Sleepless in Canberra

Wednesday:

Tiny quick rant. I woke at about 5.00am and started stressing about all the stuff I have to do: the new medium-sized work project has turned into a major one, trying to fit in exercise including training for this stupid race, overflowing baskets of laundry waiting to be folded and put away, all these people I have to call because the dryer has broken and the garage door is broken and we need a new fence etc etc.

Anyway I wasn't really particularly unhappy, just wakeful and wishing I could get back to sleep, and then I suddenly realised that the expansion of the work project means I have now committed to work all through the upcoming school holidays! Arg! I try to avoid that, so hard to work with the kids home all day and not fair to them either. There is a deadline so I can't really do anything about it, other than work really hard for the next week and a half so I can take it a bit easier over the school holidays -- like do a couple of hours each morning then take the kids out every afternoon. And work a bit more in the evening.

So now I am really stressed. And I have no idea how I am now going to fit in exercise. But it is super important that I do. And will even make me more efficient at work, too, because my brain will be working better. And it will stop my RSI taking over.

Yesterday Jasmine brought home an invitation to a birthday party at the same time as the race. It would still be possible to do both, plus the String (music) Festival in the morning where Jas is performing, but very difficult. I felt like the universe was telling me I really didn't have to do this race, no one was making me do this hated thing except my own stubbornness. Then that night I learned that both a friend and a different friend's eight-year-old son had just (independently) managed to run 3K without stopping. And I was so jealous. I can barely run for 60 seconds! And frustrated with myself. Not knowing whether to quit running or stick with it.

I shouldn't be using my break from work to do more typing, so will go and stride around the house a bit. But my head is all over the place today, I need to settle somehow. Blogging helps me sort out my thinking.