Library excursion

Thursday:

I had a vaguely embarrassing moment in the library today. I had selected about six books on various aspects of dieting - prescriptive ones and inspirational ones and personal story ones - but my card didn't work at the self-service check out so I had to go up to the counter. It was another aspect of the uncomfortable feeling a lot of overweight people get when buying fast food, feeling judged by the server (who probably doesn't care). I felt like desperate fat person, with a stack of weight loss books when clearly whatever I was currently doing wasn't working. One or two would have been bad enough, but six? Trying to get healthy should be a lot less embarrassing than, say, buying enough fast food for three people, but I still had to steel myself. I guess it's like walking into the gym for the first time. We expect judgement whether we are trying to get healthy or in conspicuous consumption.

I'm not planning to try to follow the advice of all these books, but I enjoy reading that kind of thing and the good ones can help motivate me. One that I grabbed is about intermittent fasting, which I don't intent to try because I think it is counter-indicated for those with insulin resistance, but I like to know the current trends. I also got the Beck diet solution, which I think is more about working on bad habits (like eating in front of the TV) rather than an "eat this" book. And tips from people who have been on Biggest Loser (US version, unfortunately, not Aus).

I am really starting to feel the effect of sleep apnoea, after a week without my CPAP. Tried to use it last night but couldn't because I was coughing too much. I find it harder to cope with things, and definitely more snappy with the kids.