Monday, June 28, 2010

Day Nine - tired and cold

Wow it was a really freezing day all day. It was supposed to get to 11 degrees C, but it certainly didn't feel like that any times I was outside.

I have felt a bit miserable today, I think for two reasons. The lesser is that, with the class changed around this morning and me just using the cross-trainer/bike/treadmill, I really feel like I didn't do enough exercise today. I didn't go fast enough, hard enough. My calorie program said I burned over 300 calories in the 50 minutes, but it wasn't there to see how slow I was going. I need to get over this constant guilt. It's an ongoing thing, and apparently quite common for overweight people (I think I blogged about it before) to not give themselves credit for doing at least something. Never good enough.

The bigger problem is how much I am dreading getting up at 5.45 tomorrow morning, and many mornings in the future. I will be so tired and cold. The thought of it almost makes me want to cry. I need to focus on just one day at a time and hope it gets better. I suppose in spring - 2 MONTHS AWAY - it will at least start to get warmer and lighter. Why did I have to chose this time of year to start? You know why? Because I didn't start last summer, or the summer before that, or the summer before that. The time is now. Anyway, a forever of freezing mornings with not enough sleep seems to stretch into the endless horrible future. And with no morning cuddles with my little boy. So, don't think about the future. Just tomorrow. I can do it tomorrow.

My right shoulder, my old RSI injury, is hurting today. I am mostly 'cured' as long as I am careful with it, but cold and tiredness and illness always make the pain return.

Dietwise, much the same as previous days. I am, just after dinner, slightly under my daily limit but I will be using some of my exercise calories this evening at my regular Monday night supper. I'm glad (mostly, a little bit of me is sad) that I don't have much junk in the house or I might have eaten more today. Oh, I forgot to post my chocolate, so I am probably actually already into my exercise calories.

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