A week to go

Monday:

I managed to get out for a walk this morning, which I guess is a big achievement considering I've struggled lately. On Saturday I even put on my exercise gear as soon as I got up - and then sat around in it all day. But today I walked for half a hour. Slowly.

I've got a week to go on his dietbet (plus and minus a bit due to time differences and 48 hour weigh in period) and this morning I weighed 82.3 kg. need to lose 2.4 kg (5.3 lbs) in a week. It's not looking very likely, considering I haven't yet got a handle on my eating. Or anything else, really.

To be honest, I'm still struggling quite a lot. I can't seem to find any balance in my head. I don't want to do any "fun" things or go out anywhere. I spend my days ploughing through all this reading I'm committed to - a book a day - and watching cricket on TV. It's still school holidays for another week so the kids are home but I'm mostly leaving them to their own devices. On the weekend Tim takes them out a lot. House is a mess. I haven't done any writing.

I know it takes time for life to get back to normal. It's weird because I didn't even chat to mum that much, but now I keep thinking of inconsequential things I want to tell her and can't. And I'm daunted by knowing that I have to go to her house and go through a houseful of things. Sometimes it all feels like too much.