Saturday, May 2, 2015



I've decided not to make an exercise plan until I get my shoulder sorted out. I'm seeing my doctor on Tuesday, and expect to be referred to an ultrasound to see what is happening in there. It could be a couple of weeks before I know. In the meantime I will stick to low impact and no weights. Today I did no exercise at all, unless you count cooking. Or eating.

I've been watching quite a lot of reality TV since we got Foxtel. I already did, but now I've got more choice! I don't mean the kind where they follow a quasi-celebrity around with a camera, I mean like Master Chef or So You Think You Can Dance or Race Around the World or Ink Master. Real people in interesting competitions. They need to have a different name for that kind of show. Or do they already? Reality competitions? It has actually triggered some great conversations with my children. We watch RuPaul's Drag Race (about drag queens) so we got to talk about some of them being very sad when their family didn't accept their lifestyle. My kids are very comfortable with the concept of gayness, I think Modern Family took care of that! but men dressing up as women (well, kind of like women, these are flamboyant drag queens) and calling themselves "she" is still a new idea. And Jasmine loves Say Yes to the Dress, so we get to talk about how the big wedding day isn't the goal of the whole process, being married to the person you love for the rest of your life is the important bit. But nothing wrong with having a beautiful dress! As long as it doesn't cost more than a home deposit. We were watching an episode today where the bride's brother gave her a budget of $5,000 and she immediately "fell in love" with a dress that cost nearly $13,000 and was selfishly demanding he buy it for her. Good teaching moment!

Today was my free day when I am allowed treats. Like chocolate biscuits. Or the lemon cheesecake I baked. I'm still in the middle of a mental tug-of-war. On one side I feel like I get one free day a week so I need to eat ALL THE THINGS because I'm allowed and I don't want to "miss out" and otherwise I have to wait another week. But on the other side is the part that doesn't want to derail weight loss (but some say a day off stops you going into starvation mode and hoarding fat) and also feels a bit sick when I eat that junk. I definitely have a reaction to sugar, but it's the opposite to the increased cravings that sugar addicts seem to get. I just feel ill and want to avoid the stuff. Until a few hours or days later when it looks tasty enough to overcome that aversion. Maybe I need to keep my treats to the things that I enjoy eating that don't make me feel sick and regretful. Like my nachos for lunch (sorry Brandon I forgot to take a photo) made with Doritos and lots of cheese but also lean ground beef that I cooked and spiced myself and lots of fresh salsa on top. I completely enjoyed it and felt fine afterwards. Really the only thing in it I'm trying to otherwise avoid was the Doritos. The other things I ate weren't necessarily that bad either, but when I'm trying to fit all my favourite things into one day of the week it is way too much. A sanctioned alternative is to have treats spread out throughout the week (on high carb days only) which I will think about but that way could encourage endless binging.

Yet I don't want to give up treats altogether. Right now, directly after some cheesecake, it is easy to say I just won't eat that anymore. But I know after a few days of all healthy food it will be a lot more appealing. I will think on it further.

Report card: (not very pretty)
Diet: Poor (planned).
Exercise: Poor.
Water: Poor.
Sleep: Good.
Mental health: Confused.


  1. Natalie just in case you have any doubt, I'm on the side that " doesn't want to derail weight loss".

    Since I have been following you, I think you are addicted to sugar, you are just too defensive about it all the time. Yes you can go without eating it for a week (sometimes) but at one point, you can't help it and you get some and then some more. I have 2 daughters and a wife, I am really aware that at some point in the month, I have to step away between them and sweets, but that was happening only for a day or two. After this, they were back to normal.

    Haven been on this journey for as long as you have and with the result you have, you owe it to yourself to fight this addiction, don't you think? I feel like when you take this turn in the "without" direction, you started right away to focus on it. Maybe you should get some frame where you don't have to take decision about how much to have. Don't keep it at home, if you need to have some, limit the amount by finding a way that work for you. Get every one on board, maybe there is a place in your home that can be luck and Tim could have the key so that you can't get there! When you can't help it anymore, have just a little amount (Tim should give it to you). Do not accept to derail, stay focus. At one point, get off sugar, you will see, your body will not stop functioning because of that.

    You really have to find YOUR way to manage it. I'm just giving you some suggestions from what I think but from over a few continents away, what do I really know!

    Sorry to see you still have a shoulder issue, not that I'm pushing it but... walking should be fine :)

    On the gay show, I told my daughters when they were in their teen that if they ever found out they are gay, they didn't need to hide it from us, we care only for their happiness, we have no business in their sexuality.

    1. Thanks Richard, I really appreciate the concern. And I have recently noticed how defensive I am about not being addicted to sugar - why do I feel the need to say it so often? I was even thinking last night I was wishing I hadn't mentioned it yet again here. Lots of thinking to do.

  2. Hi Natalie, I really resent injuries and feel bad that you have to go through that. It's pretty deflating, so I understand your tone. If walking bothers your shoulder, do not walk. It's weird how one part of the body, like a shoulder, can hurt from something like walking if it wiggles too much. But if it doesn't bother you, you try a little walking. Maybe you could try exercises for which you lie on your back--ab exercises where you raise and/or twirl your legs in the air. Even a few minutes of that may make you mentally feel better about your exercise effort. :-)

    1. Thanks Marion. I can definitely walk, and do anything that doesn't involve too much shoulder rotation. So I will keep up the walking in the mean time. I could try those reverse crunches too with my legs up. I hope to get some information soon about my shoulder.

  3. Sugar-laden foods can be quite addictive. I think that's exactly the purpose of them. And that's a way for food manufacturers to make the big bucks.

    I am a very liberal-minded person and sexuality is not an issue for me. If my daughters were gay, it wouldn't bother me in the least. And they know that. My only concern is for them to be happy.