Tuesday:
Today was definitely better. I was so miserable yesterday that I spent the evening compiling all ways I was a failure as a human being, and thinking about how different I was from the me of 20 years ago. But I had a good cry, and although it didn't seem to help at the time I did wake up happier and more able to cope with life.
Having said that, I didn't actually do any better with food or exercise. But I did the grocery shopping with the kids and only bought one packet of cheese crackers to share. I helped/encouraged/bribed the kids in some housework and the kitchen looks significantly better. Some paperwork relating to mum's death came in the mail and I filled it all in instead of pushing it aside. I did colouring in with my daughter and watched Star Wars (a new hope) with my son.
I've still got to cook dinner and drink more water and read a couple of hundred pages of short stories, but I am going to preemptively call today a win.
Sometimes you need a good cry. I think releasing that emotion is the only way to start feeling better, instead of keeping it cooped up. I'm glad you had a better day.... hopefully they'll gradually keep getting better.
ReplyDeleteThanks Jennifer. I think I'm wound up pretty tight and don't know how to let go. Need/dread some time alone.
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