Friday, March 13, 2015

A bit sad


Woke up today feeling stressed and depressed. Are we really thinking of borrowing a lot of money just when we've finally paid off our house? And all the stress and bother of moving house, new job, new schools, preparing old house for sale? And my novel needs a lot of revision, why did I ever think it was any good? And this whole losing weight thing, obviously I am a failure at that. My weight went up last weekend and is only a bit down from then - still high above my last weigh-in so I have to get rid of that extra weight before even starting on the "virgin weight". With two busy weekends full of temptations coming up. Why is life so difficult and scary and stressful? So that is how I started the day. Probably just a reaction to a couple of days of adrenalin.

And then I logged on and found that Terry Pratchett had died, which is really sad. He was a fantastic British comedic fantasy author (with lots of social commentary in his comedy) who the world had already kind of lost as an author several years ago due to early onset Alzheimer's. He was only 66 when he died. I have at least 30 books of his and I've been reading them since my early teens when I discovered him as an author, he's probably published one a year since then, until recently.

And then on my facebook stream I saw a clip from an upcoming episode of The Big Bang Theory which is about the death of Howard's mother (the actress recently died in real life) so you can imagine how the whole "mother death" impacted me today. I should have just stayed in bed.

I got out of the house, went out and did some essential shopping, like for my niece's second birthday party this weekend. I got books. I love giving books. Started feeling a bit better.

Came home and started re-reading one of my favourite Terry Pratchett books in memory of him while I had lunch.

Then got a phone call from probably the same people who scammed me last year about my computer, or another group who do the same thing. Of course this time I just made some loud obnoxious noises into the phone and hung up, but it gave me some bad stress flashbacks about last time when they actually got details from me and I had wipe my computer and change my credit cards (they didn't get any money, but it was scary).

I just noticed it's Friday the 13th. Ha. I don't believe in the power of a date, but when I worked in the public service the mentally unbalanced people really did seem to be affected by full moons, there were a lot more incidents during those two or three days. I guess if the moon cycle can affect something as big as the ocean, with tides, why not the human brain?

So, anyway, nothing terrible has happened to me today but I just feel down and everything is reminding me about the sadder side of life. I feel overwhelmed and tired. Hopefully better tomorrow.

Report card:
All poor.


  1. There are days like that; everything just seems so overwhelming. I hope tomorrow is much better for you. Hang in there.

  2. That's a lot of "worrying" you got going on. Think of worry like a rocking's doing something, but gets you nowhere!

    All things work out. Keep doing for others, it always helps when it seems our own problems are so huge!

    Here's to a better tomorrow!

  3. What you are not super-women! You are just human, take time to live all the events that are rushing toward you. You can't ignore the stress but you know what stress side effect would do to you, just be careful.

    I understand about being disappointed with your weight, but think that if you haven't change your way and were not doing so good most of the time, what would your weight be now? Maybe last week you would not have gain a little bit of weight, maybe last week you would have gain a lot. Have faith in yourself, you will get where you want.

  4. I got a rush of anxiety just from reading that. Certainly hope things have improved and I'm sorry about the loss of your beloved author. I wish life were easier for all of us, it can really pile it high sometimes. Stay strong.

  5. I am reading this post late. Hope things are going more smoothly today.