Saturday, January 10, 2015

Rain at the beach


I'm going to try to include a bit more weight loss stuff, I seem to have strayed a little from the original brief.

This morning we left my brother's home without seeing him again, he was still in bed. Tim's asthma was really bad. I keep saying I'll never stay in that house again and then something happens to make it more convenient than the alternatives. Anyway, we had breakfast at a cafe then headed off for our beach holiday.

I've talked before about the weirdness of going right now so I won't justify myself again. I feel a bit odd telling people though (mostly I just don't).

After several really hot weeks, it was now cool and pouring rain. We drove for four hours through the rain, sometimes it was so heavy we could hardly see the road ahead and lots of cars seemed to be pulling over. But we got here eventually, had lunch at the resort hotel, and went for a swim in the pool. In the rain. We were going to get wet anyway, after all, and it was quite warm.

I couldn't take photos of the nice beach with turbulent storm surf or the pool because I didn't want to get my iPad wet, so I took a gloomy grey picture of our cabin with our wet cossies dripping on the balcony. But I couldn't work out how to attach it. So you'll just have to imagine.

Now here is the weight-related bit. I weigh almost exactly the same as last summer, but apparently I'm a different shape. I had some trouble wriggling into my swimming cossie but I thought it was because I was a bit sweaty from the humidity. Then I zipped up the board shorts I wear over the top. I had to squeeze into them. My stomach was clearly a lot bigger and flabbier. I am really unhappy with the shape I am in - in both senses. I am unfit, and I am an unpleasing shape.

So even when my stomach goes all acid and anxious if I relax for a minute and think about mum, even though we will be eating out two meals a day while we are here, I need to keep a rein on my eating. I shared a dessert with Jasmine last night and I think that is a good tactic. Having smaller amounts of treat foods. Being upset about how I look does not help me feel happier!

 (added later, rainy view of the lake area from evening restaurant)

Highlights of today were the water dragon and turtle lurking around the resort restaurant, and the hot shower after the swim.


  1. Dear Natalie

    I have been following you for a while now and I have seen how suddenly your mother declined. If you gain a bit now i think it is ok if you need it to cope, but great if you can avoid it. Loosing a parent is one of the great sorrows most of us will experience. I think a vacation is a great way to ease into the knowlegde that you mother is no more - when you get back to normal life it will hit you very hard if you dont have the chance to ease into it.
    Best wishes

    1. Thanks Anne. I'm trying to go easy on myself but at the same time not use it as an excuse. You're right, I think going back to normal life will be hard.