Tin Man

Monday:

I am still gradually getting better from whatever is wrong with my insides. Restless night with pain in the latter stages. Tired all day. But each day and night better than the one before. Ultrasound tomorrow.

I did the shopping in the morning, lots of fresh healthy food, and ate filling well-balanced meals and snacks. Lean meat, vegetables, fruit, home-made yoghurt. No sugar in my tea. About 1500 calories which was a bit higher than I think I need (I'm only 154cm tall and sedentary) but ok. I wasn't hungry or deprived - but I thought about food every second of the day. What I could eat, what I couldn't, what I was eating next and when. I wonder if now is a good time to try to make changes - but then when is a good time? The perfect time never comes. Right now is the time I have to improve my health.

I had planned a treat of one square of dark chocolate in the evening. After dinner I felt weirdly sad and defeated, even though I'd stuck to my eating plan all day. The only explanation I have is that I am struggling with more than a week of severely interrupted sleep. It all seemed too hard, and instead of having my dark chocolate I had a mini-binge on some less-defensible confectionary. It really wasn't that much, and I'm going to move on from it. It just seems like a big fail considering this is day one.

I put my fitbit back on when I went to bed last night, so I know I did 4,500 steps today, mostly when shopping. I remember writing less than a fortnight ago about enjoying walking primarily because I could feel my body moving in harmony with itself - well today I felt like the Tin Man when he needs his oil can. Creaky and hunched over.

Well, that was a cheery post, wasn't it! I'll keep reminding myself that overall I ate really well today. And I can hope for a better night.