Upheavals

more Thursday:

No-one has actually said 'congratulations, you have the job' but they've agreed to my pay and hours (after some negotiation, I started high) and we are at the stage of organising a security clearance so I am pretty much assuming I have this job. I think they are desperate for more people to get the project done in time, it's already been going for months.

As I said earlier today, although it is only a part time job for a couple of months, and I never really doubted my ability to get it, and it's not even in an area I am particularly interested in; it feels like a really big deal to me. I haven't worked in an office since August 2002, more than ten years ago. I realised today I have very few suitable clothes, I live in jeans and sneakers. How am I going to go shopping, and exercise, and do what minimal housework I usually do? How do other people manage? It's all kind of scary.

Worst of all my husband is away for work for a couple of days just as this is all happening, and I can't even contact him during the day. I didn't have him here to talk to about the decision, or show him the contract, or have his reassurance.

I keep telling myself that it will be fine, I used to work full time in an office (although I didn't have kids then!), I am good at my job, I'll shop after work/school with the kids, other people do it all the time. And if I hate it it's only until the end of June (or a bit longer). Maybe it will teach me to really appreciate freelancing from home!

My expected start date is Monday week so I still have a week to organise myself. The kids are going to go to after school care one day a week which they are really excited about and on the other days I'll be back in time to pick them up from school. The office is within walking distance, about half an hour each way. The pay is better than I make with fiction editing (I charge less for fiction than I do for business/government work), and with the extra hours I'll end up making quite a bit more money than usual. If they like me it will almost certainly lead to more work.

This is a good thing. Just scary.