Monday, February 11, 2013

Being good, being bad, and not giving up


Yesterday we drove to Sydney for my sister-in-law's baby shower. We had McDonald's for lunch on the way but I checked the carbs and calories online and Tim and I were both pretty moderate: six nuggets and a small fries each, no drink. Tim left the kids & I at the party and went off with the boys. The house had exploded with pinkness and sugar. The girls had descended and decorated everything, then covered all surfaces with beautifully decorated cupcakes, cookies, brownies and lollies (candy). There was even a table in the hall where you could make your own "party bag" as you left, with pink lollypops, pink jellybeans, musk sticks, pink smarties, raspberry licorice, and marshmallows -- plus the gingerbread I had made decorated to look like pink buttons (the theme was "cute as a button").

It was a lot to resist but luckily I don't really have a sweet tooth and everything was sweet! I still would have liked to have a few things but I only had a couple of pieces of chocolate and some watermelon, and also a piece of low-fat cheese that I had brought from home. Also two cups of tea from a gorgeous vintage English teacup, one girl collects them and brought them over for the occasion.

It was all very girly and ... pink. We played baby-shower games and gave presents and chatted and it was a really nice afternoon. The kids spent a lot of time playing their Nintendo or the iPad, I was amazed that I never had to drag them away from all the junk food. They had a few things but didn't over-do it at all. Aiden, who recently turned six, was the only male there and felt a bit shy, he spent a lot of time in my lap or retreated to the bedroom.

I actually thought to myself how lucky I was, for my powers of self-control, that it was all sweet and there was no chips to resist; then right at the end I noticed a pile of bags of chips and Doritos in the corner of the kitchen that had never been put out. So fortune smiled on me. I wasn't sorry, I was really glad. I wouldn't have eaten them anyway, but it's so much easier if they aren't even offered.

After the party the family and the party organisers went to a Chinese restaurant (which was kind of weird as my sister-in-law and her parents are Chinese so they have Chinese food all the time, but it was Chinese New Year so we felt it was appropriate) and again I ate moderately with only a little rice and a bit of everything else. Nothing deep fried. I guesstimate that I even stayed within my calories for the day, despite the party and eating out for two meals. We drove home late into the night while the kids slept in the back.

I don't know if it was the bad food that I did have, or the late night, or complete lack of exercise, or whatever, but my stomach rebelled during the night and I didn't feel so well. I really didn't want to get out of bed this morning to get the kids ready for their swimming carnival! And in the end I forgot to give Jasmine a towel. Whoops.

Anyway, by mid-morning I felt fine again. I worked hard all day finishing a project, no time for exercise unfortunately, then after school spent the next three hours basically ferrying children to their extra-curricular activities. Mondays are very busy for us and I still haven't worked out how to do it without take-away. Last week I at least tried to go for the least unhealthy option, but today I just dived head-first into the fried chicken. Hello salt and fat. I ate way too much, too, and after my husband got home and had his share I picked at the leftovers. I feel greasy and yuck. I'd been so good up until then! Maybe I had just used up all my resist-junk cards yesterday.

Afterwards I briefly had that feeling you get when you've broken a diet and you feel like you've done so badly you might as well give up. Major fail. But no. It is just one meal, just one slip-up. I entered the food into my tracker and didn't stress about the nearly 1000 calories for one meal or the carbs or the fat and salt. It is done, move on. Not only is tomorrow a new day, but this second is a new start. Or not even a new start, I don't need a new start. I never stopped. I tripped a bit but I am still going. A few pieces of fried chicken can't defeat me!

I think I have a couple of weeks now before my next big work project comes in so I'll only have little bits of work here & there, and plenty of time to exercise and plan healthy food and work out how I'm managing next Monday's hectic dinner-time. We have some cooler weather lined up so I can spend time outdoors. I need to do a lot of training for this Verti-cool challenge stair-climb and the best option I've found so-far is still the stairs near the library. I also want to do some running, and more dancing, and get back to the gym (where I haven't been for months, but they don't have childcare during school holidays) to do some weight training. I'm quite looking forward to it all. But sleep first.

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