Carb loading and fat jeans

Monday:

I've resisted buying new clothes for weeks months years because I wanted to wait until I lost some weight, but the blue jeans I wear nearly every day in cooler weather started fraying on the inner thigh seams and there are now actual holes. I don't have that much else to wear so the situation had become critical. Today I forced myself to go jeans shopping. I tried on quite a few pairs but ended up getting the same ones as last time which are actually men's jeans. But in a bigger size. Sad face. The same size were just too squeezy and gave me a horrible muffin top. I know they stretch, but then they also shrink again when you wash them. The old ones had had a year or more to get to their current comfortable shape.

I forced myself to get them because I need something to wear at the size I am now, even if I'm not happy at this size. They have to be taken up, of course, because of my short legs, so I won't get them for a couple of days. I'm hoping my old ones hold together for that much longer.

I also got some track pants to walk in during winter.

I'm feeling ok about myself, actually. Really determined to get healthy and lose this weight. I still can't use my CPAP due to frequent coughing fits (tried again last night but had to give up) so I'm tired, but I'm over the flu and feeling so much better, even with the coughing!

I started carb loading this morning ready for my glucose tolerance test on Thursday. I always grumble about carb loading. Yes I like toast and potato and rice and biscuits and fruit and pasta. Just not in these quantities! It makes me feel kind of sick. They do know I have insulin resistance, right? So strange, to be deliberately eating the stuff that makes my body sick, so I can so just how sick I get! Like when Dr House makes someone run on a treadmill to see if they have a heart attack. But it's all for a purpose.