Monday, May 25, 2015

Sad day


Aiden is home sick today with a nasty cough. My physiotherapist cancelled as she is sick too. Time for a quiet day at home. We spent most of the day watching TV. I sorted some more stuff and talked to family by phone and email. Sat around feeling sad.

I slept very poorly last night, thinking about dad and also all the things to do attached to his death. Still trying to get in touch with my brother. Need to write a eulogy. My aunty Pat is arranging the funeral since she lives there, so that is a burden lifted, but I'm still being consulted in everything. Obviously we'll be making another trip down there in a few days.

My physical response to grief has been very strong. Firstly that I feel cold all the time. It is nearly winter here, but even with warm clothes inside with the heating on I am very cold. And also I'm not exactly hungry but I feel very hollow and a bit nauseous, and filling that space with food does seem to help for a little while. I couldn't shop today, with Aiden home sick, we had instant noodles for lunch and ordered pizza for dinner. I ate a lot of pizza very quickly. Then put leftovers from my favourite (pepperoni) into the freezer so I couldn't eat any more. I'm not really thinking about my weight right now, but that is no reason to make myself sick with overeating.

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