercise should help me sleep because my body will be properly tired, and losing weight will help me sleep more soundly. That is the theory anyway. I am sick of being tired and lethargic all the time.