Day Six - still doing it!

I can hardly believe it is day 6 and I am still exercising (every day!) and restricting my calories!

It's Friday today, there is a bus strike so I had to get up a little early (but not 5.45 early!) to drive my husband to work, then back to drop Jasmine at school and watch her get an award at morning assembly (for overall improvement), then Aiden to childcare, then get hair ripped out of my body with hot wax, pop into the shops to grab a couple of things + some strawberries for morning tea, then was at the gym at 10.30. The plan was for 20 mins on the cross-trainer, 10 mins rowing, 30 minutes on the bike.

The strangest thing happened. After only a few minutes on the cross-trainer I was feeling fatigued. I wanted to get off and try something easier, like the treadmill. But I stayed on and kept going. Isn't that weird? I then got on the rowing machine, usually in the past I have done 5 minutes but today I wanted to do 10. I was busy thinking about my party next week and hardly noticed the 10 minutes go by. Finally on to the bike. I set it for 30 minutes. Pretty soon I was feeling very tired and even a bit nauseous. But I kept going. The timer kept counting down. After 5 mins I told myself to do 10 and then we'd see. At 10 I decided to do 20. And finally I made myself do it all.

This might not sound strange to self-disciplined and/or fit people, but for me this was a really major change. I didn't want to do it, but I did it anyway. I was tired, but I did it anyway. I felt a bit queasy from tiredness and possibly hunger, AND I DID IT ANYWAY.

I showered, grabbed an apple (okay, okay, and two Nice biscuits, I was starving) from the tea room, drove to the cheesecake shop and ordered my birthday cake for my party next week (lucky they don't sell cake by the slice or I might have caved), came home and had lunch. And that is my day so far.

I know I should feel really proud of myself, I have exercised six days in a row - 5 at the gym and one walk - I have stuck to my calorie limits, and I have kept going even when I didn't want to. But I don't really feel proud. I feel bewildered.