Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Let it go


I was angry and upset but I did NOT turn to food.

It was nothing so very bad, just house-training the puppy. He has taken to waiting until we come back inside then peeing on the carpet. Today I stayed out with him for an HOUR AND A HALF, nothing. Came back inside because it was getting cold (winter here, remember) and he barely made it in the door before letting go. I went from happy to furious in a second. I yelled at him and had to put him back outside for a few minutes alone so I wouldn't take out my frustrations on him, I know he is just a confused puppy. But it takes me so long to calm down when I get so upset about something. An hour later I was only just starting to feel better. Still, I did not turn to food.

I said yesterday that last night's overeating was unplanned, but I have realised that wasn't true. I provided most of what I ate, knowing full well I was going to partake. I "gave myself permission" because it was a special occasion - friends leaving and I likely won't ever see them again, or rarely. Yet although I knew for a couple of days in advance what I was going to eat, I guess I didn't let myself think about it too closely. And then was annoyed at myself after the fact! Oh well, moving on.

I got my new Beck diet book in the mail today, the follow up to the one I have been using. It is mainly the same information, repackaged, which I already knew but I wanted my own copy of one (the other is a library book) so I thought I might as well get the new updated one. It is perfect timing, tomorrow is the final day of the six week course in the first book (four weeks of actual dieting, I overlapped the first two weeks of preparation with the actual diet time). Then I can start going through my new one, which is arranged differently into five stages instead of 42 days. I will read it all through before starting on the tasks.

One thing I've been scared of with this diet attempt is that usually a fail means a total fail and I give up entirely and wallow in junk food again. But I'm up to nearly four weeks and although I've had several slips I've just got back up straight away and kept going. This cognitive therapy stuff is really working for me. Concentrating several times a day on why I want to lose weight, giving myself credit for what I do right, not considering a slip the end of the diet, planning ahead what I am going to eat but only one day at a time (I have in the past made weekly plans that I haven't stuck to at all), setting small goals instead only looking ahead to goal weight, dealing with feeling like life is unfair because I can't eat everything I want all the time, it is all helping.


  1. One of the things that helped with our dog was that if he didn't go outside, he went right back into his crate. Then we let him back out again 15 minutes later, and back in if he didn't go outside. He got the clue really fast that peeing outside was the only way to fun and playtime out of the crate, and that solved the problem. :) Sounds like your puppy is very confused about where to go, it happens. Glad you didn't turn to food.

  2. I might try that if it continues. It's just weird that he is suddenly doing this when he gets so much praise outside and stern "no" inside and was mostly getting it right except for accidents which I expect at this age. I'm just a bit snappy these days from lack of sleep.