I've decided not to make an exercise plan until I get my shoulder sorted out. I'm seeing my doctor on Tuesday, and expect to be referred to an ultrasound to see what is happening in there. It could be a couple of weeks before I know. In the meantime I will stick to low impact and no weights. Today I did no exercise at all, unless you count cooking. Or eating.
I've been watching quite a lot of reality TV since we got Foxtel. I already did, but now I've got more choice! I don't mean the kind where they follow a quasi-celebrity around with a camera, I mean like Master Chef or So You Think You Can Dance or Race Around the World or Ink Master. Real people in interesting competitions. They need to have a different name for that kind of show. Or do they already? Reality competitions? It has actually triggered some great conversations with my children. We watch RuPaul's Drag Race (about drag queens) so we got to talk about some of them being very sad when their family didn't accept their lifestyle. My kids are very comfortable with the concept of gayness, I think Modern Family took care of that! but men dressing up as women (well, kind of like women, these are flamboyant drag queens) and calling themselves "she" is still a new idea. And Jasmine loves Say Yes to the Dress, so we get to talk about how the big wedding day isn't the goal of the whole process, being married to the person you love for the rest of your life is the important bit. But nothing wrong with having a beautiful dress! As long as it doesn't cost more than a home deposit. We were watching an episode today where the bride's brother gave her a budget of $5,000 and she immediately "fell in love" with a dress that cost nearly $13,000 and was selfishly demanding he buy it for her. Good teaching moment!
Today was my free day when I am allowed treats. Like chocolate biscuits. Or the lemon cheesecake I baked. I'm still in the middle of a mental tug-of-war. On one side I feel like I get one free day a week so I need to eat ALL THE THINGS because I'm allowed and I don't want to "miss out" and otherwise I have to wait another week. But on the other side is the part that doesn't want to derail weight loss (but some say a day off stops you going into starvation mode and hoarding fat) and also feels a bit sick when I eat that junk. I definitely have a reaction to sugar, but it's the opposite to the increased cravings that sugar addicts seem to get. I just feel ill and want to avoid the stuff. Until a few hours or days later when it looks tasty enough to overcome that aversion. Maybe I need to keep my treats to the things that I enjoy eating that don't make me feel sick and regretful. Like my nachos for lunch (sorry Brandon I forgot to take a photo) made with Doritos and lots of cheese but also lean ground beef that I cooked and spiced myself and lots of fresh salsa on top. I completely enjoyed it and felt fine afterwards. Really the only thing in it I'm trying to otherwise avoid was the Doritos. The other things I ate weren't necessarily that bad either, but when I'm trying to fit all my favourite things into one day of the week it is way too much. A sanctioned alternative is to have treats spread out throughout the week (on high carb days only) which I will think about but that way could encourage endless binging.
Yet I don't want to give up treats altogether. Right now, directly after some cheesecake, it is easy to say I just won't eat that anymore. But I know after a few days of all healthy food it will be a lot more appealing. I will think on it further.
Report card: (not very pretty)
Diet: Poor (planned).
Mental health: Confused.