Wednesday, April 1, 2015

April resolution


Whenever I think about making resolutions I want to cover every aspect of life. I start with making one but then think of a million more. I promise to eat perfectly/exercise every day/drink enough/write every day/keep a perfectly clean house/be a perfect wife and mother and person etc. But I am going to make one - only one - resolution for April. I am going to use my CPAP every night this month. The only acceptable excuse is sickness, like the very runny nose I've just got over or nausea (which is made worse by air blowing up my nose, for some reason). No other excuse will do. Not travelling (the CPAP is portable), not "it's too hot" (luckily nights are getting cooler here) and certainly not "can't be bothered".

Sleep is the foundation, for me, for everything else. When I'm tired I made poor choices, I give in to food cravings, I don't want to exercise, I can't think clearly to write creatively, I get snappy and irritable and unhappy. And, of course, sleep apnoea is dangerous for my health. When I get more sleep, everything else is much easier. So why do I ever resist wearing it? Because I have enough trouble getting to sleep even without having something strapped to my face, because it was very sweaty all through summer, because I can be lazy and want to avoid unpleasantness in the now even though it has bad consequences.

But this is my promise to myself. I will wear it every night in April. The sleep part of my report card will be about how well I do on this front - how long I keep it on during the night.

I will still be working on all my other goals. But sleep is my primary objective.

I forgot to weigh myself this morning, I usually use Wednesday as my weekly weigh-in. There is less than a week to go on this month's dietbet and there is no chance I will meet the goal, but I am not letting that worry me. Just forging on towards next month.

I went for two short walks today (total about half an hour). I still found it a bit tiring and my heart rate went up more than it usually would for a short stroll, but better than yesterday. And my resting heart rate is back down to normal, it's been way up all week just sitting around. I'll keep just doing a little more each day, not too strenuous yet. Feeling much better.

Report card:
Diet: Ok. Still having an afternoon slump, when I get tired, and I eat my way through it.
Exercise: Good.
Water: Poor.
Sleep (last night): Ok.
Mental health: Good.


  1. Natalie I have so much compassion for the ones that has to wear a CPAP. If I had to have one, even with all my positive thinking I would have a hard time dealing with it.

    I know your main goal is to get rid of it, you can do it. Be good on yourself, don’t give in to temptations.

    I am so happy to hear you went for walks, this is steps in the right direction, it is a sure sign of beating off your flue.

    1. Thanks Richard I'm feeling a lot better.

  2. A good resolution for April. I wish you a great month ahead.

  3. I also think it's a great resolution, but I would add a time component. If you're like me you'll immediately start finding "holes" in your resolution. My first one would be to wear it for an hour and then take it off and say "I used it". How about committing to using for at least 4 hours each night? When I first got mine I had to prove to the insurance company that I was wearing it at least 4 hours/night for the first 90 days.

    Maybe you should consider the face mask instead of the nose one. I wear the face mask even with a runny nose (of course then my mouth dries out, but better than not using it).

    Best of luck with this resolution, I know you can do it!

    1. Time component is a good idea. I like four hours.
      Not sure about a full face mask. I could try it sometime. But I'm determined to lose this weight and get rid of the whole thing asap!

  4. Sounds great, I can only imagine how uncomfortable it is in the summer, personally I cannot sleep in humidity, but great goal for the month.

    1. Thanks Brandon. Hopefully it will be gone by next summer!

  5. Wishing you the best. What is a cpap?

    1. CPAP is Continuous Pressure something something. It's for people who have sleep apnoea, which is where you stop breathing when you are asleep and jerk awake. Often it's because your neck is too fat and your throat collapses a bit when you are lying down due to the weight of the fat. When you're asleep it relaxes too much.

      A CPAP can either be a mask that goes over your mouth and nose or in my case just little nose plugs, hooked up to a machine via a big tube. It continuously blows air up your nose, which holds your airway open all night and prevents you from stopping breathing.

      Without a CPAP you wake so frequently throughout the night (my case is considered moderate at 15 times an hour) that your sleep is always disrupted and you're always tired during the day, dangerously so. You never get a good night sleep. Also, your brain is frequently being deprived of oxygen which is not good for you at all! So it is a serious matter and I really need to wear it.

    2. Wow so very kind of you to explain. Thank you.