Thursday:
Thanks everyone for your kind wishes yesterday. I am feeling a lot better today. It's been a hard year so far, I'm hoping things improve soon. At least my mood has lifted.
I was looking at the first couple of weeks of this blog, which I started on 19 June 2010, a few days before my 40th birthday. My starting weight was 83.1 kg. I am less than a kilogram different today, nearly five years later. Five years of trying to swim upstream has kept me in the same spot. I suppose at least I haven't put on weight, which I'm sure I would have done if I wasn't fighting it. There's a strong current trying to wash me downstream. It feels like damn hard work to swim against it, and it is relentless. If you stop swimming, you start floating away immediately, and then you have to fight even harder to get back to where you were.
So what are the options? I can give up and get washed out into the vast sea where I will grow just as vast. I dream of getting towed along behind a boat, not having to do the work myself, but I don't believe the ads that promise a free ride (and once they've got a hook in your mouth, who knows where that will end). I can swim more consistently, so I don't keep slipping back... is this salmon metaphor going anywhere or have I lost the plot?
What I believe is that I know what I have to do, but I don't do it with any consistency. My average month probably has one good week, two mediocre weeks, one bad week. Which averages out to mediocre, which keeps me in the same weight range year after year. If I could even make it two good weeks and two mediocre weeks that would be a big improvement that might show some results.
I spent the morning present shopping and the afternoon in housework and time wasting. If you want a bit of a laugh, have a look at the web show "The Katering Show". The episode "I quit sugar" is hilarious (with a certain amount of profanity as they go through withdrawal). It's only 8 minutes long, go on, you've got 8 minutes. And you get to hear some Australian accents!
Report card:
Diet: Ok.
Exercise: Poor.
Water: Good. Yay!
Sleep: Ok.
Mental health: Good.
Thanks for sharing this with us, Natalie.
ReplyDeleteI don't have any words of wisdom like Martha and Richard probably will when they get here, but I will cheer you on along your journey.
I think your talk about consistency is in the right direction. 4 weeks of above average, even just a little, would produce results over the long term.
ReplyDeleteI think this is where I'm at right now; realizing that doing reall well for 3,4, or 5 weeks does no good if you follow it up with 3,4 or 5 weeks of poor behavior.
Don't give up, you can do it.
What do you call a fish without an eye?
ReplyDeleteA fsh (Couldn't resist the joke with the salmon metaphor.) LOL
Maybe you were just in training for today. You were too young, now, women-up and do not sin no more. Stay away from sugar, wine and bread. I really don't know what is your poison of choice so I just through out some to look like I know what I'm talking about.
But really Natalie, you have to need to change not want to change. It has to be a need, you can do it, if you would just take the right decision all the time. For the past 4 years it hasn't at least escape you, you must be drain, if you stop fighting with yourself, you will succeed.
Don't aim at 2 weeks per month, it's like to row your boat and as soon you have a little momentum, you stop. Of course the boat will slow and then stop, then because you are tired, you need so much more energy just to start it again, and again, and again.