Monday, September 19, 2016

Nasty dream


My weight this morning was 83.8 kg, a tiny bit up. It was down all week but Saturday undid that. Not that I "earned" any weight loss, I wasn't paying any attention to food or exercise all week. It was a hard week. Pelvic pain and headache all week, day and night, hopefully it will ease up now.

Yesterday we had family over in the afternoon, the boys played Arcana Evolved (a variant of Dungeons and Dragons), Jasmine looked after little cousin Emma, I just mooched around. Actually I spent a lot of time over the weekend working on my little cross-stitch that I am making for when Ping has her baby, I can hardly tear myself away from it. It is supposed to be a ten hour project, I am a bit out of practice so it might take me longer but I'm half-way done now. The problem is that the house is so dark and my eyesight isn't what it once was. The original plan was to sew while watching TV in the evening but the light is too poor. I do it anyway, and have had to unpick sections a couple of times! I sit near a window during the day.

I had the most horrendous dream last night. I've been having bad dreams through this whole peri-menopause or whatever, but this one was worse and I need to write it down to debrief. Skip if you are squeamish. For background, I do have four cousins who are heavily pregnant right now, and I recently read a book where a dangerous snake had its head chopped off. So the dream imagery wasn't completely out of the blue. So in the dream several snakes had escaped from somewhere and one was very venomous. I had a little hand axe and was trying to chop its head off, but kept missing. It was slithering between several very young children who didn't seem to notice it. Eventually I got it. Then I had to continue going after more snakes. I saw my cousin; lying naked, tanned and heavily pregnant (she is not actually one of the ones pregnant in real life) and I went over and used the axe to start to chop into her stomach. I don't know why except it was something to do with the snakes. I was trying to get right through the huge belly to sever her spine but it was hard work. She was screaming and some other people looked over but decided everything must be ok because it was just me and I must have good reason for what I was doing. Then I woke up, very shaken. So vivid and gory and disturbing. I still feel a bit ill now thinking about it. It was 1:30 in the morning when I woke and I was dismayed that I still had most of the night to get through.

The only reason I can think of for the dream is maybe wanting to get rid of the fibroid growth in my own uterus and being scared of surgery? Or, since I'm not aware of being scared, maybe it just shows my eagerness to get on with it. In a horribly brutal and violent way. It was like being in a horror movie.

Anyway, today was quite nice. The weather turned again and we had a sunny day. I didn't get out much, only to the library and shopping, I plan to go to the park tomorrow.

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