Bad choice

Thursday:

I spent the whole day finishing a project that was actually due yesterday. I tried to get up and move around regularly (my legs aren't nearly so sore today) and drink my water, but otherwise I just worked until dinner time. And got it done and sent off.

I'd eaten healthy up until then but I was suddenly craving fried chicken. Salt and fat! I really didn't want to cook, even though not cooking would mean going out to get something - arguably more work than cooking what I already had planned. Fried chicken was calling. Strangely, even though the late work was now finished, I had started feeling really stressed and uncomfortable. I wanted my favourite salt and fat to soothe me. So I gathered up the kids and went out and bought it and ate it. And felt better.

I'm a bit confused at the moment. I know it was a bad choice, and I should feel bad for giving in to my craving. But actually I felt bad before, and eating it made me feel good. So I should make myself feel bad again? That doesn't sound like it would help! So how should I be feeling?

And we know stress is really bad for us, right? I felt a lot less stress after I ate, so that is a good thing, right?

I know I'm not going to convince anyone (including myself) that it was a good choice. It's just really hard to feel guilty when I am actually feeling very content. I didn't overeat, I had two pieces and a few chips. But it was unhealthy, I know.

If this was sugar people would say it's because I am addicted and fed my addiction. Can you be addicted to fat and salt? My comfort foods/trigger foods always contain these elements. Chips, cheezles, Doritos, fried chicken, hot chips. Crunchy is best.

Report card:
Diet: Poor.
Exercise: Poor.
Water: Great.
Sleep: Good.
Mental health: Bad, then good.