Saturday:
Tried to stay positive moving into week 2 but I was feeling pretty out of sorts. For breakfast I made everyone bacon and eggs (my expensive bacon was Whole30 complaint, theirs wasn't) and I had some potato* leftover from last night's dinner when I didn't eat any.
*as explained in previous post, I decided to eat some potato even though it is not Whole30 approved.
Lunch was 2 lamb chops, carrot, cucumber, tomato and a couple of dried apple slices.
We tried to go out in the afternoon but it was too smoky. Fire-fighters are burning off around Canberra. A neighbouring state has lost hundreds of homes to bushfires in the past few days, the season has started early. So the fire-fighters are making it safer for us here which is great but means it's not very nice to go outside. Even in the car my eyes were starting to itch.
Staying on Whole30 was a real struggle. Sick of thinking about food all the time. Had removed a big source of joy from my life by eating such a restricted diet. I felt like I'd been tired and headachy and unhappy for most of the week. My six year old earnestly told me it wasn't worth it. I toyed with the idea of downgrading to a NoGrain30 so I could have some dairy and sugar. I bet cavemen had honey every chance they got.
And then I just decided to stuff the crazy Whole30 diet. Bugger it.
I went from grumpy and miserable to happy and full of energy in about 2 seconds. Made choc-chip cookies with the kids and ate a handful of choc-chips. My husband said it was the first time he'd seen me smile all day. Ate three cookies and had a delightful cup of tea with milk and sugar.
Do I feel guilty or disappointed in myself? At the moment, not at all. I feel like I have been released from the chains from a silly self-imposed prison. My brain is blissed out on chocolate. My whole family is happier because I am happy. I just can't see that as a bad thing right now.
Need to find a more sensible way to get healthy.
I'm glad you don't feel guilty. I know, for me, when I cut sugar out, once I did feel almost "normal" again, I was terrified of eating anything that had sugar in it. And that's not normal. I already have food issues and it just made it worse. I think the key is just trying to learn to listen to our bodies, which is so hard because we're so programmed to eat on a schedule and have learned to eat to comfort ourselves or celebrate things. And trying to make sure what we eat is healthy and nutritious as much as possible, but not be so rigid we don't enjoy eating. Like you said, cavemen probably enjoyed honey or whatever sweet things they could find when they could. That's why it's sweet... that's why fatty things taste good... they're meant to because we need it, just not in the quantities we usually eat it because it's so easily available now.
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