No sleep

Saturday:

Sometimes I feel like I haven't had a good night's sleep for around 16 years. I had a bad chronic shoulder injury that meant pain for years (I couldn't work or dress myself or pretty much anything) which meant a lot of difficultly sleeping; then as that got better I had two children - the pregnancies then the babies waking during the night - then I injured my other shoulder, sleep apnoea, now I have the pelvic pain and the night sweats. Just let me get some sleep please!

Last night I woke three times with night sweats and pelvic pain. The sweats always seem associated with bad dreams full of negative emotions. Am I really so full of anger and frustration? In the dreams I am often overwhelmed with fury, I shout and swear and even want to physically hurt those I love. Very disturbing, and very hard to shake off when I wake. I've felt like that only a handful of times in my whole waking life, but in my sleep it seems I feel like that all the time now.

Tim was tired too after his week at work so we had a pleasant quiet day at home.