Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Does that count as a win?


Is this a fail or a win? Last night I had 200 calories to spend on treat foods. I started with a couple of wholegrain crackers with cheese, which I didn't count as a treat but it put something in my stomach. I chose some chocolate and some chips and counted them out onto a plate. So that was good. Then I randomly grabbed a pear cider which would totally take me over my treat limit. I ignored the "good me" voice warning me against it and told myself it was ok. That is the fail bit. I fully intended to eat/drink more calories than I had planned for.

I ate half the chocolate and some of the chips and had a few sips of the cider. And didn't want any more. It wasn't any effort of will power, I just didn't want to have any more. So I didn't. Is that a win? I'll call it a win. I could easily, in the past, have just eaten the rest even though I didn't want it; I did that all the time. But this time I pushed it away.

I always say I'm not addicted to sugar, I don't even like sweet things much except as a little taste. But these past two weeks I've been mainly sticking to real food and therefore unintentionally having less sugar - just a bit in my tea and the occasional piece of chocolate. And my food cravings - which are generally for non-sweet things - have been almost non-existent. I'm not sure if it is related to reduced sugar/fake food or if it's just that I am still in the "honeymoon" period of a new diet. I have rarely made it to the two week point before though.

I've been in a few situations that are typically tempting for me; games night, shopping when hungry, my own cooking, but I really haven't been all that tempted most of the time. Food doesn't seem as important as usual. I have houseguests this weekend so I have to negotiate that. Do I offer any unhealthy dessert/snacks? Or only what will fit into my food plan?

Another good night with Thor only getting us out of bed once. The arrangement is that Tim takes him outside in the cold dark (maybe rain) for a toilet stop then I stay up with him inside for the 20-30 minutes he needs to get sleepy again, and put him back to bed. Alternating would mean one person could stay in bed, but I am scared of the dark and Tim needs his sleep to work the next day so this way works best for both of us. And once a night isn't too bad. Four times a night was horrible.

Unfortunately I'm having a lot of trouble with my CPAP. Since getting the flu a month ago, I think I've got through a whole night with it a total of three times. At first it was just the frequent coughing that would make me give up, but now I am having some technical issues. Twice there was a loud air escape from the machine which I couldn't investigate in the dark (turned out it was just the lid to the humidifier popping open under pressure, I mustn't have shut it properly), and for the last couple of nights air has started escaping around my nostrils after I've been wearing it for a while (maybe when it gets up to full pressure). But why now? Have my nostrils changed size or shape? I didn't have this problem before. The CPAP isn't a whole mask, just little plastic marshmallows sitting inside my nostrils. I wriggle it around but can't stop the air leak. It is noisy (comparatively, in the dead of night) and unpleasant if it is blowing into my eye. Always right nostril, I think. If it keeps happening I'll have to investigate other masks, but it is weird because this exact one was working perfectly for me before.

[edit: when washing it this evening I found the inner part was inside out which would hopefully explain the escaping air - hopefully will be better tonight]

Still on track with my food but not exercising at all except for walking the kids to and from school, carrying a puppy. I can't let him down because he is not fully immunised yet. He really wants to walk, but I can't let him. Too many other dogs around. Sigh. He is cute and cuddly and takes up soooo much of my time. It's been 14 years since I had a dog, I guess I forgot.

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